Fine Dreams

Chapter 1

Spring, 1893

It was tough getting up in the morning now. Muscles and joints ached, and pain even shot through like fire, just because she was trying to get out of bed. Victoria sighed again, just like every other morning, when she succeeded in sitting up. She sighed and remembered better days.

Someone knocked on the door. "Come in."

"Good morning, Grandmother!" Victoria Marie said cheerfully.

Victoria smiled, her heart lifted at the sight of her granddaughter coming to her and hugging her. Victoria Marie was 12 years old now, growing up, and so beautiful a girl it was stunning. Victoria had forgotten that the Wheelers had stayed over after the party. "Good morning, darling," Victoria said and kissed her granddaughter. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Did you?" Victoria Marie asked.

"I did indeed," Victoria said. "Is everybody else awake already?"

"Yes, but we haven't had breakfast yet. I've been helping Silas fix it."

"You have? I'll bet he appreciates that."

Audra was at the door now, and she came in after her daughter. "Vicki, I was wondering where you got to. Did you wake your grandmother up?"

"No, she didn't," Victoria said. "I was just getting myself up."

"Why don't you run back downstairs and see if can do anything more for Silas?" Audra said to Victoria Marie.

"All right!" she said and went back out the door.

Victoria climbed slowly to her feet, reaching for the cane she now used for support. Audra still came to her side and took hold of her arm. "Do you need any help getting ready for the day?" Audra asked.

"Not really," Victoria said, "but I'd like to wear pantaloons today. I'm thinking you and I might go riding. Would you lay them out for me?"

"Oh, I'd love going riding," Audra said. "Shall I ask Vicki to come along?"

"Actually, I thought you and I might have a talk while we ride, so I'd rather you find something for her to do around here. If she asks, just tell her we need some mother-daughter time. She'll understand."

"She probably will," Audra said as she fetched her mother's riding pants and shirt from out of the chifferobe. "She's such an easy child, it's amazing."

Victoria went to the basin on the dresser and washed her face. "You know, I think I won't make up my face today. It doesn't feel so good against my skin anymore, and once you get a face full of dust, well, what's the point? Will you help me get my hair up?"

"Certainly," Audra said. "Get dressed and then we'll take care of it."

Victoria made her way back to the bed, removed her nightgown and sat down on the bed to pull her slacks on. "You know, I think I really need to get a maid in here to help me in the morning. Things go so much more smoothly when I have help."

Audra cleaned up some spilled water at the dresser and said, "I can ask in town for some recommendations."

Victoria pulled her blouse on and began to button it. "Thank you. I'd appreciate that."

It wasn't very long before Victoria was ready for the day, having finished everything she needed to do. Audra walked beside her as they went downstairs. Victoria did very well holding onto the bannister, but her days of tripping lightly down the big staircase were over. She and Audra went straight to the dining room, where Audra's husband Carl and their two daughters, and Nick and his wife and son, and Maggie and her son J.J. were already gathered.

"My goodness, this is getting to be a crowded table," Victoria said as she took her place at the end opposite Nick.

The men and boys had stood up when she entered, and Carl held her chair for her as she sat down. "Just be glad we got the longer table," Nick said.

The male Barkleys sat down again after Victoria and Audra were seated. Victoria led the blessing, as usual, and then everyone began to dig in.

Victoria said to Vicki, "Vicki, darling, your mother and I are going riding together this morning and we'd like it if you and Amanda could stay here and help Silas get ready for lunch."

Their houseman was getting on in years and needed the help – particularly the good eyesight. Vicki said, "Of course, Grandmother," even though secretly she wished she were going along.

"Going anywhere in particular, Mother?" Nick asked.

"Oh, to visit your father's grave, I suppose, but mainly we just need some time to talk," Victoria said.

"Not leaving the property?"

"No, dear, we'll stay on property," Victoria said.

"I suspect the ladies will be talking about us," Carl said.

"Now, whatever gave you that idea?" Audra asked with a grin.

"You always talk about us when we're not around, don't you?" Nick said.

"No, not always," Victoria said, "but in this case, we might." Then she looked up and saw how far away the other end of the long table really was. "My goodness, Jarrod, you're halfway to your office in town."

Everyone stopped for a moment. Victoria was beginning to mix things up a little bit these days. Nothing new, but it still stung to know such a healthy, vital woman was beginning to slip.

"I'm Nick, Mother," Nick said.

"Oh," Victoria said, and then she covered for herself. "Well, you're so far away I couldn't tell."

Everyone chuckled and left it at that. The rest of breakfast was filled with eating and small talk. After they were finished eating, Nick was off to the herd. J.J. was nearly 13 now and Nick was taking him along, much to his son Tony's dislike. "Next year," Nick told him.

"It's boring, anyway," J.J. told Tony secretly.

Nick took his sister aside secretly and whispered, "Look out for the both of you, all right? You know Mother isn't as tough as she used to be."

"Why don't we go out to the herd when we're winding down, and bring J.J. back in with us?" Audra asked.

"Good idea, but we'll see if J.J. wants to come back in when you're out there," Nick said. "Sometimes he wants to spend all day – sometimes there's more of Jarrod in him and he wants to come back in and read a book."

Audra remembered her mother's mistake at the table. "Sometimes I wonder if Mother even remembers Jarrod is gone. Lately, she's even mentioned Father once or twice as if he were still alive."

"I know," Nick said, "and that's why I want you to keep an extra close eye on her. The past slips in on her when she least expects it to these days."

"Don't worry," Audra said. "I'll take good care of her."

Nick kissed his sister on the forehead. "Have a nice ride."

XXXXXXXXXX

On horseback, Victoria almost seemed to be as young as she ever was. She had no trouble controlling her horse, even at a gallop, nor did she have any trouble seeing where she was going. It looked a little funny, having her cane hanging from the saddle, but it was good to have it handy as she and Audra dismounted at the graves of her husband, her son and Jarrod's first wife Beth. Audra tethered the horses as Victoria went to the graves and looked down.

Audra joined her, and saw the tears on her mother's face. She took Victoria by the arm. "You know," Victoria said, "when I think about how long they've all been gone, especially your father, I wonder where the time went. It seems like it all happened a hundred years ago and yet, it seems like they were here yesterday."

"I know," Audra said.

"It wasn't just this slip I had about Jarrod at the breakfast table," Victoria said. "There have been mornings I've awakened and reached over for your father, thinking he was still there."

Audra didn't know what to say.

Victoria sighed. "Audra," she said, very carefully, "I know I've been slipping more often, and with my birthday rolling around again yesterday, I've been thinking more about my future."

Audra rubbed her mother's arm, but didn't say anything.

"Help me down a bit," Victoria said.

Audra helped her mother kneel before Tom Barkley's headstone. Victoria kissed her fingers and touched her husband's name.

"Twenty-three years now, Audra," Victoria said. "How could so much time have gone by?"

Audra fumbled for words, but finally said, "It's just life, Mother. Time goes by because life still goes on. And we've had wonderful lives, too. Father would be very happy."

Victoria smiled. "Yes, he would. And I think he'd be proud at how well we've carried on, how well Nick has kept the ranch going. If I have any regrets, it's actually that he never got to meet Heath. He'd have been so proud of him."

"And of us," Audra said. "He'd be proud we've made such a good family, including Heath."

"Yes, he would. Rest easy, my darling," Victoria said to her husband then. Then she looked over at her son Jarrod's stone. "You look after your father and Beth, Jarrod."

"He will," Audra said.

Audra helped as Victoria started to get back up. Victoria sighed once the effort had her on her feet, and before they went back to their horses, she said, "There's someplace else I'd like to go – that spot near the creek where your father and I planned out our life together."

Audra smiled. She knew the spot well. She helped her mother back to her horse and got her up in the saddle, then she mounted her own horse. They galloped off together as if they were two girls on holiday.