The Beginning The Rise of Forkface
Dumbledore belched in delight in the teachers' lounge as he contemplated his plan which would ome into fruition tomorrow when Harry arrives ready to fall in line with the light. Dumbledore remembered the first time he had tried to contact Harry needless to say it did not go well.
Flashback 8 years ago Privet Drive
A young Harry Potter was walking down the street when he heard a noise in the sewer "Aloha Harry" Dumbledore belched. "You must join the light" Dumbledore said as he attempted to grab Harry by the ankles down to his doom. Harry ran away and the confused headmaster never returned.
Back to present.
Dumbledore belched in anger as he thought of that wrenched day because of this he decided the best way to have Harry come to the light would be to force the boy to marry Ginny Weasley as she was of the light and eventually and Dumbledore's sister in law as he had used his supreme power in the Wizangamot to marry his husband Ronald Weasley. When Harry arrived he would take him to his office and have him sign the contract little did the old man know his occlumency shields were down. Dumbledore had just left his office when there was a crack to his head. McGonagall had punched him in the back of the head how dare she would pay "Avada Kedavra" he belched with a snarl but his wand was blasted out of his hand by Snape. After pushing him out the window he advanced on McGonagall menacingly "Let me tell you something you strict bitch I get more action in a week then you will ever get in a lifetime" he belched thunderously as he bent down to McGonagall and grinned a cat swallowed the canary grin, but she found a fork on the ground from lunch and stabbed it into his eye an pulled his eye out of the socket. "OWWWWWWWARRRRRRRHLLXCCFF",Dumbledore belched in agony as he ran into Snape who hit him with a 2X4 piece of wood knocking him out. "I cant believe what he had planned for Harry" McGonagall said. Snape merely shrugged and took all the Cuban cigars Dumbledore had in his pocket. Dumbledore woke up and found an olive to replace his eye. While he would never see out of that side again the olive looked like his eye after a couple of spells. The spells made it look like his eyes were twinkling though. "Whoops time for the feast show time" Dumbledore belched making his way to the Greathall to welcome the students at his beloved school.