It had been two weeks since Malcolm visited the lair. Crime had been at an all time high. It seemed Starling City's thugs could just smell the lack of green leather in the air. Some how they were all out of the woodwork, and the team needed to assemble again.

They had grieved for Oliver all in their own way. Diggle spent time with Lyla and baby Sara. Roy took out his aggression on street thugs. Felicity sat at her computer. With some mint chip.

Of course she had already cried more tears than she thought possible. The ache and hollow place in her chest was still there, but now she'd come to a slight moment of acceptance.

After her outburst in the lair, she let out all that emotion at home, and at work. Diggle called her every day to check up on her, and she loved those calls. He missed her. She missed him. She missed her team. She missed Oliver.

That's why when her tablet let off an alert one day, thirteen days after Malcolm's visit, she came to a decision. Oliver might be gone, but she'd keep his mission alive.

Dig was surprised to see her calling him for once, "Well this is unexpected".

There was a slight pause. Then she replied, "foundry? Eight o'clock?" It was a question but there was a resolve behind it.

Diggle was confused at first, since her outburst made it clear she was done with eveything. But that had been two weeks ago, when the initial shock of Oliver's death rocked the team.

"Yeah. Eight sounds good."

Felicity smiled into the phone, "bring some big belly, it's going to be a long night."

"Yes ma'am"

}-

Felicity heard Roy's heavy foot falls as he climbed down the stairs. She was typing away furiously.

"Just one more check... there. If Malcolm manages to infiltrate again, I swear I'll hand back my MIT diploma." She turned her chair to Roy. "You're uncharacteristically punctual."

"Well when you called, you sounded like you were on a mission-"

"C'mon, Roy," Dig said approaching from the stairs, "your only here early because you were getting dinner."

Felicity smiled slightly. It was good to see them. It felt good to have a purpose. "You get them then?" Diggle went to hold up the bags when Roy threw a small plastic bag on her computer table. Confused, Dig grabbed the bag, "Why is Roy bringing you Vertigo?"

Roy scoffed, "yeah and that's the reason I wasn't late."

Felicity got up from her chair.

"So I've decided that I'm not ready to let this go. Oliver's mission, that is. I still want to help the city, I want the team to keep saving the city. He's gone. But we are still here, and if his mission lives on, then so does he."

Diggle and Roy looked at each other. They knew she was still grieving, that part of her still carried some denial. They knew, especially Diggle, that if Felicity wasn't going to throw herself into working, then she was going to fall apart. This is what she needed, but they needed it too.

Roy spoke first, "well you know I'm in. Mask or no mask, I'd be pummeling thugs anyway." The other two good- naturedly rolled their eyes. Dig went next, "you know, I had to make this choice when Oliver first reached out to me. Either I'm still crazy, or it's still the right thing to do."

"Good, because we have lots of work to do." Felicity sat back down and turned to her computer.

It was good that they were all on the same page, she thought. They didn't have Oliver anymore so they'd have to approach things as methodically and cautiously as possible. Between Dig and Roy, they had great survival training, as well as her technical expertise.

Roy interrupted her thoughts between bites of French fries. "So, the Vertigo?"

Dig quickly interjected before she could respond, "I thought Zietel was in prison?" His hands sat on his hips and he looked on confused.

Felicity quickly answered, spinning away from them. "He is. I checked Iron Heights prisoner database after an alert went off. Vertigo has again flooded the streets. But he's in there." She moved aside to show them streaming camera footage from the prison. She continued, "I've scrubbed the footage and gone through the visitor logs, there's nothing that could warrant Vertigo being distributed. So I had Roy score us some to test."

"Maybe there is something that could tell us about how it's getting out there again?" Roy asked.

Felicity started typing again, "these are the ingredients from Zietel's version of Vertigo. The one that Oliver got injected with that shows you your worst fears. We test this new sample against the old..."

"We start piecing together some new clues." Dig finished.

}-

Testing the new sample took a few days. In the time they spent waiting, nights were spent in the foundry training, or patrolling. One requisite of their continued mission was that Felicity had to start some self defense with either Diggle or Roy. She hated this part of the deal. Normally she was very good at anything she did. So when she didn't excel quickly at something, she was very frustrated. Her technique was very good, fighting wise, but she couldn't get past their strength. That's why she didn't have a problem with injecting Slade with the mirakuru cure or giving the smack down to Cooper. They were distracted, and she outwitted them. But fighting with someone physically strong and using their strength against her was taking a toll on her psyche.

She ached when Dig threw her down for the fifth time. "you have to use my weight against me. If you push back, it's not going to get you anywhere." Dig admonished. He hated injuring her in these lessons as much as she hated being sore and breathless, but it was the only way she would learn.

"Let's go again," she said as she got up.

"Why don't we take a break," Dig said right before a ding from an alert made the decision for them. Felicity rounded to her station. "The results from the Vertigo sample came back. There are similar ingredients from Zeitel's version but there are a couple differences including chlorpromazine."

"Isn't that the antipsychotic that we used to track Count Vertigo's sample back to the asylum?"

"Indeed it is. Which I guess means that we are looking for someone operating out of asylum again. I can check the medication usage of some asylums to see if there's a suspicious amount being used...ohh..."

"Felicity..."

"Well this is not at all local, but Arkham Asylum just requested a huge amount of chlorpromazine and two other ingredients in the new Vertigo in the past 30 days."

"You think that could be related? "It's far. I mean, whoever is manufacturing it could easily just sell it in Gotham." Dig thought to himself for a moment, tapping his temple as he looked at the information.

"I'll keep digging and monitoring Arkham's medical supplies. Maybe it's just a coincidence." Felicity spun around toward Dig, "Go again?"

Dig looked at her disapprovingly.

"Felicity, its late. Roy already finished patrolling an hour ago, and these last couple days you've been nonstop between researching the samples and training."

She looked down dejected but nodded, "You're right. Yeah. Tomorrow's another day."

Diggle nodded and walked to the bathroom to change. Felicity got up and made her way towards the mats where her water bottle and towel sat. She took a sip as she paced waiting for Dig to vacate the bathroom. She stood by the displayed arrows. It hit her again just like during Malcolm's visit. She felt the void in her chest grow again as she stared at the arrows. Tears swelled in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She couldn't or she'd break again. She heard Dig approach from behind her but she didn't turn.

Dig placed a hand on her shoulder. "I miss him too. No one would blame you if you needed more time." She shook her head and turned slowly, "If I stop again, I don't know that I'll ever stop mourning him. At least this keeps me feeling close to him."

"He'd want you to be happy."

Felicity scoffed, "I know, but I don't see that happening for awhile. But what I can do is find where this Vertigo is coming from. He'd want that after Thea, maybe even after..." She trailed. Flashes came to mind of sitting in her office, zip cuffed to her chair, and her hair being played with and pulled behind her. That night was particularly memorable.

"You never talk about that night."

Felicity broke out of the memory. She spoke quickly, "I'm not particularly proud that Oliver had to break his no killing oath."

"That's not why you won't talk about it." Dig regarded her sternly.

"You're right." She stepped back so Diggle's hand slid off her shoulder, "it's late". Her eyes holding a bit of steel. He held his hands up in surrender and backed away towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled slightly.

Diggle turned back to her before heading up the stairs. It looked like he wanted to say something, one of Diggle's wise words, mostly reserved for Oliver's pigheaded stubbornness. But he stopped himself and instead just said, "goodnight."

Felicity hated keeping his at arms length, she really did. But tonight everything was just frustrating. Her searches, her training, Dig bringing up memories she wish she could burn out of her mind. Instead of making her way to clean up like she had intended she went back to her computer and started digging again.

}-

Three hours later she made more headway than she thought. She realized the thumping from the bass upstairs had stopped at some point so she looked at the time. It was well into the early morning. She haphazardly threw on her work clothes she had arrive in that evening. It was way too cold to just go out in her workout clothes even though her skirt and blouse offered only marginally more coverage. Closing the heavy alley door behind her she quickly made her way to her car. It was farther than normal since it was a Friday night and the club was busier than normal. She fumbled with her purse looking into her purse for her keys. What she wasn't expecting was the arm that grabbed her when she rounded the corner.

She was swung into the brick side face of the building. Her head thudded against the wall painfully as she tried to get her bearings and remember her training. She swung an arm out haphazardly trying to find purchase on anything. But her hand was caught and there was a snicker. The fear she was trying to quell swelled further. There were two attackers.

In the span of a few seconds there was one strong hand wrapped around her throat and another holding the fist she had swung above her head against the wall.

As her faculties came back to her she scanned round quickly. There were two men. Both looked to be in their late twenties or early thirties. And while the one that held her against the wall didn't look as muscular as Diggle did, the strength that he was exhibiting was impressive. And scary, extremely scary. She tried her luck again at breaking his hold but to no avail.

Her attacker tsked in her ear, "Where do you think you're going? Taking back alleys is probably not the smartest thing to do this late at night." He spoke slowly and coolly in her ear. She shivered not only from the intense cold in the air but also the bleak situation she found herself in. She tried to appear as docile as possible so that maybe he'd let up his grip since the offense she was failing to display wasn't working.

He was speaking again, "Its too bad we weren't in the club, we could have danced..." His face became very close to hers and his body all but covered her left side. As upsetting as this was, it might be what she needed. He kept speaking but this time it wasn't directed at her, "What do you think, man? That outfit isn't really clubbing material but she still rocking it."

While his face was tilted toward his friend, she put her plan in action. With a slow inhale her knee came up swiftly into her attackers groin. Surprised and in pain he doubled over, his eyes already reddened from the assault. His hands slackened enough that she broke free and tried to throw him into the other man. Which she did. For a split second she thought she was home free, doubling back to the foundry door which was closer than her car. But with the few steps she managed to take, her attackers gait was longer and quicker. Using the same move she managed to use on them, the man who had held her charged into her, taking her down, throwing himself on top of her. She landed roughly on the alley street, her face scraping on the pavement. It seemed that her attacker was growing impatient with her attempts to flee. Her ponytail was pulled from behind roughly and an instant later her head was slammed back hard into the pavement. Felicity almost lost conscienceless right there. Her vision swam and their was a sharp ringing in her ears. The pain in her head seconded only to the full blown fear now welling up. She realized she was now on her back, her assailant straddling her. Her hands were now above her head with the other man holding them roughly. So overwhelmed by fear and pain, she hadn't realized she had been pleading with them to stop. Something was then thrust into her mouth with fingers pushing it hard to the back of her throat. The same hand then closed her jaw tight and In her struggle, she swallowed what was put in her mouth.

Oh God they drugged me

Hands where suddenly everywhere on her body. They were tearing at her blouse, her skirt was being hiked up. Her legs were useless as he sat heavily on her and used his shins to keep her in check.

The combination of whatever they drugged her with, her fear, and her head still pounding furiously, Felicity turned her head into her arm and willed her mind to escape.

It was all so much. Oliver. Park of her could imagine not being afraid because she knew that no matter what he would save her. He always saved her. But not this time. He couldn't save her ever again.

"You can call me Oliver if you'd like," her attacker sneered above her. Apparently she had said his name out loud.

Everything felt like it took so much effort now. The drug was definitely in full affect and it had only been a minute at most. Their hands were still moving and she could feel one particularly scraping up her thighs and darting under her panties.

Just then, she heard something, even though it sounded far away in her ears.

"Holy...Thea stay inside. Call the police. Go. Now!"

The two men suddenly panicked. Above her in their haste they became clumsy. Their hands were gone. And what sounded like a struggle to her side was fuzzy.

What seemed like awhile later there was a voice again, "Felicity? Felicity! Shit!"

There was a soft hand against her neck and then another loud noise.

"I'm sorry! I just want to feel your pulse. Can I?" Roy asked his hands raised away from her.

Felicity realized then that the loud nose was her scream. She was so tired, her head was so fuzzy but the panic was still there. She nodded, trying to hold herself together.

Roy slowly placed his hand back on her pulse point on her neck and she cringed but otherwise didn't move. She then remembered something important, "I'm...they...drugged me."

She tried to look at him clearly but her head and eyes wouldn't cooperate.

Roy looked lost in her haze. He looked around quickly and then back at her, "Felicity, I want to bring you back into the club. I know you probably don't want me touching you right now, but do you think I can pick you up?

She looked at him as best she could. He had a determined face on but it was soft in compassion.

He spoke again when she hadn't answered. "I will not hurt you. I promise."

It took her a second to remember her trust in him but she did. She nodded, her head still so heavy.

He spoke to her as he pulled her into his arms, even as he was walking to the door. His voice was comforting and she tried to push past her panic. She couldn't keep track of everything he said but she did make out, "You're going to be ok," and "the police are on their way."

That sent her into another panic as Roy opened the side door. But he was still speaking, this time not to her, "Thea! Come over here."

"No police...no hospital, please." She was trying to speak louder, but her throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton. They were still walking, why hadn't he set her down yet? She heard Thea's voice then, "Roy what happened? Who is that? Oh my God, is that Ollie's...Felicity right? Is she ok?"

Roy was speaking quickly again, "Did you call? They can't come in here. Call them back and say there was a disturbance but they've gone"

Thea was protesting, "What!? Roy looks at her! And those men? You can't just let them-"

"Thea!"

Thea stopped but looked at him like he was crazy. Roy took a deep breath, "you have to trust me right now. Please."

Thea looked from him to Felicity. She nodded, "Ok," and started to call. Roy was still walking as she heard Thea in the background on the phone. A few seconds later she was next to Roy again. "Ok, it's done...where are you going?"

Felicity heard the familiar chimes of the lock that went down to the lair.

"Thea, I know you're going to be pissed but I need to help her right now, I'll explain everything later."

They were down the stairs now and Roy was throwing the light on. Felicity couldn't see Thea's face right then but she heard a light gasp from behind them. She was placed on a cold surface. She tried to move her head but the back of her head was sticky and her neck was incredibly stiff. She tried to open her eyes but the lids felt so heavy.

"I have to call Diggle, I need you to keep her awake, ok. Thea! Please." Then there was a hand on her arm. Felicity startled, and her eyes flew open for a second until she saw Thea. She relaxed slightly, her eyes fighting with her eyelids to stay open.

"Felicity, everything is going to be ok. Roy's calling for help." Thea talked to her shakily, her hand still on her arm. She liked the warmth it emitted. She was suddenly so cold. The table was also shaking, which made her head throb. Was it her that was shaking?

Thea's hand left her arm and she was suddenly very afraid again.

"It's ok, it's ok, I'm here" Thea's voice was stronger this time, gentler. And then she felt something draped over her torso, and Thea's hand which now slid into her own.

She felt warmer and safer for the moment, her heavy lids winning the battle and closing once more.

}-

Felicity was jarred awake by a harsh smell and some very loud voices.

"How long was just out? How long has she been bleeding for?" That was Diggle. He sounded incredibly worried but was in full doctor mode.

"Maybe 10 minutes, she passed out right after I called you." Roy was there above her as well.

"I'm sorry! I tried to keep her up!" Thea sounded incredibly guilty, panic lacing her voice.

Then one of her eye lids were forced open and a light shown directly at her. She flailed at once, then was trying to flee. There was too much going on.

"Whoa whoa, it's ok, it's just me, it's Dig. I need to check you." She looked around to see the three of them all looking at her with varying degrees of distress and anguish. Thea came around to her, and slowly reached out her hand. Felicity's eyes followed it to her own and let her grab it again. She looked back up to Diggle and nodded. The fight suddenly drained out of her. Not letting go of her hand, Thea came up to her side and eased her back onto the med table. Diggle ever so slowly reached her face and checked on her, gently maneuvering it from side to side.

He finished assessing her head and then his eyes moved lower. He looked up to where Felicity was watching his every move and silently asked for permission.

She nodded slightly, now feeling somewhat more embarrassed than fearful in the moment. Diggle removed what appeared to be Thea's coat from where she draped it on her. Suddenly Diggle's eyes were murderous. He glanced back up at her and his eyes softened. Roy appeared at his side with some towels. When he caught site of her, his jaw clenched down, the muscles tightening in his neck. Dig was talking to Roy softly, but she heard it, "did he..."

Roy shook his head, "I don't think so but..."

Felicity spoke up as loud as she could muster, "Roy made it in time."

Roy's hands went up to his head and Diggle took a deep breath. Thea's hand squeezed hers just slightly.

Roy started speaking again, "She said they drugged her."

Dig turned his attention back to Felicity, "hey... " he spoke very softly, "did the grab you when you were leaving." She nodded slowly, "I didn't see them as I rounded the corner. I tried to fight back but they were too strong" she was starting to get upset. Diggle shushed her, "relax relax...we are here and we'll take care of you."

He addressed Roy again, "from the signs she's displaying, and how quick it seems this all happened, it sounds as if they gave her a cocktail of Rohypnol and possibly some sort of ketamine. Although even that wouldn't have been so quick." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "She may not remember anything tomorrow...or rather, later today. Well just have to see. We'll need to stitch her head, but first we need to get her warm and clean. We'll need to get her in the shower"

Her eyes were wide again, even though her body felt like it weighed a ton. Thea spoke up, "I'll take her." They wheeled the med table as close to the bathroom as possible.

Diggle helped her up slightly but let Thea do most of the handling. He was trying to not panic her as much as possible. Luckily there was a bench in the shower. Thea deposited her on the bench and then started the shower, making sure to get a comfortable temperature. Diggle knocked softly on the side of the shower, but never entered, "I found some clothes." There was a pause and a sigh, "it was all I could find. I called laurel and asked her to bring you some stuff, she'll be here in an hour or so." He turned and left.

Felicity was still shaking slightly, her limbs heavy and everything aching. Thea gently spoke again, "do want help with your clothes? Felicity didn't want help, but she knew she needed it. She could barely lift her head off her chest. She nodded.

Very carefully Thea went about removing her clothes. She unbuttoned her blouse and and peeled it off her. She maneuvered her slightly to lift her skirt up, unzipped the side and lifted it off instead of making her stand. She turned her slightly to keep some of her modesty and unclipped her bra and took it off while remaining in back of her.

There was a pause. Then again Thea was moving. Felicity felt her hands at the side of her hip and then quickly at the front and her underwear was lifted from behind her. Felicity's cheeks flushed at the thought of Thea having to rip her panties off but as the same time she was happy to be rid of them. Hopefully they'd burn all her clothes.

"Ok here comes the spray," as she swirled the jet toward the bench. The water felt warm and comforting. It stung a little where it met the cuts on her head but she was almost too numb to care. Thea found some soap and a towel and gently wiped away the grime from the night. Felicity just stared at the bathroom tile feeling heavy and numb. When she was clean, the water was shut and a towel was draped over her shoulders and lap. After patting her down a bit, Thea went to get the clothes Diggle brought her. A gray T-shirt, and boxer briefs. They were Oliver's. Felicity couldn't hold it together after that, she started sobbing uncontrollably. Thea's arms wrapped around her as she sunk to the shower floor. And that's where they stayed until Felicity passed out a few minutes later.

}-