Mauve

One of my greatest fears was alleviated when Mammon first told me she was able to conceive my first child. Having a child come from my own blood, pass down my father's ancestor's name was one of my many accomplishments that I wanted to achieve. So when Mammon informed me about her being with child I was quite happy, but she didn't seem too excited about the news. In fact, she was nervous, no, not nervous rather, apprehensive it seemed. She was on the edge of complete insanity.

I've never really seen her like this before. The only emotion I ever manage to bring forth were slight hints of surprise. I would never tell, but I am rather fond of those moments where, putting a penny in her savings jar, biting her sandwich without her knowing, dropping in for a visit unexpectedly would cause such distress. It reassured me that money was not the only thing that could make her feel. Having a baby was something we hadn't put much thought into. At least for Mammon, and at the time having her close was satisfying enough. I knew eventually, as two people in love eventually do, would produce a child. The question was, when? All actions have consequences, may it be good or bad. And so it was really no mystery that she be pregnant sooner or later...at least to me.

So when Mammon came running into the room wailing and dry heaving about us having a baby, selfishly I was joyous, but selflessly I was worried. At first I thought that maybe this was just a phase that would soon brush off, but she continued to be overtaken by fear, anxiety and worry. She'd burst out into tears and fall onto the floor, she'd scream at me countless times and ask, "Will I be able to handle a child? Will it end up like me? I don't want it to end up like me! I don't want a child! I just want the two of us!" She did this for nine straight months.

This was the first time that I had no idea as to what to do. Usually, I'd just calm her down with a few soothing words and that's what I did for the first night she had told me about the new life coming into ours, but it didn't work. She hollered, sobbed and incoherently formed sentences that did not miss a single up chuck or choke. I truly had no idea how to handle a situation like this.

But later, I found that the only way to approach this problem was by letting her frustrations out; let her yell redundant sentences at me for hours and let her hit me. But even when she did this I'd crouch down, hold her in my arms, and rock her until she fell asleep peacefully, as if this repeated argument never happened. As she went into a deep slumber I would whisper into her ear, "It's not an it, it's a he or maybe a she. But don't worry, everything will be fine, after all, it's going to be the two of us raising a child." She wouldn't be able to hear my advice, but I only said this so she would remember that I was there to help.

After all, it's like the old saying, "Two heads are better than one." Why let her bear the entire burden, let her fall by herself? If she were going to fall, then let us both fall together. But let's think optimistically, this is going to be a new life a life of two plus one. The two of us were finally going to be a family.

I could have never been more wrong.

I'm sorry for not posting chapter two yet...

I just didn't like the prologue too much, but I thank Secret29 for being my beta-reader!

It's going to be a while before I update this story and the other ones...

Life's being a attention-seeking whore... :P

-onewiththetree