No Explanation

Hey! I'm back with more hurt Mike! Here's a prompt for an anonymous reader. Hope you like it! Warning: Major Character Death and mentions of suicide

He didn't know how it happened. He was so confused. All he could do was just stand there and watch the paramedics take Mike away. Harvey could barely breathe as he stood in the kid's bedroom, cold, dazed, blood all over his hands and clothes. His heart was beating loudly in his ears and his breathing was the only thing he could hear over it. Swallowing thickly, he collapsed on the bed, hands shaking.

"Harvey?"

He heard a voice in the distance, but he didn't know who it was.

"Harvey, can you hear me?"

Warm hands were on his face and he looked up to see Donna staring back at him with tearful, worried eyes. The man tried to say something, but nothing came out.

"Harvey...what happened?"

Seven Hours Earlier

Mike looked into the mirror, breathing heavily...pale, cold. It was hard. It was extremely hard to keep going on like this. His Grammy was gone and ever since then he desperately fought the urge to harm himself. Glancing down at his arms, Mike stared at the fading scars on his wrists. It had been so long ago, but of course, with his memory, he would always remember the day. The day he almost killed himself. It was exactly five years and six days ago; he had been depressed ever since he got kicked out of college. He spiraled hard and nothing seemed to make him feel better, especially lying to his grandmother. If she heard that he had been expelled for selling answers, it would break her heart. She expected better from him. He just couldn't take it anymore and he found himself with a blade in his hands, sitting on the tub in the bathroom of the apartment he and Trevor shared. The man was at work and would be for the remainder of the day so his body wouldn't be found until later...when he was long gone. Mike sobbed hysterically as he made a deep, horizontal line across both his wrists. Blood immediately began spilling out, dripping down his fingers and onto the floor. He closed his eyes and after five minutes he started to feel dizzy before slipping down to the floor. He was nearly unconscious when he heard the door slam and not even five seconds later, someone screaming his name and slapping his face. Something scratchy was tied around his wrists and then the next thing Mike knew, he woke up in the hospital, Trevor pacing the room. When the older man noticed Mike was awake, he scolded him angrily before hugging him. Mike cried for ten minutes straight, apologizing relentlessly. The next day, Trevor forced him to get help and Mike ended up talking to a psychiatrist for nearly a month. He stopped cutting afterwards. Nobody but Trevor knows and thanks to the suits he wore, it was easy to hide them.

Now, he didn't have Trevor. They had fallen apart and he didn't have anybody to help him with this. Jenny was out of the question, Rachel was still pissed with him and he was sure that Harvey didn't want to hear his stupid problems. He had only had enough kindness in his body to smoke with him and give him a few days off to mourn his Grammy's death before becoming twice that hardass he normally was. And he definitely didn't have the time to go see a professional. All in all, he was on his own for this one which made things a hell of a lot harder. He threw the blade on the ground and ran shaky fingers through his disheveled hair. He couldn't do this to himself; it wasn't right. Mike wiped his eyes and left the bathroom, needing to get away from the horrible feeling it was giving him. He grabbed the back of the couch and closed his eyes, breathing heavily. Now was not the time to freak out; he had to get to work before Harvey ripped him a new one. Taking a deep breath, Mike stood up, pulled down the sleeves of his shirt and put on his suit jacket before grabbing his bike and messenger bag, heading out the door.

"You're late," Harvey growled as Mike stumbled into the office. "But why should that be a surprise."

"Sor-"

"Spare me the apologies. Do you have the files?" Harvey was in no mood for joking around today. He and Scottie broke up and she left for London this morning. It was stupid and he drank himself to unconsciousness last night, not caring about the hangover he was going to have today...which was worse than he expected. So the massive headache was putting him in an even worse temper.

Mike searched through his messenger bag frantically, not finding the papers he needed. Fuck! Harvey was going to kill him; they needed those documents for the deposition today and if he didn't have them, he probably wouldn't have a job in five seconds. "I-I must've left them on my t-table," Mike stuttered. Today was not a good day at all. He had been so preoccupied with not trying to hurt himself that he forgot about the files he was working on last night.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Harvey seethed, looking up at his associate with hatred in his eyes. "You really are useless to me. I thought I hired a goddamn man, but all I seem to have is an incompetent little boy. I really should've cut my losses with you when Jessica found out you were a fraud."

"H-Harvey-"

"No, get the hell out of my face, Mike! I can't even look at you right now."

"But Harvey-"

"You're fired! I'm done putting up with your shit, Mike. I know your grandmother's death knocked you down a peg, but that doesn't give you an excuse to slack off! We're done, Mike. Get your things and get the fuck out of this firm! Jessica will be glad you're gone and frankly I will be, too."

That hit hard. How could the man say that to him? Was it true? Would they all be better off without him? Of course they would, Ross. You're a fraud and frauds never get anywhere in life. Mike swallowed thickly as he stared as his ex-boss, tears forming in his eyes before he rushed out of the room, his chest hurting.

When the kid disappeared, Harvey sagged and pinched the bridge of his nose. Great. He didn't know why he let those things come out of his mouth, he was just so pissed and Mike had made it worse. He had to take it out of someone and Mike gave him the perfect opportunity. Collapsing on the couch, he put his head in his hands, trying to cool down.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Harvey!" Donna shouted, bursting into the room. "How could you say those things to him after he's done nothing but work his ass off for you even given all that has happened in the last few weeks?!"

"Donna-"

"Don't Donna me. Mike is in a bad place right now. So what if he forgets something once in a while. He has a lot on his mind right now."

"Donna!"

"You make me sick; you go apologize to him right now!"

"I need to cool off first...but I will." Eventually.

Donna just scoffed, rolling her eyes and leaving the room angrily. She had to go find Mike. Something was up with the kid lately. Yeah, his grandmother just died so he might be a little off, but it wasn't that. She had seen it in her mother. He was depressed.

Mike rushed into the bathroom and the second he did, he let the dam break. He clutched the edge of the sink and his body shook with heart-wracking sobs. Everything that Harvey said, he knew it was al true. He was a fraud, he was pathetic and he was useless. He didn't deserve to live; he should've died with his parents in that car crash. He was wasted space and like Harvey said, he would be better off without him. It was more like the world would be better off. He looked into the mirror, his breath shuddering, face pale and eyes red. Well, if that was what Harvey wanted, then he was going to give it to him. He wiped his face and stood up straight when he heard the door open; he couldn't let any of those Harvard douches see him crying or he'd never hear the end of it...well, it wouldn't matter, because he would be dead anyways.

When he turned around, keeping his head down, he heard a soft, feminine voice. Fuck, had he gone into the girls bathroom again?

"Mike?"

He lifted his head up to see Donna standing in front of him, a sympathetic look on her face.

"D-Donna. S-Sorry, must've gone into the wrong bathroom."

"Actually, I'm in the wrong bathroom," she chuckled weakly, but sobered up immediately.

Mike barely smiled as he just stared at her, wondering what she was even doing.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

He just stood there, shocked that she was taking his side over Harvey. "Y-Yeah." Another bout of tears were about to come; he had to get out of here.

Donna gave him a look. He knew she knew he was bullshitting her. "Mike. Come on."

His bottom lip trembled and before he knew it, they were both on the floor and he was in her arms, crying into her shoulder.

"It's okay. You'll be okay. He didn't mean any of that." Why was the kid so broken? She had never seen him cry before and now this?

"I f-find that hard to believe," Mike choked. "I can't...I can't do this anymore Donna."

"Do what?"

Live. He pulled away. If he gave her any hint that he was killing himself when he got home, she would never let him leave or out of her sight. He wouldn't even put it past her if she admitted him into a psychiatric hospital. "I have to...I have to go, Donna."

The red-head frowned as she helped the pup stand.

"Harvey wants me out of here and I'd rather go on my own than be escorted out by security."

"He wouldn't do that," Donna scoffed.

"The man hates me, Donna," he sighed, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "He'll do anything so he won't have to see me again." He headed for the door but then turned around. "I'm gonna miss working with you. You've been nothing but a mother to me." He left the room, but Donna ran after him, grabbing his arm.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Again, something was nagging her. "I mean...do you want me to bring you home or something?"

Mike smiled weakly. It was gonna kill her when she found out he had offed himself. "No, I'll be fine. I just need to be alone for a while." He pulled his arm from her soft grip and started for the elevator. It wasn't long before he felt her grab him again.

"Mike...you...you aren't gonna try anything are you?"

Mike looked at her with wide eyes, his face drained of color. Keep it cool, Mike. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, you're not gonna try and...hurt yourself?"

"Of course not," he kept his voice steady. "Donna, I promise. I'll be okay. I was here on borrowed time anyways. It was only a matter of time, right?"

The red-head bit her lip. "Alright then...I'll call you later."

Mike nodded, but knew he wouldn't be answering that phone call. He would be dead before it even came. He smiled at her before leaving; he was on autopilot the entire ride home, biking slowly so that he could enjoy his last hours. New York City was actually nice when he wasn't rushing. When he got home, he slowly walked inside and took a deep breath. He scanned the room sadly. This was it. He was leaving all this stuff behind. Mike dropped his bag on the floor and began to pick up the messy room, not wanting whoever got stuck with the task of getting rid of everything to have too much work to do. When he was finished, he slipped off his jacket and loosened his tie, throwing both on his bed before grabbing the tin can his hand pipe and weed were stored away in. Within seconds he was relishing the high the drug was giving him. It took away his pain that he had and the pain he'll have very soon. He smoked for about five minutes before grabbing a notepad and pen.

Harvey-

I know you want nothing to do with me ever again, but if you ever come across this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined your life, making it harder to be a lawyer than before you met me. I put your job on the line and no matter what, even though I was so grateful for it, the things I do good will never make up for it. I'm a screw-up, and you're right, I'm useless. I don't deserve to live and I'll be making your life better by leaving. You won't have to put up with me any longer. You should've cut your losses with me after Jessica found out about me. If you care to know why I did this...I just couldn't do it anymore. It just hurts. I have no one anymore; you were my last reason for living. The job was my last reason. You were like a father...or a brother to me, Harvey and now I blew it. My grandmother is gone, you're gone...I have no one and this seemed like the only reasonable thing for me to do. I'm really sorry Harvey. And I'm sorry Donna, I know you tried to help, but the truth is, I'm not worth helping...I'm a waste of space...a burden and soon enough you'll both forget about me. Thank you for everything that you have done and goodbye.

-Mike

The blonde took a deep breath, setting the pen calmly on the table before getting up and grabbing the razor he threw on the ground this morning. He went into his room and sat on the floor against the end of the bed, staring at the silver blade. This was it; there was no turning back...and this time he would not mess up. Swallowing tersely, he pressed the blade against his wrist and dragged it up towards his elbow. This way would be more effective than horizontal cutting. His arm began to sting as the blood spilled out all over the place. Before he got dizzy, he shakily did the other arm and then dropped the blade on the floor, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, letting out a huge sigh of content. This was happening; he was finally going home.

~+SUITS+~

Harvey rubbed his forehead as he threw down his pen, unable to focus on his work. The words he said to Mike...the look on the kid's face kept replaying in his head. He guessed that was something he deserved for being a complete bastard to him. The guy just lost someone who was close to him and he reamed him out like there was no tomorrow. He felt really bad. It had been barely an hour when he "fired" the kid and Donna wouldn't stop giving him looks. Sighing heavily, he stood up and went to her desk.

"What, Donna? What?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at her.

"What do you mean 'what'?" She said innocently, not looking up from her computer.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" She glanced up.

"Like you're gonna rip my fucking head off."

"I don't know...maybe because you still haven't apologized to Mike."

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Would it make you feel better if I went over with a case of beer and a bag of weed in my hands."

"Yes. Harvey...I found him in the bathroom crying his eyes out. This is more than what you said to him...more than his grandmother dying. Something else is wrong."

"What do you mean?"

Donna shook her head. "I don't know. But you need to find that out...and fast."

The fact that he probably made Mike cry pulled at his heart and made him feel guiltier than ever. He nodded silently and went back into the office, grabbing his coat before heading out of the firm. Maybe he was a little harsh on the kid...no, not maybe and not a little. He was harsh and it wasn't a little, it was a lot. "Fuck." What has he done? Ray was already there when he got outside and the drive was quick. He stopped by the store and grabbed a case of beer and then coffee cart guy to get the drugs. Usually he wouldn't condone this kind of behavior, but he was dick to the kid and he deserved it. When he got to the second floor, he stood in front of Mike's apartment and took a deep breath. He just hoped that he would be forgiven. Harvey knocked on the door quietly and waited for a couple moments.

"Mike? Are you in there?"

Silence. He knocked again, harder this time and all of a sudden, the door creaked open. That was weird...and worrying. Harvey pushed the door open further, stepping into the disturbingly quiet apartment. "Mike!" And then he saw it. The pool of dark liquid on the floor and a hand poking out from behind the wall.

Harvey's heart dropped to the floor along with the beer as he rushed over. "Oh no...please no." Mike was on the floor, his face ashen gray, his lips blue and...so much blood flowing out from his wrist. Harvey fell to his knees and quickly grabbing the suit jacket from Mike's bed and pressing it against the bleeding wounds. "Mike! Don't do this to me, kid!" While he was putting pressure on the kid's wrists, he leaned forward, hovering over Mike's slack mouth and Harvey grew cold. With his free hand, he placed two fingers on his neck. "Mike...no, Mike dammit!" He wasn't breathing...and there was no pulse. By now, his pants were soaked in blood and tears were dripping down his cheeks. "Mike." He had to call for help. He couldn't do this alone. With trembling fingers, he pulled out his phone, getting blood all over it and tucked it under his ear after dialing 911. After telling the operator where he was, he ditched the device and continued to try and revive the man he considered a little brother. But he wasn't budging

"Mike! Oh god, please don't do this to me." He placed a hand on his forehead...it was cold. That could only mean one thing. No this can't be happening. This was all his fault...he never should've said those things to him. Especially when he was already down in the dump. He choked a sob, still desperately trying to save the man's life. "Mike!" He cupped the man's pale face, his hand caked in blood and smearing it over Mike's cheek. "Mike, wake up, dammit! Please." But he knew it would never happen. He had been too late. Sobbing, he dragged the kid's cold body into his lap, resting his cheek on Mike's spiky hair and clutching him tightly, praying that he would wake up and laugh. "Mike, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Present

His body shook as he watched Mike being placed onto a stretcher with the sheet pulled over his head. His bloody arm hung off the gurney as the paramedics rolled him away and out of site. Donna came not long after, trying to get him to talk, but he was in shock. Mike was dead...god, just the sound of it made him sick. Mike Ross was dead and he was never coming back...and he drove him to it. Had the situation not been so grave he would've laughed at the irony. He remembered saying he'd be better off without the kid. Why did he fucking say that? Of course he wouldn't be; Mike was a little brother to him, sometimes a son he never had and now he destroyed that. Breathing loudly, he stood up off the bed with shaky legs and wiped his nose with the back of his arm. He walked to the window and stared outside, knowing Donna was still watching him. His chest felt tight and his stomach churned...and when he saw the envelope with his name on it. He inhaled sharply while he opened the letter and scanned it slowly...after that he just couldn't hold it in.

"Oh my god." He bent over the table and started heaving violent sobs. He drove Mike to kill himself and now he couldn't take it back. The guilt would eat him alive. He felt Donna rubbing his back, whispering soothing words, trying to make everything better. But nothing would be "better" ever again.

"What have I d-done Donna? This is my fault." He collapsed on the chair and Donna hugged him tightly, crying with him. They lost a friend...a brother...a son. And Harvey would never get over the fact that he made this happen. Just to think, he and Mike got high, joked around, and nearly pissed in Louis' office mere weeks ago and now this? How could he let things get so bad so quickly?

Hours passed before Harvey felt he was able to get up without puking.

"Come on, lets get you home," Donna whispered, helping him stand and walk out the door.

"No...we have...we have to get to the hospital. I have to see if Mike's okay."

Donna pursed her lips sadly. The poor guy was in shock. "We will, after we get the blood off of you, alright?"

Harvey nodded and they walked down the stairs. Harvey knew deep inside that his associate wasn't going to be okay. That he was long gone by now...he just didn't want to believe it.

~+SUITS+~

Five Days Later

It was six in the morning and Harvey sat in his kitchen, drinking a bottle of scotch while staring at the suicide note Mike wrote. He couldn't stop reading it...over and over and over again. As much as it killed him inside, he couldn't stop. Maybe because he deserved to feel guilty...deserved the pain. Mike didn't deserve it, though. He never did. He had taken time off of work; he didn't know how long it would be, but he didn't think he'd be able to go back when he knew Mike wouldn't be there. Donna, Jessica, even Louis tried to get through to him, but he wouldn't budge. He would just stay in his condo, drinking himself to oblivion, wake up with a pounding headache and repeat. Stubble was growing on his pale face, his eyes had deep shadows underneath them and he probably hadn't showered in at least three days either. Sighing heavily, Harvey took another sip before picking up the note. I don't deserve to live...you won't have to put up with me any longer...I just couldn't do this anymore. It just hurts...you were my last reason for living...you were like a father...or a brother to me...I'm not worth helping...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Harvey choked a sob and took another long gulp. He wished he had a chance to apologize...to talk to Mike to see why he was feeling so depressed. Then maybe he would've been able to get him help...to keep him alive. God, the pain would just not go away. He bunched his hair in his fists as he took unsteady breaths. He can't live with this guilt. Mike funeral was tomorrow; he was supposed to be giving the eulogy, but truth was, he didn't even think he could handle even going there in the first place. Groaning, Harvey rubbed his face, finishing off the alcohol and stumbling to the couch. Before even hitting the cushions, he was out cold. He just hoped the nightmares he's been having, ever since Mike committed suicide, would stop. They were gonna destroy him.

Something felt different. It didn't feel like he was on the couch, or even on the floor. Harvey felt like he was on a cold bench. Shit, what the hell did he end up doing? Opening his eyes, the lawyer sat up and frowned; he was in an empty court room...and in the front of the room, he saw familiar blonde, spiky hair. Mike. Harvey shot up from the bench and rushed over. Maybe Mike dying was all a nightmare and he was at the end of his nightmare where he finally learned his lesson to not take the people you care about for granted.

"Mike!"

The kid turned and smirked. "Someone looks relieved to see me. Usually, it's a roll of the eyes."

Harvey didn't care if it looked weird. There was no one else but him and the kid. He strode over with a laugh of relief and brought the man into a tight hug, tears rolling down his face. "God Mike, I thought you were dead. Don't you ever scare me like that again."

The smile from Mike's face disappeared and once he and Harvey were done hugging, he pulled away. "Harvey...I am dead."

A look of horror flashed across Harvey's face. "What?"

"I'm dead, Harvey...this is Heaven. Well, sort of; it's my Heaven anyways."

Harvey's heart fell as he dropped into the chair next to his associate. Well, he had hoped everything was just one big nightmare.

"I'm sorry, Harvey," Mike said.

"Yeah? If you were sorry, you would never had killed yourself," the man said coldly before his face relaxed. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I drove you to it. I just...I was mad about something else and I took it out on you. Had I known you were so depressed, had I know that you...you had thoughts like that...Mike, I would've been there for you. No matter what. You were like a brother to me."

Mike pursed his lips. "Really? I find that hard to believe after everything you yelled at me."

"I didn't mean it, kid. God." He pinched his eyes, trying not to breakdown again. "All that blood and being unable to save you...and you weren't breathing. It did something to me, Mike. And now all I have is guilt and hatred towards myself."

"That's how I felt after my grandmother died. I felt guilty that I rarely ever went to see or spend time with her; I hated myself because she did so much for me after I lost my parents and even when she was in the home...and I did nothing in return. I was a horrible grandson and I couldn't take it anymore. I had nightmares of my parents accusing me for their death and my grandmother saying she wished I had died with them since I was such a burden," he took a shaky breath, looking at the opposite wall and not at Harvey. "Anyways, I was spiraling and the only thing keeping me afloat was you and the job; it was all I had and I screwed it up."

"I wish you had come to me earlier about it, kid," Harvey sighed, staring at the tearful associate. "Or Donna...just somebody. I could've saved you. You're not a screw-up or useless or incompetent. I don't regret hiring you and...I'm definitely not better off without you."

Mike looked at Harvey sadly. "I can tell seeing as though you are nearly dead, too."

"What?"

"You're in limbo. You're gonna kill yourself Harvey if you keep drinking like you are."

"Don't fucking talk to me about killing myself," Harvey growled.

"Right, probably not a good example. I'll admit what I did was stupid. I just thought that there was no one or nothing left in the world for me so I figured it would be better if I was gone."

"Well, you figured wrong Mike...thankfully there's no one around here to hear this but...I do miss you, Mike. It's not gonna be the same without you. I was really proud of what you've become. I just wish I had just told you these things sooner.

The blonde smiled weakly. "Thanks Harvey." Without notice, Mike hugged the older man and Harvey didn't hesitate to hug him back.

"I'm sorry, Mike."

"Me too."

When they pulled away, wiping the tears from their eyes, Mike stood up as did Harvey. "What's next for you?" Harvey breathed.

Mike shrugged. "Who knows. But for you, you have to go back. Donna will kill you if you die. Don't do what I did; you'll break Donna's heart."

"I'm really not dreaming, am I?"

"Technically, no..." a beat of silence. "You know I'll always be with you, right?" Mike said, looking at the older man.

Harvey smirked. "Alright, enough cheesy chick-flick moments here." But Harvey did know that. And he was glad he got to see and talk to Mike one last time even though it wasn't completely real.

Mike just rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Goodbye Harvey. Kick some of Hardman's ass for me."

"You don't have to worry about that," Harvey grinned. "Goodbye Mike."

The blonde smiled one last time before walking out the back door of the court room and leaving the older lawyer in utter silence. All of a sudden, he felt water dripping on his face and someone shouting his name. He looked up at a bright light and before he knew it...

He realized he had somehow gotten in his shower, the water running and hitting him in the face while Donna was trying to revive him. He groaned and tried to sit up, but his limbs weren't cooperating.

"D-Donna?" What the fuck happened.

"Dammit, Harvey Specter! Don't fucking scare me like that again!" She screeched. "I already lost one family member this week, I'm not losing you too!"

The man squeezed his eyes shut, as he reached up blindly to shut off the water. He was soaked to the bone. There was only one reason for why he was like this: he had really nearly drank himself to death.

"Here," Donna said coldly, passing him a towel.

Harvey looked up at her and grabbed it quietly before standing up and wrapping the towel around his body and slowly walking out of the bathroom. His head was pounding and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember what happened. All he could remember was his conversation with Mike.

"Harvey, are you gonna explain yourself?" Donna said, coming up behind him.

The man didn't turn around; he just looked out the window quietly.

"Harvey Specter! What the hell is wrong with you? I've called and called and you didn't pick up. I-I was worried that you...and I came here to find you passed out on the floor. The drinking has gone far enough! What would've happened if I didn't come? What if you had died? Harvey, are you even lis-"

Harvey spun around and without warning he hugged the red-head tightly, knowing she probably wouldn't care if he was wet. Donna was stunned but let the man hug her.

"Harvey-"

"I'm sorry, Donna," he sniffed. "It was stupid."

"You're damn right it was," her voice muffled against his shoulder. "Are you...are you alright?"

Harvey pulled away with a weak smile. "I'm...better. Not great, but better."

Donna smirked. "You sure?" The last time someone said they were fine, they ended up dead not long after. She tried not to think that she could've stopped it all from happening had she brought Mike home or to her place.

"I promise."

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight...we can go to the funeral together."

"Yeah...I'd like that."

"Good, cause I wasn't taking no for an answer. Go change and I'll make some soup. Who knows if you caught anything...plus you'll probably have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"Great," Harvey chuckled, heading for his bedroom. "And Donna? Thanks."

"No problem, Harvey. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Me too."

The Next Morning

Harvey, Donna, Rachel, Jessica and Louis sat in the front of the church while waiting for the service to start. Donna was holding Harvey's hand tightly as she tried not to cry. Harvey, on the other hand, had no more tears to let go. After he finished his soup last night, he caught a glance at the suicide note and as much as he tried to be manly around the secretary, he cried for a good amount of time before she helped him to bed. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was drawn and pale; he didn't get much sleep. The eulogy he had wrote this morning was shaking in his hand; he didn't know if he could do this.

"Harvey?"

He looked over at Donna, taking a deep breath.

"You want me to do it?"

He shook his head. "No...no I have to." For Mike.

The woman smiled sadly and gave him a one armed hug. "You'll be okay."

I hope so. He stared at the closed coffin on the steps and sighed. No turning back. The preacher soon came in, said a couple words and then asked anyone who wanted to say anything to go up. Biting the inside of his cheek, Harvey let go of Donna's hand and stood up, trying to keep his cool. He couldn't fall apart now. When he got to the alter, he looked up at the small group of people who came. Trevor and Jenny had actually showed up; he wasn't completely sure they would since neither of them answered Donna's phone call, forcing her to leave a message. A blonde, that introduced herself as Tess, had come, saying she was Mike's old girlfriend and long time best-friend from his childhood. There were some other people that he had no idea who they were, some of the workers from the firm that didn't hate Mike and then the people he considered somewhat of a family. Rachel's head was down, a tissue up to her face and he knew that she was taking this hard. Louis was comforting her, his face was equally saddened. Jessica's was stoic, but her eyes had welling tears in them. Even if Mike was a fraud, he had been a damn good lawyer and a part of their family. Hell, he made Harvey start caring again. Donna looked up at him with a smile and he nodded, clearing his throat.

"My name is Harvey Specter, I worked with Mike at Pearson Hardman." He looked down at his crinkled paper. "Mike was like a son to me...sometimes like a brother. Ever since I met the kid, I felt like I had that connection with him. I felt that no matter what I needed to protect him. I guess I didn't do a very good job. Mike Ross was a pain in my ass and he constantly annoyed the crap out of me, but I cared about him...a lot. He was an amazing lawyer and I wish I had...told him that sooner." He cleared his throat again before continuing. "I had a huge honor for working beside Mike and I respected him by no means. He lost his grandmother not too long ago and no matter what, he kept working. I wish I had been there for him more and I wish that none of this happened; that I could've prevented it from happening." You could've if you hadn't fucking fired him. Harvey swallowed thickly. "Mike will always be my best friend, the kid that I could really count on to have my back and we've all lost a great friend, a colleague...a brother. I only hope that he knows the world lost a great man." He pursed his lips and bobbed his head before stepped down, sitting next to Donna once more.

"That was nice," Donna whispered, squeezing his arm.

The corner of the lawyer's mouth twitched upwards as they listened to the rest of the preacher's prayer. When he finished, they all stood up and the five of them, including Trevor, grabbed the handles on the casket and brought it the grave plot right next to Mike's grandmother. Before Harvey knew it, the casket was being buried. Ten minutes went by and the dirt was packed and everyone placed a single flower on top before leaving. Harvey was the last one. He just stared at the plot, reading what was going to be on the gravestone. Donna had done all the work, but he had paid for it. The church, the casket, the ceremony, the burial plot and the gravestone. Mike deserved that much plus more.

"I'm proud of you, Harvey," Donna said, gazing at the grave along with him.

"Can I have a moment alone?" He asked.

She smiled at him. "Of course. I'll be in the car."

Harvey waited until the woman left before he wiped his face and kneeled down. He didn't care if he got his suit dirty; it was worth it.

"Hey kid. Hope you thought that wasn't too bad...and I hope you're doing okay up there without me. What am I talking about, you're a kid genius with a freak brain, of course you're okay. You would've been a great lawyer, Mike. Probably better than me. I'm sorry things ended up this way; I wish I had been able to save you. I'm sorry, buddy." He rested his hand on top of the cold dirt before standing up and walking away. Things were going to be different for a long time...probably even forever and it was gonna be hard when he wouldn't see Mike bobbing away to music at his desk or joking around passing movie quotes with him. Harvey knew he would never be the same again, but he was gonna try to get on with his life. He still had Donna and it would be cruel to leave her after everything she had done for him and for Mike. When he got to the car, he slid inside and smiled at Donna.

"The rest of the service is going to McGritty's for drinks, do you want to go? I know I said no more drinking, but only if you don't go too far."

"No...I'm gonna take you out to dinner. Just you and me. You deserve it after everything."

Donna raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? Where too?"

"I don't know...pick a place."

"Alright," she chuckled. "If it's on your dime."

Harvey rolled his eyes but placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it. "Thank you, Donna. I don't know if I would've been able to get past this without your help."

"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're okay. I guess someone up there is watching out for you."

Harvey thought about his "conversation" he had with Mike the other night. "You have no idea."

FIN!

Hopefully Harvey wasn't too OOC or that the ending wasn't too bad. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more hurt mike!