Konnichiwa, minna~
This is my very first fanfic.
I've been a fan of IchiRuki since the first time I watched the anime.
I'm not a native english speaker, so please forgive me for any grammatical errors or misspellings.
I'm looking forward to seeing your review.
Any constructive critics is accepted.
Thank you~
Disclaimer:
Bleach and all of its characters did not belong to me, unfortunately.
They belong to Kubo-Sensei.
The song in this fanfic is "Sen no Yoru wo Koete" by Aqua Timez which is used as soundtrack for Bleach 1st Movie - Memories of Nobody.
It is highly recommended to listen to the song while reading this.
After A Thousand Nights
Prologue
Rukia would never forget that fateful night—yes, the night when a hollow almost killed Kurosaki family and the night when she gave her power to Ichigo. She knew that since that night, everything wouldn't be the same again. Their fates were intertwined in an unexpected way. And that night was the beginning of everything.
Since their first meeting, she knew that Ichigo was different from other human. There was something inside of him that Rukia found interesting. After living with that orange-haired guy for quite some time, she got to know him better. The more she knew him, the more her interest grew. It was true that they argued a lot—sometimes Ichigo really got on her nerves—but most of the time, she felt safe and comfortable near him.
She didn't know when she began to have this strange feeling. Her heart would beat faster anytime their eyes met. And even though she called Ichigo a bother, she would miss him if he wasn't around. It got even worse when she was to be executed and Ichigo came to save her. She couldn't explain how happy she was at that moment. Although she had prepared herself to die in order to repent her sin, a part inside of her heart silently wished for Ichigo to come and save her. And he really did.
After living for nearly 150 years, this was the first time she ever felt this way toward someone. It wasn't just the feeling of gratitude—it was something much deeper. Poor Rukia, she didn't even know what this feeling was or what really happened to her.
The sky was almost dark when Ichigo, Rukia, Orihime, Chad, and Ishida walked together. Some hollows appeared earlier that afternoon and they had to fight them. Although the enemies were just low-rank hollows, their number was magnificent—enough to make the gang exhausted. Orihime and Chad was still wearing their school uniform, while Ichigo and Rukia had changed into Shinigami clothes and Ishida had changed into his Quincy clothes. Sweat was glistening on their tired faces.
The gang stopped at a certain crossroad. That was where they usually split up to go to their houses. Ichigo saw a bruise on Orihime's hand and spontaneously reached her hand. Orihime yelped a little.
"Does it hurt?" Ichigo asked as he examined the dark area on her skin.
"Just a bit, but it will heal in no time," said Orihime while blushing lightly.
Ichigo might not notice it, but it was impossible for Rukia not to notice the sudden change of Orihime's expression when the orange-haired guy touched her hand.
"Why didn't you tell us earlier? It must hurt a lot." Ichigo turned his face to look at the petite girl. "Rukia, can you go home first? I'll walk Inoue home."
Rukia was shocked, but Orihime cut her off before she could mutter a single word.
"Wh-what? No, you don't need to! I'm fine… I can go home by myself." Orihime tried to reject the offer, but her words didn't sound convincing enough for Ichigo.
"But look at your hand, you're wounded! What if a hollow suddenly appears on your way home? You won't be able to fight it," Ichigo resisted."I can't let a wounded girl walk alone at night. Don't be stubborn, Inoue!"
Yeah, he got a point there. Even so, Rukia wasn't too happy with that idea.
"I can walk her home instead." This time, the offer came from Ishida.
Ichigo looked at Ishida and Chad. "It's okay, guys. I bet you must be really exhausted from the fight we had earlier. Go home and rest well tonight! We still have class tomorrow, remember? I'll take care of Inoue."
After saying that, Ichigo and Orihime disappeared at the junction. Rukia was speechless for a moment.
"Rukia, are you sure it will be alright if we let you go home alone?" Chad asked in a caring tone.
His question made Rukia snap out of her thought. "Oh, yeah… Sure. Don't worry about me! Just go home and have a good rest. Today was really tiring, huh?" The raven-haired girl said with a forced smile on her face.
Ishida and Chad nodded and then they headed to a different direction from Ichigo and Orihime. There Rukia was, standing alone in the middle of the crossroad. Suddenly she felt so lonely. The sky was already dark and the moon above her head shone vaguely. Rukia took a deep sigh and walked slowly toward Ichigo's home. Her right leg was aching, but she ignored it.
On her way home, she couldn't help but thinking of Ichigo and Orihime. "That stupid strawberry! Why did he choose to walk Orihime home instead of going home with me?" Rukia cursed silently. "I know that Orihime is injured, but come on, that is only a small bruise! I bet it will heal in a few days. Did he do that because he thinks that a weak girl like Orihime needs his protection, while a strong girl like me doesn't? I am a Shinigami, indeed, and you can say that I am stronger than Orihime, but still…!" Rukia merely disappointed because Ichigo noticed Orihime's wound, but he didn't realize that Rukia's leg was injured, too. Not that the two other guys do.
Rukia remembered that Ichigo turned down Ishida's offer to walk Orihime home and how he insisted on going with her. His words were still echoing in her ears. Suddenly Rukia felt a sharp pain in her heart and it became harder for her to breath. She put her hand on her chest; wished to ease the pain, but that burning feeling wouldn't go away. Tears began to flow down on her cheek.
Her feeling at the moment was indescribable. Rukia didn't think that she would be able to go home and face Ichigo later like this. She had to calm herself first. Suddenly, Soul Society popped up into her mind. "Yeah, that's right… Soul Society is the right place to take a break from all these tiring days in human world," she thought. Rukia thought that she would feel better if she goes there. In one swift motion, Senkaimon was opened right before her eyes and she walked through the gate firmly.
"Yo, Rukia! What's up?"
Rukia was sitting alone under a tree when she saw Renji approaching her. "Oh, Renji… Long time no see."
"Yeah, it has been awhile. I didn't expect to see you here. Did something happen?" Renji took a seat beside Rukia.
"Nothing… I think I've spent too much time in the human world and need a short break," Rukia lay. "Beside, don't you miss me, Renji?" she added teasingly.
Renji blushed on her words. "O-of course I miss you! But seriously, Rukia, tell me what happened? I can tell from your face that something is bothering you… You don't look happy. What's wrong?"
Rukia bit her lower lip. Lying to Renji was totally a bad idea—she should have known that she would never be able to hide anything from her childhood friend.
Renji was getting impatient. "Is it because of Ichigo?" he guessed.
BINGO! But Rukia wouldn't admit it. She couldn't admit how she really felt toward Ichigo to Renji! Rukia's nonchalant expression made Renji even more curious.
"Stop hiding it from me, Rukia! I know that Ichigo is the reason. That stupid bastard…! What has he done this time?" Renji was getting angry. He wouldn't forgive that orange-haired strawberry if he hurts Rukia.
Renji kept waiting, but Rukia still wouldn't say a thing. Finally, he gave in. He stood up from the ground and held out his hand to Rukia. "Let's go for a walk! It will make you feel better, I promise."
"Where are we heading to?" asked Rukia. Curiosity was shown in her violet eyes.
"Just follow me."
Renji took Rukia out from Seireitei and headed toward Inuzuri, the Rukongai district where both Shinigami came from. It didn't take long time until they arrived at a small hill that they used to visit when they were younger. That hill was a memorable place for Rukia and Renji. That was where their friends' tombs were and the place where the two decided to become Shinigami.
"It has been a long time since we decided to become Shinigami, huh? A lot of things have happened…" Renji murmured in low voice.
"Yeah…" Rukia closed her eyes and let the memories from her childhood run in her head.
"You've become a really great Shinigami now," said Renji.
"Nah, don't say that! Look at yourself, Fukutaichou…!" Rukia teased back, referring to Renji's position as the vice-captain of her brother's division.
Renji chuckled. "Yeah… But you should have known that actually you're the reason behind that."
Rukia turned her head to the left to face Renji. "What do you mean?"
A red tint appeared on both of the guy's cheeks. Suddenly Renji felt the urge to hide, but his pride as a man wouldn't allow him. Instead, he coughed to clear his throat. "Well, you heard me, Rukia… I did that because I want to stay close to you. Kuchiki Taichou is the man I always look up to. When I heard that you're actually his sister-in-law, I couldn't help but feeling lonely. I can't live in peace, knowing that you were going to live with a total stranger and even worse, become a part of a well-known noble family. I felt like a wall has been built between us. If becoming the 6th Division vice-captain can break down that wall, even just a little, I will do it for sure."
Rukia was shocked. She never thought that Renji did that for her. She knew that Renji wasn't too happy with the idea of her moving in with the Kuchiki family, but she never expected that he would act that far… She felt grateful and confused at the same time.
Renji took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to admit it… But honestly, I love you, Rukia."
This time, Rukia was more than just surprised to hear Renji's sudden confession. Her eyes widened in shock. Her mouth flung open, but nothing escaped from her lips. There was a long, awkward silence between the two.
"…Renji," Rukia whispered. "To be honest, I don't know how to react to that. I mean, I'm very happy to hear that you love me… But I can't think of you as something more than just a friend. You're my best friend, Renji, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. You know what I mean, right?"
Renji sighed in defeat. He had prepared himself for this. "Yeah, I got it. Don't worry, Rukia! I just want to tell you my feeling since it has become harder to bear… I feel relieved because now, you already know my true feeling. It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same. Furthermore, I know that there is another man in your heart right now. Am I right?"
Rukia couldn't hide her embarrassment anymore. Why was Renji so good at reading her thoughts?
As if the pineapple-haired guy could hear her thoughts, he added, "Just go confess to him, Rukia! There is no need to hide your feeling. Let him know the truth."
"No, I can't!" Rukia yelled back. Angst was clearly shown on her face. "W-what if I get rejected? Seems like he's already in love with someone else… If that happens, I won't be able to face him for the rest of my life."
"We won't know unless we try, right? If that stupid strawberry really dares to reject you, I won't let him go away alive! I promise. So don't worry, okay?" Renji winked.
Somehow, his words gave courage to Rukia. Renji was right. There was no point in hiding her feeling any longer. She should tell him the truth, because love was something you should fight for, right?
The petite girl smiled back at her best friend. "Thank you, Renji. I am so lucky to have you as my best friend! I think I should get going now."
"Good luck, Rukia!"
"Yeah. Bye!" She flashed a smile before walking through the Senkaimon once again.
Her heart was fully determined. She had to find Ichigo and tell him her feeling. She didn't even care how would the confession turn out to be, but at least she had to try her best.
Meanwhile, in the human world, Ichigo had arrived in front of Orihime's apartment.
"Go inside and treat your injury! Make sure to get enough rest. Don't push yourself too hard from now on! Until your wound is completely healed, don't fight any hollows," Ichigo said with pure concern.
"Thank you, Kurosaki-kun… You've been showing too much kindness to me. I don't know how to return your favor."
"Nah, don't mention it! We are friends, right? It's getting late… I think I should go home right now or my noisy dad will scold me later. Bye, Inoue!"
"Wait!" Ichigo was about to walk away when suddenly Orihime hugged him from behind.
"W-what are you doing?" Ichigo ask nervously. He could feel Orihime's tight grips on his waist and her thumping heartbeat.
"K-Kurosaki-kun, I have something to tell you… I've been hiding this all this time, but I have to tell you now. Umm, actually, I… I like you!" Orihime buried her face behind Ichigo's back.
Ichigo was taken aback by the auburn-haired girl's words. He slowly removed Orihime's hands from his waist and turned around to face her, only to see Orihime's blushing face. "Don't hide your face… Look at my eyes, Inoue!"
Orihime lifted her head and set her eyes on Ichigo's brown ones. She felt so embarrassed and hot at the moment. She nervously waited for Ichigo's next word.
"Thank you for feeling that way toward me, Inoue. I'm glad to hear that, although I must admit that I was shocked at the first. You're a really nice girl and a really good friend, too! However, I already set my heart on another girl… I'm sorry," Ichigo said sadly.
Orihime was stunned for a moment, but then she nodded thoughtfully. "I understand, Kurosaki-kun. That lucky girl is Kuchiki-san, right? You don't need to answer me because I already know. Still, I'm happy because you think of me as your best friend. I have no regret at last. Thank you, Kurosaki-kun! And good luck with Kuchiki-san!"
Ichigo was about to call Orihime's name, but the girl had already disappeared behind the door. He sighed and decided to give the auburn-haired girl some private time. He thought that he understood how she was feeling at the moment. He felt bad for her, but on the other hand, he didn't regret his decision. Slowly, Ichigo walked in the dark, leaving Orihime's apartment to head to his house.
He felt bad for Rukia because he asked her to go home alone, even though he knew that her leg was injured. But he had no choice back then. He couldn't leave Orihime alone because she was the weakest among the gang. He didn't want to bother Ishida and Chad who were tired enough to walk Orihime home, so he decided to do it by himself. He was sure that Rukia would be fine. Yet, he couldn't stop worrying about her on his way to Orihime's apartment earlier. The only thing Ichigo wanted to do now is to reach home as soon as possible and see Rukia. He missed her so much. He wanted to apologize to her. He wanted to hear her voice—even scolding and yelling is fine.
"Damn! Since when did I start having this feeling toward her?" Ichigo mumbled as he quickened his pace.
The moon that was covered by dark clouds earlier was shining vividly now. Its soft golden ray was reflected on Ichigo's skin. Chilly wind blew strongly in the cold night of mid-fall, sending the shiver down his spine. The usual road to his home somehow became longer for Ichigo. Even so, he kept running to reach the place he longed for, to see the one he missed the most.
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me
I'm wandering aimlessly within this repetition
And the answer I found is only one; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love
Rukia was sitting on the edge of Ichigo's bed, waiting for the orange-haired guy to come home. Suddenly she heard the door in the downstairs was slammed open. Heavy footsteps were running on the stairs and slowly approaching her. In less than three minutes, the bedroom door was opened and there Ichigo was, standing while panting heavily.
"Why are you panting?" Rukia asked. "Did you run to here?"
"Yeah, sort of…" Ichigo took a deep breath and closed the door behind his back. He walked slowly to his bed and sat beside Rukia.
"Stupid! Why did you have to run all the way here? You're not even in hurry or something… Wait, did some hollows appear? But how come my phone didn't show any signal?" Rukia began to panic.
"Calm down, there's no hollow at all!" Ichigo reassured her.
"Then why did you run so hard, stupid?" Rukia was curious.
"It's because I want to see you, stupid!" Ichigo yelled back at her without thinking and regretted his action a few seconds later.
Rukia blushed on his words. Ichigo was sitting really close to her, their skin barely touching each other. Somehow she could feel his hot breath on her cheek because Ichigo was facing her way. There was a long silence in the room.
Ichigo sighed. "How is your leg? Let me see your wound…"
"What?" Rukia was shocked.
"Just because the wound is hidden behind your kimono doesn't mean that I don't notice it, Rukia! Come on, let me take a look at it… We should treat the wound before it gets worse." Ichigo kneeled in front of Rukia and then, without any permission, he reached out her leg and examined the wound. "This is bad… You were bleeding earlier, weren't you? Hold on a minute, I'll find the first aid kit."
A few minutes later, Ichigo came back with a first aid kit in his hand. He cleaned Rukia's injury with alcohol and earned a moan from the petite girl. Then he applied the medicine on her leg. Rukia stayed still while receiving treatment from Ichigo. The atmosphere was awkward and both of them didn't know what to say.
Ichigo could feel her chest pounding harder. The silent was killing him. He wondered why Rukia didn't say anything… "Is she angry with me? Well, she ought to be. I deserve it, after all. Maybe this time my mistake is worse than the past and she can't endure it anymore," he thought sadly.
Do you love me? Do you not love me?
As for things like that, it's fine either way
No matter how much I wish
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?
That's right, and simply the reality which says that I love you
Is the truth because it can't be changed by anybody.
The orange-haired guy decided to break the silence. "Rukia, I'm sorry for leaving you earlier… You must be very angry with me."
Rukia didn't expect an apology coming from Ichigo, so she just listened to him without saying a word.
"I know that maybe you don't care about what happened back then… But still, I don't want you to think badly of me. I want you to understand my situation. You know, Inoue is injured and I can't just leave her like that. She isn't as strong as you are, so that's why I decided to walk her home. I know that you are injured as well, and I'm also very worried about you. I won't say anything to defend myself any further. This is my fault. I'm not strong enough to protect you guys. I am so sorry for that."
Rukia could see that Ichigo was being sincere with his words. "It's okay, I completely understand. Don't blame yourself, Ichigo! This isn't just your burden to bear. From now on, let's fight harder and become stronger in order to protect the people we love… We're running on the same route. And don't forget that I am your companion! So, don't put the blame on yourself alone, okay?" Rukia said as she patted Ichigo's shoulder.
Rukia's warm smile was like a new energy for Ichigo. He could set his heart at ease every time he saw Rukia smiling like that. He swore to himself that he would do anything, even sacrificing his own life, in order to protect her smile. But Rukia's words didn't blow away Ichigo's guilt. He still felt bad for her. He knew that she was hurt and he was the one who caused it. He couldn't hide his feeling any longer. He had to tell her the truth—tell her how much he needs her and how much he loves her.
I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell you
There's something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me
I'm wandering aimlessly within this repetition
And the answer I found is only one; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love
Putting these feelings into words is such a scary thing
But I'll say "I love you" to the person I love
Suddenly, Ichigo grabbed Rukia's hand that was placed on his shoulder, causing the raven-haired girl gasped. He could feel that his heart was beating in an unsteady pace and his hand that held hers was trembling. Rukia was no different. Her heart was beating unusually fast, like a shinkansen, and her hand was shaking with anticipation of what might come next.
In this wide world, I can't express the joy of encountering you with words very well huh...
That's why we smile,
And sing do-re-mi in the autumn filled with vivid colors
With winter at our backs, waiting for the sunlight shining through the leaves in spring
To become born anew, in a way that we're able to protect someone
Ichigo licked his dry lips and began to speak nervously. "Rukia, I don't know whether if this is the right time to say this… But I can't hold it anymore. I have to tell you right away, or I won't be able to sleep well tonight.
"Even I often tease you and argue with you, the truth is, I really enjoy every single second we spend together… You've saved my life once and you've saved my family as well, but you know that that isn't the reason. Everything that has happened between us, our long journey, all the fights we had together against those hollows and even against the captains of Gotei 13… They bring me closer to you. When I was about to lose you, I couldn't help but feeling hurt, lonely, and empty. That was when I realized that I don't want to lose you, never.
"Maybe I don't treat you well enough all this time… All I've done is to hurt you, to watch you get injured right before my eyes. I'm sorry for my lack of strength. If only I was stronger, I would be able to protect you for sure… I promised you that I will train harder. I swear that I will try, at least, not to get on your nerves and treat you better just like what you deserve. I've been denying my feeling for a long time, and now it's the time to let you know. The truth is, I love you, Rukia…"
The end of Ichigo's confession sounded like a whisper to Rukia. She wasn't sure if this is a dream or the reality. Ichigo's voice seemed so distant. She couldn't believe what she had just heard.
When I turn back at the road I came from and the way ahead, I always had the eyes of a coward
I want to face you, but I can't be honest
As for the days I repeated not being able to straightforwardly love the other,
I hated being alone
The I of that day seemed to love in an uninjured way.
Tears began to flow down on Rukia's cheeks. She never felt this happy in her entire life. She always thought that her feeling toward Ichigo was an unrequited love, without realizing that actually it was a mutual love. She began to sob and replied, "I love you, too, Ichigo…"
Ichigo was more than ecstatic to hear her answer. He leaned forward to capture Rukia's face in his hands and place a soft kiss on her lips. She was his, and he was hers, forever.
I'll overcome the thousands of nights and head out to meet you right now
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me
I'm wandering aimlessly within this repetition
And the answer I found is only one; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love
Even if these feelings aren't returned, saying "I love you" to the person you love
That is the most beautiful thing in the world.