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Borderlandz: The Ghetto-Sequel!

Welcome to a world of exciting adventures... (and erotic looking posters)
A world of Mailbox tipping welfare collectors.
And of course the fragrance of Hormones and Push-Up Bra's...

Oh, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away.
I think It's it about time you meet our Hero's...

Being the first to be introduced,
Is Connor the Scrub-Ingot Cornchip,
Connor the Cornchip's special Action Skill is throw a heaping pile a steaming hot Lay's BBQ Patato Chips.
He's a very special Hero.
Who was kicked out of the 4th Grade by a 420 Blazin' Teacher known as FaZe Cronin.

Our next hero is Jake the Fetus Crusher.
His Action Skill is Cannibalism.
He will reach for the nearest living organism and will EAT IT!
He gains Cannibal-Crunch Stacks, (Levels)
For each Living organism He eats,
The more Cannibal-Crunch Stacks, The more effective his combat skillz.

Our third hero is Aaron the Animal,
His Action Skill is to listen to one of his favorite songs known as "Enter Sandman"
Upon hearing it, All Xbox mics within' the vicinity of 8 Miles,
Will absolutely just, BLOW OUT! (So will the enemy's heads)

And of course, Who cannot forget Micheal 803,
His Action Skill is RAGING RETRIBUTION!
With this Skill,
He shoots Xbox's and PlayStation's right out from his Finger-Nipples out of a fit of rage!

And to introduce two DLC characters,
We have...

Alemir the Black Wizard,
Who can summon ghetto chain-gang slaves as his Action Skill.
He is often mistaken for a awkward Homeless Veteran posing as a Hero.

And finally,
We have DatGhostDough the Bad Influence,
He will command a army of trust worthy subscribers to pull of a clash of clans,
And use anything ranging from chairs to a Popsicle to destroy monuments, People, Buildings, Etc.

Good, Now that you know of our legendary war fighters,
You are ready to experience something amazing,
Something that not even Obama can stop from stopping the stoppers. (Even dough that made no sense once so ever)
Your about to experience...
LIFE IN THE BORDER-SHITZ!

Let's Begin...

One day, Connor the Corn-Scrub was sitting down enjoying a nice peanut brittle and hipster Sand-Hawk,
When out of nowhere,
Came a huge piece of shit,
Falling at depth defying speed.
"What in der hell is dat thingy?" Connor screams with excitement.
"It's a depth defying piece of shit my dear friend!" Yells Jake the Fetus Crusher,
Chewing senselessly on baby fingers.

"Well what are going do about it?"
"...I Dun Know..." Says Jake now missing a finger.
"I taste metal..." As he looks down to see his now missing finger.
"Oh, Well that"s spectacular... Hey... Why is that-"
Conner gets cut off by a large scream heard in the distance.
"Hey, That sounded like it came from..."
He pauses for a moment, Then a surprised expression streaks across his round soft face.
"I know! It came from Miss Moxxi's Bar!" He yells with great expression.

When Connor and Jake finally reach Miss Moxxi's Bar, They see a strange figure sitting at the bar table, Washing all of his problems away over a bottle of Rakk Ale.
"SIR! DO YOU NEED PILLS FOR DA OLD MIND!?" Jake screams ignorantly at the man.
"Shut up you Numb-Boy" The figure replies.
"But why?" Asks Jake .
"I'm busy...Listening to my... uhhh... Music..." Says the figure nervously.
Connor walks up behind the figure and flicks his ear.
Upon Connor doing this, The figure stands up and blasts the song "Enter Sandman".
Jake and Connor fall to the ground and they both succumb to a skull smashing headache.
"OH MA GAWD!" Connor screams while preforming a seizure-like dance on the floor of the bar.
"Please... Help... Me..." Jake says desperately as he tries to use his to arms to pull his disabled arms and legs out of Moxxi's Bar.
The figure laughs with no hesitation.
"My name is Vanhelsin, Just call me Aaron..." Aaron turns his I-Pod off and puts it In his right pocket.
Why dont we all go and go on a exciting field trip to A Thousand Cuts?
Jake and Connor look at each other with a look of despair and groan.