A DECEPTICON CHRISTMAS

By the Tormentor

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Ethan cried out, hefting a box full of Christmas lights and ornaments that he had bought recently. As he neared the rec-room, he could hear the others inside beginning to celebrate the greatest holiday of the year already. Ethan was ecstatic for Christmas; his childhood in New York City had granted him a city of lights every time December rolled around. The Nemesis would follow suite if Megatron didn't catch them in the act.

He opened the doors of the rec-room with a shove from his hip and saw quite a scene. Wildrider was busy setting up the Christmas tree along with Drag Strip. If one looked closely, Wildrider was wearing an appropriately sized Santa hat on her helm and a mistletoe on her chest. Drag Strip opted for reindeer horns, which had actual working lights that glimmered red and green. The tree itself must have been nearly eighty feet tall! Decorated on the pine leaves were all kinds of ornaments from orbs to chrome lining to rainbow lights. Where the two had found it and how they was able to sneak this on board without anyone from command from taking it was beyond him. Ethan also noticed that Breakdown was setting up wreaths on the walls, and Holly was busy setting up the radio, which was playing White Christmas.

Holly was wearing a complete Santa Claus getup, and Breakdown had a crown of Christmas lights adorned across his helm. Holly took the extra mile and was wearing a jolly white beard on her face, attached to her red hat.

"Yo E, mind helping with the eggnog?" He turned to see his best friend Samantha over at the refreshment table, setting down a huge chocolate Christmas cake. On the table was the mentioned eggnog in a massive bowl, Christmas-themed biscuits and cookies with a dispenser filled with hot chocolate. Every piece of decoration was festive themed. He put the box near the door and walked over to Sammy, and noticed that she was wearing a quite hideous Christmas sweater that had a snowman on it. The snowman looked like it was put together by a bulldozer.

"Nice snowman, Samantha. Is that Frosty's retarded cousin?" He laughed and then yelped as he felt someone kick his shin and noticed that it was Zoey. The young girl was wearing a Frosty the Snowman sweatshirt (Coincidence? He thought so) and a red scarf with the words "XMAS" written horizontally.

"No bad language!" She chastised while pointing an accusatory finger at Ethan, who had his hands raised. "Or else Santa's not giving you Christmas gifts!"

Ethan blushed, totally embarrassed.

"Yeah, E. Don't want coal for Xmas do you?" Samantha snickered at her friend's misfortune.

"At least it ain't clothes." He replied and stirred the eggnog to keep it fresh. "I remember getting socks for Christmas. Ugly red and green ones too, like Zoey's scarf." He said with a mischievous smile that would make the Grinch proud. Samantha gasped in mock horror and Zoey puffed her cheeks.

"BRIDGETTE! Ethan's being mean!" Zoey called out to her leader and surrogate "big sister".

"Is he now?" Samantha and Ethan turned to see Bridgette over at the television set, picking a movie to watch later that night. It was very, very hard to not stare at her outfit, which was a scantily clad naughty Mrs. Clause outfit, which was a fur trimmed halter mini-dress with a built-in buckle and more fur trimming along the scruff of her skirt. How Ethan managed to not see it until now he didn't know. Both of their jaws nearly fell out of their heads when they saw their leader dressed so sexily, as plenty of skin was being shown. "Ethan, don't be a jerk to Zoey. Go and hang up those lights with 'Rider and D-Strip."

"Yes, ma'am." He said and hurried over to pick up his lights and to try not to get any more blood to his crotch, and nearly fell on his ass when the doors barged open.

"MERRY SLAGGIN' CHRISTMAS!" Skywarp shouted, holding a Cybertronian-sized pint of frothy energon. He was also wearing a Christmas hat. Behind him was Thundercracker, who was also holding a pint, but didn't seem to be in the same level of holiday cheer as his fellow Seeker. "Yo Thunder, check out the tree!"

"I see it, Skywarp." He answered, shaking his brow underneath his hand. He wasn't much of a celebrator in any sense of the word, but when Skywarp heard of Christmas he was instantly hooked onto the silly holiday. His mood was very infectious across the Nemesis as he and the Stunticons were not the only ones celebrating Christmas. Word was it that Soundwave and his minicon deployers were also celebrating, and once word got out that the Stunticons had decided to set up a tree in the rec-room it would be a full-on festival down here. The festive cheer would not stop with just a couple troops.

That is, if Megatron would allow it.

"Does Lady Megatron know you're doing this?" Thundercracker asked the collective group, and the silence that followed answered him right back; NO.

"I'm sure it's fine. We aren't hurting anybody, are we?" Samantha said, taking a swig from the eggnog bowl with a cup and downed half of it in one gulp. "Nice. Hey, if we could, should we get Megatron a gift?"

The awkward stares that were shared across the group were staggering. To be truthful, nobody really knew what Megatron would want for Christmas, if she was open to celebrating the holiday in the first place. Even then, it would be hard to please a millennia old warlord. All eyes and optics suddenly fell on Skywarp, who had just thought of something to get for their Lord and Master and was snickering like a madman.

"I, I thought of something!" He laughed. "There's only two things that she wants, right? That's universal domination," Skywarp wiggled his optic ridges, "and Optimus Prime's spike buried deep in her valves."

"Sweet Primus above..." Thundercracker mumbled, wondering how he was related to this purple and black idiot next to him. The Stunticons had to bite their glossa to keep from laughing out loud. Samantha had covered Zoey's ears, but the little girl had heard everything and her eyes were as wide as saucers. Ethan, however, was blushing brightly under the tense atmosphere. Skywarp hollered with laughter and nudged Thundercracker with an elbow.

"C'mon, Thunder! That was funny!"

"Was it?"

The mood of the room went from slightly amused to horrified in a split second as the in-question warlord announced her presence right behind the formerly amused Seeker, who could feel the smoldering glare from her blood-red optics on the back of his head. Megatron had arrived to investigate the noises coming from the rec-room and entered just in time to hear Skywarp's crap joke. Speaking of the Seeker, Skywarp looked about ready to regurgitate his tanks. Thundercracker did the wise thing and distanced himself from Skywarp as much as possible to escape the inevitable punishment. Everyone else was looking forward to seeing Skywarp eat his words.

"I-I-I w-was just b-being sarcastic, M-My Lady!" Skywarp stammered as he turned around and fell to his knees, begging pathetically. Megatron simply huffed.

"Clean the washrooms." She demanded, and the Seeker scurried out like a naughty child. Thundercracker decided to follow, only chastise Skywarp.

Once the two left, Megatron took a good look at the rec-room before her. The festive cheer had taken the Nemesis by complete storm, and took in everything that the Stunticons and the Stuntikids were doing; hanging up decorations on the massive tree that had somehow escaped being noticed until now, the intense amount of lights strewn across the walls, all colored red and green and white, and finally the television set playing a movie about a human child who wanted something called a "BB gun". Megatron had to admit that the two groups had pulled out their hardest to bring the human holiday of Christmas onto the warship.

"H-Hey Megatron." She looked down to see Samantha holding a small pint of pink energon as high as she could, standing on her toes to give to Megatron. "Merry Christmas." Megatron studied the small drink in her hands, and that it was seemingly harmless to accept a gift from her soldier, she took it.

"I assume this isn't going to get out of hand, Wildrider?" She stated with a simple sentence to the Ferrari.

"Not at all, My Lady." She responded, and in her distraction he missed the tree branch that was supposed to hold the orb in her hand, and accidentally dropped it on Drag Strip's head, who was busy setting up the presents. The Formula One crossly frowned at his sister, as if to say "Really?".

"Good. Then you may continue this festival of lights without me." Megatron stated before leaving.

"Man, what a Scrooge." Ethan whispered to Samantha's ear, and the girl nodded back.

...

Megatron began to notice that this "Christmas" was slowly, but surely, taking over the warship. After she had left the rec-room, she had noticed that there was a large crowd of drones walking opposite of her direction, probably going to the Stunticon's party. With them were the Dreads, who were styled like the northern mammals called reindeer with fake brown horns on their heads, whooping and singing in the hallways holding their datapads to their faces. There seemed to be song lyrics written on the screens, as the Dreads were singing rather out of tune and out of sync with each other, but they looked like they were having a total blast singing like idiots to the group of drones.

Megatron passed them quickly, trying to not be dragged down into this holiday of idiocy. She already had to deal with the other human holidays like "birthdays" and "Halloween" and "Fourth of July". This Christmas seemed to be worst of the worst, as her own soldiers were succumbing to the red white and green cheer.

"I don't have time for this." She mumbled to herself, and neared the command quarters where the rest of the officers were awaiting her latest orders. She just hoped that her trusted men wouldn't be so engrossed in the Christmas spirit. They still had a war to win.

She rounded a corner to see Soundwave standing there, with his deployers sitting around his feet. They seemed to be watching, much to her chagrin, a Christmas movie on a datapad. She had sincerely hoped that her most loyal Decepticon hadn't fallen to the lull of Christmas cheer, but it seemed that it was too infectious even for Soundwave of all Decepticons. Then again, it wouldn't really surprise her that Soundwave would allow his deployers to celebrate Christmas. Rumble and Frenzy were too rebellious for their own good and the two had devoured Earth culture, Christmas included. The two were dressed as creatures that the humans called "elves". Ravage was wearing reindeer horns along with a red bulb at the tip of his nose that glowed. Laserbeak was hovering with a halo on his body.

"Soundwave. Explain." She said, and the faceless 'Con turned to see his mistress looking at him with sheer disappointment, her black lips turning into a frown.

"Oh come on Megsy it's fun!" Rumble said.

"Yeah. Turn that frown upside down and be merry for once!" Frenzy added.

Ignoring them, she turned to her Third-in-Command. "Are the others inside."

He nodded back.

"Good." I pray to whoever's listening that they're not being as festive as the rest of the warship. I swear if I see another damn set of horns I'm going to lose my sanity. Megatron silently prayed as she entered the command room, and was at first thankful that there was not a single Christmas anything in the large, ovular space. The room itself was large, and dead center lay a large round, hollow metal table with an opening at the farthest end. A dozen chairs spread evenly around the table, and there was a monitor in front of each.

The four inside were Turmoil (Second-in-Command), Starscream (Air Commander), Motormaster (Stunticon Commander) and Sprawl (Warrior Elite). They were huddled around the Stunticon, watching something that he was showing on his datapad. The sounds revealed that it was a Christmas movie, but not one that she had expected. She had expected to hear annoying carol and talk of magic and Santa, not actual discussion and simple talking.

"So the angel showed him an alternate reality in which he wasn't born?" Turmoil asked, scratching his chin.

"It's kinda depressing, really. Imagine being shown a reality where it you didn't change much." Motormaster said.

"I think the movie is brilliantly written." Sprawl spoke. "It's about the impact one life can have on others, like the angel Clarence showed for him."

"Speaking of impact..." Starscream nudged Motormaster and all optics looked up to see that Megatron had entered, which mean fun time over work time now. Sprawl and Turmoil walked back to their seats and Starscream slunk back into his own next to the Stunticon's. Megatron didn't want to say anything, lest continue the blasted Christmas theme that was going across the Nemesis like an infection. She could deal with the awkward silence when she walked over to her throne and sat down, all optics on her.

"I see that you're all in the holiday mood." She said, and Starscream scratched his neck.

"It's a rather fun holiday, my Lady," Sprawl explained, and would have said more if his sentence hadn't been the straw to break the camel's back, specifically Megatron's.

"This is RIDICULOUS!" Megatron shouted, smashing her hand onto the rest of her throne and startling the Decepticons in the room. She was just about finished with Christmas this and Christmas that. "We are Decepticons, fighting for the resurrection of our home planet against the Autobots and here we are, quite literally wrapped around this stupid holiday like its the final day on Earth! I was forgiving enough for the rest of the troops to celebrate it on their own terms but it seems that everyone on this warship is celebrating, even you four were watching a Christmas movie." Her anger spent, she leaned back down into her throne and sighed. "We're not going to get anything done today, are we?"

"That's not exactly true, my Lady." Motormaster said, earning him her attention. "You see, later tonight I and the rest of the Stunticons are throwing a party."

"I already know that." She huffed out.

"Well, did you know that you were invited?" Motormaster replied, and Megatron raised an optic ridge. "You don't have to come, but it would mean a lot for the troops to see their lord and master come down and visit for a brief moment. There's going to be movies, drinks and other things. Also," He smirked, "we're handing out gifts later tonight."

"Is that a Christmas tradition?" Megatron asked.

"According to Bridgette, it is." Motormaster said to her. "I didn't want to tell you this, but the Stuntikids really want you to come to the party. In fact, they made you a gift card so that -"

"You're all excused." Megatron said suddenly. The four in front of her looked surprised at her, but didn't wish to question her lapsing judgement based on her earlier outburst. It seemed that the holidays were starting to get into her mind and she just wanted to be left alone. Slowly, the Decepticons in front of her left. Turmoil and Sprawl left first, followed by Starscream, who was all too happy to leave. Motormaster was about to leave, but looked back to see Megatron with her head in her hands. He would have gone to check on his leader, but was stopped by Turmoil. The tank-former shook his head, saying without words she'll be fine let her be. Motormaster back down, and left the room, following the others to leave the increasingly emotional warlord.

...

Hours had passed since the failed meeting, and Megatron was still feeling twists in her spark. She was laying in her room, staring up at the ceiling, nearly drowning in this quagmire of guilt. Why was she feeling this? She wasn't in the mood to celebrate this damn holiday and she sure as hell wasn't going to that party. So why was she feeling like utter crap? It wasn't her fault that the Stuntikids wanted to celebrate with her, it was their choice, and if she didn't want to come then so be it. She was Megatron and catering was not an assignment that she was given when she took up arms against the ruling caste of Cybertron.

And yet, she felt guilt.

Why do I feel guilty? She walked up to the mirror above her monitor and stared at it, her red optics shining back, but there was something else in them. Motormaster seemed excited at the fact that I might come to visit their party, but I don't have time for that!

"That's your problem, Megatronus!" Her optics shot wide, remembering a very young voice that she could never forget, one that she hadn't heard in ages. It was so long ago, but the young voice of her former brother would always be remembered. "You don't know how to have fun! You're always either getting in trouble or at the mines!"

"Well that's not my problem, is it? You can always have fun with Alpha Trion or whoever you hang out with in Iacon." And that was her own. She sounded so young, so much potential in those years for something.

She remembered that scene so well...

"I don't get it!" Orion Pax said, running after the gray femmeling that was basically his best friend. After telling her about the party for his scholastic graduation and her invitation, she had turned into a stubborn ass of herself. True, he was from Iacon, and the parties were very different from the ones thrown in the slums of Kaon, but that didn't stop Orion Pax. If anything, she might have to face the true horror of actually having fun. A shocker for the girl who was so busy placing the world on her shoulders and dreaming about better futures.

"What's not to get, Pax?" Megatronus stopped in the outskirts of the city of Kaon, where she and Orion would usually hang out. A street sweeper passed by, blowing wind towards the two friends. "Your parties are boring, and I'm not going."

"But why?" Pax asked, desperate for a true answer. "Sentinel already knows that I invited you, so why not come down to Iacon for just a cycle?"

"Because I don't belong there, Orion." Megatronus seethed out, glaring at her friend. "Those places and those parties aren't for people like me. I'm a troublemaker, as your mother puts it. A bad influence. Could you imagine what might happen to us if they saw you the son of the Prime, all those councilors and bankers and guardsman, running around with some low-born femme from Kaon? Disaster, Pax. Disaster."

"Yeah well, so what? You're my best friend, they'll understand!" Orion smiled at her, and she scoffed.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Megatronus walked off, and the smile that was once on Orion's face vanished. "It doesn't matter that you're my best friend, they'll always look down at me because I'm from Kaon. They have no understanding of equality, and me going there would only sully the situation that our society is plagued by. So I can't go, Orion, because I don't deserve it." Megatronus finished, but not before she tried to walk away and Orion grabbed her arm gently, not to already sour her temper.

"Megatronus. Please." He took a step forward, staring hard into the back of his friend. "I just," He blinked hard, "I just want you to be happy."

"Then you can forget it. You can have your stupid party without me." And with that, she was gone, straight back into the slums. Orion stood there, trying to not let his emotions break free. He tried his damnest to get Megatronus to come with, but hearing those words were enough to break anyone from trying again. Giving one last look to the dirty slums in front of him, he sighed and left for the nearest tram station to Iacon, back home where his father was expecting him.

Megatron inwardly cringed at the memory that she had tried to bury for so long. Oh long ago was that, a couple million years here or there? It still felt fresh in her memory banks, but the young Megatron was right. She had no place in Iacon, not while the elite of Cybertron controlled the planet and rendered her little more than expendable muscle. But here, it was vastly different. Cybertron was gone, and the elite either went into hiding among the stars or died along with their homeworld. Megatron had the last laugh, now that she ruled an army that stretched the entire galaxy.

Optimus had the right idea. It was just not the right time. If it were right now, however...

Still no.

Megatron stared into the mirror, and left her room, knowing just full well what she was doing.

...

She could hear the merry joy and the celebrating long before she approached the door. The outside was heavily decorated with snowmen, gingerbread men, trees and images of snowy igloos. The sounds of Christmas music could have been heard from the command bridge, and maybe even outside the warship itself. Who knows. Megatron just hoped that the party wouldn't be a complete waste of her and her troop's time. There was still a war going on after all.

As she neared the door, she could hear laughter, but then there was suddenly talking. She leaned in close, and could hear many voices talking over each other.

"It's a combiner!" She heard one of the Stuntikids shout, one of the females.

"Menasor!" That was Frenzy, yelling over the crowd.

"No, think smaller." Motormaster. All of the sudden, Megatron heard more shouting as the answer was suddenly found.

"I know it, Mos'!" That was another one of the Stuntikids, presumably their leader. Megatron's interest in the game was slightly peaked, and she opened the door as soon as the answer was being told. "It's... !" The moment she entered, the entire room fell dead silent. All eyes and optics fell straight onto the warlord, who must have appeared at an incredibly awkward time. Megatron looked at what was happening; Motormaster was standing directly in the center of the room, surrounded by at least two dozen other troops, all of whom were wearing Christmas hats and holding glass pints of frothy energon. The Stuntikids were also sitting down on their couch, with Bridgette standing up to answer, or at least she would have were it not for Megatron to suddenly make herself known.

The tense atmosphere was then cut by Megatron clearing her throat and talking. "I heard there was a party, and..." She rubbed the back of her head. "I was invited. So, if you'll have me, I'd like to celebrate this "Christmas" with you."

A pin drop.

Megatron looked back up to her speechless troops, but before the thought of leaving could be complete, they suddenly burst into cheer and grabbed the warlord, who was not expecting this sort of reaction. She felt someone jump up and put a Santa Claus hat on her head, big enough for it to fall over her face. If she was expecting the warm welcome that her troops were giving her, she was definitely showing it. A very bright blush on Megatron's face could be seen through the huge gathering of the Decepticons that came to welcome their Lord and Master to their yearly party.

"Of course, my Lady!" Motormaster bowed and handed Megatron a pint of energon. "We'd love to have you! Come, we were about to finish up a game and enjoy some Christmas movies together that Soundwave downloaded! Sprawl, load up Home Alone 2! I think Megatron would certainly love it!" Motormaster shouted over the excited crowd. Megatron had to admit, she felt touched that her troops were as eager as the Stunticon said they were.

She barely had time to sip her energon before she felt tapping on her shoulder. There was a drone wearing a green and white scarf holding a red box.

"My Lady, I found this on the flight deck. It's for you." He gave her the box and hurried off to the other gatherings to drink and eat. Megatron looked around her to see the happiness, and to make sure no one was peeking into her gift, and she opened it. The red wrappings fell into the piles of streamers already on the floor, and Megatron opened the box to reveal two things.

A letter, and a picture.

The moment she saw the writing on the letter, she knew exactly who wrote it.

Dear Megatron,

I know that while we might be enemies now, I hope this season brings happiness and cheer to you and the Decepticons.

Remember that picture? I took it when we went to Six Lasers Over Cybertron. I wanted you to have it to treasure our memories together.

Perhaps in the future, we can celebrate Christmas as brother and sister again.

Merry Christmas,

From Optimus Prime

PS: We're having a party as well. Everyone's trying to get me hammered, as the humans say.

Megatron gently stored the letter away in her personal subspace and viewed the picture. It was the young Optimus and Megatron, before they were enemies. Back when Megatron was the mining whelp and Optimus was Alpha Trion's fledgling. They were smiling, and from the bottom of her spark, Megatron felt the warmth of love inside.

"Hey Megatron," She looked down to see Samantha looking up at her, "What is that? Family heirloom?"

The warlord smiled at her soldier and put the picture back in the box.

"I guess you could say that."

The End.

Merry Christmas, . Have a wonderful new year!