Okay, a little warning for the innocents. There's mention of smex in here, so if you can't take teh heat, don't read it.
I will not be held responsible infecting your innocence. Nor am I in cahoots with the Devil to do so.
Enjoy.
Disclamer: Blah don't blah own blah Naruto.
----
"W-Wait! Can't you go slower? You're ripping everything!"
"Shut the hell up. Trust me, it's a good sign."
"Man…now I have to sew them tomorrow. Tch. I'm not made to do stuff that women shoul- YEEAAOW!"
"I told you to shut up. You're noisy."
"What the fuck was THAT for? You don't have to scratch that hard, woman!"
"Only way to stop your whining, you big baby. Don't tell me you're going to cry over that small of a scratch."
"I'm not! It just stings like hell…god damn it, you're so violent. H-Hey! What're you doing now?"
"Kissing it to make it feel better. What? Don't like it?"
"No…I…eh…"
"Good. Now shut up and concentrate on what I'm doing here, unless you want to know the true meaning of pain."
"Feh…who ever knew this was such a troubleso—hn! T-Tema..ri…stop…ah…"
"Heh. That'll shut you up. You're such a sensitive wimp, Shikamaru."
"Huh. And you're such a violent bitch."
"Why, thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. And to repay that…"
"Eh…you don't have to repay me for—what the hell are you grinning about? Temari, stop it. I was joking. Tem—OW! WHAT THE HE—"
- o -
With his mind in half-stupor in the morning, Nara Shikamaru could still hear the voices of last night echoing in his head. Raising a sore hand, he covered his eyes from the harsh beams of sunlight sneaking in through the blinds of his window. He softly hissed in pain as his other hand brushed against a sore spot on his collarbone.
Was it seriously worth it? Even during B-ranked missions, he could never get as many injuries as this…
His head turned painfully to the side, the movement inciting varied noises of pain. How the hell was he going to move around the entire day, while his whole body was covered with bruises, scratch marks, and hickeys galore?
He cracked open his eyelids slowly, expecting to see his molester right next to him. Instead, an empty pillow greeted his eyes. Opening his eyes a bit wider, he realized that he was the sole occupant of the bed.
"Tch. Hit and run, huh?" The lone sound of his voice sounded unnatural in the empty room. It was even more unnatural when silence followed his sour remark, rather than being followed by the usual sharp response from Temari.
Hiding his disappointment and a slightly hurt face from no one in particular, Shikamaru sighed and laid a hand on the vacant pillow. He could still feel a little bit of her warmth from it, probably hinting that she had left not so long ago. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he rolled over and buried his face into the pillow.
Lilies.
It was the smell of that damn alluring perfume she always wore. Just a mere hint of it reminded him of her instantly, his head reeling at a dizzy pace as images of Temari flew through his mind. The soft texture of her hair between his fingers, the hot breaths panting against his neck, the low husky tone of her voice, the—
A sudden knock interrupted Shikamaru's train of thoughts.
And the sharp points of her nails, he thought, scowling to himself as his back emitted sharp pain as rose from the bed.
"What the hell do you want?" he rudely demanded as he limped off the bed and started a search for his pants.
"Shikamaru! Wake up, you lazy-ass! Hokage-sama wants to see you!" A loud bark accompanied the yell from the other side of the door, no doubt agreeing to the message given.
A string of curses came from the shadow shinobi and he looked high and low for his pants. It wasn't that he didn't have others. It was just that they were suddenly robbed from his wardrobe by several of his teammates as a prank, a week ago. And the current one, due to the recent actions of last night, had suffered unfixable damages.
"Fuck it," he hissed in frustration. "Kiba! Where the hell did you guys hide those pants of mine?"
"What pants?" came the innocent response from the other side of the door.
"Don't play stupid, I knew it was you guys. Lee confessed when I asked him. Now where the hell are they?"
Silence.
"Kiba! Answer me, damn it!"
"Eh…well, you know we didn't mean it, right? It was kinda like a joke, prank, you know. For laughs."
"Get to the point."
"Alright, alright, keep your pants on, you cranky bastard! Wait, ah, yeah, forget you didn't have any…heh, heh." A loud whine came from behind the door. "What? It was supposed to be funny! How can you say it ain't funny?"
"KIBA!"
"Keep it down! Alright! Remember that large bonfire we had recently, for Halloween? Well, we needed more fuel, since it wasn't big enough, so we threw in everything we could find…and Naruto found your pants in the storage closet while lookin' for gas so…yeah.
The bonfire was a big-ass one though. Very nice, if I may say so myself."
Shikamaru wondered with a dark glare at the door if his Kage jutsu could reach under the door and strangle his tattooed teammate. As his eyes made another sweep in the room, Shikamaru caught the sight of a black pair of pants folded neatly on top of his dresser. Probably it was time to get glasses.
Picking them up, Shikamaru recognized the pants as the one he had on last night. A hastily scrawled note was placed on top of them. He recognized the handwriting at once and quickly scanned at the message:
Ohayo, Shikamaru.
Or should I say, konnichiwa? Since you probably sleep through the entire morning and into the afternoon.
I'm going back to Suna a couple of days early, for urgent business that I just remembered. As an apology for my roughness last night (you know you liked it) I mended your pants, since I know you'll appreciate a rare womanly act on my behalf from time to time.
Don't miss me too much, idiot. I'll be back before you know it, since I know you can't survive without me.
Ja.
--Temari
A smirk grew on Shikamaru's face as finished the letter, with an additional roll of his eyes. Tch. That troublesome woman…
"Oi, Shikamaru! Hurry your ass up! Tsunade-sama's going to be in a hissy fit if you don't get there in time! I'm not gonna suffer along wit you, so hurry it up!"
Fine by me, Shikamaru thought as he quickly crammed the note into one of his pockets and pulled the pants on. After a series of swift movements, he was fully dressed, minus his usual mesh under his Chuunin standard uniform. Too troublesome at the moment.
As he stepped out into the hallway, he could feel Kiba's eyes staring at his back.
"What?" he asked, with a scowl on his face.
Slit-like eyes quickly looked elsewhere, fanged teeth instantly arranged into what Kiba hoped was an innocent smile.
"S'nothin'. Come on, Tsunade-sama's gonna have our heads if we're not there in two minutes." Kiba's grin quickly faded into a frown. "And you reek of cologne, man. It's making my nose sting. Who the fuck uses that much?"
"It's perfume."
"Okay, now that's just wrong. You goin' homo, Shikamaru? Guess a guy like you doesn't deserve such a hot chick from Suna after all. Damn waste, I tell you. You don't know what you're throwin' away."
"It's her perfume! And I'm not 'throwing' away anything."
"Pity. One man's trash is another man's treasure, ya know?"
"Hearing wise words from your mouth is actually making my ears hurt."
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
"Just giving you advice before you hurt yourself."
"Stuff it, asshole, before I hurt you myself."
"You can't possibly do more damage than a single woman can. Trust me, I know."
But in the end, it was worth it. After all, no pains no gains.
"Hey, smartass. Did you know that you've got a huge purple square patch on the butt of your pants? Geeze, man, you suck at sewing. You're worse than my sister."
Or maybe not.