Disclaimer: Well, JK Rowling owns most of it. Random others own anything else. I don't think I even own the plot! Oh, well.
Something Sweet: Intern Hell
Through zere is ze dining room an' through zere is the V.I.P lounge. Zis is se kitchen. Ceci est mon chef cuisinier de patisserie de tete, Sirius Black. Il est votre nouveau dieu, comprendrez?"
Oh, yes. Remus understood very well and if this was his doom then he needed doom far more often.
Sirius Black was a gorgeous man with laughing grey eyes, a strong jaw, and curls as dark as his name. The sculpted body was rolling out very floured dough and was liberally splattered with chocolate.
Death by chocolate covered beau garcon, mused Remus.
"Sirius, zis is your aide, make sure he knows what iz expected, comprendrez?"
"Sure thing, Mr. De le Croix." mumbled Black, busy poking small holes in the dough circles.
Jean-Claude De le Croix left in a huff, obviously used to Black's haughty attitude. Remus didn't care as long as he could stare at the gorgeous man before him.
"Parlez-vous anglais?"
"Que?"
Black grunted, clearly irritated, "Parlez-vous…anglais?"
"Oh, yes. Yes, I do." Remus stuttered, hastily straightening up.
"Good. I can't stand self-absorbed French kids. You'll soon learn what I do and don't like. I'm not telling you, either. Self-learning is what I preach. Go sit in that corner and be silent." Black waved and impatient hand at a stool in the far corner.
"Ah, what?"
"You. Corner. Sit. Silent."
"You want me to sit in a corner?" asked Remus, eyebrow raised.
"Mon dieu! Are you hard of hearing or just stupid? Assayez vous dans la chaise fichue et fermez votre bouche!
Remus walked to the chair and sat, pulling at the frayed edges of his coat. He was hotter than sin, Sirius Black, but had a horrid attitude.
"What did you say your name was?"
"I thought you told me to be silent?" mumbled Remus, jumping as a wooden spatula went hurling past his ear, "Lupin. It's Lupin."
Black grinned, "See? I knew we'd get along fine."
If this was how Black was friendly, he didn't want to see him pissed off.
/page break/
Remus grinned and held his hands out for the chef's coat that was being handed to him. The poor kid was about to be crucified by his new god. Remus had been working under Sirius for two months now and knew the ins and outs of the temperamental man. The newest kitchen boy was about to get reamed to within an inch of his young life. It wasn't really the kid's fault. He had accidentally slipped and dumped an entire bowl full of egg yolks on Black's head. It was rather funny if one though about it for too long.
Remus hung the stained white coat over his arm and sat back to watch the show. The other pastry chefs and kitchen hands watched as well. It was well known that when Black removed his chef's coat he was pissed off. When the coat came off and the black t-shirt and jeans came into view, the person on the receiving end was toast.
The sounds of Black yelling and cursing soon filled the small pastry kitchen and floated out into the, luckily, unopened dining room. De le Croix shook his head from where he sat in his office on the second floor. The hostesses giggled in excitement and wished they were back with all the action.
Edward McMasters quivered in fear as his idol tore into him. He hadn't meant to slip! There was just too much water on the floor. Whoever had mopped earlier hadn't done a very good job.
Sirius stormed out of the kitchen, flinging the boy one last look. Remus placed the ruined coat on the stainless steel workplace and moved toward the frightened boy. He was only sixteen, Sirius shouldn't have cursed at him that much. Poor thing probably had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder now. Remus had heard of assistants who had gotten it from working under black.
"Edward? Are you okay?" Remus placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, getting a startled look.
"Yeah, I guess. He just...and I…I don't…"
It's all right. Come on, let's get you some fresh air." Remus walked Edward out of the kitchen door, making him sit on the cement step.
"I just wanted him to like me He's my idol, you know."
"Yes, I know. You sure picked one hell of a person to idolize. Black isn't known for his kindness. Don't worry though; I've had it happen to me. So has everyone in that kitchen. You've just got to move beyond it." Remus put an arm around Edward, hoping that this was helping.
Edward gave him a small smile and nodded. Remus knew that he would be okay; it just took time to get used to Black's little quirks.
"So, does he always do that?"
"What? Yell and curse like a sailor? Yeah, he does. You get used to it after a while though. Occasionally he'll curse in French. He doesn't as much because half the people in there are French and it isn't nearly as much fun for him. He cursed me out in Swahili once; that was interesting. He told me later that learning new languages was a hobby of his. I think that's about as open as he gets."
"Wow. What other languages does he know?" Remus laughed, Edward was so adorable sometimes. He was so into the horrid man that he couldn't see beyond the buttons on Black's coat.
"Well, he knows French, German, Swahili curse words, Chinese, and Russian. I've heard that he knows Latin and Portuguese, as well, but that may just be rumors. You need to be less worried about what languages he's going to curse you out in and start trying to learn the quirks."
"Tell me then!"
Remus smiled and shook his head, "The first thing you'll learn is that Sirius expects you to learn on your own and so do I. It's not necessarily the best way, but it lets you have more independence. It took me three weeks to advance to where you are now. He does like you somewhat or otherwise you'd still be sitting in your corner, wouldn't you?"
Remus left Edward sitting there pondering about his last statement. It was true though; it had taken Remus three weeks. He hadn't been able to get past the good looks and rotten attitude to see the brilliant pastry chef underneath the muscle.
/page break/
Remus sighed and rolled his eyes at Enrique. Black just would not shut up today! He, apparently, had a very long weekend with a rather lovely French woman named Veronique. He claimed to have spent the entire weekend in her father's chateau in Nice, swimming in the pool, drinking the best champagne, and making hot love. Delightful. Black would never see or talk to her again; it was one of Black's quirks. Flirt, reel them in, and then dump them the first chance he got. It was typical chauvinistic pig. Which was exactly what Black was.
"Hey, Sirius. Do you plan on settling down anytime soon?"
Black laughed, "And deprive the ladies of France my devilish good looks, charming manner, and inquisitive conversation? Never."
Remus snorted, attracting Black's attention. Sirius turned and propped a hip against the counter, sneering down his nose.
"Just because you've never been laid doesn't mean the rest of us have to be virginal, Lupin." There was a chorus of 'oohs' and Remus felt the urge to plop his head in the bowl of raspberry butter cream he was mixing. Sometimes Remus could swear that the other chefs and helpers were in kindergarten. Most of them had the emotional range of a bobby pin anyways.
"Just who are you to presume that I've never been laid, Mr. Black?"
Black laughed, "Please. You…been laid? Ridicule. You're far to pure for such crude acts of desire."
"Am I?"
"Absolument."
Remus shook his head, sandy brown hair flying everywhere. Black was such a hypocritical pig. Remus though about quitting every moment he was here, only realizing that he needed this internship after he had gotten himself worked into a huff. One-day Black's attitude would bite him in the ass and Remus would be there to laugh and sell tickets.
/page break/
Remus flung his scarf away from his neck, dropping his coat onto the worn armchair. He was so glad to be back in his tiny apartment. It was about as big as a sardine can, but it was still more of a home than his true one.
Remus set the kettle on to boil and walked back to change out of the kitchen wear that was, by now, stained with all sorts of food material. He couldn't afford to buy another though; he was barely affording rent.
Settling down with his mug of Earl Grey tea, he pondered his situation. He was mostly broke, living in Paris of all places, hating his job, but needing is so desperately. He was constantly made fun of by his co-workers, but he was used to it by now. After hearing the jeers for so long, he was beginning to become immune. Which was a good thing because Remus was so tired of feeling hurt.
He retired to bed early that night, not wanting to stay up and ace the glaring emptiness that was his life. Black was wrong, he had been laid before. Many time actually. He had been an avid clubber in his teens and early twenties. God but he sounded pathetic, his early twenties…he was only twenty-eight! It wasn't like he was old or anything.
It wasn't as though he didn't have relationships anymore, he just didn't want to get his hopes up and have them come crashing down around his ears. His family and ex-partner had already succeeded in doing that.
Remus fell asleep thinking about the next day and when, if ever, he would be able to prove Sirius Black wrong.
A/N: Here it is. The next grand adventure. Remember: reviews make me smile!
Translations:
Ceci est mon chef cuisinier de patisserie de tete, Sirius Black. Il est votre nouveau dieu, comprendrez?
This is my head pastry chef, Sirius Black. He is your new god, understand?
Beau Garcon: handsome man
Parlez-vous anglais? Do you speak English?
Que? What?
Mon dieu! My God!
Assayez vous dans la chaise fichue et fermez votre bouche!
Sit in the damn chair and shut your mouth!
Absolument: absolutely.