Why am I still doing this?
It was the first thought that passed through Haruhi Fujioka's mind as she made her way to the Third Music Room after her last class of the day.
Why am I still in the host club?
She already had the answer: the broken vase. It wasn't entirely her fault. She knew that. But Haruhi wasn't trying to start a conflict. She was new to the school after all, and the last thing she needed was trouble. After all, Ouran High School students were known for two things: prestigious families and wealth. Since Haruhi had neither of these, she was already considered an outcast, but she at least had some allies through the host club, albeit forced allies. But she still continued to wonder because she knew that she could get out of her predicament easily enough. It wouldn't take much more than a trip to the schools administration to clear things up.
Why am I still doing this?
Besides, the vase wasn't the only reason she didn't quit the club. Her thoughts drifted over the members of the host club. Their quirks. . .their oddities. But she couldn't think of anything but their prejudices and ignorance which could only be accountable to their upbringing.
Regardless, she couldn't help but notice something different about one of the members. Kaoru. Over the course of the last week something had changed. The once boisterous Kaoru had become quiet and reserved. Before, Hikaru and he would regularly tease Haruhi in class, but ever since Haruhi had finally solved their "which one is Hikaru-kun" game, Kaoru simply changed. Haruhi could tell that Hikaru noticed it, too. There were times that he found Kaoru daydreaming during class. The two, who used to be nearly symmetrically in their thoughts and actions, had not been for some time. Every time Hikaru tried to figure out what was wrong, he only got one answer. "I'm thinking. . .just thinking."
Haruhi shrugged off these ideas. Besides, she had only known these people for a couple of weeks. She couldn't really judge them yet. Besides, she finally reached the Third Music Room, and Haruhi knew that she had to have her mind clear and prepared in order to be ready for whatever Tamaki had in store for the club today. She grasped the handle expecting the worst.
As the door slowly swung open, she noticed a figure sitting in a chair looking at the floor, and facing towards the side wall. It only took her a second to realize that it was Kaoru. Not noticing anyone else in the room, she began to approach him, but he didn't move. Puzzled, she moved to face him, but again, he stayed motionless, and his open eyes, unmoving and emotionless.
"Kaoru?" Haruhi said inquisitively.
Kaoru's head shot up quickly as if startled, and as soon as he saw who had summoned him, his face turned bright red and his eyes immediately returned to the floor.
"I asked Kyoya to have everyone wait for a little bit before we started today." Kaoru said, still intently staring at the ground. . .his voice monotone and somber. "I just need to talk to you."
Now Haruhi definitely knew that something was amiss. If Kaoru had any problems he would have taken them to Hikaru.
"Kaoru. . .is everything okay?" Haruhi questioned.
"No." He said, and as he did he abruptly stood up and looked directly into Haruhi's eyes. "I love you Haruhi. I don't know how to tell Hikaru or if I even should. I don't know what to do anymore! All I know is that I want to be with you."
Kaoru's sudden confession and change in demeanor completely took Haruhi by surprise, but his eyes were yearning for an answer.
"Kaoru. . .I" She began before noticing something out of the corner of her eye. Something that wasn't there before. She turned her head to see what it was that had caught her attention, and Kaoru instinctively did the same.
Standing in the doorway, mouth agape, was Hikaru, shock clearly portrayed in his face and voice
"Kaoru. . .no. This can't be. . .you can't be. . ." He said as he stood there dazed at the sight in front of him. Knowing what had just transpired and unable to control his emotions, he dashed out the door. Haruhi's eyes returned to Kaoru, who had tears swelling in his eyes.
"I just don't know what to do anymore!" He said in a hushed whisper as he watched the door his brother had exited. "Damn it, Kyoya! I thought you had everything taken care of!" He looked back at Haruhi, his eyes full of urgency and craving answers. Answers that she couldn't give him.
Without any warning, he turned from her and ran out the door, leaving Haruhi alone in the Third Music Room.
"He still loves Hikaru. He may not know it, but a part of him still does." she said to herself as she sat down. "But what if something happens between them? Then what will happen?"
Kaoru is the reason that I'm still in the host club, after all.