In Silence
What are we doing here?
Standing across his captain on the hard battle ground, Renji panted heavily. His grip on Zabimaru tightened. His sandals slid over the dry earth to take a better stance.
We both know how this will end.
The afternoon breeze picked up, lazily gliding across Renji's sweat-slicked skin and brought with it the faintest scent of cherry blossoms that filled his heightened senses. His shallow wounds itched from where Senbonzakura had managed to get to him.
Byakuya, on the other hand, looked unperturbed. His attires fluttered slightly in the wind, but were otherwise neatly in place.
"You have to train harder if you ever hope to gain an equal footing with me, Abarai," The 6th squad captain commented offhandedly.
Renji didn't indulge in an unnecessary reply. It was moments like these that he found he had nothing to say. Not out loud, anyway. Instead, he settled himself in the silence that soon weighed down upon them. It was a familiar silence, one that was neither welcomed nor shunned.
He mindlessly fired off a kidou spell. It missed the target, though Renji could hardly say that any of them were surprised. At this point, the main purpose was not to win the fight. No, it was only to get HIM to stay a little longer. To prolong this interaction. At times, Renji thought Byakuya knew this about him too, though he didn't show.
"Another one of your petty attempts?" The captain scoffed. That's what I hate about you, Renji. You're so stubborn.
Apart from the soft movements of their feet and the swings of their swords, the silence lingered on. It was a magic that could not be broken. Not by the snide comments that they occasionally threw at each other, and not by Renji's desperate yet quiet pleas.
I hate how you can never love me.
Byakuya hadn't released his Bankai. He didn't have to. His eyes, the parts of him that were supposed to be the most expressive, were hard and cold as he observed Renji wielding his zanpakuto in its most powerful form. There was a curtain of dark, red hair that came undone and now hung about his face.
Renji hated those grey, unreadable eyes the most. He hated how they seemed to always look down on him. Yet, he couldn't force himself to look away. It was a bittersweet torture that he had to endure.
What do you want from me?
Advancing on steady legs, using shunpo to his advantage, Renji raised Zabimaru above his head and brought it down for a vicious attack. Not a second too late, his vision was blurred by the thousand petals that surrounded the skeletal snake and himself. To Renji's dismay, his captain had used the opportunity to move away from the attack.
"You're running away, Byakuya." Why?
"I simply think it best if we kept our distance," came the stoic reply. You smell like fire and you look like sin. I'm afraid to get any closer.
No one knew how much time had passed. No one cared. Among his ragged breathing and various injuries, the silence pressed on. It cut like him glass. But that was fine, too. The fight was drawn out for a while, and because of that fact alone, Renji was more than contented. He wanted attention, and this was how the noble gave it to him.
How long can this last?
It was clear that Byakuya was getting bored. Renji could tell by the way that glint in his eyes became even more humourless. He could almost pinpoint the exact moment that his captain decided to finish it off.
The final blow was dealt and Renji's body hit the ground. Neither of them was particularly worried. After all, what was the fourth division for?
"Taicho…" He heard himself saying. Don't go.
"Lie still, Renji. And for the dignity of our squad, I sincerely hope you're not begging." Byakuya's sarcasm was sharp. It stung.
If I have to touch you, I will most likely break you.
In the end, Renji couldn't get him to stay. He forced his eyes open against the weariness and watched as Byakuya turned to leave.
Powerless as he was, once again, Renji let him slip away.