Kenshin's Little Problem
By B-chan
A/N: When was the last time I actually uploaded something on fanfiction.net. -.-;;; Well, this was a crazy fic I wrote near the end of this school year, and was inspired by my friends... Never mind, if you actually want to read, it will be down below. I did not think I would actually post this, but... XD Why not? I'm psycho enough! =D
WARNINGS: Rated R for sexual jokes and hints at lemon/lime. Go back if you don't like!
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Kenshin scrubbed the kimono in the laundry, smiling happily. Today looked like it would be a beautiful day!
"Busu!"
"Mou! You stupid little kid!"
Kenshin looked up to calm down the always quarreling pair.
"Oro!" he cried when Yahiko nearly ran him over, leaping over his laundry tub and his bokuto almost smashing into the red head swordsman's face. Snickering, the spiky-haired kid ran off.
A storming ki hurtling towards him made Kenshin turn his head. A furious and red Kaoru charged towards him, gripping her shinai tightly. Despite the anger that made her look very scary, Kenshin couldn't help but be amused. His Kaoru could be cute when she was annoyed, even when she took it out on him.
Um... did he just say my Kaoru? Kenshin mentally blushed and oro-ed.
"GAAH! THAT UNGRATEFUL BRAT!"
WHUMP
"OROOO!"
Kaoru muttered something, voice muffled due to the fact her face was buried in Kenshin's chest. A very warm and muscular chest. Bad Kaoru! Very naughty Kaoru! Kaoru pushed herself up with a start, blushing madly. Kenshin sat up, rubbing the back of his head. Kaoru's breath caught as she stared quite openly at the chest that was in front of her nose that peeked through the opening of Kenshin's blinding magenta gi.
Kenshin looked down, feeling his face grow hot at seeing Kaoru sprawled on top of him in a very suggestive way. His purple eyes widened, and Kenshin gasped as he felt a certain part of him that had not been put to use for so long perk to attention at the feel of Kaoru's stomach pressing heavily against it.
Kenshin lifted Kaoru away quickly. 'Oh, not now. Why now of all times?! Oh.... um.... sessha is so embarrassed... stop it! Um... sit boy!'
Kaoru blushed further, noticing fleetingly that hard... ahem... thing between Kenshin's thighs before she was pushed away. She may be a naive girl, but Kaoru knew about that.
'Oh my,' a voice in the corner of her mind whispered, 'That was HUGE! How is it possible to--?" BAD Kaoru, VERY, VERY BAD Kaoru!
Gasping, Kaoru scurried off inside the house. Kenshin snapped back to his laundry, trying to get his mind off of his evident desire and Kaoru's luscious little body squished against his, all the while trying to calm himself down.
A vision of a naked Kaoru was not helping his unstable mind. 'Oroooo. This has to stop, de gozaru yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
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Kaoru sighed. After coping through breakfast with Sano, Yahiko, and most of all, trying not to look at Kenshin had been soooo hard. But nothing compared to how hard Kenshin was when she was on top of him-- BAD KAORU!!!!!
Huffing, Kaoru went out to put away her practice swords and other items used when she had been practicing with Yahiko that morning. After closing the storage doors, Kaoru noticed Kenshin sitting on the porch, pulling out his sakabatou from the sash around his waist. He unsheathed the reversed edge sword, examining it. Kaoru blinked, observing quietly.
Kenshin's violet eyes perused the blade carefully, all the while talking to himself. "Hmm... Sessha has not cleaned this is a while. Looks like it needs polishing, that it does." Kenshin walked back inside, coming back with a cloth which he began to rub on the sword. His hands moved smoothly and deftly, sliding up and down the blade as he concentrated on it. There was a mark on the very tip, and Kenshin scrubbed at it hard.
Kaoru watched his hands, and the constant up and down movement from blade to hilt. Kenshin put his sword back in its catch.
"Hm... this sheath is old and worn. Maybe Sessha needs a better and new one. This one is damaged from overuse and it's hard to slide or pull out this sakabatou from."
Kaoru nearly snorted her mind wandering. 'Maybe it just needs some oil for say, lubrication?!?!' STOP IT! BAKA KAORU NO HENTAI!!!!!
Jeez... she needed a cold bath.
Kaoru stomped over to the bath house, fetching water and not bothering to heat it up.
Kenshin soon heard the faint splashing of water and came around to the bathhouse.
"Kaoru-dono? Do you want me to heat up the furo?" Kenshin called in from the small window.
Kaoru blinked. She was about to answer no, but halted. If Kenshin knew she was desperately in need of a cold bath, what would he think?!
"Yes please Kenshin. I'd like the water to be very hot, thank you."
Kenshin complied, fetching wood and starting up the heat. His, um... daydreams were returning and Kenshin fought the urge to suddenly want to barge in and pretend it was accident...
He felt himself growing again. 'Orooooo. Why does she make me so hard?!?!'
In his head, Battousai unsheathed a katana and smacked the rurouni with the flat side of the blade. "You idiot! Don't tell me your years of abstaining us has made you forget? You WANT Kaoru. You want her in your bed, naked and moaning, and thrashing, and--"
'ENOUGH, YOU BLOODTHIRSTY ANIMAL!'
'Hey, I only speak from experience'
The rurouni glared at the Battousai who lazily grinned.
Battousai tapped a finger to his chin. "It's been ten years hasn't it? I'm not sure I can get a proper erection after you've been holding us back for so many god damn years!"
Rurouni grit his teeth. 'I still can, see!'
"Wow, easy boy! I think our delicious Kaoru is done with her bath."
Kenshin snapped out of his reverie. He glanced down at his lap, and his jaw dropped. AAH! He couldn't get it to stop! And it was already so ready as it was...! Stop thinking of naked Kaoru, stop thinking of Kaoru taking her clothes off, stop thinking of taking a bath with her, stop thinking of tearing off her clothes, stop thinking of her moaning, stop thinking of.... what... penetration? Ooh, that looks and even tastes GOOD.
"OROOOOO!" Kenshin ran off into the dojo. Kaoru stepped out of the bath house, frowning at his strange behavior.
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Later that evening, Sanosuke left to gamble, and Yahiko to escort Tsubame home. Kenshin was cleaning up the kitchen, Kaoru in her room and changing into a thin white sleeping yukata. She smirked, a strange feeling overcoming her.
Kaoru left the room, sneaking back to the kitchen. Kenshin was washing off kitchen knives which had in previous events hurt her. Kaoru bit her lip, an embarrassed blush spotting on her cheeks.
This would be her first time, and she wanted to take it slowly, but could not hold back form lunging and throwing her arms around Kenshin's waist.
"Oro? ......Miss Kaoru?"
Kaoru kissed Kenshin's neck, reaching a hand into his gi and massaging his stomach.
"K--Kaoru, what--?" Kenshin stiffened against Kaoru. Another part of him stiffened even more.
"GAAH! KENSHIN NO BAKA! You make it so HARD to seduce you!" Kaoru yelled, running outside.
Kenshin stared at the shoji door Kaoru had dashed out of. Seduction? But he did turn hard. ...BAD KENSHIN!
"Now that sounds interesting," the assassin within him spoke up again.
Kaoru sighed, plopping her chin into her hands. She stared up at the sky, and the white twinkling stars.
"Mou... this sucked!" she complained about the day and her failed attempt.
Strong, warm arms curled around her. A mouth pressed to her ear, the hot breath washing over her.
Kenshin whispered lowly into her ear...
"I suck better."
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Well that was super fun to write. I'm not weird.... REALLY I'm NOT! Well... okaaaaaay... o.O
A lot of this was inspiration, mostly from me and my friends' insane conversations and also episode 66-Kenshin's "Proposal". XD Therefore, I dedicate this to my friends Hannah, Haley, Isabella, Marlene, and Nikki(Waterflash)! XD
The ending of "I suck better?" It's something my friend Hannah says. Someone yelled, "You suck!" and she yelled back, "I SUCK BETTER!" She is CRAZY INSANE! XD
"...Sit boy." I was thinking Inuyasha. If you're one of the people who knows me well, you know that I can twist practically so many things to sound dirty...
Um, well that is all I have to say. If you liked, then know that I am posting my other short one-shot soon. Untitled right now, but it's got Kenji asking his parents the famous question: Where do babies come from!
YAY! It's done and I have stopped ranting. Please review!!!