Merry Christmas :)
Because I feel like Aisha/Nex doesn't get the love it deserves, I thought about writing a christmas-oneshot dedicated to them. This 'oneshot' however turnt into a 'twoshot' because I wasn't sure whether I should write one including memories of Nabu or not, so I asked this question on Tumblr and the 3 people that replied said I should write both.
So here's the first, a bit sad, chapter. I hope I'll manage to post the second part tomorrow.
Hope you like it ^-^
For the third time in a row, Bloom threw a Christmas party at Alfea, and for the third time in a row, Aisha did not care.
This year, however, she had an excuse: Nex. She wanted to spend the first Christmas party with her new boyfriend alone with him at the lake – at least that was what she had told the others, knowing that they would, of course, support this wish. Even though Musa had looked at her as if she knew perfectly well that this was not the real reason for her absence.
At first, Aisha had wondered if she should think of an excuse for Musa as well, so that the two of them could secretly do something alone. But Musa, even though she was single and had no real enthusiasm for Christmas, still knew how to have fun in the midst of all of this.
Then Aisha had realized that the thought of spending the evening together with Nex was not even that bad, which is why her excuse became the truth.
She had to wait for him, as always. When they had had their first date, Nex had been half an hour late, and Aisha had been making fun of his non-existent punctuality ever since. She had not known whether he was actually unpunctual or it had just been a coincidence, but she was sure that, since then, he was always intentionally late – which was in no way a problem for Aisha, because she could always tease him with it. And he could tease her, as they always did, for that was their thing, and they both loved to make fun of each other, and occasionally make the other go mad.
"Hope you didn't wait too long," Nex called as he approached her. Aisha had spread a blanket on the shore of the still lake, let a few candles float in the air, and carefully placed a bottle of wine and two glasses in front of them. Nex sat next to her and gave her a kiss that was too short for her taste.
"Not really," Aisha replied. Nex looked at her in surprise, knowing that she had had to wait at least twenty minutes for him. "I've come a quarter of an hour later, so I won't have to wait too long," she lied, and Nex laughed.
"Good to know you adjust yourself to me," he said, grinning. "By the way, I have something for you."
He handed her a small box, which Aisha had not noticed before.
"A present?" She asked, surprised.
"It's Christmas. Whatever that means," he said.
"But ... I have nothing for you," Aisha admitted guiltily. She had not expected that Nex would give her anything.
"You haven't given me anything for my birthday either, so I can also handle it today," he replied with a shrug.
"I didn't know the date of your birthday," Aisha defended herself, but she felt her face getting hotter. This had been a very embarrassing experience that she would not like to remember – and of course, Nex did everything for her to never forget it.
"Doesn't matter. I'm already grown up. I can handle it," said Nex. He tried to make a serious face, but she could see him suppressing a smile. "Now go ahead," he added.
Aisha had almost forgotten the present. Nex still held it in his hand, and this time Aisha took it without further protests and opened it.
The was a small card within it. Aisha took it and, as she was looking closer at it, she could see that it was a tour on the planet Silex. And there were two tickets.
"Thank you," she said, giving Nex a kiss. "Next year I'll give you two presents, I promise."
"It would already be enough for me if I get the second ticket and we go together," he said, laughing.
"Need to think about that," Aisha replied with a smile.
"I'm alright with that," Nex said. "Presents are about giving your loved one something beautiful and not about you receiving something."
"That sounds great," Aisha laughed.
"I've heard Helia say something like that earlier and I thought it sounds quiet poetic, so I've repeated it. Have I impressed you?" He added, grinning.
"Not really," Aisha replied. "You clearly either had heard Helia say something like this or read it in some book. But since you aren't reading, only one option remains."
Nex just laughed, and then they told each others about their day, made a few jokes, complained about a few stupid people and drank their wine in the candlelight.
"Since when are you celebrating Christmas?" Nex asked.
"This is the third year," Aisha replied. "Bloom brought it from the earth to Alfea – and now it has become a nasty tradition."
"I think it's alright," Nex said, shrugging.
"Yeah, sure," said Aisha. "I think it's unnecessary. Musa too. Only this year it's probably worse for her because she doesn't have Riven. "
"I doubt it bothers her."
"Nah, you're wrong with that," Aisha said. "She may seem strong on the outside, but inside she feels as shitty as I did two years ago. Only she can handle it better. "
She looked at Nex and suddenly noticed that his face had hardened. Then she realized what she had just said, and she lowered her gaze.
Aisha did not want to talk about Nabu, she did not even want to mention or suggest anything about him, and never did. She did not want to burden Nex with it, and if she was honest, neither herself.
For a while there was silence, then Nex cleared his throat and Aisha hoped he would change the subject, but he then said gravely: "So the first Christmas was ... after ...?"
Aisha nodded, without looking at Nex.
She could remember it well. All their friends had had fun, had each other. Good spirits had prevailed everywhere, and aisha had been part of it until the wave of Nabu's memories had washed over her and despite the colorful atmosphere she had disappeared into darkness.
If he were still alive, they could spend Christmas together. Would she now sit there with him and the others and sing songs and eat biscuits and just be together? Would they be married? Of course they would be, they had planned so much for the wedding. He had always tried to slow her down in her zeal, but Aisha had known that he had actually found it to be rather cure. And whenever she was afraid that everything was going too fast and could not manage anything, he had laughed, taken her into his arms, kissed her head, and said that everything would be great. We love each other and only this is important. Everything else comes by itself.
"Aisha..." It was Nex's voice which sounded so broken that it freed her from her thoughts.
She looked at him, and when she saw how worried he looked, she suddenly realized that she was crying.
"Sorry," she squeezed out, surprised at how heavy her voice was. Suddenly it was very tight in her chest and she felt as if she was no longer able to breathe. She could not stand it anymore – these thoughts, and Nex beside her, who had sounded so broken, almost helpless.
"Sorry," she said as she got up. She turned and went back to the forest, the sound of her name behind her.
It was all so unfair!
She did not want to involve Nex. None of this would ever be his fault and she did not want him to feel like he was only a second choice, a substitute. Because he was not, and he would never be, even though it would certainly be different if Nabu was still alive.
Why did you just have to die? Aisha thought as her tears rolled down her cheeks. She hated it when she had no control over her feelings. And she hated it when memories of Nabu grabbed her out of nowhere, again and again, and threw her into this dark abyss.
There were never memories of whole events or conversations, but always only trifles. She remembered how much he loved her hair. Whenever he had had the opportunity, he had played with her hair or buried his face in it. She had loved to pull him onto the dance floor, and although he had always pretended to be uncomfortable, he had laughed all the time and had not even make any effort to sit down again.
If he had never died ... they would have been so happy, Aisha was sure about that. A wedding that even Stella would have been envious, maybe even children ... he would have been such a great father …
But he never will, because he is dead!
Maybe then everything would have been easier, Aisha would never have met Nabu ... No! As much as the loss hurt her, she would never exchange the memories of him. Their story had not been long but it had been the best.
"Aisha?"
She had not noticed that she had stopped running, but now Nex was just a few steps behind her. She wiped her tears and then turned to say, "I'm so sorry. Sometimes it's just ... I do not know ... I …" She stopped talking, fearing the tears would fall again.
Nex immediately came towards her her and took her in his arms, and Aisha buried her face in his neck. She felt guilty that she was burdening him, but on the other hand it felt good that he was here to hold and comfort her.
"It's all right," he said softly.
Aisha had no idea how long they were standing there, because suddenly all the time seemed to have disappeared. They were silent and Layla thoughts became emptier and emptier so that the only thing she still felt was Nex's heartbeat.
"I'm sorry," Aisha repeated as she pulled away from the embrace. Her tears were dried and to her surprise, Nex smiled at her.
"Why should you feel sorry?" He asked gently. " Do I look like I'm angry with you?"
Aisha shook her head.
"You still miss him. It's okay. I would be surprised if you wouldn't," said Nex. "But maybe you should try not to suppress your feelings and thoughts."
"What do you mean?" Aisha asked.
"Talk about it."
"With you?" She asked in surprise.
Nex shrugged. "Why not?"
"You don't mind?"
"Should I be jealous of a dead man?"
Nex suddenly looked frightened by his own words, but Aisha laughed. She laughed and it felt good.
"Thank God. I thought the joke was too early," Nex said, laughing as well now.
"Four years are not 'too early'," Aisha replied, still smiling.
"Do you want to go back?" Nex asked.
Aisha smiled at him and nodded.
Maybe it was time to talk to Nex about Nabu. Or just not trying to avoid it all the time. Because Nex was right, Nabu was dead. It hurt, and Aisha was sure it would never go away completely. But she had Nex, and it did not seem like she would be able to get rid of him soon. And if she was honest, she did not want to anyway.