A/N: This is my first HSM fic, and aslo my first SongFic, it's TroyxRyan, and it's a little sad, a little cliché, a little bit of everything, it doesn't end the way most TroyxRyan fics do. It's written to the song "Natural Disaster" by Alexz Johnson. I don't own the song, or Alexz for that matter. Although if I did we'd have non-stop Instant Star seasons. For like...ever. It's 100 Ryan's P.O.V. Lyric's in Bold Italics, flashbacks in italics.

Am I another Casualty?
In the battle you're fighting?
You're your own worse enemy,
At war with yourself, but you can't see.

I sat alone in my room peering out of a rain littered window thinking about the effects of the ever deadly Hurricane Troy. I used to think once you get past a certain point in a relationship there's rarely any turning back, almost as if you're in a safe zone after you conquer a few obstacles.

I used to believe "Fool me once, shame on you, fool my twice, shame on me,". But then Troy happened. And something East High students all eventually learn, anything Troy Bolton does, Troy Bolton does big.

Like when Troy Bolton wants to forget something ever happened, he forgets quickly. When Troy Bolton wants to hide something he'll stop at close to nothing to hide it.

"You're so cute when you're thinking," Troy said leaning back on his elbows next to me.

"Well you're cute when you-"I pause and smile, "You're just a cutie."

He laughs that low laugh that only I could hear the faint whispers of 'Stop talking and kiss me.' in. And like clock work he's attacking my neck.

"Troy," I moan in unison with the moans escaping his mouth.

I feel him smile between kisses trailing from my neck to my lips, "I love you," he whispers kissing me, eyes wide open.

And for just those few minutes I can forgive him for encouraging Chad to trip me in the hall.

And I can't stand to watch,
You're, coming, coming fast,
Everywhere you go it seems that lighting strikes and then you crash,
I don't know how you do it,
It always ends the same,
Everywhere you go it seems lightning strikes but there's no rain, no rain.

This was earlier in our relationship, before he came out. Probably a happier time.

But I'm happy now too, I seriously don't love him. I don't. Dead serious.

And it makes sense, because my heart doesn't still flutter when he smiles at me in the hallway as if nothing's wrong. And I don't still check my inbox for text messages every ten minutes just for frivolous nostalgia. Yep. The same way I absolutely do not find myself crying in Sharpay's arms every night before I go to sleep.

I don't know where I'd be without Sharpay right now. Sure she's peer-proclaimed Ice Queen but even ice has to melt sometimes. She really is the psycho self-centered bitch people think she is, it's just, she's more than that. She's a sister, and more than that she's a friend. The day everything happened she'd been waiting at home with arms wide open, and all my essential comfort food assorted by color. And sugar content. Sharpay, as you could imagine has quite the social gossip network, I think she found out about our breakup before either of us did, okay maybe not.

"Troy," I placed my hand on his shoulder following him in the lunch room.

"Yeah?" He whirled around and smiled at me.

I smiled back and wrapped my arms around his neck to kiss him, just a brush of the lips to greet him, "How's your day been?"

"It's been okay, give or take a few periods." He responded sitting down at the nearest table pulling me down with him.

"That's good," I grabbed his hand, "Want to do something tonight? Movie night with Sharpay and I?"

"I'd love to, but I've got plans," He responded nervously glancing around.

I frowned slightly unsure of what he meant "Who are you looking for?"

"Hm?" his attention turned to me, "Nobody, why?"

I looked to the side and shook me head, "Nothing," I smiled at him.

"Hey listen, I'm sorry I can't hang out with you tonight, maybe tomorrow night?" He said in an apologetic tone grinning at me.

I lifted my eyebrows and nodded before squeezing his hand.

"Great," He smiled before pulling me closer for a quick kiss, "Love you," he said getting up and whisking himself away.

I sighed, "Love you too," I said to nobody.

Feel like you're moving in slow motion,
And you don't know where you're going,
You tried it all and it's too boring,
Tighten up your grip cause it's a long way down.

Troy's a smooth talker. A great liar at best. He could've talked himself out of 9/11 had he been with the right authorities. Maybe I'm over-exaggerating again, but he's pretty handy with working himself around a guys heart. Dating Troy Bolton you get into the habit of trusting anything he repeats more than once.

At the same time, dating Troy Bolton you have to learn not to trust just about everything else, word of advice to future victims I suppose. You never really know how much your heart can break until it's been broken one too many times, and even then you could always take more. You're only as strong as your last heartbreak, so if you know it's coming, make it worthwhile. So you know, learn something.

Like a Troy Bolton, "prior engagement" generally means "other bones to jump".

And I can't stand to watch,
You're, coming, coming fast,
Everywhere you go it seems lighting strikes and then you crash,
I don't know how you do it,
It always ends the same,
Everywhere you go it seems lightning strikes but there's no rain.

I discovered a Troy, Ryan & Sharpay movie night just wasn't the same without the 'Troy' and took a walk.

It's late November, my absolute favorite time of the year, because it's cool outside, perfect for cute jackets, but not quite Winter yet.

But since it's night it might as well be Winter, it can't be more than 45 degrees out tonight, cold enough to make you miss the warm embrace of your special basketball star.

What started out as a tread to Troy's to see if was still up at this hour turned into a stroll through the park. I love walking over the bridge this time of year, the lights that line the lake shine so bright, the tree's clearly show that it's fall but you wouldn't know otherwise, because the lake's not frozen yet.

At first I wondered why there weren't many people out, I mean it's a beautiful night! A beautiful, cold, okay freezing night. Maybe I should just head for Troy's, or home. Troy can wait until tomorrow.

If I didn't have a penis I'd swear I was a woman. I'm so damn nosy. I hear wet noises that could only be described as kissing, and moans coming from near by, the woman in me drove me to take a peek at who it was, I wandered off of the bridge on the other side of the lake and hid behind a tree to get a better glimpse at the figures totally going at it on a park bench.

Poor boy. He's having a horrible hair day, I frowned to myself. I got a better glimpse and the bad hair became awfully familiar, and the moans of the other figure sounded pretty damn familiar. Times like these make me wish I were blind, or didn't pay such close attention to the noises that people make.

It was that moment that I realized the two figures were Chad, best friend of my boyfriend, and well, Troy, my boyfriend.

Being the totally assertive person that I am I gasped quietly and ran back home choking back tears. All the way to the top of the stairs where I broke down in hysterical sobs.

"Ryan?" Sharpay called out from her room, Ashlee Simpson's "Boyfriend" blaring in the background.

I didn't answer, I'd already blocked the outside world from any of my five senses. I felt like I was floating, and crying for nothing. Like there was no Troy, no Chad, no me, no relationship. Just me being emotional in the middle of a vast nothingness.

"Ryan honey, are you okay?" Sharpay asked nervously approaching my shaking body and kneeling down in front of me resting a hand on my shoulder, "What happened?"

The moment her hand touched my shoulder I started to realize I wasn't being deep, original, or inspirational by isolating myself in my mind, because the moment I calm down enough to open my eyes and stop shaking, I'll be right back where I started. I shook my head still crying, "Troy," is all I could manage.

"What about Troy? Is he okay?" Sharpay asked hugging me rubbing my back to soothe me, "Sweetie what happened?"

"Him," I sniffed, "Him a-and Chad," I stuttered, I cried a little harder at the thought.

"Oh," I felt Sharpay frown into my shoulder, "I'm sorry Ryan,"

I could hear Sharpay's routine pep-talk beginning in my head. Not that I wasn't glad to have a sister that was there for me, but how many times could I hear the same heartbreak speech again?

"Let's get you to your room, come on," Sharpay skipped 15 minutes worth of dialogue into Heartbreak Treatment Phase 2, which was get Ryan comfortable in his room and double up on comfort food. By the time I'd passed out and woken up the next morning, the only tears falling from my eyes were the result of image infringing love handles.

Watching you slip away,
It's getting harder everyday,
When you're coming down like a hurricane,
I can't stand to see you in pain,
So I just look away.

Sometimes I find myself pondering what a worse feeling was. Being cheated on, or still seeing Troy with Chad to this day, trying to act cool around one another. Because Chad isn't out yet. And because Troy and I know, that should be me with him.

Alright, fine. I know that Troy's moved on, I just wish he'd have told me he was moving on, in stead of my finding out the way I did.

Seeing Troy & Chad escape to empty bathrooms stabs my heart the same way seeing them make out that night by the bridge. Though my nightly breakdowns are a bit more tamed, they're breakdowns none the less, and they don't come for without reason.

I mean, it's February now, a little over two months since everything went down, but it's fresh in my memory. I loved Troy with all of my heart and more, I'd given him everything I had to offer but the kitchen sink, I guess that wasn't enough for him.

But I bet 'all of me' is probably never enough for anyone, because if they're not giving you 'all of them' there's not enough room for you, that's how I see it anyway.

I have to ask myself, does Chad really care about Troy? I'm sure he does, what with their prior friendship. If they broke up, they've got more to lose than Troy & I had. I wonder if Chad's prepared. What if he doesn't need to be?

What if Chad is to Troy, what he was to me?

Nah, 'course not. Natural disaster's don't have emotions, right? They're just reckless, like primal animals. It's not like Troy's human. A human being couldn't cause that much pain. Not on purpose, anyway.

I can't stand to watch,
You're, coming, coming fast,
Everywhere you go it seems lighting strikes and then you crash,
I don't know how you do it,
It always ends the same,
Everywhere you go it seems lightning strikes but there's no rain, no rain, no rain...

But Troy's more human than anybody could ever understand. What's worse is he's beautiful. Beautiful and kind of twisted, like lightning. I learned so much about him in just our little daily conversations then Gabriella could've learned in their hours of phone conversations. I miss that, but whatever we had is done. Lightning never strikes the same place twice.

And maybe…maybe that's okay.

No, it's definitely okay.

Lightening strikes but there's no rain.

I hope you guys liked it! Please R&R! -Muah- Love you guys. ♥