My first attempt to write in first person. I know I suck at writing the thought process but I'm hoping practice will help me with that!

I'm not quite sure how it ended up being just the two of us. I could see Shawn loitering by the table, pilfering the last of the drink as he stood trying to maintain an air of nonchalance that wasn't quite there. I've known him long enough now to see the tell tale traits of nervousness he tries so hard to hide, like the way he runs one hand through his hair or the way his thumb's drawn to his mouth so he can vent his worry on his nail before slyly spitting the chewed debris to the floor.

Joanie had gone, left with whatever key she'd plucked from the bowl as the music was winding down. It was meant to be a bit of fun, a random night of drunkenness and spontaneity for the festive season. After all, as Shawn had explained earlier, the sole purpose of the Christmas party was to get wasted and then laid. There was no point coming otherwise.

I was waiting for one of the girls to bring my key to me so that the night could be over with. I only agreed to go to this stupid party because Shawn was dropping unsubtle hints that it'd be a blast while Joanie backed his craziness for once. I wasn't wasted, in fact I was totally sober. It was easy to feign drinking when catering for Shawn. If you carry two bottles of beer people automatically assume you'll be drinking one yourself. This left me free to drink water all night without the fear of ribbing or repercussion. Since I usually had a beer in hand prior to the water most of the boys presumed I was pacing myself.

I glanced at my watch impatiently, looked up as Shawn stumbled his way towards me. He had an air of bewilderment around him, as if he couldn't fully comprehend why we were the only ones cluttering up the hall that the cleaning staff were desperate to tidy.

"Everyone's gone" I informed him needlessly.

He nodded, turned back to the table littered with leftovers. Scooped a handful of peanuts into his mouth before searching futilely for a drink to wash them down with.

" Catering took them" I said motioning in their direction. Shawn shot them a look of despise, growled something about the bastards ruining his good time through his mouthful of food before swiftly rounding on me.

I jerked backwards to avoid collision, could see the misinterpretation before he pieced it together in his inebriated state.

" Look let's go ok?" I ventured before he had a chance to erupt, placed a hand on his shoulder – a weak attempt to calm him. He was already on edge, the drink did nothing to appease his already short temper.

" Where's my key?" he barked abruptly, tearing himself from my touch, " Who's got it?"

I shrugged,damned if I knew. I didn't even know who had my own.

Shawn made for the door, incensed by my answer. I guess it lacked the details I was supposed to have miraculously acquired with my psychic abilities, seemingly I was supposed to know everything and had let him down by not knowing the answer to his trivial problem.

I reached the table outside the entrance a few steps behind him, he grappled inside the dish, movements sluggish until he triumphantly waved my own door key in my face.

I blinked as the metal blurred before my eyes, the red paper no more than a streak as he fanned it through the air.

" Gotch'ya" he whispered, the swaying slowed to a stop as he dangled it temptingly before me.

I swallowed, my throat inexplicably dry as a result of his tone. For someone who had been so enraged moments earlier the appearance of my key had unlocked some weird sense of pleasure within him.

" And?" I questioned.

" You have to take me home"

I was confused as to why this enthralled him so. I was pretty sure when he'd detailed his lusting for a tall blonde at the beginning of the evening that I was the last person to play a part in his fantasy.

" So?"

Shawn rolled his eyes at my confusion, sneering at my slowness.

" Take me back to the hotel" he commanded. I swiped for my key, was left grabbing at air as he snatched it back, surprisingly quick considering the state he was in.

" Ah ah Hunter. Stop breaking the rules." continued Shawn mockingly. He half lurched, half pranced down the corridor, his drunken dance apparently fuelled by his own egotism and amusement.

I sighed, remembered to grab his key from the dish before going to catch him up.

It was cold outside, the December night suitably frosty enough so that any conversation I attempted to have with Shawn resulted in breath crystallising in the air, not that he noticed anyway - he was far too busy laughing at a joke only he knew the punchline to.

We crashed into the cab I'd hailed together keen to escape the cold, Shawn still giggling uncontrollably as our bodies collided against the leathered seats. Any hope I'd had of the outdoors sobering him vanished at that moment.

The snickering stopped somewhere between the plaza and the hotel. I'd been restlessly attempting to detach myself from the entanglement of limbs I'd found myself a victim to. Shawn was rather reluctant to see his makeshift cushion go, emitted a groan of disgust with every attempted move I made. Eventually I surrendered to keep the peace, allowed him to lay there until I was sure the circulation had stopped flowing to my left arm.

" Hunt?"

My name was weightless as he whispered. He had the ability to take one syllable and transform it into something sultry. Confined between the warmth of his body and the condensation of the window pane as the city blurred by I could swear no one added a sexual edge to my name the way Shawn did.

The thought floored me momentarily, short circuited any other musing that may have followed it. It wasn't as if I'd never thought of Shawn that way before, it just startled me to think it when he was so close, an irrational fear that somehow the man next to me would be able to read these thoughts and use them as tools of torment.

" Hunter!"

Any sexual overtone, imaginary or not was gone, instead my name bore nothing but irritation.

" What?" I snapped, my tone reflecting his.

" You have to pay the man so we can get out of the car"

The oh didn't quite leave my lips, it seemed blocked by the simmer of annoyance building as he once again laughed, this time I was certain that I was the source responsible for his amusement.

It was only after I'd fumbled in my wallet for a twenty that it occurred to me that since both of us had been in the taxi both of us should have paid but Shawn was too busy shifting irritably from foot to foot on the pavement to be consulted about such insignificant financial matters. I'd just make him cough up for food when we set off on the road after Christmas.

I headed for the hotel, desperately seeking the warmth. I threw a glance over my shoulder when I found only my shadow for company, resumed facing north only to crash into Shawn. He'd done his usual trick of walking behind me, walking beside me and promptly arriving steps in front of me in seconds.

" What the hell are you doing?"

" Aside from being trodden on?" he retorted, " Waiting for the elevator"

It arrived as if summoned, announcing itself with a ping. We got in, stood in silence. I had to forgo speech in favour of placing all my energy in surviving the seemingly never ending rise to our floor. I felt that if I opened my mouth some unintelligible squeak of fear would break free as a result of being stuck in such a tiny space. I never really labelled myself claustrophobic but I was more of a fan of open spaces that didn't resemble coffins than this death-trap Shawn had managed to fool me into entering.

I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply to try and calm the illogical worry knotting in my stomach; almost jumped out of my skin as I felt Shawn's hand overlap my own, squeezing it reassuringly.

" Two more floors" he told me, for once no trace of teasing in his words.

" Ughng huh" I spluttered.

He kept a hold of my hand even when the doors sprang apart, only letting go when we reached the hallway.

" Thanks"

" Sorry, I forgot you didn't like them" Shawn replied, waved the gratitude off as if it was irrelevant. Maybe it was as I was pretty sure he hadn't done it just because he felt like being thanked.

" I wonder how the girls are doing"
" You mean who" I corrected him with a smirk. I dug in my pocket trying to find my door key, stopped as Shawn held it out.

" You've got mine" he reminded me pointing.

Of course I did.

"You know technically you're supposed to sleep with whoever gets your key"

I blinked, unsure whether this was one of Shawn's games or not.

" I know but we weren't supposed to end up with each other" I reminded him.

" Oh yeah? Says who?" he challenged.

" Says the rules" I laughed, " Guys put keys in the dish, girls pick the keys out. We only got each other because the numbers must have been uneven"

My laughter faded as Shawn stepped closer, the already small gap between us narrowed until we were touching.

" Rules are meant to be broken"

" That's not what you said at the party"

" I'm allowed to break the rules" Shawn decided. " Now finish the game"

" We don't have to. It's a mistake anyway" I muttered with a shrug. A flash of something resembling fury flared in his eyes, until the blue almost burned black.

" You're unbelievable" he hissed, there was no mistaking it now, he was definitely furious.

" What did I do?"

" You act as if finishing the game would be wrong, a mistake" he spat pointedly, " When all you ever do is sit lusting for me"

" No I don't" I denied hotly, ignoring the churn of guilt I could feel stirring. The refusal burned sourly against my tongue as the lie broke free.

" Like hell you don't," Shawn scoffed, " You think I'm blind Hunt? I see how you look at me. Even Joanie knows it"

My cheeks reddened under scrutiny, flushed with embarrassment I sought the floor.

I startled backwards as he advanced, my head rushing to meet the paster of the wall behind as he captured my mouth with his own.

Dutch courage tainted his mouth as we kissed, the taste bitter but appealing at the same time. It wasn't the first time our lips had met but there was something different here alone in the shadows, a passionate edge as his fingers sought my hair, locks tangled in a heated grasp.

The other kisses had been a rush of adrenaline out there in the ring, quick pecks designed to get cheap heat. This time his mouth lingered on mine and his tongue plundered my mouth.

" Tell me it's a mistake"

I shook my head, dazed. I couldn't. He snaked an arm around my shoulder to wipe dishevelled bangs from my face, tucking the stray strands behind my ear he leant in close.

" Now finish the game." he whispered.

I nodded and once he'd unlocked the door I followed him in. Somewhere between the threshold and the bed we lost our clothes and then there was only heat and passion burning from dampened skin as we met beneath the blankets and suddenly it didn't feel like a game anymore.

It was light when my eyes next opened, sheets wrapped around me as I struggled into conciousness.
The bed was empty, crumpled bedclothes the only proof Shawn had lay sleeping beside me mere hours ago.

The phone rang breaking the silence. With a sigh I reached for it, felt the sickening pang of disappointment as I recognised Joanie's voice on the end of the line. I guess no matter what I admitted to myself I'd been hoping to hear Shawnie's gruff tone on the other end of the receiver. I listened half-heartedly to her idle chatter, the slow mutterings of one who was hung over held no interest when they weren't Shawn.

I agreed to meet for breakfast, didn't quite have the brashness to ask if she'd heard from Shawn. I feared that if I did there would be some sort of sign radiating from us, a wanton neon glare proving we'd done the deed and crossed a line that I didn't think could ever be uncrossed.

I still ended the call with "I love you" though I doubted the words held as much sentiment as they had yesterday morning. Perhaps they'd never truly been genuine. What had Shawn said? "Even Joanie knows it."

As I placed the phone back on the cradle I saw the note, the handwriting unmistakably Shawn's. No one else I knew scrawled like that, the words barely legible against the paper.

" There's always New Year's. Sx"

A kiss? I grinned as I dressed for the day ahead, the New Year's party already shaping up to be more fun than the Christmas one.