The Luthor name was dark and untrusting. It could never hold much hope or brightness, it could only ever be stained with red and the black of Luthor souls. And that was all Lena could see growing up. Her outlook was shrouded with evil and dire relations in which she was blindly led to adopt these as the truths to the world. Reality became a nauseating spin that ingrained headaches that numbed her to the core. Her reality became strangers with flashing cameras, liberal liars with news segments that misspoke the 'truth' that was bottle fed to her, and the hushed whispers within the Luthor clan. But primarily, it was the emptiness that life offered.
There was bitterness in being adopted into the infamous name that many saw as a 'new chance' or a 'great opportunity' for a child like Lena. It was through growing up that she became disgusted by the lies and the secrets that they shared in privacy. With their tight-lipped responses and knowing stares that could bewilder anyone into silence. Lex and Lionel put up a façade around Lena that slowly and surely fell apart as time went on. They acted as if they loved her like she was blood and not some stranger written into the family tree on paper. In particular, Lex made her feel the most welcome and she's never been certain to know if it was a power move put in place by Lillian to foster trust or of genuine concern. Lillian, though, was always blunt and honest, and surely served to show Lena her place in the Luthor name, but she always seemed in need to assure that she did not stray.
Though the shock of it all that coursed hatred and disbelief through her veins was when Lex turned on Superman and announced his open detestation of all aliens alike. He committed himself to a reign of terror in Metropolis and acted in unspeakable crimes. Lena found it cowardice and disgusting that the Luthor name supported him. Though she tried as well, but her vivid memories of sharing a hidden love of intergalactic aliens with Lex as children sought to offer no condolences. Lex convinced her that they too had heart (maybe not as humans) but of something to equivalent proportions in terms of love and endearment. That they cared for their own like a natural instinct, and that they too would always protect their family. And with that Lena became convinced that maybe Lex would always guard her from the evils of life. But the Luthor name persuaded him otherwise.
Superman putting Lex in jail became a bitter pill to swallow for Lena, but for Lionel and Lillian it only fed their fiery hatred. The Luthor name pitted all odds against Supers and aliens to embark on a sinful vendetta to terminate all intergalactic lives on Earth. Lena, though, wholeheartedly disagreed which only worsened their relationship.
Though Lex being jailed gave her the opportunity to beam a new hope and a force for good into Luthor Corp that would overwhelm the notorious name. She became a woman trying to make a name for myself outside of the Luthor name. In which she managed to achieve through the establishment of L-Corp and the success of business. But mostly, it was the new move to National City and the sea of fresh faces that sparked a foreign feeling within herself. Happiness, perhaps.
Kara Danvers, a fresh faced reporter for Catco Magazine, coursed a new sensation that felt comparable to bliss when she was around her. Like a puppy she was carefree, happy, and excitable. She was a welcomed change into Lena's pits of despair that consumed her life. Perhaps the incentive of knowing Supergirl was around National City caused residents to become happy-go-lucky. Although it seemed as if Kara was more than just optimistic, she felt safe. A feeling that Lena's never experienced.
Even with her family in Metropolis and Lex in jail, the feeling of security has never been in her reach. The constant threat of danger, assassination attempts and despise in the public eye shows that the Luthor name carries across cities. Being secure in her life with the burden of the Luthor name was a constant battle between deceit and denial. But being around Kara Danvers offered something akin to a feeling of security, yet it was different. She offered a sense of comfort and dependability.
But as with all aspects of Lena's life, the very feeling was artificial. It's been days since she betrayed her mother and Kara has not yet contacted her by any means.
While her relation with Lillian was not a heartfelt bond between mother and daughter, the act of defiance against her still resonated within herself to the core. It was betrayal at its finest. Lena would reason that for the betterment of life in National City then Cadmus had to become extinct and my mother jailed.
Her mother's actions had embalmed the Luthor's villainous name, showing that all members were in fact mad like Lex. The press and general perception of what went down casted a darker shadow on Lena. They labelled her as another villain, as if she will also go mad with rage against aliens. The name 'Lena Luthor' was seen as another chess piece for Luthor madness to win against intergalactic life.
It all worsened with business partners pulling out of L-Corp to safeguard their financial interests and associates selling their shares for less than buying price. The entire ideology that built L-Corp as being a force for good was saturating in the taint of Luthor blood.
Yet she thought Kara would understand that she was nothing like her family. She helped save National City. She was heroic in the face of evil and despair, which cost her family ties. Kara literally became Lena's only friend in National City. Yet she couldn't even send a letter of either condolence or appreciation. Neither would Supergirl or the DEO for that matter.
After the incident, lower ranked DEO agents questioned Lena and sought answers for her mother's wrongdoings. They accused her of knowing more than she did, as if she was lying for her mother. The reception was not warm and of gratitude for saving alien life, but of untrusting of the Luthor name. The head of the DEO, Hank Henshaw, did not even bother to converse with her about the night. Instead she was left to converse with low lackeys of the DEO and NCPD Science Division like a disreputable fool.
Lena sighed, looking out over the balcony of her L-Corp office. Feeling foreign inside her own body. It was these moments reflecting on her life that coursed rage through her veins. She could never be herself – just a Luthor. All her good deeds were overshadowed by her name. She was trapped in a void of evil and emptiness that would never allow freedom and would never swallow her whole.
She took looked down at her empty glass of whiskey and the accompanying bottle on balcony's ledge and took the last swig of liquor from the bottle. Her whole life was a bitter joke and it drove her mad.
L-Corp became her life and it was faltering. She thought that Kara could offer something of more value outside of work, like perhaps friendship. But she was not there when she needed her most. Moreover, it only proved the insincerity of people. Kara Danvers was of course a reporter and a reporter only chases the story. The Luthor name was a great story to chase and even if she was constantly reminded that she was not a real Luthor the public would disagree. It became an endless cycle of disappointment and failure which was beginning to break her soul.
With that thought, Lena shut her eyes to clear her mind. She breathed in a deep breath and held on. Her heartbeat reverberated from within and it was all she could focus on. But as time went on she was forced to let out her shaky breath and with that her brain was reminded of the carnage of living under the Luthor name. It ruined everything that brought Lena happiness and she was getting tired of holding on to good hope.
Her anger spilled over and with an instance of rage she smashed the whiskey bottle over the railing of the balcony. This lack of control angered her more and she threw her glass cup over the edge, before clumsily gathering the glass shards into her open palm and sprinkling them into the open air in front of her. She watched as they glistened from the building lights as they fell gently. A feeling of content in the rage washed over her, and she was unsure of whether it was the numbness from the alcohol or the acceptance of Luthor madness.
It was in that moment that a flash of red and blue speedily entered her vision and a second later glass shards and an empty cup were dumped onto a small table on her balcony behind her. National City's renowned hero landed behind her with the gentle thud resounding in the night's brief silence.
"Ms. Luthor," her voice cooed, prompting Lena to turn around to face her. The alcohol washed over Lena at the movement and she felt nauseous. Though being a Luthor has trained her to be more aware over her outward appearance, thus she swallowed back any signs of feeling indisposed, replacing it with her sharp tongue reserved for CEO business.
"Please, leave the premises," Lena sighed, meeting the eyes of Supergirl.
"You are drunk-" Supergirl started.
"You have no right being on my property without my permission, Super," Lena stated matter of fact, almost bored. Her inner rage lessening to more of repugnance for the woman in front of her.
"You are drunk and a danger to yourself and to others. You just threw glass over your balcony from 20 storeys high. That could have killed someone!" Lena scoffed at Supergirl's feigned boldness.
"What should it matter to you? Of anything I do. Is it only when I'm a danger - a threat - that you have to come to a Luthor? Not when I save alien life on Earth? Damn it, Supergirl. I thought you were more open minded than Superman. Maybe Lex was right… A
Super is a Super after all. Egos of Gods he would say," She brushed past Supergirl to enter her office, leaving the Super confounded on the balcony.
"You don't mean that. The Lena I know is too smart and too good to think like that. I will always protect anyone of good heart in this city, you included," Supergirl paused. The momentary silence pierced Lena like barbed wire. "I apologise for not being here after your act of good for our city and aliens alike that reside here."
"Where were you?" Lena asked as she seated herself at her desk, emotionless. She shielded her inner feelings with the feigning of power, as she did on the daily. She gave off the impression that it did not matter when inside it killed her twice over.
"Funnily enough, in another dimension saving the world there with my new friends. And boy let me tell you, we have it good here. Their world was kind of backwards. Like strong woman like us and our President are not as represented there," Supergirl whisked, getting off topic. "I just had other matters to attend to. I wish I could've been here for you, though."
"So do I," Lena breathed, breaking her sharp façade as her emotions became more overpowering in the wake of the alcohol taking its toll. Weakly, she continued. "Or if not you, then someone at least… Perhaps Kara Danvers. At one stage I thought we could've been friends. You know her right? Kara? She's interviewed you before. Can I ask whether you know where she's been? I haven't heard from her and I thought maybe I would have by now." Lena's face softened as she trailed off in her thoughts. A second passed before she promptly fixed her potent stare back on Supergirl in anticipation of her response.
Supergirl hesitated having been startled by the question. Lena Luthor was staring her down, albeit more weakly than any other day, the look still sent shivers down her spine. She was looking for answers, yet her eyes gave away her already assumed dejected conclusions.
"Uh yeah I know of Kara Danvers. She… Her. Uh Catco Magazine requested her to go to Gotham City to oversee the Bard conference. She couldn't immediately be here after the events unfortunately," Supergirl looked unsure of herself. Lena sighed, again disappointment coursed through her like blood.
She hardened her look having accepted life what it serves. "Of course. It was silly to think that friendship would trump work. Even so she was probably only instructed to come and report about me before and not to make friends, though she was clever to make me feel welcomed. She would often bring me lunch because I always seemed to forget. Though I guess a reporter can never be genuine when chasing a story." Supergirl looked as if she was about to rebut, however quickly swallowed and stared ahead.
"Kara… she's someone you can rely on in normal circumstances-"
"Nothing about being a Luthor is in normal circumstance," Lena shut down, bitterly. Abruptly she got up and walked off to pour herself another drink of whiskey. Objectively, everything to do with her family was under different conditions, let it be business or personal relations. Why would a budding friendship with the new wide-eyed reporter be of change to these pre-existing procedures?
"You should stop drinking," that made Lena laugh. A sad laugh full of pain and choked back disdain. Truthfully, she never fancied the taste of any alcohol, but it numbed her and blunted the piercing swipes of life as a Luthor.
"And you should leave, Super," she pointedly spat, turning to face her.
"You're drunk-"
"That's none of your concern," She walked closer to the woman in red. The stench of alcohol becoming more apparent as she neared. "Just 'up, up and away'," she mocked before proceeding to pointedly scull her drink in defiance.
At that moment gunfire rang out from the distance and police sirens could be heard. Supergirl looked off in the direction and prepared herself to leave. She turned back to Lena, "This conversation is going nowhere. I have other business to attend to. Please don't do anything you will regret, Ms. Luthor. Good night," and with that she ran out to the balcony and flew off into the night sky before becoming hidden by the surrounding skyscrapers.
"Good night, Super," Lena mocked to her now empty office space.
A second passed and the silence became deafening once again. The ferocity of the voice in her head had slowly calmed since Supergirl arrived and she felt as if the Kryptonian had talked her from blindly walking off a cliff.
Truthfully she kind of enjoyed the little exchange with Supergirl, though she would never admit to it. Lena found her company nice after days of solitude with the only communication she's had being correspondence through emails to lawyers and business associates. Yet she was a bit disappointed in herself for assuming her CEO habit to command conversations which cornered Supergirl and may have hindered future cooperation with the hero.
Feeling exhausted, Lena looked over to her couch with her thoughts trailing to Kara who often sat down with her when she brought lunch to eat together. The girl could eat containers of takeaway food and not pack a pound. Lena was insanely jealous, though she wondered if the blonde trained with her FBI sister. Even so the bright eyed and bright clothed girl has always remained an astonishment to her, as all Lena's ever known was doom and gloom in her life. Yet the revelation of Kara not contacting her after the event™ became a quick fix to realising that no one can be that colourful without some shades of grey.
At that moment Lena spotted her laptop and before she could stop her alcohol-induced state she walked over and typed an email to Kara Danvers.