L's words echoed in his ears, of course...L must have thought like everyone else that he was weak. Why else would he think he was Kira after all, he turned away with a shiver. "I no longer want to work on this case...I've been nothing but a burden." He ran from the room, protest from the detectives following him, it didn't matter. He failed to help L, he had only hindered the investigation.
He slammed into one of the many rooms and found a corner to curl into, tears streaming down his face. He laughed, of course, he was crying. He was a weak little crybaby that couldn't do anything right. He didn't know how long he sat there before he heard movement. The clinking of fine china, and liquid being poured. He turned to find Watari setting up two cups and a few plates with what looked like a bunt-cake. "Would you like some tea and cake?" He frowned; "I don't like sweets." Watari eyed him. "It's not overly sweet, just an apple bunt-cake, if anything its very mildly sweet, it goes quite well with green tea if I do say so."
Why was Watari doing this? The man had always seemed...Distant. He wiped his face and took the seat across from Watari. "Green tea?" Watari nodded; "L and I both prefer Black tea, but I at least can enjoy a variety of teas, whereas L is less capable of handling... Change." Or of being wrong, or of someone having a crush on him and wanting to be physically close. God, why had he even bothered to tell L what had really been bothering him? How childish, how weak.
Watari slid over a slice of bunt-cake. Well, he shouldn't be rude... He sighed and took the slice of apple bunt-cake. Using his fork he took a small bite and froze, this wasn't too sweet, actually, it tasted really good. But it wasn't something he should like, sweets were not for him. A memory of his father frowning at him after his mother had given him a toffee when he was little.
"It's too sweet, thank you though." and he slid the cake away, Watari looked confused; "Raito...Is there some reason you feel the need to lie?" Oh god. He felt his face flush, "I...I'm that obvious am I?" He was just too tired to put up another lie and he hadn't been called out on a lie before, mostly because people didn't seem to know before. Not even L, or at least he had never mentioned noticing the times he'd lied to the man.
"You're not overly obvious no. I've lived a very long life and I've heard plenty of lies before. You obviously enjoyed the cake, and yet something made you push it away. Just as you felt it was better to hide away when you started to weep." He flinched at that. "It's not good to show weakness. I learned that a long time ago." Watari sighed; "It's not weak to cry Raito. It's harsh to tell someone that, where did you learn that kind of thinking?" He looked away, "My father." He whispered, now that it was out he felt sick. "He also taught you to dislike sweets as well didn't he." He nodded, he'd learned a lot of things. He was still imperfect and his father didn't even know his greatest and most dangerous weakness.
"Does he know that you harbor feelings for L?" He stood so quickly that his chair fell over. "I. I don't...That would be crazy." He couldn't look at the old man, how could he say something like that?
Watari sighed and motioned for him to sit back down. He righted his chair and sat down. "Please, Raito. I know that people who have that kind of relationship can be heavily frowned upon and hated. But, I personally find nothing wrong with such feelings." He...Was he really alright with that kind of insanity? "My father thinks its sick. That, people like that should be locked up." Watari sat back in his chair. "That is uncalled for. People cannot choose who they love, that would be locking up innocent people who have done nothing wrong." Watari really believed that he was obviously passionate about his words...
"I...I'm not sick?" Watari's jaw dropped; "Good heavens no, you're not sick Raito. It's not your fault you care about L, though it makes me wonder if you might have a bit of Stockholm. We have kept you prisoner for quite too long." It had been before that when he realized how much he actually liked L.
"I liked him when we first met...I mean, well the first time we talked, he might do some really odd things...But, he lifted the boredom from my life and it helped that he's really, really smart." Watari chuckled; "He has that kind of personality that can either drive people away or reel them in." He smiled, that sounded about right. He was pretty sure most people were driven away from him because he could be pretty harsh.
"I thought, and wrongfully at that. That you were like your father, but now I see that you and he have very little in common. Do you actually want to become a detective?" He blinked, no one had ever asked him that before. People just assumed that he wanted to be one just like his father. "I don't know." Three words he shouldn't actually utter, but he felt better now that all of this was coming out. Watari wasn't judging him...At least he didn't seem to be. Watari chuckled, "That is far more along the lines of thought that I expect from someone your age." He blinked, really? "Most people really think hard about what they want to become. Some, the lucky ones know from a very young age what they want to do when they are older, but don't exactly know how to get to that point and others have no clue." That was surprising actually, had his father been part of the former group?
"So, if you had a choice. What would you do?" He smiled lightly; "I love to learn...That actually wasn't pushed on me. I really do like it, I think I would learn as much as possible before I actually choose something." Watari was smiling, it was nice to actually see a smile on the man's face. Nice to know he had put it there and that the man wasn't faking it. "I know that this would be...A rather out of the blue kind of offer...But, would you consent to become my apprentice?" His? "Apprentice?" Watari nodded, "To become the next Watari. I am becoming very old and the stress of this case isn't doing my health any favors...I think you would make a wonderful successor to me."
A new Watari, one who helped L with all sorts of things... But that would put him close to L, the person who was currently hurting him. "I don't know if I could work with L...He. We..." Watari nodded; "I know." Those words plunged him into darkness. He knew, did he-Had he seen! "Watari, wha-Did you-See?" Watari shook his head; "Thank heavens no, but I heard some of the conversation right before and I muted the room." Oh god, that was embarrassing. "I'm sorry." Watari shook his head, "You're young, and sadly love makes us do things we wouldn't normally do." Yes like, beg someone to fuck them and he had certainly begged L to have sex with him. Begged L to take him on the floor of the bathroom like some sort of animal.
"It's unfortunate that L chose to indulge you when he might not know how he feels about you." Oh, he knew alright how he felt about him. L wanted nothing to do with him, not that way and never that way again. "I think he made it really clear what his opinion was." Watari shrugged; "Possibly, but I've never known him to crave physical touch." Never? Had L been a...A virgin like him? "He's never?" Watari sighed; "As far as I'm aware you're the first person L has ever slept with." He blinked, that was...Well, that made him feel at least a little better. "He was my first." He slapped a hand over his mouth as he felt his face heat up. Watari seemed surprised and then chuckled; "Well, I'm not sure how he'd feel about that." No, he wouldn't would he. He let his hand slip from his face, a chuckle escaping his freed mouth-before erupting into full-on laughter. Several moments later, feeling his way back from the deep end he calmed enough to take a sip of his tea and pull the cake back to himself.
"Well to your question about apprentice offer, I'd accept, of course, I'd like to go to school still however if that was possible?" Watari nodded; "I think it would be best that you do actually finish your schooling while learning to take my place." Otherwise, his father might actually say no, since he still had a say in things that happened in his life. Though if he said no he would fight back, because the thought of becoming the new Watari excited him, even if he had to work more closely with L.