Disclaimer: You all know that don't belong to me.

Lula's POV

"I can't believe I'm here. I mean I was hungry. Anyway the neighborhood was having a BBQ. Some group started giving assistance to the kids to keep outta trouble and off the streets. They are also starting to try helping my peeps on the streets. Ya know, ho's work hard and if you ain't gotta pimp you can get screwed and not in a pleasurable way. Ya here what I'm saying? Anyway, things have been slow at the bond's office. White Girl has been helping that hot piece of ass Ranger because no one has been skipping until recently. With all the bad weather skips were showing for their court dates or simply staying in jail.

Anyways, I ain't had no donuts or Cluck in a Bucket or even Mickey D's. I mean I can't indulge when I barely make my rent. Sometimes Connie brings in food to share and Vinnie even bought us donuts a few times. White Girl came by with lunch a few times. I even lost twenty pounds. I mean I'm still a big, beautiful black woman but now I'm a little less big. I can still wear my beautiful clothes which is good, that's the good thing about spandex.

So I get to the BBQ down the street from my apartment. It was a big block party. The DJ that was hired had some kickin' tunes going. People were dancing. Then they had tables and tables of food. There were burgers and cheeseburgers, grilled sausage patties and hot dogs. They had a topping bar and said it was for National Burger Day. Then they had another table with pasta salad, macaroni salad, potato salad, chips, Doritos, salsa and dips. They even had tossed salad. There were tubs of ice with soda and water too. Then they had two huge sheet cakes for dessert. Can you believe it?

I was having a great time. I was eating with my best friend Jackie. Jackie was trying to get clean and had been taking classes at the local beauty school. We were sitting with a group of our friends and laughing it up.

I decided I wanted another burger, I mean I only ate three. I gotta make sure I get my fair share. So I walked up to the table and saw there was one left and I stuck my fork into. Only it wasn't in the burger, I hit the plastic dish. I saw some bitch eating my burger. I screamed, 'What the hell are you doing Charmaine?'

Charmaine sneered, 'I'm getting a burger. I deserve one burger when everyone has watched your fat ass eat three along with all those dishes of salad and two pieces of cake.'

I was so mad, how dare she call me a fat ass? I just remember a blinding rage and I lunged forward and next thing I knew Charmaine was spurting blood."

I watched Supercop shake his head and give me that arrogant smirk before saying, "That's your story of self-defense?" I nodded and he said, "I need a verbal answer."

"Yes, it was self-defense. I was starving to death," I pouted.

He sighed and said, "I'm sorry Lula, but you're under arrest for the murder of Charmaine Lefever. You have the right to remain silent and anything you say can be used against you."

I was shocked; I mean Supercop has been trying to get back with White Girl. I thought for sure he'd let me go. He stepped to the door and Robin Russell came in. She took me to booking where I got my mug shot. I can't believe it and I had really bad gas. I mean people ran from the damn room holding their nose but left me in there. I almost passed out. Everyone knows I get diarrhea around cops.

I'm now sitting in a jail cell, charged with murder. That rat bastard Vinnie won't bail me out. Even Tank and Ranger won't help get me out of jail. Everyone said I'm guilty. And who's my court appointed defense attorney? None other than Dickie Orr. That man hates me. He told me to plead insanity and let them send me to the psychiatric hospital. They might help me with my eating disorder. I ain't got no eating disorder.

I heard the cops joking they were gonna pull a Lula Tremont on you. You may be asking what that means. Well, I'll tell ya – I stabbed that bitch Charmaine in the eye with a fork for eating the last burger on National Burger Day. And she died over taking my burger. I can do the insanity thing. I may try stabbing Dickie Orr in the eye with a pen if he doesn't bring me any chocolate, I'm getting my period and everyone know a woman needs her chocolate for that.