SONG ;;

Almost by Bowling for Soup

PAIRING ;;

Hanataro Yamada x Kiyone Kotetsu

UNIVERSE (ANIME, MANGA, AU) ;;

AU

Hanataro didn't actually know Kiyone. He knew her older sister, Isane – Isane was the tallest girl he knew, and he worked with her. But he didn't know Kiyone, who would bounce in to visit Isane sometimes.

Hanataro had only seen a few seconds of Kiyone. One day when Kiyone bounded in, however, Isane was discussing something with their boss, Retsu Unohana. Seeing that Isane wasn't there, Kiyone went for Hanataro.

"Hey, do you know where Isane is?" Kiyone asked. Hanataro glanced up.

Oh. She was pretty. He felt his face heat up.

"Uh, she's busy," he said, busying himself with his work. Kiyone didn't make it easy for him.

"When's she gonna be out?"

"I don't know."

"Are you okay? You look really red," she asked, leaning in close to his face. Hanataro turned redder. His chair went out from under him and he fell. "Oh, sorry about that."

Hanataro was pretty sure his face looked the equivalent of a tomato at the moment.

"Why don't I make it up to you? I'll take you out to dinner?"

Hanataro Yamada was even more nervous than the time he tried to ask Rukia Kuchiki to the prom his senior year of high school.

He'd ended up puking at her feet and running away, but that was a story for another day.

It wasn't even like it was a fancy restaurant – they were meeting each other at McDonald's at all places. Hanataro had spent a few hours debating what he was going to get, using the online menu as a guide – go manly or healthy? He really didn't want to eat something as disgusting as a Big Mac, but he didn't want to seem... you know… not manly.

In the end, he decided just to get a regular hamburger and fries, because you couldn't go wrong with that.

And water, of course.

He decided to just wear jeans and a t-shirt, because it was just McDonald's.

\She looked incredibly cute, of course. She was wearing a tanktop and shorts, and she was bubbly and bouncy. Of course.

"Hi," he said, glancing around and tugging at the bottom of his shirt.

"Hi! Oh, don't worry about ordering, I already ordered for you. And me. I mean, I ordered something for you and something for me. And maybe we could share a dessert?"

"Sharing spreads germs-" Hanataro said, cutting himself off. That was probably the stupidest thing he could've done. Kiyone rolled her eyes. "Uh. Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kiyone said, waving her hand dismissively. "Ooh, sixty-three! That's us!"

They took a booth near the end, so that she could 'stretch out her legs'. He took the side nearest to the wall, and she took off her shoes and stretched her legs out across her side. Hanataro winced. Unsanitary… he thought, fixing his attention back toward the meal.

There were two children's meals on the tray.

"I got you chicken nuggets. And me chicken nuggets. Because chicken nuggets are cool can you go get some ketchup?" she asked. Hanataro blinked and nodded. It was an adventure to the ketchup dispensers – there was a group of teenage girls giggling in front of them and Hanataro spent about ten minutes saying, 'uh' 'can you please- um' 'please move.'

By the time he got back, he had ketchup in his hair along with the two ketchup cups he held in front of him.

Kiyone looked like she wanted to ask what had happened, but didn't.

"That took you a while."

"Yeah…"

They left it at that and ate their meal practically in silence, Hanataro as red as the ketchup in his hair and Kiyone talking every once in a while.

It was probably the most awkward thing he had ever done.

They stood outside of the McDonald's, Kiyone looking at him like she wanted him to do something.

"So, uh, bye," Hanataro said.

She was moving close to his face.

Oh God, was she going to try to kiss him?

"Bye!" Hanataro squeaked, sprinting home.

As the title says, there will be a hundred of these.

…yeah

Most of them AU.

Pretty much all of them crack pairings.

So.

Let the fun begin!