Title: Trapped
Characters: Kakashi, Iruka (mention of Genma and Raidou)
Genre: angst, fluff
Rating: PG-13
Summary: All shinobi are trapped in their emotions
Iruka sighed. Twelve months tomorrow, he would have been with Kakashi. Kakashi wasn't one for dates or times though. It was doubtful Kakashi would even remember it.
Iruka dropped the top back on his bento and pushed it aside. He suddenly wasn't very hungry. His friends always said he was too sentimental.
Iruka looked up as Raidou poked his head through the door. Sighing, he went back to grading.
Raidou raised an eyebrow and wandered over. "Hey, something the matter?" he pulled a chair up to the table, spinning it around and sitting across it, arms draped over the back.
"Oh, it's nothing I haven't done before." Iruka dodged.
Raidou frowned. "It's Kakashi again isn't it?"
Iruka didn't answer. He didn't have to. Anything he said would be worse than remaining silent.
Raidou sighed. "You're too good for him. You're nice, Iruka. He doesn't deserve someone who will care about him."
"We've had this conversation before." Iruka marked a score out 100 at the top of a paper and picked up the next on the pile.
"He can't feel love anymore. There's nothing left in him. He can pretend really well but… Iruka, please, it's not fair to you." Raidou lay a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "This isn't the first time I've seen you like this in the past year."
"What about the way you follow Genma?" Iruka gave him a pointed stare.
"That's different. Genma can love. He just… He likes to be free." Raidou withdrew his hand.
Iruka rolled his eyes and went back to the paper. 'Free' was often the word Raidou chose to describe Genma. It wasn't really accurate. It was in the sense, Genma hadn't had a real relationship in years, but Genma didn't feel free. He was trapped by his own delusions. Iruka knew it, Genma knew it, and Raidou knew it; everyone knew it.
But it wasn't like Iruka could talk. He was a shinobi and he was trapped by his own delusions, though different from Genma's. All shinobi had issues.
Iruka flipped the paper over. "I'm fine."
Raidou shook his head. "You're hopeless."
"I know." Iruka continued grading.
That night, Iruka made Kakashi's favorite food, dressed up nice for him, and put the good sheets on the bed. He smiled when Kakashi arrived only fifteen minutes late, and set about putting the final touches on the table. Ignoring the roll of Kakashi's eyes, he lit the candle and served the food.
Dinner was pleasant, filled with cheery talk about school, missions, and general gossip about friends and their lives. Iruka watched his plate and Kakashi let the mask hang. They had both become accustomed to the rules about each other's issues. It was second nature.
After dinner, they moved to the couch to watch a movie. Movie led to cuddle, cuddle led to kissing, kissing led to groping, and they had moved to the bedroom by the credits.
The sex was good, for both of them. It always was. They slept after, wrapped in each other's arms, together.
Kakashi woke up early the next day, glanced out the window. Not yet light out. He always left then. He sighed; breath gently ruffling Iruka's hair. He didn't want to leave just yet. Spooned close to his boyfriend's back, he knew last night had been a special date. He hadn't forgotten. He'd thought about it the whole day before. He'd considered a gift or some sign to Iruka that he knew, but gifts weren't his thing, attachment wasn't his thing. Monogamy wasn't his thing for that matter.
Despite that, Kakashi found himself burying his head in the crook of Iruka's shoulder and closing his eyes. What was sleeping in one time? He wanted to thank Iruka for a wonderful year. This might be his only way.