There are trigger, or mentions of things that could possibly be triggers, at the bottom. So, if you haven't read the full description, head down before reading.

I was in the infirmary. It's a very bright, white place that smells like a wide range of antibiotics, rubbing alcohol and old dried-up blood. I always thought it took up a little too much space and wasted a little too much money on personal projects, cures and such.

Micheal thought so too, but he's been dead months now. So has Silena, but she stopped caring about anything after "Charlie" died and left me in charge.

That is the second biggest mistake she ever made. I never liked any of my siblings, Hades I don't really like people, so I did what I always had done. I kept up my image, flirted with any attractive male, and kept everyone on a tight leash. I knew I was slowly running everything Silena stood for into the ground. I didn't really care.

Then Jackson went MIA again and three new kids crashed in the lake and then Rachel gave a prophecy. Then Piper got claimed by mom and got her own ticket to go on a quest with the other two new kids, one hot and one not. Piper didn't like the way I ran things, said it wasn't what mom would have wanted. she was so much like Silena, kind, a leader, brave, and just everything I'm not.

After the trio came back from saving Hera, Piper challenged me. I knew it would come someday, Piper just sped up the process. The thing is, I didn't want to fight her just like never wanted to be head counselor. It looked weak turning tail as she said to stay away from Jason. I didn't want Jason, I never did, not like her.

My whole cabin has shunning me since then, three days, and we all know this a forgive and forget deal. I had been cruel, mean, and basically tortured them since day one, I didn't deserve forgiveness, I wasn't Silena. I wasn't Piper. All I'm ever going to be is me. I'm Drew.

Maybe once upon a time that was good enough, but it isn't know. I don't believe in love anymore. I wonder if I ever actually and I don't know the answer.

I took another swig of bad beer from the Stolls, Coca Cola, and berry cough syrup. I looked at the mirror to my left. I looked high, depressed, and insane. I still looked pretty. I'm not pretty.

I heard a knock and looked up to see Will Solace. I've never talked to him much, just a passing greeting and barely anything after Micheal died. I didn't like the fact he took Micheal's place. I thought he would be angry to find me wasting cough syrup, but instead looked concerned. That big heart will be the death of him.

Then he spoke in a whisper "Drew should stop drinking that."

I glare at him. "I know I can get high, I've been doing it since I was eight and I'm not a light weight Will."

He doesn't look as shocked as I thought he would. "You know you can overdose and die too?" I dropped the plastic red solo and the contents spread across the white tile floor. "I'm going to take it that you didn't know that."

"I could have died."

"Yes, you could have."

It was shocking to think about it. The escape route was right in front of me and I never realized. Anger suddenly flowed through me.

"Why the Hades did you stop me Will."

Will gave a look like a school counselor. "Why do you want to kill yourself?"

I know my face is getting red form anger and tears forming in my eyes. "Why the fuck do you care! You don't know me, I don't know you, so just leave me alone."

I sitting on a bed now my, face in hands. I felt Will sit down on the other end.

"I'm a healer, but I'm also a fixer."

I look at him and for a second think he does his owns drugs, it would make sense why he's always so gods damn happy. Then I realize he isn't and push the thought away. He wants me to talk to him.

"So, what do you fix?"

"People."

I look up and scowl at him. "I'm not broken and even if I was, maybe I can't be fixed."

Will sighed. "It's the only thing I'm good, so either start talking or I'll do the talking for you and fill in the blanks."

"I don't do therapy."

Will looked at me. "Your mortal parent never cared about you and probably called Aphrodite a bitch for leaving him with a kid he didn't want. I know your rich because you wear Tiffany jewelry, so he either hired a nanny, sent you to a boarding school, or both. You felt, and still feel unloved, but that didn't push you over the edge. Someone hurt you, and you act like it never happened."

"Stop." I whisper silently, but he goes on.

"You don't trust people. You get angry easily and you have trouble dealing with emotions. Looking back on your early years at camp, you always seemed depressed and in almost a mourning state. Micheal stopped that briefly, but now you're back to square one. At times you scratch yourself, but never more than that. You've been thinking about killing yourself before. You don't do relationships, at all. You wear make-up you don't need."

"Stop." I say a little bit louder.

"You throw yourself at guys, which is weird but my best guess is that if you throw yourself at them then it's on your terms. It's a cover and a coping tool. Do you want to tell me why Drew or should I say it?"

Tears were streaming down my face and Will passes me a tissue box. I sob for a minute or so, while he rubs my back. I want to deny it, I've been denying it for years, but either way he knows the truth. Might as well say it.

"I was sexually abused and raped from eight to fourteen, I stopped going back home after that. My dad used me to make business deals easier and to have the perfect blackmail if they didn't follow through."

I didn't stop there, no I kept blabbing.

"Micheal, he understood what I was going through even though I never told him directly. He went through the same thing as me only on a lesser scale. I.. I don't know how I felt about him but I was crushed when he died. Do you have idea what that's like?"

I was a mess now, but I didn't care. I felt like a weight had been lifted of off me. I also felt vulnerable, but for once I was okay with that.

"I know what it feels like to lose people Drew." I look up at Will. He doesn't look angry for me being a self centered bitch, but sad for those lost. "My big brothers, Lee and Micheal, both were great and I feel like a fake at times. I can't fight, play an instrument, my singing is below average, I can't see the future, and I'm not a leader. Somehow, I had to take a role I couldn't fill."

We were both so very alike, only I am hated and he is loved. I signal Will to keep talking because he deserves to feel relief, to let someone help him.

"My mortal mom thinks my dad and I aren't mentally stable. I'm over the fact she doesn't want to see me and live year round. I've lost other siblings and friends in the war like anyone else. I feel regret for all I couldn't save, but that doesn't stop me from being a healer. There's this boy, that never sticks around long enough to talk to or get to, and I've liked him for years."

I, along with all those left from the Titan War days, know Will Solace likes boys. He came out before the end and I get why he hasn't done it again now that there are, like, over a hundred newbies in summer. That would be like me telling random people about my past, my baggage, and I would only be able to do that once too.

I didn't know he had been pinning after someone for years. I felt angry at that boy. Didn't he know Will cared far too much and all it would take to break him would be a well placed I hate you? Did he ever speak to Will? Did Will ever have the balls to speak to him? Did he even know who Will was?

"Sounds like your boy toy's the one who needs to be fixed Will."

I was a little surprised to be met with a glare and crossed arms. "I know he's not perfect, no one is, I just ... At the most, I only have had three conversations with him, two being for medical purposes, but I feel like I know him. I feel like I can help, but I hope he never needs it. I want him to be happy again, or well, as happy as he can be."

For a split second, I was reminded of Silena and Beckendorf, Clarisse and Chris, Grover and Juniper, Percy and Annabeth, and all the others that have come and gone. It also reminded me of myself and Micheal. I held back the tears forming in my eyes, because for a second, I was reminded how very real love is. Then it was gone, only to be left with heartache.

Will started looking at me a little softer. "I get where you're coming from Drew. Kayla says the same things in more poetic ways," we both smile at that,"but I care about him, maybe too much. He'll probably never like me, he kind acts like everyone hates him or like he's living with a bunch of ghosts-"

"It's Nico Di Angelo." I personally, couldn't get a reading on his preferences because he guarded all emotions with care. Then again, if I was from the forties and gay maybe I would too. Besides that, I knew the boy was about Will's age and not much else.

Will blushed, confirming my guess. Nico, you are blind if you can't notice Will the next time you visit camp.

"Okay Will, how's about I give you a little advice." I crack my knuckles. "If you really care this much, don't give up. Try to be his friend and help him, because he does need it Will."

Will smiles at me. "You still high Tanaka?"

I shake my head. "No Solace, not any more." I don't I will be ever again.

Okay, I know I should be updating my other stories, but this came to be at random and I thought it was worth a shot. Also, you are free to stay this is bad because of something called the review box. If anyone would like to see more of this changing Drew, say so because it will stay a one shot other wise. And if it wasn't clear by the hints of Solangelo (love them) or the DrewXMicheal, I don't ship these two.

TRIGGERS

Sexual Abuse

Semi Suidical

Depression