Harry Potter... the Blonde!
Number Four Privet Drive was your typical, *very* normal home. According to Petunia Dursley it was rather perfect. The lawn was always freshly primped, the flowers in bloom, the fence spotlessly painted, the interior immaculate, and the occupants normal. Of course, this was true most of the year. Unfortunately, there was a portion of the year called summer. And try as the occupants of Number Four Privet Drive may try, Harry Potter did exist and was so very far from normal.
It was the summer before Harry's sixth Hogwart's year that something rather peculiar happened. A thought happened. A thought that appeared like a bubble just blown. A bubble that drifted and floated around and around but never landed to pop. It all started one morning during breakfast. Harry had just finished crisping the bacon and had served everyone their breakfasts (bacon, scrambled eggs, and half a grapefruit each). Harry had slipped himself a piece of bacon and grapefruit and was scarfing it down near the sink when Uncle Vernon looked up and said the stupidest, most idiotic, most unthoughtful thought to Aunt Petunia.
"Darling, have you thought about using one of those boxes of color on your hair like Jones' wife? You are showing a bit more grey." Aunt Petunia suppressed a squeak of hurt; Dudley was too busy eating to notice; and Harry almost died choking on his grapefruit. Uncle Vernon took notice to none of these reactions and merely waited for Aunt Petunia's response.
Aunt Petunia straightened out her silverware just so (she probably felt the need to have some control over something). "O-of course, Dear. I just wasn't sure if you'd like such a frivolous application."
"Nonsense!" Uncle Vernon laughed. "Anything for my wife is not frivolous!" It was about there that Harry rolled his eyes and tuned out the conversation while he washed the morning dishes. If he didn't hurry it would become too hot to do his outdoor chores.
Later that week while Uncle Vernon was still at work, Aunt Petunia came home with two bags full of an assortment of boxed hair dyes. She had asked her strong and handsome Dudley to carry both bags upstairs to the bathroom.
"Can't Harry do it?" Dudley whined. Harry was smart enough to dive behind the kitchen door to not be seen. Aunt Petunia only smiled and pinched Dudley's cheek with affection.
"Nonsense, Dudikins, Harry's probably filthy from the gardening. I'd rather he not dirty up my beauty products. Now, hop along." Harry silently whooped in triumph while remaining out of sight while Dudley sighed heavily and escorted the beauty products upstairs.
And that should have been that. Aunt Petunia picked out many shades of many colors instead of picking a normal brown or blonde. She had been indecisive. But that was okay... life would just go on normally... or well... not so much...
The next morning Harry woke to the supersonic screech of Aunt Petunia. "WHAT HAS MY BABY DONE TO HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR!?" Somehow, Dudley had got it in his head that he would look amazing with red hair. Dudley seemed to turn redder from embarrassment the longer Aunt Petunia sobbed. Harry thought he looked like an oversized Weasley almost and was hit with longing for his adoptive family. It was later that night that the thought bubble formed.
"I wonder what I would look like with red hair." Harry said to himself as he lay and looked up at his bedroom ceiling. Hedwig ruffled her feathers and hooted. Harry smiled and hopped up to let her out for her nightly hunt. "Do you think I'd look good with red hair?" Harry asked her as he opened the window. Hedwig flew to his shoulder and nipped his ear playfully before she flew off. Heaven only knows what that meant, but Harry smiled as he watched her fly off. "I bet Malfoy would have a fit if he saw me with red hair... bet his face would be priceless. But... I'd bet his mouth would just drop if I colored my hair like his..." And the thought bubble turned into a fit of laughter that Harry had to suppress (so that he didn't wake the Dursleys).
It didn't happen right away. Aunt Petunia hadn't bought a box with the right shade of blonde dye. Yet, Harry couldn't let the idea go. He never took the time to think about why he cared so much for Malfoy to have any sort of response over his hair. Just that he wanted him to have a response. Particularly a response of shock and awe strong enough for an unintentional physical reaction.
Harry couldn't get to the Weasleys fast enough that summer! Once he settled in with and had been hugged and fed out, Harry told Ron about his idea.
"Mate, did you hit your head?" Ron asked as he chewed on a muffin he had swiped from the kitchen. Harry growled as he flopped down on his bed.
"No! Just think about it! Malfoy would be completely floored." Harry said, as if that explained everything.
"Yeah, but you would be copying a Malfoy. How creepy is that?"
"Not creepy, it'd be brilliant. I could completely embarrass him." Harry replied.
"I'm not sure-"
"Let's ask Hermione." Harry interrupted with a beaming smile. Ron, unsure, just shrugged his shoulders and finished off his muffin.
Of course, Hermione lectured Harry on how impractical his idea was. She talked about how bleaching his hair would damage it, possibly make it even more unruly. She may have mentioned something about skin complexion, and she was in the middle of something about harmful chemicals when Harry blurted "isn't there a spell that I could use instead?" Hermione stopped mid-sentence and just looked at him.
"Of course there is a spell, but it's a bit tedious." Hermione said.
"So? When has that ever stopped you?" Harry asked. Hermione suddenly looked excited.
"You mean you want me to spell your hair for you?" Hopeful and full of excitement over getting to try a new spell, Hermione was quickly on board for Harry's blonde transformation. It didn't take long to find the right spell. Hermione never traveled without her small stack of large tomes. The only part about the whole spell process that proved difficult was getting the exact shade of Malfoy. Harry insisted that it'd be perfect.
"Blonde is blonde, isn't it?" Ron asked. He had enjoyed watching Hermione turn Harry's hair green, purple, some ash color, red, before they hit some sort of light blonde.
"It has to be right. It won't be funny if it isn't." Harry said. He winced at how his eyebrows stuck out with the lighter hair color. Hermione tsked.
"School isn't about being funny. It should be about learning."
"Well, then we're just learning to be exact with color, right?" Harry asked. Hermione looked thoughtful.
"I guess so." She studied Harry's hair once more. "Okay, let's try again. Now remember, the spell requires that you have the color pictured in your mind while I cast. So, it really depends on your ability to picture the right color." Hermione reminded him again. Harry sighed in nervousness and nodded.
"Okay, I'm ready."
Harry couldn't remember being more excited to board the Hogwart's Express that year than any other before. Hermione had managed to not only dye his hair Malfoy blonde, but she had used some special wizarding hair products to style it like Malfoy's. He was definitely getting odd looks and some whispers from the other students, but it was going to be totally worth it once Malfoy saw him.
But it didn't quite go as planned.
Harry managed to get sidetracked by saying his goodbyes. The train whistled and Harry and Ron had to quickly board in a rush. (Hermione had excused herself before to find them seats.) Harry was squeezing his way through the crowded corridors of the train trailing behind Ron when he felt a push from behind. A younger Hufflepuff had tripped over something and knocked Harry off his kilter. He ended up flailing into the arms of one Draco Malfoy.
He was met with the perfect eyebrow arch. Harry attempted to jump back only to find himself squished closer into Malfoy's chest thanks to another Gryffindor plowing through the corridor, knocking everyone aside. "Potter." Malfoy greeted, an amused look on his face.
Harry coughed and righted himself on his feet. "Malfoy." He replied with a bit more confrontation. Malfoy smirked. Harry suddenly felt his stomach squirm. Malfoy didn't seem shocked or confused by Harry's new hair color. In fact, Malfoy seemed like he had some sort of ace up his sleeve. Malfoy reached out and tilted Harry's chin higher in the air and turned his head this way and that. Harry may have been in enough shock himself to allow this to happen. He regained some consciousness and slapped Malfoy's hand off his chin.
"Did you miss me that much over the summer, Potter?" Malfoy cooed. Harry blushed.
"NO! W-wh.. no! Bugger off!" Harry exclaimed and turned tail to push his way toward where Ron and Hermione were. Yup, Harry's thought bubble had not gone as he planned. His awesome idea to shock Malfoy had backfired and only ended up turning on him. He was truly disappointed. He couldn't wait to get Hermione to fix his hair back and just disappear back into the crowd (as much as he could). Too bad for Harry, but Malfoy had suddenly gotten some thought bubbles of his own...