Nate-
I used to love the way your eyes sparkled as I looked at you.
Or when you laughed your laugh was infectuous and I couldn't help but smile. I loved that laugh it was real and perfect.
You were perfect in every way. It hurts me to know that I'm not. You tell me that you love me and that I am the only one you love.
But your eyes don't sparkle the same way, and your laugh is so plastic it's pathetic that no one cares. I wrote a song about our life, us together but you took that and shoved it down my throat. I wrote about how our love was strong and how we will always love each other.
I'm starting to wonder now what is wrong with us, where did we go wrong. I deal with this issue every day. I love you and we're still together and I know your pure for the ring on your finger insists to be so. But if I lost my lover to some one emotionally it's pathetic. But I'm okay with it.
Because one day you will wake up and we will be happy again. I know that your going through some tough times but I miss you. I want my old lover, Nate Grey. The Nate Grey I am married to. I want your monsters and demons to leave. The one that helped me live in this world. The Nate that saved me. The father of our kids.
Because I love you, that's my answer I love you. that's why I let you go, because I hope one day you will come back. Because I will always love you and your big brown eyes. I hope that you will love me the same. Because you my friend are my life. Nate don't disappoint me, I am letting you leave because I know this is tough time.
So when your man enough to love me back again, I'll be here. I'll come up with every excuse in the book to fend off that annoying Grey brother of yours.
Because I love you, and I know this new thing called fatherhood is hard but what is hard is waking up without you by my side. Telling me it's okay that we lost Mitchie and Shane the best friends in the whole world. I know these obstacles we've faces have made us stronger.
So I wait from a distance for your eyes to light up with happiness and your laugh to be infectuous. But I know now that I have to go, and then wait for you to come back and follow me. Because I love you Nate and I guess it's so overpowering it scares you.
So I wait for you Nate. My love, so goodbye for now,
I love you always
Caitlyn