Karkat swung open the door to a once familiar room that had recently been designated for a new purpose. While he walked he nervously fidgeted, adjusting the vibrant red tie of the suit that Kanaya had tailored specially for this occasion. He managed to find the correct place to sit, with some guidance from Terezi , and sat down with only a slight hesitation. The chair squeaked slightly, the sound echoing repeatedly around the room .This both annoyed and intimidated him, but annoyance rather than intimidation was the mood that was brought to the forefront.
"TE-"
He began, but was cut off swiftly by the very voice of the person he meant to address.
" Mr . Karkles! "( upon hearing Terezi use this pet name, Dave nudged her expectantly, and she began again. )
" Mr Vantas! You have been brought here to face the court! Your heinous crime must be punished! I would like to take this time to assure you if you had any lingering doubts that Justice will indeed prevail! hehehe"
At this Dave nodded slowly at the front of the court room where WV was sitting, perched in a makeshift Judge`s chair, WV raised one bandage wrapped hand and nodded determinedly.
This was a sign that the court would be able to proceed.
"Mr. Vantas, you are called here today on the charges of recklessly knocking over a can, and as a result, it spilling, and therefore, rendering it technically dead. We of the prosecution intend to probe that this was a willful action, and there was indeed intent. "
As Terezi sat down, another previously unnoticed figure stood up, flinging papers across the courtroom.
"Aww Chill Terecita. My boy here didn`t mean no motherfuckin harm to no one. He knew how hard all you guys were working on those cans. I mean that town is a motherfuckin miracle bro. There is no way that he would do it on purpose. He`s totally not guilty. "
"An interesting choice for a lawyer ,Mr. Vantas. Choosing your partner in crime, and the only one that has destroyed more can lives than you have, regardless of how many times we tell him the faygo cans in the village are indeed, valid citizens and have rights, he bleeds them dry like a vampire. "
Terezi broke character for a minute second, wincing and nodding her head toward the benches, in a clear apology to Kanaya, indicating that she had been insensitive with the comparison.
As quick as the glint of empathy appeared, it was gone, for there was no room for empathy in matters of JUSTICE.
"Your honour, the prosecution would like to call their first witness, Strider. "
WV nodded his approval, and Dave was escorted to the Witness box.
Terezi moved to the stand.
"Your name is Dave Strider, You are 14 years old, and you live on this meteor, is that correct? "
Dave nodded lazily.
"Mr. Strider I am going to need a spoken assent for the court records!"
" I guess that would be a yes then , Ms. Pyrope.
"What do you do on this meteor?"
"Well me and my two pals, we run a really sick city, its off the hook. "
" I`m going to stop you there Mr. Strider, you say you run a city? "
"Sure do Pyrope, like you don`t know! We run the dopest fucking city around. It's full of cans. Cans are where it's at "
"So the town consists of cans?"
"Yep , its built from cans and cans live in it."
"Mr Strider, would you be able to recount what happened yesterday?"
", you`re the boss TZ. So me and my best bro WV and TZ too, were just minding our own business. Being cool, like cool kids do.
"What exactly do cool kids do ? "
" Paint, build things, you know. The usual. It's our job to take care of the town and its citizens and we take it VERY seriously."
Anyway, while we are doing what we do, I suddenly see this blur approaching, but I don`t really pay attention you know? All the crazy shenanigans on this meteor , could have been fuckin anything. "
"What happened next?"
"Well this unruly blob just kept getting closer and closer, and they seemed to be yelling about something ? I couldn`t exactly tell what, but they seemed pretty angry man. "
"So an angry yelling blob was quickly approaching you? "
"Yes and then as it came closer I saw it was Karkat-"
" I`m going to stop you right there, can you identify the person that you saw earlier in this courtroom?"
Dave nods and smirks slightly pointing to Karkat.
"Let the records note that Mr, Strider has recognized Mr Vantas , the accused . "
"What happened next "
"Well he invaded the city man, and he started yelling at me, I`m not really sure what he was going on about, but he was making all of these really expressive gestures . I warned him to step back because you know, like I said you don't mess with the cans. But he refused."
"so he invaded the city and was making gestures? "
"You got it tz. That's it exactly. And next thing I know , the guy has knocked over one of our precious cans! All the while clearly distressed."
"So he knocked down the can after you told him to step away from the city?"
"Yea man, I gave him a few chances too, like he had a good few minutes of ranting."
"So to summarize, the accused came barging in, was angry about something , and you warned him to step back, but he refused and knocked down the can, spilling its violent red liquid all over the ground"
"yep, that's pretty much it . "
" Thank you your honour , Mr Strider, My …. Learned …Terezi trailed off, glancing at Gamzee doubtfully ,
Friend will have some questions for you now "
Karkat nudged Gamzee, who grinned lazily as he approached the stand.
"So. Dave MOTHERFUCKING STRIDER."
"My bro would never knock down your cans on purpose. Life is a motherfucking miracle, and no one understands that better than my bro Karkat!"
"OBJECTION! ", Terezi stands swiftly
"He is not phrasing the question in the proper manner!"
WV nods and indicates approval of Terezi`s objection.
"Yes or no questions Gamzee. " Terezi sighs.
"Strider, you understand that there is no motherfucking way my bro would knock down your motherfucking can, right bro. "
"I`m gonna be straight up with you Gamz, he DID knock down the can, and he needs to be brought to justice. "
"So you recognize he didn't MOTHERFUCKING mean it? " he intoned carefully, hope for miracles oozing out of every pore of his being.
" No, no Gamzee, I think he did it. "
Gamzee scratched his head, puzzled.
Everyone waited with bated breath for his next move, and waited, and waited, and waited.
Finally at the 5 minute mark, Terezi stood up again.
"Is that all? "
"Oh yea, that's all sis, surely the judge can see that my bro isn`t guilty."
Gamzee adopted a self-satisfied smirk and sauntered dreamily back to sit beside his client.
Terezi stands up puzzled. "The prosecution rests your honour. "
WV nods, and Karkat rolling his eyes, nudges Gamzee to get up again.
"Uh, I would like to call our witness, and my best MOTHERFUCKING pal to the stand."
Karkat rolls his eyes and sighs, trudging up to the witness box.
"So uh, can you tell me what, uh happened best pal? "
"YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED. I WAS MAD AT STRIDER AND I JUST WANTED HIM TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? SO MAYBE I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED DOWN A CAN SO WHAT. "
"So you did knock down the can? " Gamzee asked, face falling slightly.
"YES OF COURSE I DID, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS CASE. IT'S NOT WHETHER I KNOCKED IT OVER, IT'S THE INTENT. AND THE ONLY INTENT I HAD. WAS TO TALK TO THAT….. IMBECILE WITH THE STUPID GLASSES."
"Oh, well that's motherfucking cool bro. I`m sure everyone will understand that."
"You can ask my man some questions now sis"
"Gamzee ! That is not proper legal procedure!"
"Anyway, moving on, Good afternoon ."
"Uh, Hey Terezi."
"So you say you went over to can town to talk to Dave, correct? "
"I mean I had to talk to-"
"That`s a yes? "
"Well, yes. "
"And you stated that you were angry when you went to talk to Dave? "
" WELLL I JUST WANTED TO –"
" You seem to have been shouting at him, and you still are shouting, that would indicate that you were frustrated, wouldn`t it Karkat? "
" WELL. I . UH. YES? "
"So taking that into account, that would imply you were angry when you went and talked to Dave? "
" I. GUESS SO…
I MEAN YES?" He quickly responded as Terezi shot him an intense glare.
"You know that the can town crew works with cans all the time, is that not correct? "
" Uh , yes?"
"And the rules have been explained to you before? Specifically the rules about cans being people? "
"YES TEREZI MANY TIMES. YOU CANT HAVE A FRIEND WHO KEEPS DRINKING OUT OF THE GODDAMN CANS AND NOT KNOW THE RULES. "
"Mr Strider says that he reminded you to back out of the town before you hurt the cans, is that not correct? "
"WELL FUCK I JUST DIDN'T CARE AT THAT POINT. I WAS JUST SO ANGRY "
"So you are saying Mr Strider did warn you about the impending peril to the cans, and you purposely chose to stay there ? "
"WELL WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY- "
"Yes or no Mr Vantas, there is no worming out of JUSTICE."
"UH YES. "
"So you were angry, and didn`t heed the warning that Mr . Strider put out for you even though you knew the rules about can town ? "
" YES. HAVENT WE BEEN OVER THIS"
"so you stayed in can town and thereby knocked a can down of your own volition? "
" IF I SAY YES CAN WE JUST LEAVE , I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN LISTEN TO THIS DRAG ON FOR AN ETERNITY. "
" Is that a yes then Mr Vantas? " Terezi probed with a predatory smile.
" YES. FINE. IT'S A YES. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW. "
" No more questions your honour. "
"I would like to proceed to closing speeches!"
"Your honour, today we have seen the evidence that Mr Vantas, the accused, has violently struck down a can! He has admitted that he was angry, and that Mr Strider had warned him to get away from the cans. He has also admitted that he had known about the rules surrounding can town and its citizens, and where there are laws, there is justice! He must not get away with this heinous crime! THE CAN NEEDS JUSTICE, NO. IT DESERVES JUSTICE. We have proved beyond a reasonable doubt, that Mr Vantas was , indeed intending to knock down the can, and since the defense has not given us any evidence to contradict this claim, I implore you come up with a guilty verdict. ! Thank you for your time! "
Gamzee stood up slowly.
" Aw man sis that was totally intense! I gotta give you motherfucking props for that speech. I just hope the judge will realize that Karkat would never hurt a motherfucking fly . shit man. He`s a great bro. He`s totally NOT GUILTY. Yea. Thanks judgebro . "
With that Dave went up to consult with WV. Everyone waited with bated breath to hear the verdict.
Dave cleared his throat.
" As the official spokesperson on behalf of our judge, I would like to thank you all for coming to court today! Mr Vantas please stand up! The judge has determined that there was sufficient evidence to prove you guilty of all charges! Your sentence will be one day of rehabilitation in can town, tomorrow. Sunrise. Don`t be late. "
Terezi grinned happily as everyone filed out of the courtroom.
"See you tomorrow Karkles! "
The next day, as Karkat mumbled to himself, stacking up cans in the formation of a house, wondering why the hell he just had to be dragged here, just had to pick that fight with Strider, he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find Terezi grinning down at him, hand extended, with a new can carefully nestled in her palm.
" Hey Mr Karkles, thought you could use some company. "
Suddenly, the day didn`t feel like a waste at all. Not one bit.