This is not to be taken seriously. At all.
Oh yeah, and saiyuki doesn't belong to me and all that jazz.
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It was unusually quiet in the jeep. Usually, there would be a whole lot of bickering in the back, especially now that idiot of a girl had joined their group and refused to leave, no matter how many times Sanzo threatened her.
Yes, roughly three weeks ago, this crazy female dropped out of nowhere and straight in front of the jeep and was almost run over if it wasn't for Hakkai's questionable driving skills. Out of pity and what little kindness was left in his heart, Sanzo allowed for them to pick her up and take her to the next town. No more than that.
Of course that little air-head just had to wake up after five minutes of driving and start panicking. All her idiotic flailing about had caused Goku a black eye and him a bullet. The bullet had shut her up for a while, but then the questions started.
"I mean, I know my parents are doctors and everything, but we aren't that rich. So why the hell have you kidnapped me?" Unwisely, Sanzo refused to answer. Big mistake.
She was silent for another minute until there was a soft tap on his shoulder. He ignored it. Thirty seconds later, there was another, more persistent tap. Again, Sanzo ignored it. Just after, the girl shoved his shoulder roughly and said very loudly,
"Oi! Blondie! Who the hell are you?"
That did it for Sanzo. He swiftly stood on the seat and pointed the gun at the girls forehead.
"We didn't kidnap you, so shut the hell up!" He punctuated his order with a shot just to the left of her head.
Silence.
Satisfied, Sanzo sat back down and stared at the passing scenery. Time passed, as time does, and the tension between Gojyo and Goku was getting high. It all came out when Hakkai turned a sharp corner and Goku fell onto Gojyo, who then began accidentally crushing the strange girl.
The fight that ensued consisted of name-calling, brawling and finally, a paper fan. After severe paper-fan abuse, quiet once again reigned in the backseat.
"Ah, these drives are so peaceful aren't they Sanzo?" Hakkai asked good-naturedly. Sanzo turned his head minutely to shoot Hakkai a withering glare.
"Shut up and keep driving Hakkai." Hakkai kept smiling and gave a little salute.
"Will do."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Wait a minute! Sanzo!? Hakkai!? You've got to be kidding!" The voice of the only female in the back broke the golden silence.
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3 weeks later.......
As said above, it was unusually quiet that particular day driving in Hakuryuu. Of course, that may have been attributed to the fact that both Gojyo and Goku were asleep and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. Sanzo found the silence so good he was about to fall asleep until an almighty CRACK! shook him out of his half asleep state.
Shaken out of his sleep, his eyes darted around in search of the loud noise. It came from behind. He turned his body to face the back, and all he saw was the girl they had picked up. He surveyed her for a moment, then the rest of the scenery before turning back and settling down.
It's stupid to think she could make such a noise, Sanzo thought to himself. If though about, it could have been considered true. The girl wasn't very tall, but not exactly short either. Her hair was brown, her eyes were brown, and she seemed to have this weird permanent facial expression that reminded him of the deer-in-the-headlights look, but was surprised instead of scared.
When she occasionally let this expression off, usually when she was concentrating very hard, she looked like she was particularly angry at whatever she was staring at. So, all in all, not a very intimidating person, nor one that could produce a loud cracking.
Just as Sanzo was to drift asleep, another CRACK! disturbed him. Once again he turned to see nothing but the Alexis (was that what she said her name was?) girl looking at him with her deer-in-the-headlights/surprised look. Grumbling he turned around and settled down.
This pattern continue for many hours until Sanzo couldn't take it anymore. He needed his sleep dammit, and by Buddha he was going to get some!
Suddenly, a cunning plan popped into his mind.
Once more, Sanzo settled himself down to sleep. But this time, he wasn't going to sleep. Oh no. Sanzo was going to pretend to fall asleep and then turn around when that damnable noise started up. Sanzo squashed the urge to laugh diabolically.
Predictably, the CRACK! came about, but this time Sanzo had whirled around to see the Alexis girl with her mouth halfway shut. He pulled out his gun and pointed to her
"Open your mouth," he said forcefully. She shrugged and did so. The CRACK! was heard form the side of her face, next to her ear.
"What is that noise?" Sanzo hissed at her. She smiled and said,
"My jaw. Duh." The cracking accompanied every word. With a groan of despair Sanzo turned back around in his sleep.
He repeatedly squashed the urge to shoot her.
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There, a small one-shot with shameless self-insertion. The cracking actually used to happen when I opened my mouth, though it only was so loud on occasion. Now, the cracking stopped and I can't open my jaw fully. I got this idea after a physio session.
Please excuse the overall crappiness of this one-shot.