The scorching summer heat made it far too hot for anyone to be able to sleep. Or at least, it was too hot for Chris to sleep. He had been twisting and turning in the bed the last hours now, not being able to find the sleep he wanted, or needed.
By his side laid Lukas and slept soundly, not seeming to be bothered by the warmth at all. How his boyfriend could sleep through a heatwave was beyond him.
Chris looked around their bedroom, looked at the pictures on the walls, the things they kept on their nightstand, and at the bathroom door. He had considered taking a cold shower, but he feared that the old pipes in the wall would complaint too much and then wake Lukas. Even he could not sleep through that horrid sound.
He should probably do something about them, change them himself perhaps, or maybe even ask Berwald for help, just maybe. It would be bad to get a flood in this old house, which Lukas loved so much.
Chris looked at Lukas sleeping, admiring his sleeping face and stroked his fingers gently through Lukas's hair. It was not often that Chris got to see Lukas in such a state, since Chris was often the one to fall asleep first and Lukas the one to wake up first. To get these small moments were he could see his boyfriend at peace was nice. More than ever now.
Lately, things had not been going so smoothly between them. They seemed to want different things in life at this point. Chris was ready to start thinking about adopting a kid, starting a family, like Berwald and Tino had done just the previous year. Their son Peter was so sweet, and Chris just wanted to be a father to someone. He wanted to love, care and raise someone. However, Lukas said that he was not ready yet, he wanted to be able to still travel and explore, and not have to worry about a kid when doing so. He wanted to have Chris for himself a few more years. And Chris absolutely understood that… kind of, but he could not help that he wanted a family with the person he loved.
Chris had actually thought that Lukas would jump in excitement when he brought it up. Chris knew how much Lukas loved his little brother and how much he had cared for him and raised him. But, that was not what had happened. Lukas had looked shocked, and almost kind of hurt when Chris had mentioned adoption.
They had not had much time to discuss the matter after it had been mentioned. Chris had brought it up while they were on their way to work, but that had perhaps not been the best time to do so. However, he felt like Lukas could have done a better effort to try to discuss it with him. He had just said no to the idea, without an explanation and after that had it been like Lukas had avoided him.
He had cancelled all of their coffee break dates they usually had. He had started to take his own car to get to work, and he was like a ghost at home. Impossible to find, or to have around for long.
He just did not understand why Lukas acted like that, why did he not want a child? Why was he being so hard to talk to, just because of that?
Chris stopped stroking his finger through Lukas's hair. He knew that he should not feel bitter about something like this. His boyfriend was allowed to not want to have a kid, without Chris sulking and feeling bitter about it.
He just wished that he could understand how Lukas could not want a child. Or maybe he did not want a child with him…
Thoughts like that were dangerous. Chris shocked his head, trying to get rid of them, but they stayed. He started to feel depressed and a little angry. He felt like he wanted to smash something, to yell out loud.
It was time to take that shower after all. It would be for the best, and Lukas would probably manage to sleep through it.
Chris came out from the bathroom, drying his wet hair, and luckily feeling colder and less emotional. He looked to the bed, but it was empty… he cursed silently, tough he had an idea for where to look.
Chris walked down the stairs and looked around, and there in the kitchen sat Lukas and drank coffee. He was staring sleepily out of the window, looking at their garden. He was probably thinking that they needed to water the plants when morning came.
Chris sat himself down over Lukas and also looked out of the window.
"This heat can't be good for the flowers." Chris said and looked to Lukas.
Lukas looked at Chris in a slow motion. If he had just noticed him now or had heard him come down the stairs was not easy to tell. He drank from his coffee again and then looked back to the garden.
"Having trouble sleeping?" Lukas asked, though not looking at Chris.
Lukas was actually inviting him to a conversation. Chris felt happy, but that bitterness also came with it.
"Yeah, this heatwave is making it hard to sleep." Chris said, keeping his eyes on Lukas.
"Sure it is the heat that is bothering you?" Lukas said and looked at Chris again.
So he knew then. He knew that the adoption thing was still on his mind.
"What do you mean?" Chris asked as if he did not know what Lukas was hinting at.
"It is not your thoughts keeping you up?" Lukas clarified.
"You mean the whole adoption thing? Nah…or, sure I still think about it, but I will respect that you said no." Chris wanted to be the good guy in this, and not push it any further.
However Lukas did not seem impressed by his choice of words.
"Do you understand why I said no?" Lukas said with the coffee mug raised to his lips.
Chris had to think for a bit, but the answer was clear. He actually did not understand why Lukas would say no.
"I really don't. You always talked about how glad you were to raise Emil, and I though you would like to share the responsibility this time with me, with a child of our own." Chris admitted.
Lukas sighed and looked out of the window again.
For a long time did they just sit there, not talking. The clock in the kitchen ticked and tocked, the walls creaked in complaint from the warmth. A silent breeze rolled over the garden making the tree leafs flutter slightly. An owl had found its place on top of the garden shed, and was looking curiously at something on the ground. Perhaps a mouse.
Lukas sipped from his coffee and Chris drummed his fingers on the table, getting impatient. It was not an awkward silence, more like a silence were you expect something to happen soon.
"I love the fact that I got the honour of raising Emil after our parents died. It was tough, but I would not change any of it if I could. However, I lost my teenage years raising Emil, making sure that he got a childhood and teenage years that he could look back to and smile at. I have memories that I cherish from that time that got nothing to do with Emil, but I would just like to have some more time with you. To build memories. I would love to get a kid later on, and I get that you feel ready now, but can it not just be the two of us for a few more years?" Lukas said looking at Chris and having these begging eyes.
Chris suddenly felt like the biggest douche ever. All his bitterness disappeared, and was replaced with guilt. He had known Lukas when he lost his parents, and he had seen how much Lukas had offered to take care for Emil. All the parties he had said no to, the opportunities for relationships, having to get a job, and he even declined going on the class trip. Lukas had given so much of himself by raising Emil alone, and now he just wanted to be selfish for once and have Chris for himself for a few more years. Before they brought a child into their life.
Chris strokes his finger through his hair and then looked straight at Lukas.
"I'm so sorry. I just thought about how happy you were for having raised Emil, that I thought that you would jump at the chance of getting to do it again…" Chris said apologetic. He got up from his chair and stepped behind Lukas's, and then he hugged him.
"I know that I said I was ready now, and I still am, but I'll wait until you feel the same. Until then, let's have the time of our life together. Let's build as many memories as you want. And, when we finally do get a child…or more, we'll cherish them like you cherished, and still cherish Emil." Chris said content.
Lukas had a small smile on his face, he looked up at Chris and kissed him on the cheek. He untangled himself from Chris and started to walk to the stairs.
"We could though get a cat or two, perhaps?" Lukas said and looked behind at Chris with an asking look.
"Cat's… huh. Never thought about it before, but we do have the space. Though why two?"
"So that they won't be lonely of course."
"What if they don't like each other?"
"Then we'll just have to teach them to get along, at least." Lukas said and smiled.
"Why not" Chris said with a bright grin.
"Two energetic cats would be nice." Chris said and walked towards Lukas.
"I was hoping for some calm couch cats, actually." Lukas said and pouted.
Chris looked at his boyfriend and then he laughed. He laughed so that his tears fell. He had to hold onto the railing of the stairs to get support because he laughed so hard. Then he hugged Lukas again and kissed him hard on the lips.
"Were back to normal, right?" he said in a relived tone.
"Yes we are." Lukas said and gave a small kiss back to Chris.
They both went upstairs hand in hand to their bedroom.
Chris could still not sleep because of the warmth, though this time it was because of a completely different kind of warmth.
A few days later did they both come home with a box with two cats in it. They were both quite fluffy, but that was where their similarities ended. One of them was white with big brown/blond spots, the other one was completely white. They named the brown/blond spotted one Mathias, and the white one Thomas.
As the days went by, could they see that the cats got along well enough. Mathias seemed to be energetic and always wanting to play, or go outside, while Thomas was calm and could often be found on the couch. Thomas did not liked to be disturbed when he slept, unless it was Lukas doing so. And, Mathias had a habit of eating up anything in either his bowl or Thomas's, if there was anything left. The two cats seemed to keep their distance from each other at first. However, after Lukas and Chris stumble in on them playing together one time did they suddenly start to be more around each other. Now they could often be found playing, sleeping or eating together.
The house felt more alive after they got the cats, and Chris could not wait until a child would occupy the house as well. Until then he would be the best uncle peter could have. He had already offered to babysit Peter when Tino and Berwald felt like having an evening off or even a weekend.
This one was a lot of fun to write and it's not angst…yay!
I have been having some issues writing lately, but I feel like I'm more back in the game now. Unfortunately, I decided to stop writing on: From winter to summer, and I have taken it down… Sorry, to those who followed it.
This Fanfiction, also my fanfic Insomnia is part of a series of writing prompts created by RayneWolfspeaker on deviantart.
I don't know if I'll be doing them all, maybe if I get some good ideas for them.
Betaed by BlessYou
Thank you for reading.
Word count: 2012.
Happiness: 8-10.
Stress: 4-10.