Author's Note: I'd apologize for the long delay in this but I have three good reasons: 1) Being an attorney trumps being a fanfiction writer, economically at least (which, I know, sucks for my readers and I, but at least I get paid to be a lawyer); 2) My dad passed away completely unexpectedly a few months ago and "moving on" with life has proved to be a rather challenging and daunting task; 3) You deserve a story that is finished before it starts. After the amazing reviews Heart of the Matter got, I could not write something that was sub-par. It was difficult to imagine where I was heading with this sequel once HOTM ended and I wanted you all to be able to read something you deserved.
Important Note/Spoilers: If you have not read my other story, Heart of the Matter, you will NOT understand this story (though you are more than welcome to try). Sorry. Spoilers through Season 2, mostly (I'm too lazy to go check), though my story generally takes place in an alternate universe where some things happen but never in the same order or of the same degree. Also, I've done a vast amount of research in all applicable areas but considering that I am not a forensic pathologist, medical examiner, or even medical doctor, it's not feasible for me to research every aspect of forensic pathology. Therefore, if you do have this knowledge, please let me know if I have gotten something wrong, I would love to know. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own most of the characters or the basic story premise. I do, however, own the plot so if it shows up somewhere else, this is your friendly warning :) Any similarities to actual people or events are accidental!
It had been one month.
Exactly thirty days; seven hundred and twenty hours; forty-three thousand, two hundred minutes; and two million, five hundred ninety-two seconds. Maura knew this for two reasons. One, because she was gifted in mental calculations. And two, because she had been inadvertently counting the whole time. She'd been mentally counting every day that had passed since the first time Jane had told her she loved her. Unfortunately, it was also the last time Jane had told her she loved her. Sure, Jane had continued to treat Maura the way Jane had always treated her. She smiled at her and hugged her and even kissed her. There had been days where Jane would slide into the left side of the bed and they would wake up in a tangled heap, unable to determine with any clarity whose limbs belonged to whom. But it had been one month since Jane had uttered those three words Maura desperately longed to hear. Maura had painstakingly scrutinized the reasons why for the last thirty days. She dissected, analyzed, and deliberated, for nearly seven hundred and twenty hours. Even now, when she was supposed to be paying attention, when she was supposed to be talking about herself, Maura felt an unyielding compulsion to talk about Jane.
Maura looked at her therapist. The way her curly brown hair was haphazardly thrown up into a bun. The way her striking blue eyes were hidden behind black-rimmed glasses. The way she sort of looked like Jane in the dim lighting of her office. Though, if Maura was being fair, she realized that it didn't take much effort for her to find a piece of Jane in everyone.
"You with me?" The question brought Maura out of her daze.
"Hmm?" Maura wasn't exactly sure what she was asking. Grammatically incorrect fragment needing revision... possible figure of speech? Maura could not be sure.
"What is troubling you Maura?" Maura hated the way that her therapist leaned forward, as if showing her she was interested. Maura's keen observation of body language allowed her to come to the conclusion many sessions ago that her therapist really wasn't all that interested. To what degree could one be interested in a complete stranger? She would have to attempt to look that up later. For now, Maura looked at the woman sitting in front of her, leaning slightly forward, pen poised between two fingers, eyes fixed and waiting on a response. Many things troubled Maura. Social protocol stated that she would need to narrow it down to just a few. Her brain worked double time, attempting to sort through the myriad of facts and feelings and observations in their separate compartments. I should talk about Jane.
Instead, Maura pursed her lips. "Well, I really cannot understand why people eat food traditionally made for breakfast at dinner. Nor why Netflix has a host of mundane Blockbuster movies but very few fascinating documentaries. Also, why people think that wearing your pajamas inside-out has an effect on the weather. Additionally, I find it most concerning that some people think that "funner" is actually a word."
The therapist seemed perplexed. Maura knew she had a history of doing that to others though she really could not figure out why or how to stop. It bothered Maura, as she was used to being able to figure almost everything out, even if she had to do a little research on Google or in her library of books. "Is that all?"
Maura frowned. No, of course not. Should I have said more? "That is all I wish to speak about today, yes."
"Of course." Her therapist offered an insincere smile before putting her pad and pencil down. "Same time next week?"
Maura stood and offered a polite smile in return. "Of course. Same time every week until you decide I can do my job just as effectively as I was doing it before Michael."
She didn't wait for her therapist to speak before standing and moving toward the door. She could feel her face becoming hotter with each step she took. Maura hadn't meant to be so harsh and she was slightly embarrassed by her reaction, but the frustration was overpowering and all encompassing. It had been a month. An entire month of therapy, and she hadn't felt any better. Though, in reality, she could admit that she wasn't making much of an effort. Maura felt stuck. An unnatural inability to move forward. Not in a way Maura had ever felt before. Sure, she did still feel guilty about James. But that was to be expected. She understood enough psychology to know that her guilt over that might not ever dissipate. What she was really stuck about was her relationship, or maybe lack thereof, with Jane. She wrung her hands, feeling instantly guilty for worrying about her relationship with Jane when people were dead due to her rash and impulsive decisions.
Maura hit the 'up' button for the elevator harder than she intended and winced at the short jolt of pain that followed. Her anger seemed to start with the silliest things lately and bubble to the surface like an erupting volcano. Maura laughed inwardly at the notion of lava spewing from anything not innate. She glanced up above the elevator doors, watching the display illuminating the numbers of the rising box. Maura glanced back at the closed door of her therapist's office, wringing her hands together. I really should go back and apologize for leaving that way. Her mother would have scolded her for such a lack of manners and etiquette. Maura turned toward the office as the elevator 'dinged' announcing its arrival. She spun back around as the doors slid open, just in time to see Jane standing there, leaning against the back of the box, hands on the railing. Maura grinned, though her stomach felt suddenly nauseated.
"Hey you." Maura watched Jane reach out to prevent the doors from closing before she could get inside.
Maura smiled broadly at the greeting before stepping into the elevator and letting the doors close behind her. She could apologize next week.
"What are you doing down here?" Maura asked, curious as to why Jane was riding the elevator back up. There was little on the two lower floors aside from the morgue and a few department offices, such as the therapist.
"I went down to your office to ask you to lunch and you weren't there, but now you're here, so..." Jane leaned forward toward Maura, grasping her hips and pulling her close. So very uncharacteristic of Jane. "You wanna have lunch with me?"
Maura bit her lip at the thrill of knowing the elevator doors could open at any moment. Jane's breath was hot against her cheek and made her shudder involuntarily. Lately Maura found herself breathlessly awaiting moments when Jane would act like she was the only one around. Maura nodded. "Yeah, I would like that."
Her voice came out as a whisper and Jane smiled in return before leaning forward and gently pressing her lips against Maura's. A soft smell of pineapples hit her and Maura sighed. She had no idea where their relationship was going but that talk could wait, at least, it could if Jane kept kissing her with such tenacity. The elevator 'dinged' again, announcing that they had reached the main floor, and they pulled away simultaneously before the doors jerked and parted.
Maura caught Jane's gaze and smiled shyly at her as they exited the elevator. Maybe things would be okay.