A/N (Author's Note) : This fan fiction is set right after season three. I'm one of those suckers who loved Prue, as such I've always wondered what she might have been doing after that awful, awful day...
The plot will be primarily based around Prue and Andy, but that's not to say they will be the only characters – anyway, it'll all unravel as the fiction progresses. Even if you were never particularly taken by Prue/Andy, there's no reason for this fiction to not have some appeal (although admittedly, the beginning may be taxing).
Any who, read, enjoy, and it would be astoundingly useful if you could let me know how it goes for you. Thanks!
Oh, I don't own Charmed, the characters, producers, etc. Nada.
Please, please read this s-l-o-w-l-y. You may be tempted to read through this chapter mega-quick, or to just skim read it, but all I ask is that, if you do this first, to then start again, and read it slowly, taking in each word. Pause when a comma crops up, and really really pause when these '...' three dots (repeatedly) pop up too. Otherwise you'll miss aspects, and the meaning of what I've written.
She was falling... falling into an abyss of... white? No... no... she was rising. Rising into an all-enveloping white mist.
Or was she?..
She desperately tried to reach for something – to even feel her own physical body. But her arms, and hands, failed. As if there was nothing to touch... nothing to... nothing?..
How could there be nothing?
Even her brain, her always level-headed, diligent and reliable brain had seemingly passed into this nothingness. Thoughts never quite came to the surface, yet there was something... something pulling her into... no... pointing her to...
What was going on? Why couldn't she think? Feel?..
Then it happened. A crashing crescendo of throbbing pain.
It started in her head... then her back... then it traveled... lingering... spiraling through to her arms, legs, hands... finalizing, by engulfing her heart.
In a vain attempt, she tried to cry out, but there was no noise here.
The pain squeezed and screamed within her heart, whilst fresh waves of pain crashed over the rest of her body.
Was this what it meant to die?
If tears could form and fall, they would. Oh, how she just couldn't believe it. Death.
The one thought her brain could muster, was that of the end. The moment her body was hurled violently through a wall. The pain of the crash, her fatal injuries, was released by her last bittersweet breath before death claimed her life.
After that, well, it was this. The seemingly never ending white nothingness.
Was this the afterlife? Heaven? Hell? Somewhere in-between?
She suddenly felt an intangible sensation; that she wasn't supposed to be here.
"Prue..."A familiar female sounding voice entered her head. "Prue... my darling..."
Then another, sterner voice, once again familiar, and female, "Prudence... can you hear us?.. Prudence... find us through the mist..."
What..? Who..? How..?
"Prue... you must fight through this... your unconsciousness... this is not the ultimate end... Prue..."
Ultimate end? Erm... what?
The voices got louder, clearer, with such clarity, it was like they were right next to her.
"She's running out of time. Soon she won't have an opportunity to fight it..."
"We can't give up, she would want this; another chance..."
Her brain worked furiously, trying to pinpoint the voices to people she should remember.
The first voice, turned from the comforting tone it had been, to an almost menacing one. "You haven't healed her wounds properly! How can she fight through this, when she's... when she's... when she has these injuries!"
"We have done all that we had power to do." A masculine voice, almost a collective of voices, said. Sounding further away than the female voices, but in a way that gave the impression she was surrounded.
"Do they not want this after all? Do they not feel she deserves this anymore?"
She heard a sharp intake of a breath – a sound in particular, she felt she'd heard many times before. It was almost a warning sound before... before... oh why couldn't she remember?!
"Patty! You have no right-" The second female voice was cut off, almost as soon as her demand began.
The strange male collective voice was heard again. "We have done everything they have given us power to do. The rest, is up to her."
The comfort returned in the first voice, and seemed to get closer. "Prue... please, my darling. Please hear me... just breathe. Breathe... just inhale... please Prue, you have to do this."
Patty?...Patty... Why did that name ring a huge bell in her brain?
"Prudence, stop being lazy! Inhale already and just breathe!"
"Mother!"
"She always used to respond so well to me shouting at her," the second voice responded, somewhat curtly.
"Now is not the time mother! We might lose her, and your making those kind of remarks?"
"Oh, believe me, that girl is too strong to be lost like this. Isn't that right Prudence? Why don't you show us just how strong you really are, and just breathe..."
Just breathe? How?..
Right at that moment, she felt the voices slipping away from her, and the whiteness seemed to slowly be dissipating into, well, darkness.
Realization hit her; she was losing them, whoever they were, but her instincts told her that she really didn't want to lose them, as if it meant that somehow she herself would be lost... forever?
She sensed panic in the voices around her. Did that mean they were, well, around her? Actually near her? Was she still a physical being?
Feeling there was no time to waste, and everything to lose, she tried to do what she'd been told to do; breathe.
But it didn't happen. It was like her lungs just didn't work, or wouldn't work. Her own panic took hold. The darkness was growing, and the whiteness was slipping from her. The voices too, got distant, and she thought she heard the beginnings of crying.
She couldn't let the darkness fall upon her. She wanted... well she didn't know what she wanted but she did know that she didn't want this... this screamed wrong.
She tried again, desperately wishing to inhale, to uptake air and what she hoped would regain her consciousness.
But it was to no avail. Air would not come. Did she even possess lungs anymore?
As the last of the white was replaced with dark, she thought that maybe this is what was supposed to happen, that this was where she was supposed to be.
No! Something gripped at her heart, her soul, her spirit... this place was not for her! "Fight for the voices to come back... to awaken..." An almost whispering voice said within her, filling her with the necessity to fight for who she was... and who she should be.
Putting everything she had into her cause, she willed herself to inhale, to breathe, to rise above the darkness.
This time, her final chance, she succeeded.
Air came rushing into her lungs, and it was one of the most painful things she ever felt. It was almost tempting to stop the terror of the pain, by stopping the inflow of air, but she needed this.
Consciousness came, as the air flooded in. Her eyes opened briefly, staring up at a sky of brilliant white. She became aware of the presence of others around her; the voices she'd heard.
But before she could give another thought to the voices, the time had come to exhale. Her lungs burned with the need to now give back the air she had inhaled.
With all the willpower that remained, she forced the air out. It left with the same pain that it arrived with.
"Prue... oh Prue... that's it, just do it again... I promise each time it will get easier, just keeping breathing Prue..."
Recognition shocked through her brain as she placed the voice, and she almost cried out her name, and would have, had she not been so intent on making sure she kept inhaling and exhaling.
She felt a hand holding one of hers, and another warm hand was stoking her forehead tenderly. Her other hand was taken up by two slightly colder ones.
She swallowed as breathing did get easier, and less of a conscious effort. Her eyes fluttered open, and were again greeted with brilliant white above her, but closer to her, she finally saw who the two voices from before belonged to; her mother and grandmother.
She was aware that she was lying flat on her back, on what seemed like a raised platform.
Looking at her mother, Patty Halliwell, Prue opened her mouth, and tried to speak, but only managed to coarsely croak out "mom".
Patty continued to stroke her daughter's forehead. "Ssh, sweetie, just try to relax, everything is just about to get worse before it gets better".
Feeling her eyes slightly widen at that statement, she had no time to prepare for the shock of crashing pain waves roll across her entire body. The pain was exactly the same as she'd felt when she had been originally shrouded in the whiteness.
This time she could cry out, and with almost no control a scream escaped from her mouth as she tried to fight the pain. She squeezed at the hands that held hers, and felt her back arch under the pain.
"Grams," Prue stifled out between screaming and gasping for breath.
Penelope Halliwell, 'Grams', trying to hide the pain of her hand being squeezed of life by her eldest granddaughter, sweetly responded with, "I knew you had the strength in you Prudence, if there is anyone who can pull themselves from the final afterlife, it's you!" She flashed Prue one of her timeless smiles, the effect however was lost, as Prue cringed once again under the pressure of the pain.
Just as Prue was about to bear against another wave of pain, she felt it starting to ebb away with each breath she took. She closed her eyes as she tried to relax her muscles, all of which had contracted under the influence of pain.
Seeing her daughter starting to calm down and relax, Patty glanced at her own mother, both knowing what was going to happen next.
"Prue," Patty started, trying to figure out just what to say. She still continued to stroke Prue's forehead. "Prue, this is really important, as your consciousness returns you are going to... well... Prue you just need to not worry about the situation." Feeling slightly lost for words, Patty shared a look with Penny.
Grams squeezed Prue's hand within her own. "Prudence, what your mother is trying to say is, don't panic as thoughts come flooding through your head. Everything is being taken care of, Prue, you just need to worry about yourself right now..."
As Prue laid there, eyes closed, she was aware of thoughts and memories coming back as her consciousness did indeed return.
One particular thought spiraled into a much bigger one: her sisters.
In an instant Prue bolted up from the platform, only now seeing the ring of robed whitelighters surrounding her.
"What's going on?" Prue almost shouted at the whitelighters. "I can't be here... I can't... this isn't right! I need to help Piper and Phoebe! Oh no no no... Shax! Shax! He's going to kill them... " Prue batted her mother's and grandmother's hands off of her and got off the platform, landing a little roughly on her feet.
Patty grabbed Prue's arm. "Prue it's ok, they're ok-."
"No, mom, you don't understand!" Prue desperately looked around her, trying to find a way out of this madness. "I've got to protect them! What do I do... What do I do... oh I really really can't do this..." It was when she turned to face her mother that she saw her tear-streaked face. "Mom, you've got to help me, I've got to get to Piper and Phoebe, I've got to... I... I have to protect them... please... mom what do I do?" Towards the end, Prue's voice broke as she fought against the sobs that threatened to escape as tears flooded into her eyes.
It broke Patty's heart to see Prue being destroyed by the situation. She knew, that Prue knew the truth of it; her death, but she also knew to expect her daughter to deny it all, to begin with.
She forced a smile at her daughter, and held her arm less forcefully. "Prue it's all ok, your sisters are fine and safe, Shax hasn't attacked them."
Prue stared at her mother, in disbelief that Patty didn't see the seriousness of the situation. She pulled away from her and walked towards the circle of whitelighters. They made no movement of getting out her way, so as she reached the edge, she forced herself in a gap between two of them.
"Prudence, get back here, right now!" She heard Grams shout. "You're not ready!"
Prue recognized where she was; she had been here once before. When Eames, a shape-shifting warlock stole the whitelighter Natalie's powers to orb up here, the Charmed Ones, together vanquished him, here; 'Up There'.
The thought of her sisters, as well as where she was, brought a sickening feeling to the pit of her stomach, and she felt ready to vomit. Feeling a loose tear running down her cheek, she quickly brushed it away, and she looked for some sort of gateway or something to get back to the manor, to her sisters.
However, her search became impossible as her vision blurred, with ever more tears forming, waiting to be released. As a sob escaped from her, Prue felt her leg muscles give way, and she began to fall to the hard, solid floor below her.
A strong arm caught her as she fell, and slowly lowered her.
Prue felt the control of her emotions slip away as she became overwhelmed with her grief and regret, her body succumbing to her cries and sobs. She touched her forehead against the floor, and curled into a ball, as if isolating herself from the rest of the world.
Patty and Penny knelt down next to her, whilst the mysterious strong arm kept a protective hand on the small of her back.
Patty once again in tears, touched her hand tenderly to Prue's hair. "I know this is hard for you Prue, but I promise everything will work out."
Prue couldn't find the words to respond – or the breath, caught in a series of choking weeps. The hand at the small of her back sent warm shivers through the core of her spine, as it moved in gentle, slow, minimal movements. She recognized the comforting gesture immediately, and whilst it was consoling to have it, the memories that flooded in only made the situation all the more real.
Penny tried to find words of comfort, but struggled. "Prudence, believe me, when I say this, that your death, is not the end for you, that this is not your final destiny."
Finding strength, Prue raised her head, and sat up, this time letting the tears fall freely from her blue eyes. "How can everything work out?" She whispered. "How is this not the end? I failed." Prue closed her eyes, in effect forcing more tears out. "I failed Piper and Phoebe. I didn't protect them, and now... now, I've caused the end of the Charmed Ones..."
"Prudence... that's not strictly true..."
"Mother!" Patty exclaimed. "Let's not have that talk right now! As if Prue hasn't got enough to deal with already..."
"What talk?" Prue questioned, wiping at her eyes, a useless attempt to rid of some of her tears. Seeing a knowing look pass between Patty and Penny, she asked again. "What talk? What aren't you telling me?"
Patty brushed her own tears away, feeling pain for her daughter. "Prue, we don't need to do this right now."
Prue's brow furrowed. "Do what right now?"
Patty looked away from Prue's ice-blue stare.
"Do what?"
The hand at her back pressed against her stronger, a sign of more support – but that wasn't what she wanted.
Prue stood up in a rush, turning to face him, but unable to bring herself to look at him. "I can't do this right now... this is unfair..."
He softly touched the side of her face with his hand. He gently forced her eyes to meet his, "I'm here to support you Prue, to help you through this."
She only looked into his blue eyes for a moment, but it was enough to make her knees buckle. It took the rest of her remaining strength to stay standing. She touched his arm, pulling his hand from her face, and with her eyes on the floor struggled to say, "unless you can get me back to the manor, then you can't help me."
"Prue," Patty begged. "Don't do this. We're here to help you."
Prue turned her back on the other three, trying to get to an end of her tears. "If you want to help, send me back to Piper and Phoebe". Her voice shook with emotion.
He stood close behind her, and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "We can't do that."
In anger at their ignorance of her wishes, Prue turned back round to face them, and through gritted teeth said, "don't you see? Piper and Phoebe need me there. They are vulnerable without the power of three – I can't leave them... I can't let them-". Prue choked on her words, letting out a whimper. "I have to be there with them".
He tried again, to reach out for her, but she grabbed his arm before he could. "Andy, don't." Saying his name aloud, affirming his presence, caused another wave of tears to form. "This isn't right." She couldn't bear to think about being in his presence again, not with everything else... not with her death.
This time, Grams stepped forward, and placing her own hand on Prue's arm she gently said, "this is exactly where you are supposed to be. I wish it wasn't so, Prue, believe me when I say this for all three of us, that none of us want this for you, but it was your destiny to die the way you did, at the time you did."
Prue locked her blue eyes on Grams, caught in a mix of emotions, which now, undoubtedly included utter confusion.