Anger. Pain. Frustration. Blind rage. Despair. Depression. Hopelessness. All terrible emotions, and they were all one girl could think about. They spun around in her head, causing her great pain. What was wrong with her? Wasn't she good enough? Did she not do a good job? Was it all her fault that this had gone down the drain?
Was she just not meant for this? Did she drag the rest of them down with her? Was this all her fault? ...All her fault... All her fault... All... Her... Fault...
"All my fault" the distressed girl whispered to herself, the words void of any emotion as they slipped through her cracked lips.
Her blue eyes however, were doors to her soul, hiding nothing. Showing her self hatred and despair for everyone to see. The grief hanging around the petite girl was like a cloud, and she welcomed it.
"This is all my fault" she spoke to herself once again, "All my fault. Everything is my fault"
Sudden rage overcoming her, the petite girl leapt to her feet. Grabbing the first thing her hands touched, she flung it visiously at the wall. She repeated the action several more times with various items around her room, until the finally collapsed.
Grief overwhelmed her once more and she wrapped her arms around herself while she tried to fight back the moisture brewing in her eyes.
"All my fault" she whispered again "I don't deserve to be in this room"
With that thought, anger consumed her and she dug several cans of paint out of her closet, and yanked them open. She stuck them on the floor, dunked her hands each into a container, and then flung the paint on the wall. She didn't care what images came out, she just couldn't look at those walls anymore.
They reminded her of her mother. Of her lover. Of everything that could of been, but wasn't because of her.
Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she senselessly flung pain at her walls. The paint was everywhere, and she didn't care. Black paint dripped from the ceiling, landing on her golden blonde hair and staining it a morbid color. Red dripped off the fireplace, and white was thrown senselessly across the walls.
Screaming in frustration, she flung her paint covered fist at her closet door, smashing right through it.
"It's my fault" she sobbed "All my fault"
She continued throwing paint across the room, kicking some of the half full cans as hard as she could, sending them across the room and into the opposite wall, cracking the wall and splattering it garrishly with color.
There was a knock on the door and she froze, green paint oozing from her left hand, orange from the right. Black, red and white paint oozed from her previously blonde hair, and various other colors had plastered themselves over her body.
When she offered no answer the door slowly opened and her lover stepped in. Well... her ex-lover. He stepped in, shock clear in his beautiful eyes as he surveyed the damage around the room, and the paint dripping from the beautiful woman in front of him.
"I'm not good enough" she rasped
"What do you mean?"
"We got cancelled. It's my fault. I'm not good enough"
"Cassie, it's not your fault"
The blonde turned around with a nearly hysteric sigh, tugging her hands through her messy hair. She quickly gave up, and placed them on her hips.
"Who's fault is it, then?" she asked retorhically
"Nobodys" he replied "The guys that cancelled us are just idiots"
"They cancelled us because nobody liked us, Adam. And nobody liked us because of me" she sighed, dropping her body heavily onto the bed
"They cancelled us because they are morons" Adam corrected her, sitting beside her and collecting her in his arms "It's not your fault Cassie, and none of us blame each other. We're not at fault here, they are"
Cassie looked up at Adam and sighed
"I don't know what to do"
"Neither do we, but get changed. The circle is meeting at the Boathouse. We'll find something to do"
"Okay" she whispered, still doubtful
Maybe Adam was right. Maybe it wasn't her fault. Maybe the guys at the CW are just morons. As she walked back and grasped Adam's hand, she was more than glad to listen to him.