Welcome to my take and version of Deadliest Warrior!
I don't own the show and you'd be a moron to think I do.
The Nazi Waffen SS
The fanatical shock troops that led Adolf Hitler's evil charge for world domination.
(You see the Waffen shoot up a group of US soldiers)
The Yamainu
An elite group of soldiers who were used by "The Tokyo" in the Higurashi universe to protect the citizens, but were hired to destroy the town of Hinamizawa.
(You see Yamainu charge into a town and start shooting civilians)
Narrator: No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to see who is The Deadliest Warrior.
{Goes to the fight club}
Narrator: This is the fight club. Here we will test to see the killing power of each weapon. And wielding the weapons for the Waffen SS, Silvio Bucsh, a former German militant. Wielding the weapons for the Yamainu, the one who was in charge of their dispatch, Miyo Takano.
Silvio: These guys have no idea what their getting into. The Waffen SS were the best trained of all Nazi Germany.
Takano: My, I think this will be no contest. The Yamainu were under my control so I know. Also, we have at least 40 years on them to get better weapons.
Narrator: Checking the injuries inflicted, Dr. Dorian.
Dorian: The Nazi Waffen SS inflicted heavy losses to the US Army. But! They were also fanatical body guards. They have more motivation that hired guns.
Narrator: And inputting the data, computer whiz Max Geiger.
Max: The Waffen SS were good, but I'm giving my edge to Yamainu. They had 40 years to improve the weapons.
Narrator: And last but not least, Biomedical Engineer Geoff Desmoulin.
Geoff: To me, this match may be too close to call, but my edge goes to the Yamainu. They had many years to improve weapons, and they were feared, even by Law Enforcement.
Narrator: The first weapons to be tested are Short Range. The Yamainu will take the first shot.
Max: So Miss Takano, what type of weapon do you have for us?
Takano: Well, we had a certain side arm the was used even during WWII, so the Nazi expert should know this one.
Narrator: The M1911, a deadly pistol that ran through many Axis Powers, and recently, civilians.
{Everyone Steps to the firing range}
Geoff: We have 8 jars set up, your job is to shoot each of the jars as quickly as possible.
Takano: Lets do this.
She shoots the first jar, but missed the second, but hit it in the second shot.
Narrator: All the jars were broken, but it took 38 seconds to do so.
Max: No offense, but that took a really long time.
Takano: Well, we work in close quarters, and in squads, imagine dozens of people shooting at this pace.
Silvio: I have a side arm that is far more useful and accurate than that.
Narrator: The Mauser C96 pistol, a deadly accurate pistol that took many American lives.
Geoff: Silvio, you have the same challenge, shoot all the jars as quickly as possible.
Silvio: Lets do it.
Silvio breaks every jar, not one miss, but how long did it take?
Dr. Dorian: Every jar hit, and in only 29 seconds.
Max: Less time, more hits. Edge, Mauser.
Narrator: Now for long range weapons. The Waffen SS gets to take the first shot.
Silvio: This is the MP28. It has an impressive fire rate, 500 rounds a minute, and a drum magazine of 32 rounds.
Narrator: Silvio steps into the firing range. His targets, 5 dummies dressed in Yamainu uniforms for motivation.
Silvio lets loose a full drum. And it's devestating. Every dummy was hit in the chest several times, and two had rounds in the head.
Geoff: Silvio! Nice job man. These guys aren't calling for backup any time soon.
Silvio: This is the skill level of all Waffen SS mebers.
Takano: Well , I have a weapon that doesn't have a big a mag, but doesn't need it.
Narrator: The AR-10 rifle. Delivering casuallities 20 rounds at a time.
Takano: This is the AR-10. It's a weapon I'm quite fond of. It's fire rate is 600 rounds in a minute.
Takano steps into the firing range, and hits every dummy exactly 4 times, but in double the time.
Geoff: Well, it took longer, but was more accurate, so my edge goes to the AR-10.
Narrator: Now, it's time for special weapons. Once again, the Waffen SS goes first.
Silvio: Here I have the Flammenweffer Flamethrower. It was used mainly for dispatching runaways, but was also used to fry Allied Powers.
Silvio steps up to a group of dummies set around a van. A Thermal Cam will monitor the power.
Silvio lets loose a burst and lites up the dummies. It's maximum heat has 8,000 degrees.
D. Dorian: Well, these guys are done. I don't think we need to look closer.
Takano: It's good for taking out groups, but it attracts a lot of attention. I have a weapon that kills silently.
Narrator: The Poison Syringe, a deadly administrator of poison that can kill from just its jab.
Takano: This is a weapon used for silent kills. It can kill from it's 4 inch needle, or the poison will get you. This is my personal favorite.
Geoff: What type of poison?
Takano: It's a poison that causes the internal organs to rupter and cease function. It can kill in 10 seconds.
Geoff: We can't test the poison, but lets see it's stabbing power.
Takano steps up to a gel torso, and stabs it in the neck, heart, and temple.
Max: Well, this is impressive, but I give my edge to the Flammenweffer. It's killing potential is incredible. The Syringe is a one at a time kill.
Narrator: Finally, it's time for explosive weapons. The Yamainu start.
Takano: This is the hand grenade..
Takano steps up to an area and thros the grenade, and it destroys two of the 3 dummies. The 3rd has shrapnel in the shoulder, but didn't kill.
Silvio: You call that a weapon? Why don't you take a look at our Boucing Betty?
Silvio puts a Bouncing Betty in the middle of 3 dummies, and each is torn to pieces.
Geoff: The Bouncing Betty had more kills, thats where I give my edge.
Narrator: With the data gathered, all thats left to do is start this duel to the death.
Max: Lets do it.
Simulation:
It shows 4 Yamainu getting out of a van and walking into a forest. At the same time, 4 Waffen SS mebers walk towards the Yamainu. The Waffen sees the Yamainu first and the Waffen leader shoots a Yamainu in the chest with the MP 28.
Waffen: IIII Yamainu: III
The Yamainu shoot back, but the Waffen has already retreated. The Yamainu charge after them and scatter. One Yamainu member is walking by, and a Waffen member steps out from behind a tree and blasts the Yamainu with a Mauser. As the Yamainu is on the ground, he takes out his M1911 and shoots the Nazi in the head. He falls to his knees, then on his side. The Yamainu then bleeds out.
Waffen: III Yamainu: II
A Waffen SS member has his MP 28 out and is walking slowly. He rounds a corner, but doesn't see anyone and lowers his weapon. Then a Yamainu sneaks up behind him. The Yamainu covers the SS members mouth and stabs him with the Syringe. The Waffen member falls and shakes rapidly before dying an extremely painful death. The Yamainu leader appears, but is disapointed the Waffen is already dead.
Waffen: II Yamainu: II
The last two Waffen members walk side by side, checking each corner. The last two Yamainu see the Waffen. The Yamainu leader shoots the Waffen member in the head with an AR-10.
Waffen: I Yamainu: II
The Waffen leader turns tail and runs, the Yamainu in hot pursuit. The Yamainu leader steps near a Bouncing Betty but doesn't trigger it. The Yamainu following his leader isn't so lucky. He's torn apart at the waist by the Bouncing Betty.
Waffen: I Yamainu: I
The Yamainu leader shoots his pistol at the Waffen with the full clip but misses every shot. He drops his M1911 and pulls out his Syringe. The Waffen leader puts away his MP 28 and pulls out his Mauser. He then sees the van the Yamainu arrived in and hides behind it. The Yamainu leader sees the Waffen leader run behind it but when he gets there, he's horrified to be staring down a Flammenweffer. The Waffen leader lites up the Yamainu leader. As the Yamainu leader falls, for safe measure, he shoots the corpse in the head before shouting "Hail Hitler!" He steps over the Yamainu and walks away.
Winner: Nazi Waffen SS
Nazi Waffen SS
Kills: 624
MP 28: 278
Mauser C96: 38
Bouncing Betty: 187
Flammenweffer:121
Yamainu
Kills: 376
AR-10: 175
M1911: 23
Syringe: 2
Grenade: 76
Geoff: This was a fight that was up in the air, but the Nazi Waffen took the victory 62% of the time.
Dr. Dorian: It doesn't surprise me. The Waffen were trained to kill.
(Shows the Waffen leader blasting the Yamainu leader with the Flammenweffer)
Takano: This is really surprising to me. The Yamainu were the elite of the elite.
(Shows the downed Yamainu shooting the Waffen meber in the head)
Silvio: If anything, this shows that it's the man, not the weapon.