This is my first fanfiction and I really had fun writing it, so I hope you guys enjoy it :)
A special thanks to MarzaPanda who beta'd this. Thank youuu! :)
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"This isn't about last week. It's about you, Blair. It's the reason I couldn't say I love you. It's because I can't trust you." Chuck said.
It was like a slap in the face.
"I did this because I love you." Blair tried to explain, still puzzled by the comment he had just given.
"Be that as it may, I have a club to open. And you're no longer invited." He said, and she could hear the anger in his voice.
"Fine!" Not knowing what else to say, she walked out of the club. What was he thinking?
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"Hey Chuck! Great club opening; everyone looks satisfied. By the way, where's Blair- I haven't seen her around!" Nate asked his best friend.
"You haven't seen her because she isn't here. Well, not yet, anyway." Chuck said, with confidence that his girlfriend would come to the opening, even though he had uninvited her.
No one ever could stop her from doing anything, not even me, Chuck thought.
One hour later
"Well it seems like she's not coming, Chuck!" Nate sighed, looking up from his watch.
"Of course she will! She always does!" Chuck said, though less certain than an hour before.
"But why isn't she here then?" Nate asked, and saw that Chuck's expression change in disbelief. "What's going on?"
Nate turned around to follow Chuck's gaze. The police were walking into the club and everybody looked scared.
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Blair was lying on her bed studying, when someone knocked on the door. "I'm not in the mood to talk, so whoever it is, don't dare come in!" She called.
The door opened. "What the hell? I said stay outside!" She said without looking up to check who it was.
"Blair, why didn't you come to the opening? I missed you there." he asked in a low, sweet voice. So it was Chuck.
"Did something hit you in the head? You uninvited me a few hours ago." She spat, eyes still focused on the book in front of her.
"That never stopped you before!" He laughed in disbelief, amazed that she actually had listened to him. Now she was the one who smiled sarcastically.
"Yeah, right, I'm such a bad person that I didn't even respect your desires. You told me not to come so I didn't come." She said, still not looking up.
"Why are you so upset?" Chuck asked her, confused. He knew that he hadn't been nice to her earlier, but it couldn't be just because of that.
"Got time?" She asked, as if her problems would take days to explain. He didn't answer, but waited to hear her explanation.
"Fine!" She finally looked him in the eyes, indifferent. "First of all, you didn't forgive me for last week. You say you did, but it's obvious that you didn't. What do you want? I apologized over and over again. Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness? I know it was wrong, but I can't change it anymore. Then you called Serena and told her that you don't want me near this. I was there. It was humiliating to hear that in front of my best friend. You chose her over me. You knew that I could have planned the opening, which was, by the way, my idea. Not to forget the crowning statement that you made about not trusting me. It's like you just waited for an opportunity to push me away from all of this." She said it calmly, keeping the emotions from her voice— not wanting to cry. Showing weakness was yesterday.
"But Blair, you called Jack! How can I trust a person who goes behind my back and calls him for help?" Chuck's voice rose.
"You didn't want me near this before I even called Jack! You said that you couldn't say I love you, because you don't trust me, so I doubt it's about Jack. But why did you trust me then, when you were on the rooftop and I reached out my hand to help you to come down? Weren't you afraid that I would push you down the building?" She asked sarcastically; she knew it was not fair to bring this weak moment of his up—but she was upset, because she knew that he trusted her right then. "And it's funny how you can talk about trust as if you were better! Remember when you posted about us to Gossip Girl and ruined everything? Or when you used Carter as a cover to get what you wanted, because you didn't want dear Nathaniel to find out about us?"
Chuck was getting annoyed. "Are we really doing this now? Taking our past into the present?"
"You were the one who started it; you said that you couldn't trust me! Tell me one reason that you couldn't trust me! Tell me!" Her voice rose, but she managed not to show how this had hurt her.
Chuck hesitated. "You slept with Jack."
She frowned, but she knew how to counter. "So what? You slept with Vanessa! And not only with her—with everybody you found! So did I lose any trust in you because of that? No, I didn't! Even if it hurt; because you knew exactly how I felt about you and you didn't care!"
Chuck didn't want to lose this argument, as he generally hated to lose. "And what about Marcus and Nate?" He asked angrily.
"What about when I went alone to Europe or when you destroyed my Cotillion by manipulating Nate? Or when you refused me on Nate's grandfathers' gathering?" With this question, she answered his. Her eyes filled with tears. Damn it. She didn't want to cry, not in front of him, not this time. "And after I said I love you the first time, you came back to me. You lay in my bed and you wanted me to put all the pieces together, you wanted me to be there for you. So don't dare tell me that you didn't trust me. You just said you don't trust me, because you wanted to hurt me like I hurt you! And you know what? You succeeded! And the worst thing is that you did it on purpose!"
He didn't know what to say. It was true; he just wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him with that gay kiss and Jack; but he didn't know that it would have such a big effect on her. He should have known better. Of course he trusted her, even more than he trusted himself. "Blair…" He started, but she interrupted him.
"I don't want to argue" She said, voice low. She hated to argue with him. "How was the opening?" She asked trying to put a smile on her face. No matter how much she disliked him right then, she still loved him enough to care about him and his business. She knew how important this opening was to him.
Chuck was relieved the moment she changed the subject. To lose was one thing he hated but to argue with her was the thing he hated even more. Then he remembered the opening and the anger in his eyes came back. "It was a disaster! Someone called the police and everybody left, because they thought I was doing something illegal. The police wanted to see the liquor license, because somebody told them that it was fake." He said, angry.
She could understand his anger, but no way that the license would have been fake. She knew that it was impossible. "Did you have anything to do with it, Blair?" he asked, eyes dark.
She looked at him in surprise. Did he really think that she would do something like calling the police on him? Apparently yes. So she let him believe what he wanted to believe. Her surprise changed into a cold and uncaring look. "You said I'm not trustworthy. You wanted it that way, you got it that way." She said, cold and emotionless. "And now, please leave!" She added.
"How could you Blair?" He almost screamed. "You know how important this night was to me!" His voice was rising by the second.
"Chuck, just leave now okay? Leave!" She yelled back. He turned, but she stopped him.
"Chuck?" She said, still with a harsh tone.
"What?" He asked angrily.
"You can take this with you! I don't need it!" She pointed her finger on the couch, where the packet with the dress that Chuck had given her for the opening was lying. It hurt him. She never refused a gift even when they argued.
"It was a present, Blair! I won't take it." He said calmly.
"Are you deaf or something?" She stood up angrily, taking the packet and pushing it against his chest, and with it pushing him out the door. "I don't need it! Like I don't need you!" With this last sentence, she slammed the door in its face.
After the loud slam from the door Blair couldn't help herself. She felt that her knees couldn't carry her any longer so she collapsed and started to cry aloud. After a while, she stood ,still upset and sad-actually more upset than anything else. He really didn't trust her. It hurt her too much. She took her books and threw them against the wall with it a loud cry as hard as she could. Then she walked into her bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Chuck, who was still standing on the other side of the door, heard the bang in her room and her crying. Why is she upset now? She was the one who ruined the opening; he should be the one upset, not her. After he heard another door slamming, he opened the door to go into her room again. Then he remembered that she was in the bathroom. Even if he was furious, he felt guilty, because he was obviously the cause of her pain. He went to the bathroom door, but didn't open it, just sitting with an ear pressed against it. He could still hear her crying. She was sitting on the other side of the door; he could feel it, even if he couldn't see it. Between them: only the door, that he was afraid to open. Suddenly, he heard her punching numbers on her phone hastily. He just hoped that she wasn't going to call Jack. Please not Jack, he prayed.
"Nate?" He heard her saying. It was Nate. he was kind of relieved, but on second thought, he was her ex. Why did she call him?
She didn't know what to do. The one that she loved more than anything else didn't trust her. She really needed to talkt to someone. Her first thought was Serena, but they weren't on good terms, so she started to dial Nate's number.
"Nate?" She asked, her voice faltering from tears.
"Hey; what's wrong?" He asked, concerned.
"I had an argument with Chuck!" She started to cry even harder. "I'm sure he hates me now, and that he didn't want to see me anymore! I didn't know who to call! I'm sorry if I disturbed you." She said though tears.
Chuck, who was still outside the door and hearing one side of their conversation, shook his head after hearing that Blair thought that he hated her now. Yes, he was angry, but he would never hate her because of that.
"No way Chuck would hate you; every couple have arguments, even you two. And Blair, you can call me anytime. You're not disturbing me." Nate said to calm her down.
"Thank you," she said, still with tears running down her cheeks.
"So what's going on with you two? Why didn't you show up tonight at the opening? Chuck expected you to come." Nate asked her.
"Did he say that?" Blair asked doubtfully.
Chuck wasn't sure what they were talking about; he just hoped that his best friend didn't say something that he would regret afterwards.
"Yes, of course." Nate continued. "But why on earth would he hate you?"
"He thinks that I called the police." Blair answered, sobbing.
"Did you?" Nate asked, voice full of shock.
"Of course not!" She yelled at him. "I would never do that to him. I know how important this night was for him, and that was the reason why I called Jack! I would do everything for him. I would even sell my soul to the devil in person if it would help him in some way!" She said.
"Seriously, Blair, Jack is the devil in person." Nate tried to loosen up the conversation.
She managed a slight laugh over her tears.
"I really doubt that he believes you called the police!" Nate continued.
"I told him I did call the police!" She said quietly.
"Why would you do that?" Nate asked, confused.
"Because he accused me, so I let him believe what he wanted to believe. And he also doesn't trust me, because I'm such a bad person who manipulates everyone and who shows no respect for other people." That wasn't exactly what Chuck had said, but she just felt that way.
How could she claim something like that? Chuck thought. He never said things like that. He just wanted to go in the bathroom and talk to her, but he wanted to know where the conversation between them would go. He felt bad that she was feeling that way. How stupid could he be, thinking that it was her who called the police?
"No way would he say that!" Nate said in disbelief. "Remember when we were together the last time?" Nate continued.
"You mean, when I dumped you without explaining it to you?" She laughed.
"Actually, I knew exactly why you dumped me. It was because of Chuck!" He said, a bit hurt.
"I'm really sorry that I did it that way, but my heart just belongs to him." She replied.
Chuck melted against the door when he heard her saying that. It was clear that her heart belonged to him, but every time she said it he felt so lucky. He just loved it.
"I know, and I knew it a long time, but I just didn't want to let you go. But you love him, and I understand that." He said. "Actually, what I was trying to tell you Blair is do you remember when you told my grandfather that you would convince me-"
"To go to Yale so I can be a bridesmaid?" Blair finished his sentences and started laughing again. "I was a terrible girlfriend; I'm so sorry Nate!" She said.
Nate laughed too, but then his voice got serious. "I was hurt after hearing that you would go behind my back and do that to me. Do you know what I did after that?" He asked.
"What?" She asked curiously. What did he want to tell her?
Chuck didn't like it that they were talking about the time when they were together. It made him jealous to know that she had history with guys other than him. He knew it was stupid, because he had been with a lot of people too, but Blair was his-and she always would. Not even Nate could change that.
"I went to Chuck and asked him if I was stupid to think that you've changed. Do you know what his response was?" He asked.
"What?" She asked, even more curiously than before.
What were they talking about now? Chuck wondered. Why was Blair's voice so curious?
"He said that it's stupid for me to want you to be someone else than you actually are." He said softly.
"Did he say that?" She asked again, doubtfully like the first time she had asked that question.
What was Nathaniel telling her? He couldn't figure out if it was something good or bad, because Blair's voice was so not transparent.
"Yes he did, so he knows how you are and no matter what, he didn't want you to change, because he loves you just like you are. And if he really said that he doesn't trust you because you're manipulative, than it's because he was upset-I doubt he really meant it." Nate said.
Blair smiled, tears of relief running down her face. "Thank you, Nate." She sniffled. Then she realized something. "Oh my god!" She screamed.
"What?" Nate asked, alarmed.
"I told him that I don't need him. What if he thinks that I broke up with him?" She said, wailing in fear.
Chuck was smiling now; she really thought that he would let her go so easy?
"Then call him." Nate said.
"I will. And Nate…thanks. You really helped me." She said.
"No problem. Bye Blair."
"Bye." She hung up.
Chuck stood up from the bathroom door, not sure if he should leave or stay. He decided to stay. He sat down on her bed, and heard the bathroom door know turn. Blair was walking in his direction, but she was so concentrated on her phone that she didn't realize that someone else was in the room. Her eyes were red and swollen, and there were still tears running down her face. She was trying to call him. He smiled. She pressed her phone against her ear and looked up, finally seeing him. She looked relieved.
He stood. "Blair, I'm so sorry."
Her phone dropped to the floor and she walked towards him, hugging him like never before. She was crying now, her head on his chest. He caressed her hair and closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry that I pushed you out the door like that. I didn't-"
"It's okay." He interrupted her. She didn't stop crying and he felt a tear running down his face too. He was just relieved that he actually had her in his arms.
"You know I need you, right?" She sobbed.
"Yes, I know. As much as I need you." He answered. "Blair?" His eyes opened, and he took her chin gently so she was looking into his eyes now. "I trust you, and I'm sorry that I let you believe anything else than that. But Blair, you are the only person who could ever hurt me, because I opened myself up and let you in. I didn't tell you that I love you for so long, because I know how powerful those three words are. I was afraid that you would hurt me someday, and you did after using me for a fresh man toast." He said it, not angry, low, his hand still on her chin.
"I'm really sorry that I hurt you." She said, and looked down so she didn't have to meet his eyes, who would probably show his pain. He still tried to look into her eyes.
"I 'm not hurt because I kissed a guy; it's just because you didn't tell me the real reason why you wanted me to do it." He said, wanting to understand.
"Because I was stupid. I don't know why I didn't tell you. I thought that you'd think that I'm silly and childish because I wanted that fresh man toast so badly that I would let you kiss a guy." She said, a bit embarrassed.
"I would never think something like that." He smiled.
"And about Jack…" She continued shyly.
"I know, you just wanted to help!" He grinned. "Blair, I love you! Actually, it's more than that. I would do everything for you, even selling my soul to the devil in person." He smirked.
"You eavesdropped on my conversation with Nate!" She laughed and hugged him even tighter without breaking his gaze. "I love you too, Bass!" She said.
He captured her lips with his. "You have no idea how much that means to me." He said in between kisses. They spent the night together like they hadn't for a while.
The next morning Chuck got a message that the barkeeper did call the police, because a friend of his had also opened a club at the same time. He had wanted to get the customers out of Chuck's club and into the other. The barkeeper was fired, of course.
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