So this is my first fan fic, just a twist a few friends of mine and I thought would be cool to play around with in the whole Robin to Nightwing transition. It's a work in progress so more will be coming. Criticism is welcome as well as any thoughts or suggestions. Hope you enjoy.

I do not own any of the characters, as awesome as they may be. All are the property of DC Nation.

Mistake Number One:

Everything felt cold. Everything was empty. Cold and empty, that's what his world had been reduced to. His eyes felt dry and itchy as if he hadn't slept days- because he hadn't.

"Dick c'mon you've got to eat something." Walle pushes Dick's plate in front of him, a burger and fries gone cold from sitting out for so long. Dick exhales deeply shaking his head slightly at the food.

"I'm not hungry." How can I even think about food right now?

"You can't live off coffee… please" Dick hears Walle's jacket rustle as he fidgets on the stool impatiently. He can feel Walle's eyes on him hoping he will reach for any part of the food in front of him. I can't… He moves to push the plate across the counter.

"I'm just not hungry Walle." He scratches his jaw shocked at how warm his skin is to touch, all he feels on the inside is ice. His mind travels to earlier in the day and how cold her hand felt. Suddenly it's harder to breath and he has to loosen the knot on his tie to keep from feeling like he is choking.

"You can't starve yourself!"

"I'm not."

"Then eat the damn burger." The plate slides across the bar and stops directly in front of him. He looks down at the bun, his hands balled into fists on his knees. How can I want to eat? How can he expect me to want to eat when… when Star is gone! He closes his eyes… I can't.

Before Dick has the chance to really start to remember the tragic events that had brought him here a three note ringtone plays twice. Out of his peripheral vision he watches Walle reach into his jacket pocket for his communicator. Flash must need him. Some villain somewhere is causing trouble. Walle looks at the communicator briefly and replaces it back in his pocket rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"If he needs back up you should go."

"And leave you here to starve yourself? I don't think so." Dick picks up a fry and rolls it between his thumb and index finger.

"Alright…" Dick turns to face Walle, "I'll eat this if you go back up Barry." Walle's left eyebrow goes up.

"You really going to eat?" Dick meets his eyes, a darker green today than they usually are. His face is fallen slightly, not like the class clown type Walle usually is. He's mourning too, on the inside, one the outside his is trying to take care of Dick. A flicker of gratitude manages to spark inside Dick toward his best friend but it is soon smothered out by the dread he can't seem to escape. Realizing it is the only way to get him to go, Dick pops the fry into his mouth; it tastes metallic and cold.

"Then I'll head home." He reaches for another fry, "Or to the Tower." Neither one is an easy place to be. Walle just watches him obviously not convinced but after dick forces a few more fries down his throat Walle sighs and reluctantly stands up.

"Dick I know…" Walle puts his hand on Dick's shoulder but loses whatever it was he was going to say. "Look I know it's… I know…" Please don't. There's nothing you can say to make this alright. He sighs and drops his arm. "I'll stop by later today." He hesitates for another moment searching for something more to say but finds nothing and heads out the door. Dick counts to sixty after he hears the door close behind Walle and pushes the plate aside.

Sitting alone he finds it too easy to let his mind wander and go to places he knows he should stay away from. They are the only places he can see her though. Thinking of her funeral earlier in the day he feels his eyes begin to burn with tears so to prevent the downpour he closes them and places his head heavily in his hands. Memories play out on the back of his eyelids and he watches them pass by becoming engulfed in their emotions. He sees the first time he ever met Star, the day she kissed him to learn English and he just couldn't let her run away. Did he already know, at fourteen, that she was the love of his life? A year later and they are fighting criminals side by side, seamlessly anticipating each other's actions. Fast forward another year and a half in Tokyo looking into her bright emerald eyes before he finally kisses her; really and truly kisses her. What I would do to go back to that day… A montage of shared moments, laughter, smiles and everything that made him fall even more in love with her. Then at eighteen they spend a couple of days coming up with an alias for her- Karen… no… you'll always be Star to me. He's watching her walk up the aisle toward him in white, oh how her hair blew in the breeze from the open window and her eyes sparkled. The sound of those two words, the sounds of that "I do" was the most amazing thing he had ever heard. Then a little over a month later she's nervous, holding his hand in hers and avoiding his eyes, he reaches out to stroke her hair as she looks up at him her eyes bright and hopeful; "I'm pregnant" it comes out as barley a whisper and Dick can feel the surprise and happiness stir inside him from just the memory. A little while later he is berating her for wanting to go on patrol while she is carrying a baby; his baby. Of course she got her way, she knew how to work him- throw her arms around his neck, shake her hair out of her face, and just smile up at him. God I'm a sucker… October comes and with it the little ball of trouble that is Cassandra Grayson, their little girl. He watches her grow up on the back on his eyelids; from a toddler to the nine year old she is now.

He leans forward more on the counter and pulls back suddenly when the stitches at his ribcage yelp in protest. His eyes shoot open, ice blue and blood shot. He shakes his head at himself and chews on the inside of his cheek. Star dies… and my life flashes before my eyes. He rubs the back of his neck realizes he's sweating despite the constant chill running through him. The pain in his side won't go away. It continues to throb, keeping time with the rapid beat of his heart. The faster it beats the more it hurts but he doesn't care. He has not right to feel pain, not when he let Starfire die.

The mission was bad to begin with, he should have known. Why attack and abandoned military base? Slade always had reasons and there was nothing out there, it just didn't make sense. Cassandra shouldn't have been there. She'd been on countless missions with them before but not this one. This was Slade. He shouldn't have split them into two teams… but he did. Raven, Star, and Cass went to scout the perimeter and he, Beast Boy, and Cyborg went into the main building, the most obvious place to find Slade… that was mistake number one. The hall proved to be a dead end but by the time he realized it was a trap Cass had already come running to find him.

"Daddy! Dad!" She knew never to call him dad or Star mom while they were on a mission, and Cass was a smart kid; good under pressure. Something was wrong- he took off to meet her in the doorway.

"Cass…" he caught her flying through the door, her turquoise eyes dark with fear. "What is it?"

"He's got mom!" No! The truth finally dawned on him… this was all for me! All of it to get to me!

"Where?" Cass shot her finger in the direction she came from. Dick took off running as fast as he could. Please don't let me be too late… Please!

He burst into the clearing of what used to be the training field and was greeted by laser fire forcing him to take cover behind a large boulder. With his back to the boulder he saw Cass chasing his footprints. "No! You go back to the main building!" She stopped and tried to yell something back but Dick couldn't hear over all the firing. He peeked around the boulder, enough to look but not get hit, to see Slade standing near the cliff's edge with Raven and Star lying on the ground just behind him. His breath caught in his throat until he saw that they were both still breathing. Okay just unconscious. Gotta draw him away from them. His eyes searched the landscape for anything he could use to his advantage when movement caught his eye. Star! She was starting to get up… she tried to push herself up once and fell. No, he hit her too hard. She's too disoriented. She tried again and fell, their eyes meeting on the way down. Slade still didn't know she was awake. Stay down please! He shook his head mouthing "no." That's when his world shattered. Star got to her feet and managed to knock the laser gun out of Slade's hand but she was too sluggish to fight and Dick wasn't fast enough. Slade was.

The blade pierced her right side and moved up toward her rib cage. Dick managed to pull him off of her as she fell and stuck her leg out to trip Slade. Before he went over the edge Dick felt the knife slit his side but he didn't care. Adrenaline took over. Slade fell into the rocky waters below and Dick pulled star into his lap.

"Would you believe I didn't plan to trip him?" Star's head rested on his arm and her voice already sounded strained. Dick looked at her wound… No… a four inch gash bleeding at an alarming rate.

"Hold on Star! You going to be alright…" he pushed down on the cut with his free hand. There was so much blood. No this can't happen. "Cy! I need you!" The pressure wasn't making a difference, the blood kept coming and her body was starting to go slack. Star was letting her head fall back as if she couldn't keep it up any longer. "No! Stay with me!"

"Hey…" she reached up and caressed his cheek, her voice even weaker than before. "It's okay… I… I love you Dick." She smiled at him and his heart fell to pieces.

"No! Don't start saying goodbyes!" The color began to sink away from her face. Panic set in… "You are going to be fine! You can't leave me! Please… you can't!" He was begging with her to stay but she just looked into his eyes trying to tell him it was okay. He refused to see it.

"Dick…" her voice was almost gone.

"No!" Faraway it seemed a little girl was screaming for her mom. He thought of how out of place it seemed until he realized it was Cassandra's scream. It was his little girl screaming for her mom. "We need you… please… don't…" Tears spilled over his mask. "I need you! I love you Star…"

"I love you too. Both of you… so much." Her breathing became labored and she was having trouble keeping her eyes open.

"Don't go!" Everything inside him was screaming in agony at watching her slowly die. His hands and chest were covered in blood; warm and red sucking the heat out of his skin leaving him freezing and terrified at the thought of losing her. I shouldn't have split us up… I should have been there! "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Her breathes became short and raspy.

"Don't be." Her eyes fluttered. Finally it was too much. She couldn't hold on.

"Please…" he watched as the light finally left her green eyes and they closed for the last time. "No… no…" he shook her in his arms. "Star?" His eyes widened in horror when it dawned on him what had happened. "No! Wake up! Please!" He shook her desperately and screamed hysterically. "No! Star please… you have to wake up!" his chest tightened making it hard to suck in a real breath. He held her body close to his chest stroking and crying into her fiery red hair. "I need you… no, no, no! Don't take her!" He looked up at the sky through tear blurred vision pleading with whoever was listening. "Don't take her!" He turned his face back into her hair mumbling shuddering with remorse "I need you!" A hand started tugging on his shoulder pulling him backwards disturbing his chorus of pleas. At first his instinct is to fight but one he recognized the cool metal touch of Cy's hand all of the fight and strength left him and he fell into him unable to confront her death. On his knees, with Star's lifeless body still next to him he leaned into Cy for support powerless to do anything other than sit there and cry into his friends shoulder. He shut his eyes against the reality around him, not wanting to believe it was true, only opening them to seen Raven hugging a shuddering and crying Cass in front to the boulder he took cover behind. Oh Cass… I'm so sorry…

Something slams down on the counter with a loud thunk jarring Dick from him most painful memory. He looks down at the section of bar in front of him to find a shot glass filled with clear liquid. "You looked like you could use it," the bartender explains from a few feet away. It's then that he considers what he must look like to others at the moment. A twenty seven year old guy sitting all alone in all black, sweat beading over his skin, tie hanging loosely around his neck, his hair is probably sticking up at a few odd angles, and he has had his eyes closed for the better part of his stay. To say he looked dishelved was an understatement and he knew it. He turns his attention back to the shot glass in front of him raising his eyebrows at it. He's never done any hard alcohol before; at most he's had maybe a single glass of wine or a beer once every few weeks. He touches the cool glass spinning it in circles on the counter. It had never occurred to him to drink… he never felt the need to. Besides he had to be there for Cass and if he was drunk he couldn't do that. People did say a little alcohol did take the edge off sometimes though… at least that's how he understood it. How can I be there for her if I can't face it myself? Would it help him? The pros and cons of drinking it to help him relax a little go back and forth in his mind. If it takes the edge off… The alcohol burns on its way down but the relief he thinks it promises make it worth it.

Twenty minutes after the first shot, the edge is still there. He still can't get past his guilt and anguish. How was he supposed to be there for Cassandra like that? He couldn't, that's how. He stares at the empty glass in front of him feeling truly helpless for what was most likely the hundredth time since Starfire died. A phenomenon he had never experienced before she was gone. He wished she was there with him to help him, tell him what he should do… But she's not here. Star is gone. He picks the glass back up. And she is not coming back.

"Can I get another?"