A/N: I can't decide on a title should it be "Memory" (the name of a song that inspired this drabble) or if I should pick something more fitting…? Oh well, I can't think of another title so it'll have to do, even if it has nothing to do with the story.

Raven thinks about her destiny, and her life with the titans. Takes place the night after "Birthmark"

This is my first fanfiction, so please tell me what you think about it! :D (Indulge the newbie)

It was night, silence, peaceful, dark, normally she enjoyed these things. She kept to herself, but not tonight, tonight it was too quite…and the shadows she so often hid in only seemed lonely instead of comforting.

Moonbeams fell down from the window, casting pale light about the room. She would never admit it, but she hated being alone. What a silly thing to say, she was always alone, they knew that. Everyone knew that. She had been alone ever since the day she was born, nobody wanted to interact with the 'demon child' after all. Even the monks who protected her and taught her control were distant. She had no family, yes, she had blood kin, her mother, and her father. But they were not her family. Her mother had been forbidden to raise her until she was ten years old, her father had made her life a living hell since the moment she was conceived, and he plotted to use her to his own ends. Family…where was her real family? Where were they now? Her friends, they had saved her in so many ways they would never even realize… but they couldn't save her any more. They were sleeping, blissfully unaware of the day approaching her fast, memories of the past, visions of the future, the present tense fell away and it all blended into the same words. The End.

The moonlight falling from the window only made her look pale as a ghost, her unnatural skin, hair, and eyes were undoubtedly traits from her father. They marked her as different, and because she was different, she was alone. She couldn't take the silence of the room any longer and went to the roof… Slate grey clouds were rolling in, covering the serene moonlight night, a faint drizzle of rain began to fall…

The soft rain fell on her hood, part of her was tempted to raise her face to the icy droplets, but she knew that she would only make herself sick if she stayed out for much longer.

Then again, she didn't really care. Her hood that hid her face in shadow fell back, and the rain soaked her short purple hair, running down her cheeks like the tears she had denied herself since she had been a little girl. Emotion was a luxury for others… Yet she could not deny her own pain, twisting in her chest, trying to break free and express itself. Maybe, for just a moment…it would be alright…to cry. Nobody would notice it like this…the icy rain soaked her clothing, but she couldn't care less. She allowed herself to admit her feelings for a moment. Her words, whispered into the storm were lost to every ear but her own.

"I'm afraid. I'm lost. I don't know what to do… I'm scared…I'm sorry. …I'm really sorry…for everything."

For a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things, for just a moment, she had been happy with the Titans. She loved them, and they her. Unconditionally, without question, they had shown her a fragment of a life she could have had with a real family on earth. Laughing, playing, arguing, yelling, fighting, and making up. They had no idea what she was…

The gem was born of evil's fire.

No idea of what she would do, what she had been born to do.

The gem shall be His portal.

The words echoed around her head uselessly reminding her of the day her destiny would be fulfilled. She hated them, the words echoed in every nightmare she had ever had in her entire life. Every time she closed her eyes and was assaulted with a vision, every time she saw that blood red birthmark appear over her skin, and since last night…every time she thought of Slade, a villain they had believed to be dead. Her father had found his wretched soul in the pits of hell, and unleashed him on her and her friends like a preview of nightmares to come.

Even if she was forced to end it, one way or another, she would still love the Titans. Her father may plan to take her free will, her life, her future, and he may even still take the earth. But he would never take her memories of their time together. In the rain, she made peace with those thoughts, preparing herself for the moment of utter destruction that would soon be upon them. He could never take away who she was, what she had accomplished as hero, and her real family would always live on in her heart.

Closing her eyes, she could see the vision again. The ruined city, the fire, the red sky, the destroyed tower, her friends, frozen in their last horrific moment of dying.

He comes to claim,

He comes to sire,

Her father would take the entire earth. She didn't know what would happen to her. She might lose her body and soul; she might be forced to watch the carnage she had been destined to create with her father. If he was twisted enough, he might make her kill her loved ones with her own hands, trapping her within her own mind, helpless to the whims of the demon she held within her. No…the demon was a part of her, she couldn't deny it and speak of it like it was separate from her. It was her. She was a demon.

She would be a puppet on a string for Trigon, her resistance only served to make it more amusing to Him. Even if she tried to kill herself, her body would be taken by his will completely and then there really would be no hope to stop it. The only thing keeping Trigon from leveling the city to ash within seconds was her will. Even so…when he was ready, even her will was just as breakable as a twig to him, she hated it…Having no power over this situation. No matter where she looked it was a dead end. She was alone, she was scared. Silently, she cried out for help, begging for someone to save her. Nobody could, but still, childishly she was crying and weeping in sorrow.

The end of all things mortal…

Why? Why couldn't she stop crying? She had known this day was coming her whole life…She fell to her knees, feeling the ice cold concrete and rainwater on her skin. Why only now, did it seem so much worse? Now she had gained something she wanted to protect… The wind whipped back her long cloak, and her leotard was completely soaking wet. The emotions she always held back, the side of her that she never showed. She felt them painfully twisting in her chest, struggling to get free…Screaming with the need to run away and protect herself from the pain. She had gotten a taste of what it felt like to be utterly helpless last night…

"-and no matter, what you wish, no matter what you do, no matter how much you squirm, there is nothing you can do to stop it." Slade's words taunting echoed in her mind with the memory. He grabbed her, holding her down as she screamed, the vision ripping into her mind, the birthmark rising to the surface of her skin, the pain was incredible, like none she had ever felt before, but it wasn't purely physical... She had never had to withstand such a torture as the one Slade and her father had prepared for her.

"This will come to pass. I will make sure of it." And it didn't stop with her falling from the skyscraper, every time she closed her eyes in sleep or meditation, they would come back, just as vivid and awful as the first time she had seen them as a child. The visions had been as completely horrifying as they had the first time she had seen them, on her seventh birthday. She couldn't remember what had actually happened, just that the monks couldn't get her to stop screaming for hours afterward.

"You're going to destroy the world, Raven, it's written all over your face." Slade had brought back that buried memory with even more ferocity and terror than when she had been small…and it was still happening…still behind her closed eyelids, the vision played over and over and over again…A sob caught in her throat. She was scared. She couldn't deny that anymore. She was scared. It was cold, she was alone, just like always.

She allowed her arms to curl around herself. She looked up from behind her tears at the distant, blurry city lights. She could sense the faint aroma of emotion in the air. Lovers embraced one another, businessmen sighed with relief as the day drew to a close, children were all sleeping, and dreaming of their futures that they believed lay ahead. It was stupidly tragic to have to end it all with a moment of no control. The despair inside her welled up, threatening to drown her within its choking depths, like an inky black water. She felt herself sinking. Deeper and deeper, and nobody was coming…nobody could stop it…nobody could help…nobody was going to save her.

Suddenly, she felt something warm; she hadn't been warm since she had allowed herself to sit in the rain.

"Raven…what are you doing up here?" She was pulled up out of the black water, she came back to her senses. "Come on, you'll catch a cold like this." She numbly let him lead her inside. Robin…her teammate, her leader, her best friend, he knew her more than anyone, yet he still didn't know her at all. Even so, standing like this, she could feel how sincerely worried he was for her, she could feel the warmth coming off of him, trying to hold her head above the waters of despair.

"Robin…" She didn't know how to explain herself, her mind was still out wandering, seeing him in front of her, didn't seem real in the late-night hours. Even though she couldn't sleep she had never felt so tired. Suddenly, without warning, she threw her arms around him. She needed something to hold onto, she needed to remember why she still had to fight.

I AM going to add more to this later, but I just wanted to post something, since I made this account a few weeks ago and then, oops I haven't posted any stories yet!