AN: So, this is just a fun oneshot that I have been wanting to write for a while now and a slight break from angst since I'm in the middle of writing The Boy with the Broken Halo :)
I'll dedicate this one to Hope, since she is so awesomely subjecting herself to my angsty story even though she prefers the happy ones. And to anyone else who needs a dose of fun to counteract the angst, this should help!
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle but I sure am psyched for September 24!
Some Rules Are Meant to Be Broken
This was not good. Nope, Not good at all. Castle was worried. Wait, scratch that, he was basically terrified. She had rules and he'd definitely broken one. A big one. And it wasn't going to be pretty.
You didn't just go around breaking Beckett's rules.
When he was getting on her nerves he got what he'd dubbed "the look." That really scary look where her green eyes narrowed and he could practically feel the disapproval radiating from her, burning into his soul. The "look" that he'd even witnessed Esposito cowering at more than a few times. And Esposito wasn't exactly the cowering type.
Sure, he enjoyed pushing her buttons.
"You know what I do believe in? Driving Beckett crazy," he'd shared with Ryan during the Zombie case.
And on the days he drove her crazy (most days), he typically got the reminder that she was armed. Or he came close to losing an ear. Luckily, she avoided his fingers, he mused. Those were much more valuable. Could he still write Nikki Heat without fingers? Maybe he could guilt her into taking his dictation if that ever happened. He smirked at his own bad joke. That would certainly be interesting…
Thank goodness she couldn't read his mind. He could only imagine the response he'd get for that line. But seriously, he'd always been told he was good with his hands. It'd be a shame to lose them.
Today could be that day.
So yeah, it was not a comfortable experience to face an irritated Beckett but he'd always survived before. On days when he was a minor annoyance he could sometimes charm his way out of it.
Breaking a rule, however, took things to another level. When you broke a rule…well, he wasn't sure he even wanted to discover what her reaction would be. But, he was pretty sure that no amount of yelling his safe word would stop the wrath of Beckett.
Oh, he was totally in for it. He buried his face in his hands, desperately hoping that maybe she wouldn't notice his accident.
He really hadn't meant to do it.
It had been an altogether uneventful morning. Beckett was doing paperwork and no bodies had dropped so far today. And he'd been staring—creepily, as she put it. So of course she was already annoyed with him.
Sometimes he pondered whether he'd ever met a woman who rolled her eyes at him as much as Beckett. She was equally exhilarating and slightly scary when he got her worked up. And he loved getting her worked up, even if it wasn't exactly the kind of worked up he would prefer. But, he knew there was a line. A big fat line between eye rolling, irritated Beckett and "Oh shit, it's time to run away before she actually pulls out her gun, Beckett." A line that he was 100% certain he was clear on the other side of now.
Earlier, when Esposito and Ryan had dragged Beckett into a meeting with Gates, she'd commanded him to stay put. "And stay away from my elephants this time, Castle!" she added, throwing him a backwards glance, eyes issuing him an equally emphatic nonverbal warning.
He was about to protest but opted for silence, trying to look as innocent as possible. For once, he had decided it might be in his best interest to comply. The elephant incident she was referring to had gotten him more than sufficient punishment. As cute as she was when she was angry, it wasn't so cute when said anger was directed at him.
"I'm sorry, Beckett!" he'd whined. "I really had no clue that the SWAT unit was bringing in the canines that day, I swear!"
"Castle, under what circumstances – canines or NO canines – would lining up my elephants along the floor to 'stampede across the bullpen' be considered a good idea?" she stated, air quoting his explanation back to him.
In retrospect maybe it hadn't been one of his better ideas. But he'd been bored. And he'd been dying to play with those elephants for such a long time. Always so tempting sitting there staring up at him from her desk. Just begging for attention.
But…ugh, it'd taken him for-EVER to wrestle the elephants away from the dogs. 52 minutes later, covered in slobber, clothing ripped up a bit, he'd managed to rescue all but one, while Beckett stood by half glaring and half amused at the spectacle.
He'd looked down at the floor sheepishly and sworn to make it up to her. Apparently she still wasn't over it completely.
So today he needed to be on his best behavior. Prove he could be good in her absence.
He just hadn't anticipated it taking so long. It wasn't a big deal, he'd thought. His game notifications had been piling up. He slid his thumb across the bottom of his iPhone screen to unlock it, and opened up his Draw Something app. He had an epic game going with Ryan at the moment.
Twenty minutes later, he was all out of distractions. No one was playing him back, there was nothing exciting on Twitter, and he'd even resorted to perusing his fan site message boards.
It was a little too creepy for him today. Sorry, RookUpInHeat69, I will not take a look at your "smut" about Richard Castle and Detective Beckett to see if you got the details right…he thought, shuddering.
Perhaps he'd go get coffee. It would be good to have waiting whenever Beckett was done with Gates. She'd probably need it. And he needed to occupy himself before he resorted to "touching things" as Beckett would say.
So he'd left to go on his little mission and typed out a quick text to Beckett, saying he'd be back shortly with caffeine.
He decided to bypass the nearby Starbucks in favor of the coffee shop he knew Kate preferred. It was a little further away but it was a beautiful day and he wasn't in a hurry. He reached into his pocket, retrieving headphones so he could listen to music along the way.
By the time he reached the shop he was in an especially good mood. He found himself whistling the notes to Moves Like Jagger. Damn, that song was catchy.
"The usual, Mr. Castle?" asked the barista, smiling at him. He nodded his agreement and then added an extra bear claw and some donuts for the boys. "Caffeine and sugar FTW! Coffee=A happy muse," he tweeted, attaching a picture of his order.
He walked back into the bullpen only to find that Kate and the boys were still gone.
Geez, whatever Gates wanted must have been important.
As he walked back towards Beckett's desk he felt like something was off but couldn't quite place it. He stopped for a moment, puzzled.
Wait a second, his chair. Or…well, lack of a chair. Where did it go?
Okay, that was weird. Was someone messing with him? He hadn't even been gone that long.
He glanced around suspiciously, half expecting Kate or one of the boys to be standing there, laughing at him. But nope, the only others in the bullpen were just some uniforms he only vaguely knew and Karpowski, who appeared to be engrossed in a mound of paperwork.
"Hey Karpowski," he said, "Do you umm, did you see anyone take my chair away a little while ago?"
Karpowski looked up and nodded. "Yeah, maintenance was just up here and grabbed it. Said something about how they were replacing them with new ones."
Castle looked around. A few other chairs were missing, now that he thought about it. "Oh, okay, thanks," he replied.
He guessed he'd just sit in Beckett's chair until she got back. That didn't really count as "touching" anything did it?
He could keep his hands to himself, he thought, glancing hastily at the identical replacement elephants that were taunting him from Beckett's desk. Oh yeah, they were totally taunting him.
He stopped by the chair, hesitating for just a minute, remembering the last time he'd been reprimanded for changing its height.
"Do you know how much it annoys me knowing what you're doing…touching things that shouldn't be touched, yanking on things that shouldn't be yanked."
He could so clearly envision Beckett swinging her legs that no longer touched the ground due to his adjustments.
He chuckled at his memory of her reproachful glare. He'd been too relieved that she wasn't scolding him about Kyra at that moment to fully appreciate the humor of the situation.
Although he knew it probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, he couldn't resist hitting the little lever on the side of the chair raising it higher off the ground. What's the worst she would do? She hadn't killed him for it the first time and he had to admit, it'd been pretty funny.
He lowered himself into the chair, reveling in its comfort in comparison to his own. He briefly wondered if the new one they were bringing to replace his would be nicer. If it weren't for the sentimental value and how fond he'd grown of it over the years, he'd have replaced it forever ago. But it was his chair.
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a scream from down the hallway.
Shit! What was that?! He jumped involuntary, swiveling in the chair when suddenly he found himself crashing down onto the floor with a resounding thud.
Oh gosh, no! He did not just break Beckett's chair. He scrambled to his feet, trying to survey the damage. Shit, shit, shit!
It lay in about five pieces on the floor. How was he going to explain this? And what the heck was that scream. He glanced around nervously, trying to see if anyone had witnessed his debacle.
Karpowski was staring, trying to conceal a laugh with her hand over her mouth. He gave her a silent pleading look in the hopes she would not say anything. She just shook her head, clearly enjoying his display.
Beckett was going to kill him. Yep, this was going to be it. Death by Beckett. Her voice played in his head…
"How many times do I have to tell you, Castle?! Do not mess with my chair!"
Just as he was pondering all the various ways she may finish him off he heard laughter. He looked over toward Gates's office, dazed, only to find Beckett doubled over laughing hysterically, while Esposito and Ryan initiated a slow clap.
"Oh my gosh, Castle, the look on your face," she managed to choke out in between laughs.
"B-Beckett, I um, I'm sorry, I swear I didn't try to break it. Please don't hurt me," he said, raising his hands in surrender.
But to his surprise she just continued laughing as he stared, completely baffled.
"What's…going on?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"Oh Castle, you're so easy," she replied, wiping tears from her eyes. "I knew the moment I left you'd never be able to resist messing with my chair. You're so predictable."
He opened his mouth to protest but Esposito cut him off, "Yo Beckett, you were right, that girly scream was so worth the wait."
"Wait a second!" Castle exclaimed. "Are you…did you…you set me up?!" he asked incredulously, mouth wide open.
"You really are easy, man," said Ryan, chuckling as he and Esposito fed the birds, walking away.
"We may or may not have arranged for your chair to be moved and loosened a few screws in my chair while you were gone getting coffee," Beckett said with a wink.
"That's so…so dirty, Beckett!" he whined.
"Payback's a bitch, huh Castle?" she joked. "Anyway, don't blame me, blame the elephants who suffered because of your actions."
"Those elephants were taunting me, Beckett!" he exclaimed.
"Mmhmm, whatever you say," she replied, rolling her eyes.
"Come on, let's grab some lunch. Gates just gave us the rest of the day off, at least until a body drops. Seemed to be in a good mood after your little spill there," she finished, laughter still shining in her eyes.
He just stood there for a moment, still processing, as Beckett turned and glanced over her shoulder. "Castle?"
He nodded his head, still incredulous. Maybe some rules were meant to be broken, he thought as he jogged to catch up with her in the elevator, grinning the whole way.
Thoughts?