T'was The Night Before Christmas and all through the Hub….
It was Christmas Eve, and Ianto had called Jack down to the cells. Unfortunately to his great disappointment, it was because there was something wrong.
"See? She hasn't moved for hours."
Jack peered into the cell. Janet was lying curled up on her side on the shelf, eyes tightly shut and little snores were issuing from the pinched, bestial nostrils. He raised an eyebrow in amazement.
"She never sleeps!"
"I know," said Ianto worriedly, "Even when there's no one around she's always awake and mooching about in here. She sleeps even less than you, and I didn't think that was possible." He glanced over at Jack. "As she always knows when you get into smelling distance- she really, really doesn't like your smell."
"Nothing wrong with how I smell." Jack replied, somewhat defensively. "I always smell great!"
"Well, I like it, but she doesn't….."
"Okay, and getting back to the matter in hand." Jack sucked air in through his teeth, stepping back from the cell and folding his arms across his chest. "So how long has she been sleeping?"
"Six hours."
"And she didn't do anything weird first?" Jack fixed Ianto with a stern eye. "Did you let Owen feed her? He's been trying to get her drunk for months… thinks it'll be funny."
"No, not really, and no, of course I didn't let Owen feed her!" Ianto replied indignantly. "I went back through the CCTV footage; she looked straight up, made a weird noise then circled about a bit, curled up on the shelf and fell asleep. Up to then she was behaving just like she always does."
"Weird." A slow, mischievous grin was spreading across Jack's face. "So, t'was the night before Christmas, and all through the Hub-"
"No! Don't say it! You know it's a jinx if you-"
"Not a creature was stirring, not even Janet!" Jack finished, breaking into laughter.
"-say stuff like that…." Ianto finished with a sigh.
Of course, just as Ianto was directing a baleful glare at his boss, the rift alarm started blaring through the building.
They took off at a run to get back up to the main part of the Hub, and as they went Ianto shot the older man another reproachful look.
"What?"
"Nothing."
*****
As they emerged into the main part of the building, Tosh was working furiously away at her station, Gwen and Owen standing behind her.
"So what have we got?" said Jack, striding up to the group.
"A massive inverse rift spike just outside the city." Tosh kept tapping away at her keyboard, staring intently at the screen.
"Typical this is," Gwen muttered. "I'd shut down my computer, was just going to head home, Rhys has a lovely Christmas Eve dinner planned… He's going to go bloody bonkers."
"I'm sure you'll be able to pacify him, PC Cooper…" smirked Owen.
"Shut up Owen, you're such a smug git sometimes…"
"Well, Merry Christmas to you too."
Cocking his head in Jack's direction, Ianto murmured "Blame him."
"What did you do, Jack?" Hands on hips, Gwen fixed him with her best police constable glare.
"What? Me? I didn't do anything!" He did, however, have the grace to look slightly guilty as he cleared his throat and leaned towards Tosh. "Inverse spike? We don't get many of those."
Ianto quietly said to Gwen, "He jinxed us. Again."
"Gah," she said, slapping her forehead with her hand. "He promised he wouldn't do that any more…"
"Do you two mind?" Jack turned back to Tosh. "So?"
"The monitors are going mad all over the place now." Tosh pushed her glasses more firmly onto her nose, and then peered back at the screen. "The inverse spike flared up somewhere around Llancarfan, and it's as though something is trying to fight with the rift. I have no idea what happened out there, but it's caused a serious imbalance. It seems to be stabilising, but there's no guarantees."
Ianto had gone over to one of the other computers as he'd seen a red flag pop up.
"Interesting- A report has just gone into the police that something has fallen out of the sky and crashed…. at Llancarfan." He looked up. "Doubt it's a coincidence."
Jack quickly made some decisions. "Okay, we have to go check it out. No normal plane crash would make the rift act this way, so let's not take any chances. Tosh, you stay here and monitor the activity in the area, let us know if anything changes. Gwen, get onto the police. I want that crash site cordoned and no one, and I mean no one is to go near it until we've looked it over."
He shrugged into his coat as Ianto magically appeared with it. "Ianto, get the SUV and meet us up top." Ianto nodded and quickly headed out.
Gwen had finished speaking into the phone and rejoined them. "Cordon is sorted. I should warn you though Jack, Detective Swanson is NOT happy."
"Is she ever happy where we're concerned? She'll get over it." Jack shrugged as he hooked his Bluetooth over his ear. "Better annoyed at me than dead or worse. Let's go."
*****
As they crested a rise, they could see blue lights flashing in the distance. Tosh was in constant contact, and had assured them that the rift activity had subsided into the occasional hiccup. As they got closer, Gwen could see the police vehicle blocking the road, and could make out figures moving around, the reflective strips on high-vis jackets glowing brilliantly in the SUV's headlights.
Ianto pulled up just beyond the police car, and the team jumped out. Squinting, Gwen could make out Andy Davidson, rubbing his hands and hunching his neck into his collar against the cold. He grinned as he saw her, and nodded to Jack, Owen and Ianto.
"Don't get much time off, do you?"
"Not in this job, no." Gwen smiled. "So what was seen?"
"Not a lot. Certainly sounds like one of your spooky dos. Bright thing came winging in over the hill, crashed down there," he turned and pointed down into the dip, at an area screened by trees. A dim red glow could just be seen through the thick vegetation. "Don't worry though, nobody's been near," he finished, glancing nervously at Jack.
"Good. Come on team, let's go." Jack pulled up his collar against the cold, and strode off down the hill, the others following. As they got closer, all four drew their side arms and clicked on torches. Soon they were pushing their way through the trees, and occasionally stumbling over roots.
"Christ it's thick in here!" said Owen, kicking out savagely at a bramble that he was convinced was trying to rip his leg off.
"Quiet!" snapped Jack. "There could be anything in there."
The red glow was getting brighter. As they got closer they could hear someone groaning in pain, and Jack was the first to break out through the underbrush and see what had landed in the clearing. He stopped dead, absolutely stunned. For the first time in a very long time, Jack Harkness was speechless.
Owen staggered out behind him, followed by Gwen and Ianto.
All four stared, torchlight flickering over the crash scene.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me…" breathed Owen.
"Erm," said Ianto. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
"Depends." shrugged Owen. "Are you seeing a dead elf, a load of reindeer, one of them with a glowing nose? And a broken sledge? Oh and a moaning, big fat beardy bloke tangled up in the wreckage?"
"Yep."
"Well, that's what I'm seeing too."
"Thank god for that."
Jack moved forward, Webley at the ready. Ianto hissed at him.
"Jack, you can't shoot him. You can't shoot Santa!" the young Welshman had pulled out a sensor unit, and was looking intently at the display. "Looks safe enough, can't detect anything dangerous, anyway."
Jack shot Ianto an exasperated look and shook his head. "I'm not gonna shoot him, not unless he does something to make me. Owen, go check him out."
"Santa." Gwen shook her head incredulously. "So, this is what we're saying is it? Santa has crashed just outside Cardiff, out by Llancaran."
"You got a better explanation, I'd love to hear it." said Jack.
******
Owen looked up from where he was crouching over the fallen figure. They'd extricated him from the damaged sled, carefully laid him out flat, and he wasn't groaning anymore. Owen snapped off his gloves as he straightened up.
"He's hurt, not too badly, but I need to get him back to the Hub so I can treat him properly. Seems human, but I won't know for sure until I get him under the scanners."
Gwen joined him. "Has he said anything?"
"Nah, unconscious. Probably passed out when we moved him, that leg looks painful. Think he's taken a fair knock to the head, too."
Jack looked around, seeing a dirt track leading into the clearing from the opposite side of the wood. "We should be able to get the SUV down here, but what about that?" he said, pointing at the sled and the subdued group of animals still harnessed to it. The one with the glowing nose seemed particularly mournful.
"The police have a van, the sled should fit." Ianto looked thoughtful. "And we passed a farm on the way, about a mile back. Bet they've got a trailer. Rudolph and his pals should be comfy enough."
Jack shot him a questioning look. "Rudolph?"
Ianto shrugged. "What else am I going to call him? Poor bugger looks so sad, too…"
Jack decided that there was no point trying to continue the conversation, no matter what he said, Ianto would call it what he felt like. And the animal did look pretty sad, to be fair.
"Okay, let's make it happen."