A/N: Hello, people! This is my first Alex Rider fanfic, and I'm quite excited! I know that it's not the most original plot, but we have a little gender bending going on! This is only because I've always wondered what life would be like, had Alex been a girl. Being of the female species myslef, I was curious. For now, only Alex has been changed to Alexis, but she's still called Alex, and Sabina is Sam. Original, I know :/ So review, give me feedback, but don't be harsh to the poor, new author. And you never know, I might respond ;)

Disclaimer: As much as the thought of being Anthony Horowitz is appealing to me, I'm not him. Therefore, I don't own anything he does :)

"Lex, I'm sorry. Sam's University is taking him further and further away from home, Edward's leg is troubling him again and there's going to be a new addition to the family." Liz Pleasure sighed, looking down at her bulging stomach, a vessel of new life. She looked at her adopted daughter, who she knew was trying to put on a brave face. "It's alright, Liz. I understand. Really, I do. I guess that MI6 are just going to have to find me a new guardian. I mean, it's not as if I haven't been pushed around from pillar to post before," she added, bitterly. Liz grimaced sympathetically. She only hoped that Britain's Secret Service would understand her predicament.

That is how Alexis Helen Rider found her way on a plane, back to England.

"Alex! Alex! Wake up! We're here!" Sam Pleasure was all but screaming in his sort-of sister/ ex-girlfriend's ear. She replied with the erection of her favourite finger. "Charming. But you need to get up. By the way, sexy bed hair." He grinned and avoided the good-natured punch aimed for his shoulder. Alex sighed and sorted out her hair. She found a mirror and wiped away all the smudged eyeliner and tried to make herself look more or less presentable. She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, an Aztec-style sweater and a black scarf. On her feet were black Converses and she was wearing black earrings, in the same style as her necklace. Practical, yet will hopefully make a good impression on her new guardian. He and Sam, along with Liz and Edward Pleasure, eventually got off the plane and into Heathrow Airport. After going through all the paperwork and procedures for immigration and such, they finally made it out, and were on their way to Liverpool Street. They were on track to the Royal and General Bank.

"Here goes nothing," muttered Alex, wishing she was anywhere but here. She walked up to the information desk. "Hi. I'm Alex Rider; I've come to meet Mrs Jones. I've brought my guardians with me. I think we have an appointment?" The secretary smiled. "I'm sorry, dear; I think you must be mistaken. There is no employer in our bank who goes by the name of "Mrs Jones". You could try Barclay's, down the road, I'm-sure- , "She faltered under Alex's glare. "Listen, I know for a fact that there is a Mrs Jones, here. I've worked with her before. Her first name is probably Tulip, and she likes peppermints. Happy?"

The secretary lost her dizzy attitude at once. She typed something up onto the computer and picked up the phone. "Mrs Jones? Alex Rider and… family, to see you." They were led upstairs, to Mrs Jones' room. Alex glanced at Sam and Liz, before bringing her fist up to the door, then paused. Fuck it, she thought and barged straight in, Liz, Edward and Sam following suite. In front of them stood Mrs Jones, arms crossed and a disapproving expression on her face. "Well, well, well. Alex Rider. It's been too long," she said. Alex raised an eyebrow. Not in my world. She sat down as Liz began to talk. She told the situation to Mrs Jones, whose eyebrows lifted higher and higher by each sentence. If she doesn't stop, she'll lose them altogether, thought Alex. At the end of her tale, Mrs Jones nodded. "Well, Alex, we've chosen a guardian for you. We thought it would be best for you to have someone you know already. I'll tell you who it is when you have said your goodbyes to the Pleasures." She looked pointedly at Alex.

Outside Mrs Jones' office, Alex hugged Liz and Edwards, wishing them and the baby well. They walked on, telling Sam they would wait outside. Sam turned to Alex. "'Bye Sam," Alex said, "Text when you get back to America. E-mail, phone-"

"-Write, text, telegraph. I know, Lex. Bye." And with that, Alex's future with the Pleasures disappeared. She sighed, wearily, and walked back into Mrs Jones' office. Inside, Mrs Jones was looking on with something akin to sympathy. "Now, Alex, your guardian has had an injury and is on desk-job, which made it quite convenient for us to choose him. Although he has a real name, I believe you know him as Wolf."

Diego Montez swore as he walked along to Mrs Jones' office. I'm a fucking SAS troop. I mean, what the fuck? A fucking ward. I have to babysit for some agent, who's injured. Why can't his parents look after him? Probably off "saving the world". Huh. He arrived at the office and stared at the door. With all his might, he knocked and entered. Inside were Mrs Jones and someone who was most likely to be his new responsibility. He shot a withering at the back of her head before he caught the attention of Mrs Jones. "Ah! Wolf! Come and sit. You know you're new ward, although she might have… changed a bit." Wolf did as he was told, his sharp eyes on the girl. He examined her smirking face and looked blankly at Mrs Jones. "No? I thought so. You SAS grunts were never as sharp as our spies," she sniffed.
"This is Alexis Helen Rider, also known as Cub".

Wolf jumped. His mouth was wide open. "Careful, Wolf. There are lots of flies in here, and I'm sure they don't want to be in your mouth at the moment", commented Cub.

"But you're a…"

"Yes."

"But you used to be a…"

"It seems like it."

"What was wrong with you, gender issues or something? And you!" he glared at Mrs Jones. " I thought you wanted me to look after a "top-notch agent, who has protected the country too many times to count on my fingers!"".

Alex cut in before Mrs Jones got a word in edgeways. "Well, you see, Wolf, I am he. Or he is me. Or she is me. Pick what you want. But I have been on missions before; I was an agent until two years ago. In all my missions, including when I was training with K-Unit, I dressed like a boy: I cut my hair off, didn't put make-up on, and bound my- ahem…" Alex trailed off with a grin. Wolf sat back in his chair, letting out a whoosh of air.

Oh shit.

So, Voila! Chapter 1! I might be able to get the next tomorrow, though probably the day after, depending on feedback.

Ta ra from your favourite banana x