Because one year later, Juvia tells him she loves him.

Because he says he loves her too, since there's no one else to think about.

Because when she kisses him, he feels so cold and numb it's a relief.

.

.

.

Because when Natsu finds her, he holds her hand and looks into her eyes like she's the only one he sees.

Because he's the only one with her, and there is no one to feel but him.

Because when he kisses her, the feelings hidden inside melt and mix and become wholly indistinguishable.

"Well, good morning, sleepyhead."

Lucy frowned. "Have you been awake long?" she asked, sitting next to Gray at the breakfast table. "It's only seven – you're almost never awake at this hour."

"More like I've been awake all night," said Gray, yawning. He slapped his hand on the table, causing the mug beside his hand to shake. "I've been coordinating with the branch over at the next town, and it's been really hectic… I kinda ended up working all through the night so I'd have a day off today." His glasses were sitting squarely on the top of his head, but he brought them down to his face. "Did you sleep okay?"

She didn't answer immediately, but instead stood up and went to the kitchen to make her tea, like she did, every morning. She got the box of tea bags and the kettle which Gray had set on the fire some time prior.

"I had a bad dream last night," Lucy admitted. She took out a tea bag, placed it in a cup, and poured hot water over it. Gray stood up to get their container of cream and sugar and a sachet of coffee.

He sat down across from her, looking concerned. "I probably should've gone to bed last night," he said. "I'm sorry."

Lucy shook her head. "No, no, it's fine. I'm used to sleeping alone, anyways… I mean, back when I lived with Father…"

"You don't have to talk about him," said Gray firmly. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," Lucy insisted. Gray still looked slightly worried, but he decided to let it go.

"Anyway, can you talk about the dream? What kind of dream was it?" Gray asked. He pulled out the tea bag from Lucy's cup before the tea turned too dark. Lucy handed him an empty mug, and he started to mix his coffee.

"It was a really… strange dream. I dreamed that we were wizards. You know, with magic and everything."

"That sounds awesome, truth be told," said Gray. He put three spoonfuls of cream in both their cups and poured sugar liberally into his coffee.

"You're going to get at least two cavities from that," said Lucy, frowning.

"Moving on," said Gray, cutting her off. "We were wizards."

Lucy looked slightly miffed, but she let it slide. "Right… you had ice powers. You were really cool… haha, get it? You had ice powers, and you were cool?" giggled Lucy.

"You're so lame," said Gray, taking a sip of his coffee. He opened his laptop with one hand and pressed the power button, a movement that Lucy still found cool after all this time, because he had to hold the laptop down with one elbow as he opened it.

"Well, anyways… I'm not totally sure what my magic was. I had a bunch of keys, I think. I don't think I had magic of my own. The keys were magic. If I waved them, these gates would appear and then these people would come through them. Then they'd fight for me," said Lucy.

"You were a summoner?" said Gray, unable to resist.

She smacked him from across the table, not quite able to reach. "Shut up. It was cool. There was a mermaid, and a centaur, and a… a lion. The lion was really cool."

"I thought you said they were people? Why was there a lion?" asked Gray.

"No, like…" said Lucy, her brow furrowing. "Like they personified the lion. I think they were like the Zodiac or something. Like the lion was Leo. The mermaid was… Aquarius, or maybe Pisces. I think it was Aquarius."

"Okay, that's slightly cooler," Gray conceded. "Is there an ice zodiac?"

"There isn't, you idiot," said Lucy, rolling her eyes.

"You still haven't gotten to the part where it was a bad dream," Gray reminded her. "It still sounds pretty awesome."

Lucy's smile faded. "Oh, right." She looked so sad that Gray momentarily regretted it.

"It was an awesome dream, all throughout," said Lucy, recalling. "But you were always with this one girl with blue hair. You two were always going off on your own. And I… I was always with this other boy. He had pink hair and… I don't know, even though it was just a dream, I felt really guilty, hanging around with him."

"So why didn't you stop?" asked Gray casually, but Lucy could tell he was actually slightly bothered.

"I wanted to, but… I don't know. Even if I could, that blue-haired girl kept hanging all over you. We belonged in something called a guild, I think. Like an association of wizards. We hung around a hall when we had nothing to do, and you were always with her… and everyone in the dream kept saying that you two were made for each other. You had ice powers, and she had water powers… and you even wore the same color scheme."

Gray turned away from the laptop's screen, took off his glasses, and looked into her eyes.

She couldn't meet his.

"That wasn't real, okay?" he said firmly, but gently. "We're here. Neither of us has powers. There is no blue-haired water girl, and there is no other guy. Remember? We both found our ending…"

"…from the start of chapter one," Lucy finished, smiling. But her smile dissipated quickly. "But that wasn't the end of my dream. It was like, our life was fast forwarded. There were lots of times that we all went together on adventures, you, me, and the other people in the guild… that is, until the end. The end of my dream."

"… What was the end?" asked Gray quietly.

"I…" Lucy looked like she might cry. "It was a very sad scene. I think our guild had broken up. In any case, we'd all scattered. That pink-haired boy wasn't with me anymore, and neither were you. I lived alone… in an old apartment far from the city we lived in."

Gray stood up with a deep sigh, and went over to sit beside her. "…And? What happened next?"

Lucy's voice was barely a whisper. "I was writing a letter to you. But I couldn't send it to you, because I didn't know where you were, what you were doing, if you were with that girl. And then… I threw it away."

The air felt heavy.

"And then… a few months later, or at least I think it was, that pink-haired boy came back for me. And then a few years later, we got married. And everyone from the old guild came, except for you and that girl… I don't remember anything from after that, but there was this one thing…"

"… One thing?" prodded Gray gently.

"Even though I didn't really remember anything from after the wedding, I just know that I never saw you again. I never saw you since that time that the group separated. And when I woke up, tears literally started streaming down my face. It was that sad. I mean, really… I got really scared for a moment, because I didn't know what was real or not. I panicked, thinking what if? What if that wasn't a dream?" said Lucy, growing slightly agitated.

"But it was a dream," said Gray. He placed his hand over her slightly shaking one. "You're here. You're married to me. Nothing's separating us, not now, not ever."

"It felt so real."

"It wasn't."

"I know."

Gray knew now that nothing would shake her off that thought. What if it had been real? He didn't know what he'd do, if he never ended up with Lucy.

A thought occurred to him.

"You know, if it really felt that real," said Gray thoughtfully. "What if that had been a past life of ours? Like what if maybe we really didn't get together then, but we were reborn here and now so we could be together?"

Lucy stared at him. "That sounds kind of cool," she admitted. "But sad, at the same time. I mean, if we didn't end up together in that life, what's the guarantee that we'll end up together in the next life? Or the life after that?" She looked down at his hand, cradling her own. "What if this life is all we ever get again?"

Gray tightened his grip on her fingers. "Then let's make it count," he said. "I'll love you enough to last a lifetime. A million lifetimes. It doesn't matter who you'll be with, or me. It doesn't even matter if we exist in the same timeline or not. I'll find you. And I'll go to you."

Tears had started trickling down her face at his words, and he moved closer.

"Always you," he whispered, feeling strangely tearful himself. "Only you, now and ever."

She buried her face into the crook of his neck. "Always you," she whispered. "Even in that dream, I loved you. Even when I married that man. I waited for you. Only you."

He felt the wetness on his cheeks, trickling down to his chin and falling on her sleeve. "This life, and after. Only you, ever."

"Gray…"

"Lucy?"

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

"… we're already married."

"Just answer me."

"God, yes. A hundred times over. Again and again, until you never have to ask anymore."

I'm sorry I'm not there with you.

But I love you.

And I'll do anything for you.

And now, I may not be able to see you -

Touch you, kiss you, hold your hand.

But I can do something.

I can love you.

I'll love you.

Forever.

Always.

I love you.

end.

Author's Note: Arceus, me and my tragedy. This takes place between "Goodbye," and "Always." Somewhat of a sequel to Goodbye and a prequel to Always. Hence, lines from both stories.

History:

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published July 21, 2015

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To be honest, I've fallen out of the fairy tail fandom. Mostly because I know GrayLu is never going to happen. That in itself is a really petty reason to hate a series, but I think it's actually quite valid. I mostly fell out of love with fairy tail because of what's going on in the anime. In the manga, NaLu and Gruvia are definitely in motion, but it isn't, like, shoved in our faces. But the animators are so clearly trying to market Nalu and Gruvia that I'm actually really annoyed. I may just be biased, anyways, but... well, I always knew that GrayLu wouldn't be endgame. The only way it would be is if Mashima decided to troll us. Meh. (this is why I'm falling so hard back into the Harvest Moon fandom. There is no set bachelor for your MC to marry. I can ship whoever I want and it would still be canon.)

My author's notes are getting longer and longer, aren't they? Whatever. I don't know if I should have ended this story right at the part where Gray asks her to marry him again, because if I did, this would be my FIRST story where they end up kind of happy. Meh. I didn't even actually mean for this to end up between Goodbye and Always. Me and my intelligence.

Disclaimer: fairy tail doesn't deserve the honor of being mine.