Diary from Marla Tsang

by readeverystory

Marla can't believe what's happening to her. First Chan dies and then Della gets ill and moves away. She keeps a diary from the day Chan "died" until she finally figures out Della's secret.

AN: I always found Marla Tsang fascinating. I mean, I've got a sister myself and I couln't bear the thought of her moving away, so this is what I thought Marla was going through. Also I'm very sorry for all the mistakes I've made. I'm german and I used this to practice my english.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Dear Diary,

Chan's dead. He died in a car crash. Chan. Chan my cousin. I can't believe it. He always seemed so unbreakable. Like he could deal with anything. Like he could take anything. But he couldn't. Of course not. He was only human. And anybody has to die sometime.

I didn't cry at the funeral. Dad told me not to and I always try to do as he says. But it was hard. I'm worried about Della. She had loved Chan even more than I did. She is hardheaded as Chan always said, but she also can't take everything. Even if she seems like she can, but I know she's only acting for Dad.

Dear Diary,

I miss my sister. I miss Della. She's now always out with Lee. She loves him. I see that in her eyes. And Dad likes him too. He's Asian, of course he likes him. Even Mom likes him. He's kind to her. Always helps her if he's at our house. But I don't like him. Maybe because I'm jealous. Sure I am. He's stealing my sister. But I also saw the way he looked at her. If anybody watches he looks at her full of love and all. But if he thinks he's unwatched he looks at her almost disgusted. Like she's not worth him. Maybe I'm also imaging things. I hope so. Because I don't want my sister's heart to get broken.

Dear Diary,

I'm so worried. Della's ill. She is now in hospital. Mom and Dad fought long time about it. He told her that Asians don't go to hospital unless they're dying. Mom told him then something I didn't understand. Probably that Della IS dying. Dad made then that sound he always makes when he doesn't believe a thing you say. Eventually Mom got her will. Now Della is in hospital with a high fever and everything and Mom and Dad are with her. They left me alone in the house. Like I don't count. Well, I don't. Della has always Daddy's shining star. I'm so worried. I hope she gets home quickly and that everything will be fine again.

Dear Diary,

Lee was here. He wanted to look for Della. I sent him away. It felt good. I told him, she's still in hospital, which is true. They didn't come home. Mom called me and told me that Della has to stay for the night. She asked me if she should come home, but I told her that it's okay, which is NOT true. I don't like being alone in the house. I feel watched like somebody is in the house who shouldn't be there. I thought I even heard someone moving, but it can't be, can it?

Anyway Lee didn't look too sad about Della being absent. He actually looked pretty happy, like he won in the lottery. I still don't like him. He's not good enough for my sister.

Dear Diary,

Della's home again. Mom said they didn't find anything in the hospital. The doctors are clueless. Della is in her room the whole time and sleeps. Or Mom says she sleeps. It's true every time I step in her room, she snores. But Della doesn't snore. She's hiding something. I just don't have a clue what. I'm as clueless as the doctors. Best condition to become one, as Dad wants. Haha.

Dear Diary,

I think Della's dying. She feels so cold. I don't know what's wrong with her. I'm not a doctor. And I don't know what to do without her. She's my sister and she's pretty annoying, but I love her and I don't know if I can survive without her. Who would hold me in his arms if I cry? Who would tell me that I'm good enough for this world, even if Dad doesn't think so? I need her so much and I'm embarrassed by that fact. Asians, as Dad always says, don't need anybody or anything, they just need success. Maybe there you can tell that I'm not fully Asian.

Dear Diary,

Della's awake. She's not ill anymore. It should be brilliant. We should be happy. I should write 'DELLA'S AWAKE!', you know, in capital letters and with many, many exclamation points. But I'm not writing it this way and we're not happy. Della's changed. She... I can't say how. I can just say, that she has changed. Dad is furious. He wants to find out why his shining star got ill. Della never gets ill and Dad says Asians just don't get ill. Then they would have to stay away from work and wouldn't have success. I think that's rubbish. I don't say that often about what Dad says but now I say it. That's rubbish. In his opinion I should study medicine, become a doctor, marry an Asian and move back to Asia. But if the Asians never get ill, they never need a doctor and so I can't work and have no success. It doesn't fit.

So, Dad is furious. He thinks Della has taken drugs or is pregnant. He never told me, but I hear him shouting and fighting with Mom so I know anyway. Della taking drugs and being pregnant that's rubbish too. That's just so NOT my sister. I've known her my whole life and I know that she just wants two things: She wants to gain the respect from Dad and she wants to become and FBI-Agent. She wouldn't risk any of her dreams just to have fun with drugs. And she wouldn't be so stupid and become pregnant.

Dear Diary,

I think I'm losing Della. She's distant lately. She's wouldn't let me in her room. I don't know what I've done to her. Mom says that it's maybe because she's nearly died. Maybe it's just a shock. I don't believe it and I think she doesn't believe it herself. Mom and Dad fight nearly everyday when he gets home from work. Mostly it's about Della. After that Della and Dad fight and Mom cries silently. I can't take it anymore. At the moment it's like hell at home.

Dear Diary,

today called a strange woman called Holiday something. She and Mom talked long on the phone and are planning to meet. It's about Della. I know it is. I heard it. Something about a summer camp. I don't want her to go there. We had our summer planned together and I wanted to stick to that plan, even if she's so strange lately. She's my sister after all and I love her. But she would never leave me, would she?

Dear Diary,

Della's going away. I can't believe it.

Dear Diary,

she's gone. We went to the bus station, Della, Mom and me. Dad wouldn't come. He didn't want to see his daughter going away to a camp for teenagers with problems. Della told him it's okay. But I saw that it broke her heart. It broke her broken heart. I found out that Lee broke up with her. I knew he is a bastard, I knew it all along. He broke up with her weeks ago and she never told me. Why? Why didn't she tell me. Before she got ill we would talk about everything. We were best friends and now everything is breaking apart. Maybe it's good, that she's leaving. Maybe when she comes back everything will be back to normal. I almost believe it.

Dear Diary,

summer is strange without Della. I don't know what to do. Every now and then when I'm bored I want to go over to her room to ask her what we're going to do until I realize... My friends are also tired of me. They're tired of my mourning. I can understand them. I'm tired and annoyed of myself. Dad has gone over to pretending that he has just one daughter. I hate him for that. I know he's embarrassed of having a hard time raising his kid but shouldn't the love of a parent be unconditionally? Now he tries to rise me as his shining star. I like that he spends more time with me now. I've always felt like the little annoying girl no one needs, now for the first time I feel noticed. I feel worth of life. But still I hate Dad for just ignoring the fact that Della's gone. I miss her everyday but he just pretends I'm his only child. Mom says Dad misses Della to and it's easier for him to pretend but still... I hate him for it.

Dear Diary,

they're making a school out of it! The summer camp it's going to be a school and Della's going to attend. I almost called her today to tell her that she should come home, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's her life after all and I don't want to be the annoying little sister, who destroys her dreams and her chances, but I almost WANT to destroy them. I want her back. I want my sister back. I want my old life back. That life full of happiness and joy. That life where I haven't been the only child.

Dear Diary,

Mommy's strange lately and Dad too. He comes home late. He always came home late, but now it's even later. I asked Mom about it and she told me not to worry. She told me that everything will be okay. That we will be a happy family again. Someday. Then she cried. I was worried about her answer and then I felt bad. She told me not to worry and I worried. I disobeyed her. Dad told me always to obey Mom to make him proud. I want to make him proud. I want to be good at school to make him proud. I even want to study medicine to make him proud. Last night when we played chess he told I made a good move and he was proud of me. I wish he would say such things more often, but he is not easily proud of someone. And as I said, lately he's strange. He looks sad and that scares me. Dad shouldn't look sad. He never looks sad. Maybe it has something to do with Della. I haven't seen her in what feels like ages. I miss her so much. Every day I want to call her. I take my cell phone out and dial her number, but I never call her. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm scared. I'm scared that she doesn't miss me. That she doesn't love me. Of course she doesn't love me, she left me. She tells me every time on the visiting day that she loves me, but she looks so uncomfortable, when she says that. So miserable.

Dear Diary,

we didn't visit today. We didn't go to Della's school. Mom was crying and told me she couldn't do it. Now I know there's something huge and important going on. Mom always talks weeks before the visiting day from nothing else and now we didn't visit.

Dear Diary,

today were people from the FBI at our house. I thought of Della when I saw them. She would fit in such team perfectly. The people were coming for Dad. I don't know what they were talking. Mom and I were sent away. We went up in my room and Mom cried. I asked her what was going on, but she didn't tell me.

Dear Diary,

they arrested him. They arrested Dad. They say he is suspicious of murder. Dad! He's innocent. I know he is. He's my father. He must be.

Dear Diary,

Della's coming home. I called her, told her about Dad and she's coming home. Finally. Now everything will be right again. It will be like it had been before Chan died. After Dad gets out of jail everything will be okay again. Of course, it will be. I just have to believe it strong enough.

Dear Diary,

Della's home again. She's been home for two weeks. I thought everything would be right again. I hoped. I was a fool. Della hates it here. I know she's hurting. I know she misses her friends. She would never tell, but I know her. I can see it. But, strangely, Daddy hates it too. I know he's got a lot on his plate. But he looks at her like he hates her. Like she's a monster. I don't know what to think of it. Something's going on and I have no idea what. I hate it. I hate that I don't know.

Dear Diary,

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. She's going back. Della's going back. I hate her. She leaves me alone with everything going on. She leaves me alone while I can here Mom crying everyday. And Daddy walking around with hanging shoulders. I thought we were a team. Once upon a time we were, but I guess not anymore.

And Daddy he shouldn't let her go. Della was always his golden star. He should make her stay, but he seems relieved that she's leaving. What is it with him? Ever since Della was ill he's treating her like a criminal. The only question is why?

Dear Diary,

ever since Della's gone I hate going home. I can't stand it there anymore. I can't stand the fact that Mom has always tears in her eyes. And Dad doesn't even notice. I stay with friends as often as I can. I try to escape, but I can't leave them like Della. I wish I could though. And I hate myself for wishing.

Dear Diary,

two weeks. Two weeks to the trial. I've got the feeling that my whole life just runs to the date and then everything will stop. Everything will change.

Dad pretends he goes to work everyday. He pretend, but I know he never gets there. I know he's just acting for Mom. I would never tell Mom though. His pride being an Asian is everything he's got and he would think of himself he failed if he was confronted with the fact that he doesn't go to work anymore.

Dear Diary,

suddenly everything makes sense. We've found out that Della's a vampire. Everything makes sense now, why Dad was so afraid of her. Why she changed so much. Why she didn't want to live home. Why she has never eaten much. Why she hated being touched and always felt cold. Everything makes sense.

I guess Della was afraid I would not accept the truth. But doesn't she know that I love her? No matter what? Doesn't she know that she'll always be my sister? At least now I know the truth and now I can make it up to her. Now I can show her that I still love her and always will.

Dear Diary,

there won't be a trial. Apparently an evidence is missing and now they dismissed the trial. Now everything falls into his place. Nothing will be like before Chan's death as I hoped it would. To much has changed. But change is good, cause if nothing changes it means you're dead.