Confessions

by et-tu-lj

After Willow goes dark, she's sent to a British wizarding group for training. She and Snape discover that they have more in common than it might first appear. AU because the timelines don't match up between series, but otherwise true to canon events.

"Has Dumbledore told you why I'm here?"

Willow Rosenberg is Dumbledore's guest, and Snape has agreed to this conversation only at his insistence. "Only that you're studying to learn better control of your powers."

"Understatement. Big time." She laughs, the sound bitter and harsh. "Somebody I loved got killed and I went dark. A friend sent me to Dumbledore to get straightened out."

"I see."

"Dumbledore told me a lot about you." At his raised eyebrow, she elaborates, "About your time with the Death Eaters."

"Did he, now?"

"How do you manage not to go black again?"

He hesitates, but Albus has asked him to be as honest and open as possible. "If you practice restraint long enough, it becomes who you are, rather than something you force."

"Do you still miss it?"

He still misses her. "It becomes easier."

"I hope so." She sighs, looking old and tired. "I still crave it. But I don't want to kill anyone else, so I manage."

"I'm never sure about the next time, though," she admits. "What made you stop?"

"When I 'went dark,' as you say…" He forces himself to say the words aloud. "I caused someone I loved to die.