Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: Well... this is for you Addie117, written with you in mind. As you know you always are, because...I love you!
Rainy Days
There is nothing sweet about the situation they are in, not even remotely.
It should never have come to this, but somehow, yes, well, somehow it had.
Fighting really had never been in either of their nature. Fighting for others and themselves, yes, of course, but not, never, fighting with each other.
But with Burt and Carole away so much, lately, they had found themselves alone at the house so very often in the last weeks - especially since Finn had had his big revelation, acting suddenly his future, which since had meant most afternoons spent with Rachel, practicing.
Ever since they had gotten together time alone had never seemed enough, a luxury. And now, here they were for the fourth afternoon in a row, alone with hours and hours to spare, tangled comfortably on the Hummels' living room couch, talking.
With Burt gone so much, they had suddenly found themselves talking a lot about the fun things he says, the fun things he does, and in the spur of the moment Kurt is about to make a fatal mistake - or what feels like one to Kurt, for a moment, with Blaine's first reaction - when really he is just curious, like he had been curious about the mysterious brother, Cooper. "Your dad...," and Kurt can feel Blaine freeze before he gets any other reaction.
"Kurt," it is a strict and already half-desperate, begging, plea.
In the deafening silence that follows Blaine can hear Kurt's whisper all too clear, "I wish you would talk to me about you and him. Have you talked to dad about him again? My dad?"
"Maybe," Blaine replies in an even more quiet whisper, like he cannot say anything out loud when it comes to ...that man I am supossed to care about and love.
"Blaine?" It is Kurt, following Blaine's lead in tone and volume. And later on Kurt will not be able to shake the feeling that it is this sensibility of his that averts this turing from a simple conversation into a fight, cold and calculated. One of these days he and Blaine will have a long detailed talk about it. Not right now though. Right now there are other issues at hand.
They hardly ever have full conversations in whispers, but they have happened before. Strangely but not surprisingly to either of them most about people close to them, who they which they could still love, who they wish could still love them.
There are many reasons people turn on each other. The glee club, actually both glee clubs they have been in in their lives would make for excellent case studies.
But this is way more personal, much more painful.
Blaine will not give up the hushed voice until the end of this conversation, when they drift into sleep, exhaused, both, by tears held back for too long finally having burst free and drained what feels like every inch of their bodies of all energy they are capable of holding.
"Your dad asked me about my parents after they didn't show for any of our performances. Not West Side, not sectionals or regionals."
Blaine takes a stuttering breath, and Kurt knows better than to interrupt or push.
"He asked me...well, first he just made an off-hand remark - so now I know where you got that technique from to get me talking, Love - about them probably being busy, and if he was right." Kurt detects a small smile on Blaine'S lips before he talks on. "It was so sweet of him to offer me a way out. And at first I wanted to run right at it, get away, out and just...just wave it all off. But you know, I looked up, and he has your caring, open eyes. Okay, probably you have his, but that's not the point. I just...I..."
And Kurt watches on, quietly as Blaine this time comes to a full halt, burying hisface in the crook of Kurt's neck breathing heavily.
"It's okay not to tell me," Kurt whispers softly into Blaine's hair. "I just wanted to make sure you have someone to talk to."
But Blaine is shaking his head already, his voice have swallowed by Kurt's chest when he answers, "No, I...I want to tell you. I really do, it is just really hard to find the right words."
"Can I ask what you told my dad?" Kurt brings out hesitantly, not sure if it is the right thing to say, at all.
"I...I told him that...that there are some things you can forgive another person, and some...some yu can't. And that...that I have asked them to stay away, because they, Kurt, they have caused me so much pain, by accusing me of chosing this ...us, to hurt them, that I...I want you and Burt and Carole and even Finn as my happy memories from this year. Dancing with Mike and Tina, watching Santana and Brittany tango together, I want those to be my memories from the competitions we have. Not my parents, my dad sitting there, scowling at me throughout half the performance to let me know I am disappointing him, to let me know he thinks I could do, should do better."
As the tears start coming Kurt presses kisses into Blaine's free curls, whispering softly, "I understand. And I am so proud of you for standing up to them."
Kurt can feel the tears hitting his thin shirt grow thicker, and so the sobs following are no surprise. When he feels Blaine beginning to shake though Kurt can feel a crack being added to his soul; and Kurt finds himself whispering on soothingly against the pain and his own tears, "I love you. I am here. I will always be here to listen to you."
After minutes and minutes Blaine finally begins to calm a little, and with the occasional half-choked sob making its way into his words Blaine tries to explain himself, like he always finds he only ever can, only ever wants to, to Kurt, with Kurt, right there with him, "I never told you this before, because I did not feel up to saying all I just have, but...," another shuddeing breath, then, "...they saw us singing Candles and, up there on this stage with you, in love with you, it was the first time ever I forgot to search for their faces in the crowd in the hope for approval, a smile. Because...because all that mattered was you smiling at me, you being proud of me. And, and you looked so happy that day, I don't know how I could not have been."
And they are both already crying again, but tears much happier this time, and holding each other as close as they can in arms and thoughts, when Kurt whispers back, "I was thinking the same thing about you throughout our whole performance that day."