The execution of the finale was a lot to handle and basically this was born. Picks up when Spencer went to London in 5.21 and 5.22, contains elements from both of those. Will probably weave canon in and out as I see fit. It's going to be a multichapter. The first few chapters are more heavy on the Spencer + Wrencer, but Alex will figure very heavily as it goes on.
I do plan on continuing my other PLL fics hat have been on hiatus since last year, but I need to edit them a bit first. So, in the meantime I'll be working on this.
Oh, I should mention this is kind of a dark fic. I'll be incorporating the dollhouse and all that jazz.
It's the worst possible time for Spencer to end up in London but she's there anyway. With no choice in the matter the way her mother simply handed her the ticket and told her she was leaving. As she stands right outside of Oxford, trying to get rid of her blood soaked bag in a panic, she thinks she would give anything to go back home. Not that it's really safe there, not from A , who seems to know everything and anything at all times. She's in London, near London, for God's sake. How can A possibly know where she is and what she's up to?
She doesn't want answers.
She does, in truth. She's just not sure if she wants the answer to that question. Maybe she just needs to accept the reality that they will never be free and this is their lives. From the start of junior year to the end of senior year. With all of them going off to college maybe it'll calm. A can't possibly follow them everywhere, can it?
The answer is yes and she knows it.
She calls Aria the first second she can but that conversation only manages to make her more worried than she was before. The text she receives from A doesn't do anything to help matters. She's distraught, trying not to look suspicious in the streets of London, but thinks it's not really working. With Mona dead and Alison pending trial for her murder it doesn't look like things are looking up for them at all. Quite the opposite.
The feeling of nausea comes over her in a wave and she does everything in her power to not lose it right there. It's a lot, just like everything else in her life is.
She boards the train ride back to London and she swears it's the longest ride of her life. She needs to get back to the flat, as Colin so kindly corrected her, and look through her things, desperate to find if there's anything else in her luggage. No way could A be there to fill her suitcase with blood and back in Rosewood to keep an eye on her friends. It only worries her further and she needs to just take a breath, one she's struggling to find, one that feels like it's going to dive into a full blown panic all too quickly. No, she needs to remain calm. There's no use for her to panic.
No panicking. Sounds good.
Her breathing evens as she manages to find herself catching the sight of Wren walking into a pub, without Melissa in sight. It's odd. Colin told her that they were out of town for some reason or the other. Something she didn't question too much but now seems super odd to her as the door closes behind him. She knows she can simply go home but her feet carry her until she's walking through the same door he was.
The minute her eyes register the scene in front of her she thinks she should have just went and looked through her luggage.
It doesn't seem this is what A wants her to find, the opposite. Unless Wren is A but she doesn't think that's the case, especially since he doesn't even know she's there for the minute she stands there unable to move.
The girl behind the bar looks exactly like her. Exactly . So much like her that Spencer swears she's going insane and it's just the anxiety that is filling every inch of her. Otherwise her logical brain suggests she has a twin but that is clearly not the case. Not that it's totally out of the realm of possibility since she's standing there looking at the spinning image of her, and the fact that Jason is now her brother since her father can't seem to keep it in his pants.
Which means one of two things she doesn't choose to think about.
Spencer is really tired of family secrets.
She swallows as she takes a step forward and the girl behind the bar is staring back at her. She softly hears Wren say, "what?" before turning around and seeing her standing there. Her eyes shift from her spitting image to him but she can't seem to care the way his face falls into something very Wren when he's feeling apologetic. He seems like a ghost to her now, keeping such a large secret, and making her feel like she's two seconds away from crying.
Another thing she's really tired of.
Her feet only manage to stop when she finds a seat right next to Wren and looking at the girl. She isn't speaking. None of them are. It's odd but she's still trying to register everything. Like the fact that she clearly has a twin sister she never knew before and someone who clearly isn't as shocked. She doesn't know what she is but Spencer is shocked...her twin is anything but.
"Vodka soda for her." Wren orders for her.
She can't smile even though it reminds her of that dinner they had with Melissa and her father. The night everything turned even more than it had the moment she met him and realized he was different. Different is true as she keeps her eyes glued on the girl as she makes the drink. She doesn't even know if she wants it but she might need it in order to start speaking.
The drink is set in front of her and she shifts down to it. There's only a moment before she's downing the whole thing unable to help herself and looking between her and Wren.
"Alex." She greets in the thick British accent.
"Oh, uh, Spencer ." She imagines she already knows that but says it anyway. " Hastings . I guess that's not really important."
"Are you alright, Spencer?"
There's disbelief that washes over her at the question. Her first instinct is to shove him off the bar stool and tell him to fuck off. She doesn't. She only turns back to him with a glare that is all Hastings, if she's even one. She doesn't know, not when Alex is right there in front of her being a secret identical twin. "Where is Melissa?"
"Visiting a friend in Scotland."
"So, Colin lied?" It doesn't seem that important but the amount of lies she can tolerate within twenty-four hours is hitting its limit.
"I asked him to." Wren slides his drink over to her, a mending if anyone's ever seen it.
Spencer finishes off his drink before slamming the glass down on the bartop. "A drink won't make me forgive you." She isn't shy about the wrath inside of her since he doesn't seem able to tell her the truth unless it benefits him. It's a harsh judgement but it's one that she doesn't vocalize so it doesn't seem to do real harm. "So, how do you two know each other?"
"Came in one day thinking I was you and we got to talking. Showed me your picture. Spitting bloody image."
"Right." Is all she can say and focuses on her phone. It feels rude but she can't help herself. There aren't any messages from anyone, which is something that is disappointing. She would love a distraction she isn't getting. "Sorry, I just, can't do this right now. It's nice to meet you, really. Identical twin, wow . I just...process. You know…" She's panicking again but not bothering to hide it. It's something worthy to send her over the edge and she's taking it.
"Spencer," Wren calls for her, reaches out to grab her arm, "wait."
To which she yanks it back. "Don't touch me, Wren. This is something I expect from Melissa but not you."
"Melissa doesn't know."
"Well, I guess it's nice to know your profession is just picking the newest sister you meet and putting her above everyone." Her words come out in a snarl and she storms out of the pub. When he doesn't follow her she's grateful. She'll have to face Wren again. She's sleeping down the hall from him but maybe by then she'll actually process something, anything.
She thinks about calling Aria to tell her but thinks better of it. She needs a few more answers before she travels down sharing the information. When a text from A doesn't come she's almost just as surprised. She thinks that A would love to hold this over her head, if it even knows. Knows everything but maybe this one slips through the cracks. Or she's getting the texts, too. She is her identical twin. When it comes to stalking the visual is likely a distracting factor.
By the time she makes it upstairs all she can think about is the blood. Somehow that ends up being a better distraction than she anticipated. She's shuffling through everything as fast as she can, searching for the blood and hoping that there is nothing there. praying, almost, and she cannot remember the last time she went to church when someone hasn't died. Which is more often than one would think since it seems everyone dies in Rosewood.
Colin interrupts her and all she can do is ask him if she can use his laptop to change her flight. She really needs to go home. The only thing that is on her mind. The whole twin sister debacle with Alex is too much for her and the blood is another layer. She needs to go back to Rosewood just so she can...she doesn't really know what exactly. Something better than sitting there in a country where things are only becoming more of a mess.
She shuffles through things as she tries desperately to make sense of it all. Why didn't Wren just tell her? It would be so much simpler if Wren just told her. Why didn't he tell her?
She snaps at Colin for doing nothing but trying to help her. Even goes as far as actually humoring him with his little exercise to calm her down. She doesn't have the heart to tell him that when her eyes close all she can see is blood, Alex, and Wren. She breathes like he tells her to but it doesn't do much. She doesn't think it will ever and she needs to fix her problems before the anxiety goes away. Only that has been her life for years now and the idea of it going away doesn't seem to exist much.
He offers to make her something to eat and she takes it. If only because she isn't going to get out of there and go home. Spencer isn't stupid enough to suddenly believe everything is going to work in her favor out of the blue.
It never does.
"You're not listening to me, Mom." Spencer gets more and more irritated as the conversation goes on with her mother, unable to help herself.
"I am listening. You are staying in London whether you like it or not." Veronica's tone is definitive.
Spencer knows she's lost. "I don't like it."
"Prep for your interview at St. Andrews."
"Yeah." Is all she says before hanging up and throwing the phone on the bed with a frustrated sigh.
She cares about both Oxford and St. Andrews, more than she is letting on. It's just that with everything going on it all seems far too difficult to focus on college. If A follows her around how is she supposed to get through her courses? She isn't. That's probably the main objective.
Her phone is left behind as she walks out in the living room to see Colin fixing dinner. He's nice and she can see why Wren and Melissa like him enough to live with him. She's only known him the few hours she's spent in his company but he teaches kids, how bad can he be? It dawns on her that she might have once thought about Ezra in the same way since he was her English teacher for a while, but that took something of a dark turn.
Hopefully Colin isn't making messes with one of his students.
"Talk to your mum?" He asks just as he grabs two plates out of the cupboard.
"Uh, yeah." She takes a seat and clasps her hands in front of her. It's like she wants to say everything but nothing all at the same time. Not as if she can actually divulge any of her secrets but moments find her where she just wishes she could spill everything. Just to someone who has no preconceived notions of her. "Looks like I'm staying."
"I'd be lying if I said I was disappointed."
It earns him a smile. A smile that no one else has earned in far too long. Toby isn't even speaking to her for reasons unknown and she's not as broken up about it as she should be. Yes, she loves him but their relationship has been steadily falling south when she found out that he was working on the A team. It's hypocritical given she joined for her own reasons. He is always doing his best to try and protect her only it never manages to protect her. It only manages to make things fall apart just as they did a million times before.
She's not destined to be happy.
"You teach primary school?" She asks as he sits down once the food is in front of them.
"Yeah," he nods, "Twenty three kids who do occasionally eat crayons and meltdown."
"That sounds…" she trails off when she finds there is not really a polite word for it. She's never envisioned herself teaching, especially small children.
"You never mentioned what you were interested in at Oxford."
"History or Law. I don't know." It happens to be the most honest statement she's given in quite a while. "My parents are both lawyers."
"Big shoes to fill."
Before she can think to reply the door opens and she sees Wren walking through it. Her gaze drops to her plate. She's not hungry but she eats simply so she doesn't need to speak. He's the last person she wants to talk to but doesn't want Colin to pick up on anything weird going on between them. After all, as far as she is concerned Wren and Melissa are supposed to be out of town with Wren's boss. Not Melissa elsewhere while Wren walks in and looks between the two of them.
"I tried calling but you weren't answering." Wren speaks as he joins them at the table.
Spencer looks up at him and knows her face says something it shouldn't by the way Colin gives Wren a look. "I left my phone in the bedroom and Colin made us something to eat."
"There's more if you're hungry." Colin offers Wren.
"Thanks," he says almost absently but keeps his gaze on Spencer.
When she doesn't speak he gets up and grabs himself something to eat and rejoins them. Spencer decides it's the most awkward dinner she's ever been a part of, which is saying a lot since everything with her family is awkward. She's the only Hastings sitting there, by some miracle. Knowing her luck Melissa will walk through any moment and wonder what is going on with her and Wren. She is glad, however, that Colin hasn't seemed to ask.
Instead he's making polite conversation with Wren about something she's not concerned with. They were friends, that much was obvious. She just pushes the food around her plate and tries not to think of everything that is going on, which is impossible. She excuses herself the moment she can and disappears back to the bedroom, letting out a breath as she sits down on the edge of the bed.
Her phone is full of missed calls from Wren and not much else. Her mother emailed her the details of her flight and Spencer wishes she can change it. She can , technically. Only her mother ends up changing it right back so it's not really worth much effort at all.
It takes forty two minutes before there's a knock on the bedroom door. There's no surprise when it's Wren on the other side.
"I'd ask if you wanted to come in but it's your place, not mine." She says as she leaves the door open and walks over to the bed.
"I won't come in if you don't want me to."
"It's fine." She lies with ease. Definitely used to it.
Wren walks through the door and closes it behind him, stopping in front of her. He's contained and sheepish, almost. "How did your interview at Oxford go?"
She looks up at him for a moment and wonders what to say. It's not as if she can tell him that there was blood in her bag, she admitted to as such, and then left without saying a word. She thinks they probably hate her now and she's on some reject list that must exist. "Your favor went to waste."
"It couldn't have been that bad."
"Do you care?" She bites at him as she scrolls through her phone looking for anything that can occupy her over looking at him.
"Of course I care." He sighs softly, leaning against the dresser, arms folded. "I didn't do just because Veronica reminded me of all the ill grievances I have caused your family. I want good things for you."
She scoffs, unable to help herself. When she looks up at him her eyes are narrowed and there's a feeling in her that makes her so mad at him she can't remember the last time she was so angry . For all of the emotions that overwhelm her that isn't one that is around all too often. Usually it's fear and anxiety. "You didn't tell me about my twin sister . If you cared you would have told me."
"It's complicated."
"It's really not."
"She asked me not to." It's a piss poor excuse but he tries it anyway.
"Right now I understand why my parents hate you." She understands on the most basic levels all the other days but right now, she sympathizes on a personal level. "You meet her and suddenly it's her above me? I know I sound like some entitled teenager but you owed me at least that much, Wren. Five minutes matters more than whatever we were."
"And what were we?"
"I don't know." She shrugs and her anger dissipates just enough that she can look at him without wishing the dresser falls on him. "It doesn't matter. You're with Melissa. I'm with Toby. We're friends, right? I thought we were. We're not if you didn't tell me."
" Spencer , please ―" When she doesn't reply he finds a seat next to her on the bed. "You don't know the whole story. I didn't keep the secret to hurt you."
"Then tell me the story."
"I thought she was you but she told me her name was Alex. We got to talking, I showed her a picture of you, and I don't have a good explanation for why I didn't tell you. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't want to ruin more things for you."
None of what he says actually manages to make her feel better. She's not really sure what she feels but she's holding herself together rather well. She won't let Wren make her cry. "Why didn't you tell Melissa?"
"It's not like that."
"I don't know if I believe you."
"Hey," his touch is gentle against her chin as he turns her to look at him, "it's not . I know I make bloody messes of things with your family. You and Melissa have about as much reason to trust me as your parents do, but I'm very aware she's not you. It's clear after five minutes. I felt something for you for more than just your looks."
Spencer gently grips her hand around his wrist. They shouldn't be so close. She shouldn't allow him to keep his hand so she's looking at him. "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're sorry." She barely manages to whisper the words out. "Like you care. Like you're... you ."
"I am all of those things."
"Why did you get back with Melissa?"
"It just happened." It's more of a non answer than anything else. "After Ian, the baby, and everything with you. I was moving back to London and it just...fell into place." He pauses for a brief moment. "I see you made amends with the carpenter."
"He's a cop now." But she knows his profession doesn't mean much in the context of their conversation. "We're not really...speaking. He doesn't even know I'm here." He'll hate her, that's for certain. Not for going to London, not even for staying with her sister and her boyfriend who obviously lives with her. Just for the way she's so close to him she can feel his breath, the way her hand grips around his and she's not bothering to let go. It can't be comfortable holding her there, just as her arms burns a little for holding his wrist, but the alternative is no connection at all. She doesn't want to be further away from him. For all of that Toby will most definitely hate her, for it being Wren , for everything that is running through her mind makes her the world's worst girlfriend and sister.
"I'm sorry." The words are simple as he brushes his fingers along her cheek. "For everything, Spencer. I hope you believe that."
"You know what they say about hope ―"
"It breeds eternal misery. I remember."
"I don't forgive you." Her hand drops then just as she seems to find some sense. She might forgive him in time, she should, she'll work on it. It's all she can offer, not that she says anything aloud. Not when she doesn't want to give him that hope that things will be what they once were. Whatever they were. "You should go before Colin gets suspicious."
Wren lets out a sigh but nods. "Goodnight, Spencer."
Wren is gone by the time Spencer wakes up to which she thinks that is the best. If she can avoid him until she goes back to Rosewood then she can pretend that none of this ever happened. Not that she's entirely sure what to do about Alex. She can't ignore her. They are sisters and she remembers how many times she pushed Jason to get as many answers as she could. That didn't always go all that well, however. They would end up fighting more often than not. She is curious about what she's like and everything else. She has more questions than answers.
Her need to go home ends up overriding all of that, however. So much so she's ignoring the phone call she had with her mother the previous day and using Colin's laptop to change her flight all over again. She just needs to get out of London before everything becomes more of a mess than it already is.
When Melissa walks in she can barely manage to look her in the eye. Technically, the thinnest technicality that manages to exist, she didn't do anything wrong with Wren. They were too close and it was too much, but neither crossed any line. Thin, she knows. But the last thing she needs is Melissa mad at her and her parents deciding they are never going to speak to her again. She's on thin ice with them, that much is obvious. She definitely seems like something of a problem child with all the trouble she's been getting into lately. They may have a rocky relationship, while lying about her having yet another sibling, but she doesn't wish for them to hate her more than they likely already do.
It doesn't take long for her sister to realize that something is wrong. She focuses on her friends and Toby when she asks. Nothing she says is a lie. There is a lot going on with her friends in ways she can't simply explain to Melissa and she isn't talking to Toby. She wants to talk to Toby instead of being in some limbo where she doesn't know what is going on. She wonders if he even realizes that she's not around.
Probably not.
He doesn't seem to notice much about her anymore. It's the job, she knows, but that doesn't make her feel much better about it.
She decides to stay if nothing but the interview at St. Andrews. She knows that it's an opportunity she doesn't want to pass up so she doesn't. Instead just shuts the laptop and doesn't miss the way Melissa smiles. A victory for Melissa and a loss for Spencer. She makes a mental note to at least attempt to see Alex while she's there. They are sisters. It's still weird to think...that she has an identical twin running around out there in the world and no one managed to tell her. Only finds out by happenstance.
Spencer drags her stuff back to the room she's staying in so she at least looks decent when she goes on the interview. Toby nags at her until she's sitting on the bed calling him. She can at least tell him she's there. Only he doesn't answer his phone and she thinks this is their new normal. She'll call and he won't answer. Even with the time difference she knows he should be awake. It's odd that being a cop doesn't make things better for them.
It makes things worse.
She calls Aria next thinking she should at least let her know some of what is going on and get an update as to what is happening in Rosewood. After the incident with Cyrus she worries that things are only going to slide further downhill. Knowing her luck there will be blood when she goes to St. Andrews, too. What kind of blood is anyone's guess. It's not like she has a lab on hand where she can secretly test it.
"Spencer, hey!" Aria answers.
It's good to hear a familiar voice. "How are things?"
"Alison is considering taking the plea."
"What? She can't do that." It's a new host of problems and only ignites her desire to go home. She needs to talk to Alison or at least talk to Jason who can talk to Alison. She doesn't really know but then her interview…
"I wasn't going to tell you but maybe you can call Jason? He's not listening to me."
"Uh, yeah." Spencer doesn't think she'll do much better but she can try. "I'll give Jason a call."
"Thanks, Spence. Listen I gotta take this history test. Good luck on your interview."
"Good luck." She lets out a shaky breath when Aria hangs up and hopes that Alison doesn't take the plea deal. Jason doesn't answer when she calls and she's not surprised. She'll try again later but she can't say things have been all that good between that he'll answer. If he does it's probably only to tell her to stop calling. She doesn't even blame him.
When she looks up she manages to see Colin in the doorway. He invites her to go to see Hamlet and she can't even pretend to contain her excitement. She needs to prepare for her interview but it's an opportunity she knows won't fall into her lap again. Plus, she can use the distraction and Colin is nice enough that spending an evening with him is something she genuinely looks forward to.
It's hours before Colin said they would leave. He goes out to do something and Spencer has no desire to just sit on the couch until seven when she's in London. She changes into the dress Melissa loans her just in case she doesn't make it back to actually get ready. She knows herself well enough to know that she'll probably get distracted.
Wren calls her but she ignores him.
Not that it works. She's entirely certain he's stalking her when he ends up next to her when she's waiting in line for coffee. Also, it's entirely possible that he happens to work across the street. It's neither here nor there.
"What do you want?"
Wren leans in, whispering, "We should talk."
"I'm tired of talking." To him, at least. She wants to talk to her friends to figure out what is going on. She wants to talk to Jason so he can hopefully talk Alison out of the plea deal. Wren makes her head nothing but fog and she doesn't need to deal with that. She feels like her skin is burning when he eyes her and she thinks she should have just worn her interview clothes as to not draw attention to herself.
"Are you wearing Melissa's dress?"
The mental images are nothing she wants to entertain. It took seconds for him to recognize it. "She let me borrow it. I'm going out with Colin tonight."
" Oh ." The shock is clear, his eyes pulling from her and looking straight ahead in line.
"You don't like him?"
"I do."
"Good." She smiles in an ultra fake way but the Alex revelation makes her want to get under his skin. It's childish but she doesn't care. "Thanks," she manages when he pays for her coffee, no matter how she told him it was unnecessary.
"I didn't you two were…"
"We're not." Colin is nice. That's as simple as it gets. She loves Shakespeare and to see Hamlet like that...well, she wouldn't pass up the opportunity if it was Melissa offering to take her. Something odd since she can't remember the last time they did something together. Probably that time their dad took them to D.C. but even then he had to play referee with them the whole time. "Thanks for the coffee, Wren."
Her back hits the wall and she lets out a giggle, unable to help herself, unable to be quiet. He shushes her but it doesn't work. Instead she tugs him closer and kisses him. Colin and her had a good night, so good that she doesn't mind the way he's kissing her, or the way her dress is riding up. It feels like fire, something she desperately needs . She's definitely had something to drink but not enough that she isn't entirely aware of what she's doing. She's being a terrible person but finds it hard to care.
It's as if everything that keeps happening only breaks her a little more.
His hands are on her body and she feels good. It's nice to just feel wanted. That's where it all came from. Someone wanting her when her own boyfriend doesn't seem to care, more interested in his work. She stops thinking about Toby when the soft moan slips past her lips as she lips move along her neck, pushing her further into the wall.
"Oh, sorry." Wren voice rings down the hallway.
Colin pulls away from her almost instantly while Spencer fixes her dress. She doesn't have much heart to look between the two men. She's not really sure what she feels. All she can know for certain is that her body is buzzing from everything. So much so she really should just go to bed.
"I'm going to go to bed." She breaks the silence. "Goodnight, Colin. Thank you for tonight."
She doesn't bother to say goodnight to Wren and shuts the door behind her. She's the poster child for bad judgement. Should find a way to pull herself together but she's in some kind of spiral she can't really seem to control anymore. She just doesn't know.
Before she can actually find herself in bed she gets a call from Emily.
"They arrested Hanna." Is all Emily says before Spencer can greet her.
Her mind is too cloudy to be able to process that. "What? How?" She thinks she has problems with Colin and Wren but back home it's so much more of a mess. It's way worse in Rosewood.
"They think she was involved in Mona's murder. You have to come home."
"Yeah, okay. I'll see if I can catch a flight."
She sneaks out of her room and hopes that everyone went to bed. Luckily for her that seems to be true as she books herself a new flight for the morning. It's the earliest one she can get and that's probably for the best when she's kind of a mess. She doesn't need them to ask more questions than she has answers for when she already had the blood incident.
Her plan falls apart when she can't find her passport the next morning. She manages to shower and gather her things but her passport is just as if got up and walked away. Melissa . It's the only person she can think of. Either that or Wren but she would place more money on her sister. She's been way too nice. The idea of them ever being close is something she can't deal with.
Melissa proves her right when everything ends up out in the open and she learns that her mother only wanted her there in case Alison named her as an accomplice in a murder she didn't commit. The interview is nothing but a ruse, to which she doesn't understand how no one was going to clue her in on that one. Wren might be trying his hardest to get her one, but that doesn't mean neither of them would be able to keep the secret.
"I just want my passport." She crosses her arms and looks between the two of them.
"I'm not giving it to you." Melissa states in her usual defiant tone. "Look, mom knows what she is doing. We're trying to keep you safe. If Hanna is arrested and Alison is already there there's nothing you can do. They'll just arrest you next."
"Then they will just arrest me. I've been arrested before. Remember?"
"Spencer, they're just trying to help." Wren interjects.
"You can't think this is a good idea." She snaps at Wren. "Give me my passport and I can leave."
"No." Melissa stands her ground. "I'm not telling you where it is and neither is Wren."
Spencer can't believe this. She really can't. It's not like being stuck in the UK was going to help her out if she was going to get arrested. At that point it seems more likely than not. Her life is a true mess. "Can I at least go outside or do you want to lock me in the spare bedroom?"
Melissa smiles in a victory. "You can go."
She only ends up glaring at the both of them before she grabs her back and all but storms out of the flat.
The fresh air of London does nothing to make her feel better. She sends a text to Emily that she's stuck in London until further notice but they can call her if they need anything. She doesn't think that they exactly will need her seeing there's nothing she can actually do thanks to Wren and Melissa. The perfect duo.
Her annoyance at them is enough for her to go and see Alex. It's early and she's actually kind of surprised she's there or that the place is even open. If she hadn't been there she would have had to break down and ask Wren where she lives. He likely knows. He seems to be enjoying telling her absolutely nothing.
When she sits down there's already a vodka soda waiting for her.
"It's what he drinks." Alex comments with a shrug.
"Yeah." She's not really in the mood to talk about Wren even if he's the only connection they have. Other than the fact that they look exactly like. Only Spencer is dressed like she's going to be going to prep school any minute with her hair down. Alex has more black eyeliner on than Spencer has probably ever used and her clothes are something Alison would make fun of her mercilessly for. She thinks it's probably better she never met her.
"He cares about." She breaks the silence as she wipes the bartop down.
Spencer doesn't help the way she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Right." The drink is gone almost as soon as it was set there. "Hard to believe when he didn't tell me about you."
"Cece hates you. Says you're awful. All the Hastings are."
She's not the least bit surprised when someone hates her family. It's more likely someone does than doesn't. "What do you think?"
"I think you're in your own little rich world with little care for others."
"It's complicated." She doesn't really blame Alex for her opinion given the way she's been acting. "I'm sorry about the other. My one friend is prison for murder and my other friend got arrested for being involved in that murder. Wren didn't tell me about you and...you'd think I'd be used to the sibling thing but I'm not."
"More about you? Besides Melissa?"
Spencer nods as she grabs her phone and moves to a picture of Jason. "Jason. My dad... our dad," she corrects herself, "had an affair."
She hands the phone back. "So, did ya actually murder someone?"
"No." Not Mona, at least. Her whole summer is still a little hazy. Even with Melissa's admission that she was the one who buried Bethany...it's all a little fuzzy. "It's complicated."
It's awkward the longer they talk. There's nothing that clicks instantly other than a weird feeling she's staring at a mirror image of herself, which she is, really. The silences are long but she shares her life. Spencer feels bad instantly that she got the better hand in this. No one should treat Alex the way she was treated.
She leaves out a lot of her own details. She doesn't have the heart to tell her about her Radley stint or the pill addiction. She tells her about Melissa and their never ending feud, tells her about how Ian tried to kill her, and how she was arrested for murder before. Clues her in on the story of Wren that she's sure gets judgement and even tells her the night before with Colin. She's leaving out so many secrets and it feels wrong given they are twins. She's always heard of bonds but having her there...she just doesn't understand.
"This is Toby." She shows her a picture. "He's kind of my boyfriend. We're not really speaking."
"Relationship drama?"
"Boring." Spencer shrugs and Alex doesn't seem to care much about her boy problems anyway. "You don't like me much, do you? It's okay Jason hates me, too, and Melissa." It sounds rather sad when she puts it that way.
"No, I just...thought you'd be different."
She doesn't know what that means nor does she ask. Instead she sips the second drink placed in front of her and rolls her eyes the very moment Wren takes a seat next to her. She really doesn't want to talk to him.
"I got you an interview at St. Andrews."
"Joy." She's sarcastic and cares little. "Maybe I should just move into the spare bedroom and you can keep an eye on me all the time. Or was the eyeful with Colin last night not enough."
"See," Alex beamed, "now this is the sister I wanted. Snarky, sarcastic, some kind of personality. Not the boring prep school girl. You look like a primary school teacher. Take your jumper off."
"What?"
"Off, off." Alex leaned across the bar and did it for her. "That's better."
Spencer feels kind of exposed in just wearing her random tank top she didn't think anyone would see. It's one of her favorites so it's not that cute but Alex is fun. That's the major difference between the two. Alex is fun whereas Spencer is uptight. The Hastings way. "Bathroom?"
"To the left. Can't miss it."
Spencer walks to the empty bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror. She stares, unable to help herself, looking and wondering. She almost doesn't even really know who she is anymore. Having a twin sent her on edge, one who is so overy different than her. If Alex is a product of London and Spencer is a product of Rosewood who are they really? She doesn't clash with her much, but she clashes with Jason and Melissa. Alex probably would, too, and that only manages to make her feel better. Maybe they were just destined to be the odd ones out. So odd that they don't even fit together.
She grabs her hair in her hand and messes it to mirror Alex's but that doesn't feel right with her bare face. She managed to put some mascara on that morning but nothing else. Just her looking in the mirror as she did every morning when she got out of the shower. Wren's seen her worse though, during her breakdown, so she thinks Alex gets a better vision.
She lets her hair go when the door opens and she moves to walk to a stall but sees it's Wren. Of course, it's Wren. She can't remember ever seeing that much of him in Rosewood but in London, a much larger city, he basically lives two feet from her at all times.
"How long have you know about Alex?" She asks instead of asking why he's there. She knows why.
"Four months."
"And you never called?" It was so...Wren, in a way. He's not really the guy she should put any time into but there he is. She's always managing to put time into him. "You're such a...prick."
"You're drunk."
"And you're a liar." She snarls. " Twin sister , Wren. My parents might not even be my parents. I ruined my interview with Oxford. You're jealous over Colin while sleeping with my sister who might not even be my sister for all I know."
"Spencer, it's not like that."
"It is." She shakes her head, trying to hold back the tears. "I'm so mad at you I can't stand it. I want to go home before all my friends end up in jail for murders we didn't commit.'
When he steps forward she steps back so he only remains in his spot. "This was all for your own protection."
"What protection? My life is such a mess I ended up in Radley and right now I'm thinking about all the pills I don't have. At least when I was speeding I felt better. Not like everything was going to fall apart."
"Drugs aren't the answer."
"Neither is sleeping through every sister in a family."
When she walks past Wren he lets her go and she knows she's pushing him too far based on her own issues.
"Wren is going with you to St. Andrews." Melissa informs as she stands in the kitchen going through the mail.
Spencer spent most of her day just roaming around London to see the things she didn't really get to see. She had a brief phone call with Emily who understood it wasn't her choice to stay in London and she would tell everyone else. She called Jason one more time but he again, didn't answer. She's useless while trapped in London but there's nothing much she can do so looking around seemed to be the only thing that clears her mind.
While not clearing it at all.
She spent much of her time trying to understand the Cece, Wren, and Alex connection. Only to find herself at the conclusion that Wren knows people she doesn't in ways that she doesn't. She might know Cece and he might know Cece from the visitor passes, but what that extended beyond Radley is a mystery to her. She does wonder what Melissa has to say about his activities but she doesn't tell her. Their no secrets pact only lasted a few hours. Not that it matters all that much since Spencer left out what happened between her and Wren in the bedroom.
Not that there's anything to tell. Not really. Conversation that was all too close but nothing that crossed any sort of line.
Still.
She wonders why she bothers to protect him in any way when he's done her absolutely no favors. Perhaps it's that he makes her head spin when she's around him or the fact he's the only one who knows she has a twin sister. Other than Cece who she hasn't spoken to since... forever . They are not exactly friends. Alison used to say secrets were what kept them close. Sometimes she doesn't believe it but as she shrugs off her jacket she does believe it.
"Why?" Is all she asks, trying to sound as non suspicious as she can.
"I have to work and Wren doesn't. Mom doesn't really think it's a good idea for you to travel so far by yourself."
She has to roll her eyes at that one. "Like from Rosewood to London."
"It's different, Spencer." Melissa walks past her. "I know you don't like being stuck here but Oxford and St. Andrews are both good schools, and Wren did you a favor by setting up the interviews. You really should thank him."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be grateful next time I'm held hostage in London."
"We're protecting you."
She's a broken record at that point. Spencer is so sick of being protected all of the time. A is the one thing that she really is afraid of but none of them know enough to know anything about that or what she actually needs protecting from. She might actually be safer in jail, which is really saying something. At least there the sound of her getting a text on her phone wouldn't send her over the edge, she wouldn't even have a phone to do that.
A would likely find some way to torture her.
As she stands in the middle of the train station with her bag over her shoulder and waiting for Wren she finds herself far more bitter than she was before. She woke up with her dreams focused on everything that happened in a way that only makes her angrier for not being let in on anything. What's new? In reality, her anger should be towards her parents and probably Melissa, but she's not ready to inform them she knows. She wants to look her parents in the eye and ask them without them being able to hang up on her. If she lets Melissa in on it she'll simply warn her parents.
So Wren gets the bulk of it.
So much so she's checked her watch a million times over and is impatiently tapping her foot as she waits for him. They need to leave soon otherwise they'll have to take the next train. Not that it's a big deal but the sooner she gets to St. Andrews the sooner she can sleep and have her interview the next day. That's the plan.
With Wren along for the whole ride.
"I'm sorry." Wren apologizes for the fifth hundredth time as he stops next to her. "I forgot my wallet. I had to go back."
"You could have called if you weren't fawning over my look alike."
"Enough, Spencer." His tone is as serious as she's ever heard it.
"Finally fall for the right sister?" It's childish, that much she'll admit. He doesn't quite look at her and Alex the same way, but she's found out since being in London that there is so much to him she doesn't know. Fair enough in most respects since she only knew him a week at most when he was still Melissa's fiance, but then as the months ticked on she thought the times she got to see him things would be different. Naive, in most respects.
"I wouldn't know. She's being a bitch right now."
At first Spencer checks that she's actually speaking to Wren still. "Finally broke the posh Londoner." She mocks him in an accent, turning to him with something of a smirk. "You know you're a walking cliche. London. Oxford. Posh. Dressed like you're going to work. Bad choice of tie."
"Says Spencer Hastings."
"I thought you liked that." Her smirk turns into something of a smile. "Melissa is as uptight as they get. Mixed match colors in her closet doesn't change much."
"London has freed her up a bit."
That has to be nice, is all she can think. She can admit Melissa does seem like she has less problems than Spencer does. Of course, Melissa isn't being stalked by A and she's free of her secret. It really must do someone well. They board the train and she takes a seat next to Wren, holding her phone in her lap.
It's been too quiet since she found her way to London. She half expects a call from Caleb that everyone has been arrested and she's the one next on the list. Caleb because she's entirely certain all of Rosewood will burn down before Toby ends up calling her. It doesn't matter much anyway. Jail is jail.
"You can't be mad at me." Spencer breaks the silence after an hour. He doesn't reply and she looks over at him. "You hid my sister for four months and I'm only five months out of rehab. Radley and rehab. What a catch. I doubt Alex is crazy."
"You're not crazy."
She wants to believe him but she doesn't. It's hard to believe him when she knows she lost a part of herself when she was in Radley. There's a part of her that is never coming out. Even her own mother is concerned about what that will look like on her resume. Her father wants to shut it down. It's something that haunts her. She's not like Melissa or everyone else. Even through all the trauma her friends went through they never fell so hard. She is crazy. Take a seat right next to Mona, if she was still alive at least. "I'm sure that's what my file says. Spencer Hastings: Not crazy, not sure why she's here."
"My father spent most of his life in one of those places." Wren admits quietly, looking out the window over looking at her. "In a perfect world those places don't exist and we're all able to function swimmingly. Only the world isn't perfect, we're not perfect. I am not, nor are you. Being in Radley and struggling with pills does not make you crazy, Spencer." He turns to her. "Sometimes some people need a little more help than others."
"I'm sorry." She's genuine as she looks over at him. It's something she didn't know and something she feels for. There's no denying she has issues and sometimes she can see too much into Mona's mindset. It doesn't change what she did or how mean Spencer can be about it, but she gets it. "About your dad, about my attitude, about a lot. I feel so... lost lately." Alex only seems to confuse her further but she's just a mess that is hard to put together. She's falling apart over and over.
"I should have told you." Wren pauses, swallowing. "I have to tell you something else. Veronica is not your mum...your birth mum, at least."
" What ?"
"Mary Drake is."
Spencer doesn't have much energy to be mad anymore so she just sinks further into her seat and looks away from him. Mary Drake. A name she's never heard in her life and means little to her. She just sighs. "Would you have ever told me if I didn't come to London?"
The silence tells her everything.
"How do you see me?" She demands, turning back to him with the infamous Hastings glare. "Am I just too fragile to be told things? Or are you really into Alex that whatever this is is just me being played. You're not even telling Melissa, which she probably already knows. It's Melissa . Do you have any more secrets? We're stuck on this train just spit it out."
"I was trying to protect you. Just like Melissa is."
"From what? A sibling ? News flash Wren I've been dealing with the sister from Hell longer than you've known either of us."
"It's more complicated than you know."
Spencer closes her eyes and decides she's just done talking about it. She cares but it's just so much is piling on top of her that it's inching towards becoming too much. So much that it seems unfair. It is unfair. Her sister, her mother, her not mother. She doesn't know. She wonders if her father is even her father but doesn't ask. It's a question she's not ready to know the answer to. There's A and knowing Mona is dead. Alison and Hanna are in prison and everything is just...she swears she's about to have a panic attack and does her best to just breathe. She needs to just... breathe .
When trying to breathe turns into her falling asleep she's not sure. Her eyes open a few minutes before the train stops with her head on Wren's shoulder while he reads through a few patient files. She shouldn't read along the parts she can see but she does anyway, unable to help herself.
"At least that person has real problems."
"You're awake." Wren says, turning his head just enough so he can glance at her, closing the file in the process.
"Yeah," she sits up, "how long I have been out?"
"A while."
"You should have woken me up."
"You needed to sleep."
"You don't know what I need."
Wren doesn't reply and only puts the files back in his bag. Spencer crosses her arms and is pretty sure she has that pouty look on her face that reminds her of the time she was drunk in his place after one of the many times she needs to escape her family. A common theme. That feels like a lifetime ago, even if she can remember the night a little too well for her own good.
Scotland is pretty from what little she sees of it. A nice place to just get away from everything and anything. If her interview goes well but that's not really much on her mind as she stares looking out at the North Sea. She's freezing as she stands on the shore with Wren next to her, but she doesn't care as the smell of the sea washes over her, her hair blowing behind her.
It's not Rosewood, that is for certain.
Things shift between her and Wren the longer they spend together. She doesn't quite understand it but maybe that is for the better...that she doesn't understand what is going on anymore. He's kept so many secrets and is adamant about protecting her as much as Melissa is. Her mother is the one who called him. It's as if everyone is in on something that she doesn't understand.
"My life is a mess." She whispers after a while as she ends up sitting, not caring that she's going to end up with sand everywhere.
Wren seats right next to her, glancing over at her only for a moment before he looks out at the sea. "You're eighteen, Spencer. You have your whole life ahead of you."
"What were you doing at eighteen?"
"Getting into Oxford." He shrugs. "Getting dumped by an old girlfriend. Figuring out...life. I'll admit your life is far more high pressure than mine simply because of your parents."
"Who are just trying to protect me." She turns to him, focusing in on his face in the moonlight. "I used to think Melissa wanted me dead. I wouldn't put it past her. I've done a lot of... things to mess it up."
"She cares about you."
"Toby won't even speak to me. Hasn't even called me back. Alison and Hanna are in jail. Jason hates me. I have a twin sister. I don't even know anything about my parents. Somehow this is manages to with Cece Drake of all people." She struggles to understand any of it. "Cece Drake. Mary Drake." She doesn't have the capacity to think about it. "And I haven't even prepped for my interview with St. Andrews. This is going to go as bad as Oxford. Then I'm going to be going to some no name school where everyone is stupid."
Wren smiles but shakes his head. "You're going to do fine."
"You're the only reason I'm even here. Melissa told me to be grateful."
"They wouldn't even agree to see you if you weren't up to their standards. I just nudged it along."
"Yeah." Spencer doesn't believe him but let's it go. "We should go. I'm cold and tired." She dusts herself off from the sand and waits for Wren to stand up, wrapping her arms around herself as she walks. Once inside they walk down the hall. "Do you like her? Alex."
"She's not like you or Melissa, that's for sure."
"That's not what I asked."
"Yes."
Spencer nods. "Do you think she likes me?"
"I don't think she knows you well enough. You're kind of prickly."
"You liked me." Spencer points out. "Colin. People back home. Not everyone ." She's definitely not versed for that. "I would be the girl whose twin hates her."
"When did you start worrying about what people think of you?"
"My parents would be so proud right now. Always about image."
"Image isn't everything."
"It's not?" Spencer questions. "My image is what will get me into Oxford."
"You're Spencer Hastings no matter what."
She doesn't think when she kisses him. She just does. She pulls him closer and doesn't think. She's tired of thinking. He kisses her back and it reminds her of all the other times when she leaned on him when things were falling apart. She does that. It's too often and it's unfair. To both of them and everything she is running from, but he's there. He's lying and secretive, she isn't entirely sure she trusts him, but he's there knowing her in ways other people don't.
She fumbles with the door until it's open and she's pulling him through it. An alarm goes off in her head that it's all such a bad idea. She's making a stupid decision but she doesn't care. Something of a new revelation.
"Spencer, we should..." He breathes the words out while he looks at her, licking his lips.
She looks up at him. "Right. Yeah. I'm sorry." She backs way, turning and running her hand through her hair. She's the queen of making ba decisions and they seem to just keep happening. Melissa wouldn't forgive her anyway. Neither would her parents. She would need to go to school in timbuktu just to get away from all of them, if she even went to school at all. In a weird way it sounds nice. Spencer sits on the edge of the bed and looks up at him. "We can just... forget this one. Maybe all the others."
"I remember when I suggested that and you were adamant we don't." Wren sits next to her.
"I can't read you." She admits softly as she plays with her fingers in her lap. "I don't know if you're into me or not, which is the least of all my concerns right now. You're lying but then you're here and I just can't read you. Okay, no forget I said that. I sound so stupid."
Wren lays back down on the bed and tugs her with him, pulling her so she's a lot closer than she should be. "When I met you I remember thinking I'd fallen for the wrong sister. I still think that." He brushes her hair from her face. "I keep going about it the wrong way. I don't think in instills much good faith if I sleep with you while with Melissa."
"At least I'm eighteen now." She smiles, a rea, smile. "That's a bad joke."
"You're beautiful." The complement is soft as his accent thickens, if even possible. "Always have been. Witty. Funny. Well read. Not crazy . Real. Normal. Worth every thing that's happened since I met you."
"What if this is it?" She trails her finger along his jaw. "Our one moment. Then it's gone."
"Fate keeps bring us together."
Spencer smiles, dropping her hand. "Fate is pretty fucked up."
Wren laughs, a true laugh. "Yeah, it bloody is."
"Tell me it'll be okay."
"It'll be okay."
He doesn't even know what but she appreciates that he says it anyway. "Thank you, Wren. For everything. I know that's ridiculous given I keep yelling at you but…
"I deserve it."
The air shifts as they just stare at one another. It reminds her when they were in her room, before Melissa actually caught them. The way he looks at her sets her whole body on fire and she hates the way she just wants him. It's always been extraordinarily difficult to stop things. She never wants to but one of them comes to their senses. It was Wren this time, but then suddenly, he's kissing her again. Kissing her in the way that no one else ever has and she doesn't want anyone else to.
"Are you?"
"Our one moment." Wren murmurs right against her lip before cupping her cheek and kissing her again.
It all starts out slow, in a way that Spencer maybe thinks she can put a stop to this before it gets somewhere where she can't stop it. Can't or won't, a fine line she's not well versed in given all the trouble she almost always gets herself into. Wren's always been something unexplored for her and given the chance to explore him she's going to take it. Nothing about him is safe and she's entirely certain her attraction is rooted in just that...the fact that he's anything but safe. He's holding things back from her, that much she can tell just the way he looks at her with those eyes that make her feel like she's the only woman on Earth he's ever looked at.
She's not. Not when he was once engaged to her sister and is now back with that very sister. They live together and she's not stupid as to what goes on in a relationship. She and Toby have their own time together.
It doesn't matter when she's loosening his tie as quickly as she can, making an attempt at the buttons of his shirt next, while her own shirt ends up on the floor. She feels more exposed than she's ever been with him before. She is, obviously, since she's never been entirely topless before him. He's seen her in a mess of other ways, however, so many ways that being exposed in that way is just so different.
His skin is soft and smooth, running her palms along his chest. She's never had this with him. Sober, in her right mind. She's not going to end up in some Scottish mental hospital or in rehab. She's sober and knows everything is going to go up in flames. She's not entirely certain of the truth anymore but she's just willing to jump and hope A isn't stalking her with some weird camera in there to record her every move.
She's not hurried even though she should be. She's calm and steady. She has her feet firmly planted on the ground even though that's not exactly the case. His lips feel good against hers and she hates that it makes her body burn with something even Colin couldn't give her. That was a fire of desperation to feel wanted, but with Wren it's a feeling of him catching her when she's falling. She's making things better and she's happy, good, content. There are all nothing but words.
She only stops to catch her breath and as her eyes are locked on his she moves to undo his belt buckle. She considers that the line of no return. He doesn't stop her and only runs his own hands along her chest. She moans, softly, just enough, trying so hard to keep some composure so she doesn't feel her young eighteen years to his...twenty something. She's not entirely sure how old he is but probably as old as Jason or Melissa.
It's nothing worth dwelling as she frees his from the confines of his pants and is able to see him in a way she's only envisioned in her head...a few times. She's always had something of a wandering mind, something she assumes is typical for a teenager, but there's something more to it with Wren.
Her hand wraps around him as he makes a work of her own jeans, managing to slide them and her panties off of her body, leaving her truly exposed like before. She doesn't mind it though. Not really. There's a moment where she feels herself blush since it's Wren, someone she's always had misses with, never any hits. Then he's looking at her and letting out a soft moan as she works her hand along him. He's definitely interested.
"Did you think about this, before?" Spencer asks as she breaks the silence hanging between them. She never thought it would be a reality and needs to know if it's the same for him.
He finds himself closer to her, her hands exploring her, landing between her thighs. "Yes, I don't know what that makes me."
"A guy…"
"I suppose so."
A guy that makes her feel good so she doesn't really care about the little technicalities between them. In a perfect world she's a little older or he's a little younger. There's definitely no Melissa involved. The rest is just semantics that doesn't really matter to her one way or the other. Especially when she's being touched by him and is having a hard time keeping her mind in one piece.
It gets worse once he's inside of her and making her feel things that she doesn't know what to do with. She likes the closeness and likes that she's with Wren. She can't help the way her mind wanders into a mess of things she can't really understand as well as would like. Oxford. St. Andrews. Melissa. Toby. But then Wren kisses along her neck and she's only thinking about him. Nothing else. Just the two of them together in a way she wanted it to be since she met him.
It's worth the wait. The way he holds onto her, the way her moans fill the room, and the way there's nothing between them. Physically and mentally everything is just pure and raw. There and together. She doesn't love him but thinks that is maybe a good thing. She loved Toby before she ever slept with him. Hadn't been with anyone else. It's different. Good different, bad different. She doesn't know. It's just different .
His hand grips her thigh and draws her closer to him. She's smiling against his lips, finding a raw passion taking over as she bites down into lower lip. "Wren please." She begs, unable to help herself. She needs to feel more. It hits her that the mystery about him attracts her. In the same way it did with Ian. In the way it did with Toby. Her just not managing to know him at all and the trust being thin. But he cares about her and she cares about him. Always has. Always will. Wonders what that makes her to put him above her sister. She is sleeping with her sister's boyfriend after all. Hadn't managed that with Ian, something she's grateful for now, but crossed the line with Wren.
It's too good to worry her mind over it even though she's usually worrying her mind over something. She's trying not to think about all that is unsaid or the raw feeling of him inside of her that screams just how reckless this all is. He's faster and pulsing within her in a way that is only making her feel like she needs to claw at him go get what she needs. It's no longer a want, but a need.
He tugs at her hair at the base of her neck that only makes her yearn for more. So much more. She can't help herself as she tries not to leave a mark, but feels some weird power struggle that she needs to. She doesn't. Not when she's just totally and completely lost within him. The way he's looking at her only sparks something inside of her that makes it harder to control herself. There is no control. It slips away so quickly and she's repeating his name like she can't help herself by steal whatever he's willing to give. She is. Especially the way the orgasm hits hers and he follows right after her.
The reality of what they are doing doesn't hit her just yet, not when she's leaning forward and kissing him like she's done what feels like a million times before. The frustration that filled her is gone and she realizes how good it is to feel sated, even if for a few minutes. Too good to pass up, too good to care, too good to do anything but lay her head on his chest and manage to catch her breath.
She wakes up suddenly, as if she's jolted away by something. It's nothing. Not with the way he just glances over at a sleeping Wren who looks so peaceful with the sheet barely covering him. There's a realization that hits at what they did and she should feel worse than she does. Of course she knows anything she had with Toby is now effectively over and maybe that's okay. Maybe she should just be alone for a while so they can figure out all of this A stuff. It's better for them all if she has a clear mind.
The one thing she does hope is that she doesn't need to stay in London too much longer. She really, really doesn't want Melissa to find out about all of this. That she continued on her ways and...she can't even finish the thought as lets out a soft sigh. Melissa will kill her and she wouldn't even blame her.
Ian. Wren.
Though Ian actually tried to kill her so she doesn't think that one should count. Wren is... Wren . He doesn't make sense but he makes all the sense in the world.
"What time is it?" Wren asks as he rolls over.
"Four."
"Sleep," he whispers, tugging her to him, "I like to sleep."
Spencer lets out a chuckle and lays with him, nodding off to the beating of his heart.
Her phone is the thing that manages to wake her up for the day an hour later.
[ anonymous; 4:07 AM ] Naughty little liar. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. Play by my rules and Melissa won't find out - A
She tightly closes her eyes and tries not to think about the thought that A knows exactly what she got up to in that room. She looks over at Wren and realizes he probably deserves to know something in case it happens. Only she'll just play by the rules instead of ruining both of their lives. They both deserve more than to have this take down everything.
St. Andrews goes a hell of a lot better than Oxford does and she's grateful. Her hopes are set on Oxford but she thinks St. Andrews would be nice. If nothing else she has her memory of Wren. All she does know is that she needs to get away from Rosewood and a whole different country is a nice thought. A fresh start. She's all but desperate for one.
She thinks they should probably get out. Scotland isn't a place where one should sit in their room, but there's a horror of A watching her that she just finds herself back in the room laying with Wren. They only have an hour before they need to leave so they can actually make the train back to London. If they are too late she's positive Melissa will get suspicious that Spencer was up to no good. She wouldn't exactly be wrong. Wouldn't be wrong at all. But it's their little secret. Their one moment. She'll do anything to keep it that way.
"It went well?" Wren asks as he twirls with the curl of her hair, her legs tangled in a mess with his.
Spencer nods. "Yeah, no panic attack in sight."
"Panic attack?"
"Colin helped me."
"Ah, Colin."
"Oh, stop that." She smiles, running her fingers against his mouth, "he didn't get to see me naked."
" Almost ."
Spencer rolls her eyes. "I need a favor."
"Anything." His response is immediate.
"Get my passport back. I need to go home."
"I'm that good, huh?" He chuckles. "Relax, Spencer. I'm joking. I will see what I can do."
"I have to break up with Toby." She confesses, trailing her finger along his chest. "I'm not telling you so that you break up with Melissa. I just...cheating on him three times is probably a sign it's over."
"Three times?"
"Don't judge me." Even if she is judging herself. "Like you've never cheated on Melissa."
"Only ever with you." Which doesn't sound better. "Do you want me to break up with Melissa?"
"I'm going back to Rosewood. I haven't even finished high school. Is that why you like me?"
"I can positively say that you being in high school is hardly what makes me like you."
"No," though she's glad to know that, "that it means nothing. That you can't have me."
"This means nothing?"
"You know what I mean." She chastises, feeling as if she should create distance between them, but not bothering to. "It's only when you can't have me and when you can you're nowhere to be found."
"I don't want to disrupt your life. There is something deeper going on than this, us , Alex. I can see it but I won't force you to speak about it. The night you were drunk was the only reason nothing happened between us, not because you were suddenly available and I was disinterested. It's never been that."
"Okay."
"Do you believe me?"
"Yes." She nods, it's possibly one of the only things she actually believes. She kisses him only to be interrupted by her phone ringing. There's half a second where she's convinced it's A only to realize it's a call, not a text.
"It's Melissa." She tells Wren before answering it. "Hi, Melissa."
"How'd it go?"
"Good. It went good."
"Mom wants you to know that Alison didn't take the plea deal."
That's not anything she's expecting Melissa to say, barely even knows how to process it. "Why didn't she tell me?"
"She didn't want to ruin your interview."
"Can I go home now?"
Melissa is quiet before answering. "Not exactly."
"Why not?" Her tone is high and demanding, a true Hastings. "Melissa just spit it out."
"Mom got word that you, Aria, and Emily are being investigated for being an compliance with Alison."
"That's insane. I didn't do anything."
"You remember what happened with Alison."
"Yeah." It's not like she could ever forget, "and I didn't commit that murder either. She's alive and you never even believed me because of Ian."
"Spencer, calm down."
"No, I'm not being accused of murders I'm not committing. You and mom are always doing this. Why don't you just say it, Melissa? You guys think I'm a murmurer. It would save us a lot of trouble."
"It's not like that."
"It's like that." Spencer shook her head, not even managing to feel comforted by the way Wren rubs her thigh, "If mom wants to talk she can talk to me herself."
"Spencer, wait."
Spencer wastes no time in hanging up on Melissa. If she calls back she'll just ignore her and none of that bothers her as she looks over at Wren. It's not necessarily the first argument he's been exposed to, but the first one where she falls down into a Spencer that only manages to exist with Melissa.
"That did not seem like it went well."
"Ian tried to fling me from the belltower and I don't think she's ever forgiven for his death after that." She whispers quietly, barely looking over at Wren. "Her and my mom probably have some whole idea of Alison and I murdering Mona. After all, she sent me here because she was afraid I'd be named as accomplice. That doesn't put much faith in me."
"They know who you are."
"They don't."
"Well," he sits up, closing any distance between them, "I do. I don't think you killed her." He kisses her even though they both know he shouldn't, especially not when talking about his girlfriend and her sister, "I don't think you killed anyone."
Spencer wonders what he means by that but doesn't ask. Sometimes she wonders what Melissa tells him about her. Another conversation for another time. When she's not...lost in so many messes he's the only one thing keeping her above water, when he's drowning her just like everyone else. "We need to go back." she whispers, kissing him one last time. "And you should stay with Melissa."
"If that's what you want."
She doesn't know that is but it's what seems right. "It's what I want."