Warning: This was created (the commentary) by several high schoolers and is not suitable for little kids. This is not meant to offend anyone. It is however ment to be fun. Sorry if you don't like it, but don't hate
Dedication: This is for my friends who helped with the commentary during 5th lunch the day before Christmas break. This is for my Godmother who taught me to enjoy writing. And last but not least, this is for my family (especially for my mom) for loving me.
Disclaimer: Santa said that I don't own anyboy you recognize. So don't sue...Santa won't give me Harry & co for Christmas either.
List of characters: Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Dennis Creevy, Colin Creevy, Susan Bones
It was the night before Christmas and everyone staying at Hogwarts was in the Great Hall…all seven of them. Well students anyways. There was a couple of teachers that showed up for dinner. There was only one table for the students as there was so few of them.
There was some arguing about what they should do after they finished eating. Draco was all for leaving everyone to their own devices, but Luna wondered out loud that the holidays were for being close to people and goodwill towards man (and woman). That it was a time about forgiveness to those who wronged you…even if it was for one night. Draco gave in and it was Hermione who suggested that they read the Christmas classic "T'was the night before Christmas". The others agreed, even though some of them didn't know what that was.
Hermione started to read
"T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."
"Wait…why are there mice? Why don't they call an exterminator or let the cat eat them?" Collin Creevy asked interrupting the story. Hermione shrugged, "I don't know… this was written long before I was born"
"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there."
"Isn't that the fat guy who breaks into your house and stalks you through out the year? And isn't he a pedo?" Dennis half asked half stated.
"Why do you say that?" Susan questioned.
"Think about it…he always wants the little kids to sit on his lap… I say that makes a pedo…besides he breaks into the houses with the little kids…" Dennis replied. Susan shrugged her acceptance.
"Let's get on with the story" Hermione said semi-annoyed.
"The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads."
"What in the hell is sugar plum?" Harry commented.
"And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
"Why would anyone sleep with a cap and kerchief? And what are those anyway?" Colin asked… he turned to Draco looking for an answer.
"I don't know…I may be pureblood but that doesn't mean that I know" Draco said. Colin looked disappointed.
"When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter."
"Some robber is trying to break in! Grab your wand and gun!" Harry said. Colin and Dennis laughed. Draco, Luna, and Susan looked confused and Hermione was annoyed.
"Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below."
"Wow its so dark its light" Susan joked. Hermione glared.
"When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,"
"Why are your eyes wondering…" Draco said pretending to act suspiciously.
"But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer."
"Wow they went smaller…Shrinkage!" Colin said.
"With a little old driver, so lively and quick,"
"Santa is so old he went to class with Merlin!" Harry said.
"Shouldn't he be dead already?" Draco questioned.
"I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!"
"And Rudolf too!" Dennis said.
"Wow…that is a breath full." Susan said
"To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too."
"Ah! He stole your stuff!" Draco said.
"And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound."
"How does he fit in the chimney?" Harry said seriously.
"More than that, I want to know 'would you want some fat old guy in a red suit, that molests your children, calls you a 'ho' every year, and tries to make up for it with presents coming to your house?" Draco said. The other boys agreed.
"He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,"
"The animal rights people must hate him" Colin said.
"And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot."
"Why do we celebrate him when he is filthy?" Susan asked
"A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow."
"Hasn't he heard of hair dye?" Draco asked rhetorically.
"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath."
"Santa endorses smoking! He's going to die of lung cancer, and give the elves second hand smoke!" Harry said.
"Doesn't he know that smoking will attract the nargles?" Luna said, who up until this moment had been watching and listening quietly, but had appreciated the humor, distracting her from not being with her father for the holidays.
"He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook wh1en he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!"
"Now that was scary…moving fat" Draco said.
"He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,"
"Three words. Jenny Craig Diet." Colin said trying to keep a straight face. Harry and Colin chuckled and even Hermione cracked a smile.
"And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!"
"Again how does he fit in the chimney?" Draco asked.
"He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!""
"Well?" The others demanded when the story was finished.
"Well what?" Hermione said.
"That's it?" Harry asked. Hermione had an innocent look on her face…
"Well there is one more bit…" She said.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Merry Christmas to all and to all Happy Holidays. May your Yuletide fun be wonderful and spent with family and friends."
"To add to that, Think of others, and God bless us, everyone".