December 4, 2006 – Peoria Times-Dispatch
Hoope Is Loopy
Jordan Wilcox
Left-wing politicians run out of legitimate arguments the way most people run out of milk, but the illegitimate substitute is usually an unspectacular, tepid affair: a petty distraction, a worn gambit, an evasive platitude.
Senator David Hoope (D-NH), under fire for sponsoring a narcotics legalization bill that even most Californians regard as irresponsible, cannot at least be accused of using such boring tactics. He has skipped right past the race card and the mercy-over-justice nebulousness and gone straight to the realm of Internet conspiracy theories. Hoope argues that drug lords must be neutered (as he supposes the so-called "End Turf Wars Act" would have done with more co-sponsors) in order to nip the latest Orwellian overreach in the bud. He maintains, you see, that a federal enforcement agency has been assassinating drug lords with a poison that induces cardiac arrest.
Never mind how many lives heart disease claims, especially among adrenaline junkies. Never mind even the fine points about why, exactly, the CIA needed to be so subtle if they had located elusive, pitiless killers like Gus Krasnarov in the first place. The truly fascinating thing is that this particular theory surfaced on the Internet not a week ago.
Politicians are no doubt beginning to tire of being told to conform to the times and get a proper web presence, and likely should listen, but a senator who keeps such a hawklike gaze on bulletin board crazies is more worrisome by far. (One should only be grateful he didn't choose the narrative that Krasnarov was in fact killed by a Japanese spirit named Sparkle.)
The people of New Hampshire knew Hoope's reckless policies when they re-elected him last month. It is unfortunate they should only know now that such radicalism tends to come with vast, galloping insanity. It is doubtful they will remember this particular manifestation in six years' time, but one can hope Hoope's opponents in the Senate will diligently note it.