Title: The Ruins As They Were
Author: holmesfreak1412
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Pairing: Ty Lee & Azula
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: T
Summary: Ty Lee is not ready for her love. Azula is not ready to lose her. Seven days into the life of an amnesiac woman and her desperate bride. Can Ty Lee trust the person who is only telling her half the story?
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Avatar franchise
Notes: The concept of the fic is based on S.J. Watson's novel "Before I Go To Sleep". But I only took the concept of the amnesia that Christine endured. The rest are concocted to fit in the ATLA universe.
Warning: This story does not accurately depict amnesia. The way the condition is romanticized and written is only for entertainment purposes.
…
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Comatose
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ONE
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SUNDAY
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Her name is Ty Lee, she somehow remembers. She is a perfectly, capable adult. She ran away years ago. And her heart has been broken many, many times.
She wakes into the feel of a stranger's bed, the unfamiliar scent of the rough blankets digging into her senses. Whitewashed ceilings blare overhead and outside, the birds sing a tune forgotten in her apparent insobriety. Nausea seizes her bearings, turning her legs into jelly. Her body feels heavy, like tiger-lion weighing down on her chest. In reflex, she closes her eyes again, breathes. She realizes that she must have had rough night, one too many drinks. The world spins. She wants to throw up. Beside her, something moves and Ty Lee realizes that she is not alone.
Eyes cracking open. A pool of dark hair, golden eyes and a chiseled, beautiful face. The stranger stares blearily at her, bare shoulders showing from under her sheets. For several seconds, they hold each other's gazes, swimming in between realms of affection and confusion, of smiles and dubious gapes, of alert instinct and groggy regard. Ty Lee asks herself questions but it got lost in the sea of gold-flecked stare. And Ty Lee is transfixed for she saw nothing more beautiful than the goddess she woke up with.
Her own body feels unusual and when she sees that she too is naked under the blankets, it does not take much to know what occurred in the night of alcohol and forgetting. She struggles to remember anything before inebriation—a mother's voice, a stern command of a superior, anything! But she draws a blank and Ty Lee gets nothing but the fleeting memory of the exact golden eyes she is looking at right now, flashing with something unidentifiable in the darkness of the night. She does not remember a pub, does not recall the desire to sleep with a nameless woman (for even in the nebulae of frazzled recollection, she could somehow say that she prefers the soft touch of another female). But she remembers feeling safe, feeling secure and beautiful dark hair and golden eyes and the stunning woman before her and…
Golden eyes close. Perfect red lips mutter a groan. Strong, lithe arms raise and snake around her body. Ty Lee stills, stiffens. Her heart pounds in her throat. The woman moves closer, murmurs in her neck some unintelligible phrases. She holds her breath. Ty Lee waits. The stranger snoozes on.
She is not sure how long it has been but when she is certain that the woman has settled, Ty Lee slowly slinks away. Untangling herself off the embrace proves to be easier than expected, slipping through almost effortlessly. Ty Lee does not remember being so flexible. For the moment, a hint of pride swells inside her. Her limbs ache and she stinks of sex. Ruefully looking back at the dozing woman, she wonders how many rounds they got into before she fainted. Thinking about it hurts Ty Lee's head.
The sudden surge of strength startles Ty Lee and seated on the edge of the bed, she feels the world tilt upside down. She breathes, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. And finally she can sneak to the bathroom, wobbling unsteadily into the slippers she does not notice fits her too well. The door is ajar, light comes gleaming out. For a moment, she stays prone on the toilet seat and attempts to gather herself. Her name is Ty Lee. She slept with a woman whose name escaped her. Worse off, she did not know how to get back home, wherever that is. Where is she? How old is she? The situation is somewhat familiar and she figures that this must have happened before. Picking up strangers, fucking them. She must have been so heartbroken, so torn to resort to such desperation but even that, she does not remember. Her head hurts.
Then the mirror beckons her.
She knows instantly that it is her. The twenty-something woman with disheveled wavy, brown hair that must have been usually bound into a braid. But Ty Lee does not recognize herself, cannot put the name Ty Lee in the woman's weathered, stressed countenance or the button nose or the thin lips. Brown eyes stare. She stares back. She moves her arms. The woman does the same. Ty Lee does not know if she expects herself to be younger, different but horror freezes her nevertheless, the cloud of unknowing consuming her and she wonders what in the world is going on. Who in the world is she.
Her reflection is a stranger.
She wants to scream, wants to throw something. Gripped with something that she cannot identify. Is this fear? Panic? What is going on? Her tremors lead her to see the painting taped on the other side of the suspiciously broken looking-glass. Two people, seated somberly beside each other in what Ty Lee recognizes to be some kind of a wedding ceremony. A woman in braids sits elegantly as the other stood stiff. Ty Lee knows the former to be her, perhaps younger and looking happier. But there is something unreal in her smile, something that does not seem right. She then directs her attention to her companion. Another woman. Top-knot, dark hair, beautiful, sculpted face and tantalizing golden eyes…
A neat calligraphy is under the arrow that points directly to the woman's face. Azula.
She looks at the reproduction of her own full body pose and sees the confirmation of what she knew from the moment she woke up somehow even when everything else eluded her. Ty Lee.
The painting is scratched, creased in several places, as if it has always been there and restored after several attempts of being removed. Azula looks so composed, so regal that painting-Ty Lee awkwardly stands out.
It is there, as if it expected that Ty Lee would not even know her own name.
She steps back, shocked, gripped by the realization. She is married! And to the woman she woke up with! Ring finger. There is a ring! Indescript piece of gold. This is her house, her home! And she does not even know! Who is she? What is going on? Isn't she… didn't she? Who is she?
A sense of foreboding settles in her gut, a lead ball dropping. There is a deathly silence, emptiness. And she finally realizes the gravity of her situation.
….
.
Miss Gold-eyes is awake when Ty Lee shakily and finally emerges from the bathroom. She is seated calmly and dressed in a flimsy, red robe. She holds the piece of canvass on her hand after carefully extracting it from its glue. Gold-eyes raises her eyebrows and Ty Lee tries not to stare too long at the valley in her middle, at the alluring way that the woman holds herself. Crosslegged, her thigh peeks out. A cup of tea is suspended halfway to her red lips, steaming. But she does not drink. Ty Lee resists the urge to ogle, reminds herself that she wants answers more than she wants to ravish such a specimen.
She gives Ty Lee an inquiring look, perfectly-shaped eyebrows cocked. Agni, she is beautiful, Ty Lee thinks while feeling an unusually familiar warmth settling at the peak of her core, prickling in her insides, incinerating her nerves. She does not blame whoever she had been for choosing to do the unconventional and marry this goddess of a woman.
If they really were married, that is.
This must be some sort of a trick. She remembers about tricks some particularly mischievous spirits would decide to inflict upon humans. Maybe she offended one vengeful, powerful soul? Yes, that sounds just right. She conjures a mother she does not remember, faceless and unknown who chastises her of her insubordination. But the image vanishes and Ty Lee's mind is still riddled with more questions than answers.
But there is something in the woman's eyes, her complacent smile that makes Ty Lee instinctively trust her.
She tries not to think that she might be the type who develops crushes easily.
"What is going on?" she voices hoarsely, stepping forward. The woman still haven't spoken, as if waiting for her, waiting… "Who are you?"
"I am your wife." Her voice, the purr of a cat. Could this person be any less perfect than what she exudes already? Ty Lee finds it hard to be hysterical, to scream in panic at this unfamiliar room, at this stranger when this golden-eyed goddess sits with no care. The woman's presence is calming. Her confidence is inspiring. And the way she looks at her like everything is fine makes Ty Lee momentarily delude herself that it is. "My name is Azula. We have been married for a few years now."
"For years?" She breathes. Impossible. This is impossible. Surely she would remember. "How? Why?"
"You had an accident." Azula says, putting the cup of tea back on the nighttable. She takes a step towards her, on the way picking up a white dress. She hands it to the shaking Ty Lee. She pries the painting off her shaking hands. "You have a trouble remembering things. Sometimes, you remember when you were fourteen. Other times, you wake up thinking you were a child. Most times, you don't remember your own name."
Her approach is almost clinical. Ty Lee wonders if she has heard wrong and Azula is in fact, some kind of a doctor, her doctor. But the woman's unspoken question hangs at the end of the sentence. Azula's brows are creased in askance. How much do you remember?
"I remember that my name is Ty Lee." There is a sigh of relief. Azula waits, touches her shoulders. "But nothing else." Ty Lee's voice is louder now, desperate. Her mind spins. Her head hurts. Agni, make it stop! "This accident. When did this happen? What happened?"
Azula's face is torn in between… something. Ty Lee could not tell. It might be compassion. It might be fear. But hers seemed to be the type that froze at any hint of an emotion while Ty Lee probably contorted in between all forms of terror. What is going on? "When you were nineteen. A lot of things have happened. We were childhood friends turned to lovers. You are twenty six now."
Seven years. Impossible. This is impossible.
Azula and she had been childhood friends. She does not even remember. All those play dates. Did they play dolls when they were seven? Who are her parents? Who is she? Does she have siblings? She cannot even remember the people who brought her in this world. She cannot even remember the person she agreed on marrying.
Nothing makes sense. Azula does not make sense. But when she feels her arms wrap around her trembling body, she finds that the smell of this woman is familiar, calming. And she lets her. Ty Lee lets her because she realizes that if she lets herself crumple, she might fall unconscious. Something tells her that she does not want to fall back to sleep. Or all would be lost.
She does not know what to ask. She does not know what to do.
"I love you." Azula whispers, rocking her back and forth. Ty Lee lets herself cry in her shoulder, heaving everything in dry, nerve-wracking sobs.
"I'm scared." She confesses.
"Just trust me." Azula answers. She runs her hands on Ty Lee's tangled hair. This, she thinks, feels familiar. Azula… everything about Azula feels familiar. "I will always look after you."
….
.
Azula shows her around the house after Ty Lee painstakingly braided back her hair. The motions were second nature and it subdued her growing unease over the situation. Azula stood behind her all that time, watching with careful eyes as she admitted that everytime, she herself tried to braid Ty Lee's hair, Ty Lee always unraveled and corrected it her own way. Eventually, Azula just stopped trying.
"I just never do it right and you never seem to forget how to do your braids." There is a amusement in her tone, almost affectionate, almost patronizing. Ty Lee's heart had fluttered against her will.
"Where are we?" Ty Lee asks, trailing behind as Azula went through an office, the kitchen and the drawing room. The house is modest, almost small. But there is something immaculate and homey in the atmosphere. The furniture is not something she would have chosen but she approves. She figures that she always approved of whatever Azula does.
Or perhaps, she never had the capacity to help design their home in the past seven years.
She wonders if Azula gives her a tour around the house every now and then.
You always forget things. How often is always?
"We are in Isobu." Azula responds and Ty Lee's brows crumples in confusion. The woman quickly explains. "It's a Fire Nation province."
Fire Nation, she remembers. One of the four great nations. But Isobu… blank. "I do not even know where I live." She feels utterly miserable.
"Do you want some coffee?" Azula asks, touching her hand. For some reason, it surprises Ty Lee that she even asks. Azula seems to be the type of woman anyone would do anything for. That Ty Lee would do anything for.
The attention flatters her somewhat.
Ty Lee flushes involuntarily. "Sure. With cream and lots of sugar."
Azula's smile. Beautiful, just beautiful. "I know." And it strikes Ty Lee that this is her wife, not just an extraordinarily gorgeous stranger after a hot night of sex. This is her home. This is her kitchen. This is her wife. Pride swells in her chest. Her head hurts. She wants to remember how she has managed to keep this wonderful woman. For years! They have been married for years!
"Were we very much in love?" She asks before she can stop herself because for some reason she does not doubt the answer. She conjures images of pre-amnesiac her, walking around the beach, holding this woman's hand. They were once childhood friends. Maybe that was when everything started. Maybe that was when they fell in love.
Maybe she still remembers that she is supposed to…no, loves Azula
There is a wistful note in her face and Azula smiles thinly. "Very." Ty Lee's heart beat a little faster when she added. "No one loved me as much as you did."
….
.
.
"Do I do this everyday?" She feels scared again, confronted by the same terror that she felt when she first woke. She feels inadequate, invalid. She feels broken in the presence of such a perfect human being who sits before her calmly, pushing a scrapbook to her hands. The thought of Azula excites her, makes her warm all over. She is just perfect. Ty Lee thinks it would be easy to fall in love once more. Maybe, she loved her from the moment she woke up. Does she fall in love with Azula every day over and over again?
"You do remember things. Sometimes, it is no longer necessary." Her wife… wife!... pauses. Almost deliberately. Ty Lee snaps her head from the big, brown album, eyeing the golden orbs. The lips twitch. Smile. Agni. Beautiful. "Yesterday, you remembered as much as our childhood together. You were an acrobat, you know."
Ty Lee opens the first page. A painting. Two children. She recognizes her younger self, dressed in pink. A girl stands beside her, beaming. The same topknot, the promise of beauty in youth. She stares back at the real, fulfilled product before her. Paintings can be forged but the jolt that she feels everytime Azula graces her with a smirk is real. Very real. Ty Lee wonders how long she has loved this woman, whether the fact that she prefers the soft touch of a female has been apparent as day when she played dolls with Azula as children.
She attempts to imagine a memory, anything that would prove that her growing affection to her keeper is more than a silly infatuation but fails.
She closes the book, tries to contain herself. "We look… wealthy." She remarks.
"I was once the Princess." Ty Lee's eyes widen. This, she did not expect. She thinks of castles and palaces, of palanquins and thrones. "Oh, don't look so surprised. I am sure I look like one."
Azula does. Ty Lee is not sure whether she ever saw a Princess before but she was sure that this is how they are supposed to look like. A scene flashes before her eyes. Red and gold cartwheels. Pink follows. Then the scene fades. "You said 'once was'." She questions. The place they live in now is far from a palace, she observed. "What do you mean by that?"
"I was banished, dishonored, stripped off my rightful throne." Her tone is leveled as though those painful facts that Ty Lee winced upon hearing does not bother her anymore. Maybe it does not. It has been so long. Azula approaches the subject dispassionately, going through it like cold statements of facts. "But you followed me and lived with me. We married and have been with each other ever since."
Her tone tilts, rises. Ty Lee thinks it is almost dismissive.
"That's romantic." Ty Lee gushes. Because that sounds like the very thing that she would do. She deduces from the context that she must have been some kind of a noblewoman if she was able to share the same playing ground as the Princess of the land. The Fire Nation. She does not know what that means but the name alone sounds powerful enough. Azula herself looks quite powerful, impressive. "But that is before the accident, isn't it?"
Her tone takes a depressing turn. Azula puts her hands over hers, rubbing circles. "What happened?" Whisper. Bowed head.
The oppressive distance is crossed. Azula takes her into her arms. Ty Lee finds that she does not really mind. She rationalizes that in a world that you remember nothing of, familiarity is solace. Azula is very familiar somehow.
"Bounty hunters came up to us." Azula runs a finger through brown hair, draws circle on the scalp. "They were after me. You had a head injury, almost fatal. But I can't just let go. Maybe I am selfish. I do not know. I am just…"Ty Lee unconsciously moves closer. "I am… was not ready to lose you, Ty Lee."
She catches the slip. "Oh, Azula…" she whispers, breathless. Azula must blame herself a lot.
They stay like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms. She reverently takes in Azula's scent, the smell of lavender and cherry. Ty Lee feels safe, comfortable. She thinks that she could get used to this.
She opens the book, flips another page.
It is her, dressed in an elaborate costume of white and gold. She is suspended upside down on a tightrope, a crown placed over her head. A handstand with just a single finger, grinning confidently as she balanced precariously. The Freakshow, the poster eloquently described her. The sight of the picture makes her ridiculously happy somehow. Glee bubbles in her throat as she trails her fingers over the painting, a crude caricature of herself. There is pink all over it, splashed in random places. She realizes that it must be her favorite color.
"People come to watch you from the farthest places." Azula says beside her, looking over her shoulder. "You were quite a sight. Majestic. I watched you once and I was impressed. The circus was your all-time love. You ran away for it. I think you said it was your… uh… 'calling'."
"Where my aura soars pink!"
Azula is obviously startled. "What?"
"Nothing." Ty Lee feels her face redden, embarrassed. She mentally kicks herself. Such a stupid, childish thing to say."It just sounds like something I would say."
For a moment, worry crosses Azula's cherubic features before schooling itself to her default look of pleasantness. "Ah.. yes. Yes." She trails off again, joining Ty Lee's hands over the poster. Ty Lee likes how she feels against her, breasts pressing on her back, legs on hers. "You love it there. But I took it away from you."
She almost sounds regretful and Ty Lee is floored by the desire to console the ex-princess, to kiss the guilt away. It is not her fault. It is not her fault. You took care of me for so long. "What happened?" she asks instead, not for the first time.
"I asked you to join me in a mission and you were forced to leave." Azula nuzzles closer, burying her nose on her neck. Ty Lee realizes that she does not mind this at all. No, not at all. It is scary? Is Azula a stranger? Ty Lee does not think so. Azula seems to be the only thing that she knows she wants right now. "You were sad and withdrawn for several days."
"But I joined you so that must be what I wanted. I am struck that I might be the type to do what I want. Do you think so too?"
Azula tilts her head sideways and Ty Lee misses the warmth of being so close to her but Azula pulls her in, adjusting their positions so that she sat more comfortably on her lap. She initiates a chaste kiss. "Yes. You always do what you want." She places her lips over Ty Lee's. They are soft. "How does this feel?" Again.
Warm. "Like kissing a desert."
Eloquent. Ugh. She must not be very good with words. Ty Lee kicks herself again.
Azula's eyes are wide, slightly offended. "Really?" She pouts.
Azula is so cute Ty Lee wishes she could crush her.
"it's warm." The rest of Azula is warm too. She must be sweating bullets. "Very warm. But it is kind of cold so…" She is the one who leans closer.
Kiss. "One more."
Kiss. "Another one."
Kiss. Ty Lee moans. "Again."
Kiss. Azula breaks away just as Ty Lee is ready. The acrobat pulls her back down. "Again."
Kiss. This one last longer, moving against each other in perfectly exercised rhythm and Ty Lee has no more doubt that they have done this before. The motions are another familiar thing. She rakes her hands on dark hair. Azula's arms are draped protectively around her middle. Kiss. Ty Lee pants. Azula takes her.
And they sink into each other.
This one… this one…
This feels right.
….
.
.
Lunch is not a very uh… delicious affair. Azula admits that even in seven years of taking care of an amnesiac wife, she never figured out the secrets of the kitchen. The steak is half burnt, the sauce overstirred. Azula said she has no doubt that she followed the instructions to the letter. Fire is just very hard to control.
The way she phrased her words makes Ty Lee giggle. Azula, in all her apparent perfection is every bit of an awkward conversationalist but she flows through her wife's ignorance with ease, telling her things in a way that she would know what she is talking about. Ty Lee reminds herself that Azula has probably done this several times before. It is a familiar dance. It makes Ty Lee sad. And she remembers that she probably would forget again. 'Honestly, I have no idea why you stayed with me." Azula says charmingly as she pushes the plate of overcooked meat away. Her petulance is endearing. "But then again, you love me."
She is quite the conceited one. Ty Lee absolutely loves it. "You are amazing." She purrs, biting her lips as she recalls their little activity on the couch. The sex is mindblowing. Touches burned. Kisses left a trail of fire. The musty scent lingers. No wonder she felt sore all over that morning. Azula is simply, indescribably…
"I know." A kiss. Ty Lee melts. Golden eyes stare her down as they reluctantly broke away. Azula seem happy, a glow out of place in her otherwise exhausted face. Ty Lee wonders if this means this is one of her better days. "What do you want to do today?"
"I do not know." She says softly, gazing at her wife's pretty face. She is so beautiful. She runs her hand on her cheek. She really is in no mood for going outside. She is not even sure if Azula wants to. She is probably just being polite. "What do I usually do?"
"You haven't been on this mood for quite a while." Azula says. There is a mischievous glint in her eyes that effectively incites adrenaline in Ty Lee's veins. She tries not to think of what her words mean. About Ty Lee's moods. Sometimes she remembers some things. She wonders how she is when she remembers those. She wonders how Azula is as well. "Care for round two?"
Their lips meet, they fall into each other. And for as long as she can remember, which is not much, Ty Lee feels the most content.
….
.
"We had sex last night." She does not remember, had no idea whether it was as electrifying as this experience. Ty Lee got herself reacquainted with the bed through Azula's kisses and ministrations. When she unraveled, she sank under the cushions. Azula sank with her, moving beside her with her hands wrapped around her sweat-drenched frame. She thinks she could get used to this. She thinks she could love her wife.
"You were in a mood for a drink." Azula answers. Ty Lee senses discomfort before it is… gone, replaced by the tired sigh of a spent lover. Ty Lee's moods. Azula treads into the topic like she dances atop shards of broken glass. She wonders how bad she is at her worst. Azula had implied that this is her best. The thought dampens her. "I bought the best wine at the pub. We got wasted, you asked questions, I answered and one thing led to another."
"How much did I remember?" From the clues she has compiled so far, she pretty much has good idea how her amnesia works. Everytime she goes to sleep she forgets. She can't remember old memories. She can't make new ones. It is a most distressing thought that she would forget about Azula everytime she goes to bed. She cannot imagine the disconcert that Azula feels everytime she reintroduces herself all over again to her wife or what remains of her for the day.
My name is Azula.
Every single time.
"You thought you were fifteen yesterday." This confirms Ty Lee's thoughts. Azula's eyes are distant, affixed into a thousand-yard stare. "You see, we were… on a sort of cool off when we were fifteen. We were… away from each other. For a long time. Long story short, I was away by force. You went away. I guess I kind of resented you too. And you thought I still do.'
Disbelief courses through Ty Lee and she bolts upwards. "What? How?"
"We got into a bit of a fight." Azula gently pulls her down, massaging her shoulders. Ty Lee calms down. The clinical approach again. Ty Lee wonders how many times she asked this question every week. How many times Azula tried to evade it, the pain. "We broke up and haven't seen each other for a while. You insisted that you no longer love me—"
"That's impossible!"
A thin smile. "I know, I know. So you asked that we talk things through drinks. We just happened again, I guess. For a day. I think this is the reason why you remember a few things about our romance today."
Today. Not now. Azula has already prepared herself. She knows it would not last.
Ty Lee presses her lips against hers. "I am sorry." Her face is damp with tears. She feels horrible. How could she do this everyday to Azula? How could…? Who will she be tomorrow? "It must be very hard for you. I am so sorry."
"There are worse times. Sometimes, you outright reject me."
"What?" This scenario angers Ty Lee.
Azula smirks. To herself. To Ty Lee. The amnesiac cannot tell. "Sometimes, you insist that I am some kind of an evil monster who abducted you."
Oh.
Plop.
That possibility completely escaped Ty Lee.
Azula snorts, chuckles. "Of course you don't believe that, don't you?"
No… she decides, pulling Azula closer. This nice woman could not possibly have done that. No, definitely not a monster. She has sacrificed everything and bore through years of waking up with a wife who thought she was a stranger. No, Ty Lee is certain that she loves Azula, loves her enough that this seems to be the only thing that she can remember now. Maybe she can carry it through the next day. Maybe she will wake up knowing that this, this is her wife.
"I love you." She says earnestly. Azula brightens. This makes Ty Lee happy.
"Let's go watch the stars." She beckons and she pulls her wife up.
….
.
The bathroom candlelights set the mood for a romantic tryst. Ty Lee rubs soap on Azula's back and her wife croons in pleasure. She takes the chance to ask questions. "When we were kids, do we have anyone else besides each other?"
Azula seems to weigh it, brain whirring for the right thing to say before responding. "We have Mai."
Curiosity gets the better of Ty Lee and she eagerly asks more. "Who is she? Are we like, uh, a terrible trio? Where is she now?"
There is a look in Azula's face that makes Ty Lee regret her excitement. In her defense though, she just wants to know. Were they as isolated as they seem to be? In the full day they spent together, Azula just stayed with her in bed. She must have some kind of a job or other people to talk too. There must be some other human interaction that Azula bask in everyday if she has to deal with a blubbering, forgetful wife every time she wakes up.
Especially in her bad moods.
Or those times, Ty Lee shivers. Those times that she thought she is a child.
She would have gone crazy otherwise.
"Do you remember when I said I got banished?" Azula's voice is quiet, as if she is telling her a secret. Ty Lee holds her breath. The clinical approach is foregone. This seems to hit Azula more. "My older brother sits as king now. We call him Fire Lord. Mai is his wife."
"Why are we not living in the palace?"
"No one wants me there." Azula pauses, eyes distant, "The world thinks I did bad things. You know, winners write history and all that."
Oh. Ty Lee does not think she is very intelligent but she is probably old enough today to understand. "So we are like…" Ty Lee is horrified of the severe implications. "…fugitives?"
"You chose to join me." Azula explains, putting some coconut gel on her hair. She almost sounds defensive.
"Of course." Ty Lee realizes that she must be the type to follow Azula to the ends of the world.
There is silence between them for a moment. Ty Lee glances at the mirror for a moment and she sees the bruise on her head for the first time. Purple slight discoloration on her forehead. She gingerly touches it,
Azula reads her mind. "You fell down the bed last time. Three days ago."
"What was I like?" Ty Lee does not want to elaborate.
But Azula understood. "You thought you were seven."
Ty Lee winces. And she feels the whole world crash on her shoulders.
"Look…" Azula wraps her arms around her, pulling the acrobat closer. She trails kisses on her face, licks the tears off. "Just trust me okay. I will take care of you. It's okay. It's okay."
But Ty Lee thinks this is inconsolable. She buries her face on her hands, heaving breath after breath of pure panic. This is not happening. This is not happening. 'But if I go to sleep tonight…"
I will forget you.
Again.
I will forget that I love you.
"I do not want to forget you!" she sobs, holding into Azula's beautiful face into her hands. She wonders that if she stares at each contour long enough whether she would remember every detail. "I don't."
Kiss. Again and again.
There is a tragic smile in Azula's face. And as their lips meet, she whispers. "I am always ready to remind you."
Unlike Ty Lee, she does not cry. Maybe because she already ran out tears.
….
.
.
Ty Lee hopes she would dream of Azula tonight and so perhaps she will carry the memory of golden eyes and intoxicating kisses the next day, would not wonder why they are naked, would not make it necessary for her wife to introduce herself again.
But she sees her day dissolve right before her eyes and there is darkness.
(TBC)
…
I wish I can explain why Azula is terribly out of character without spoiling it. But I promise that this is founded through a factor that makes sense for me. Let us just say Azula is still good an actress and as manipulative as ever. Ty Lee remembers her lust for Azula mostly because she fell asleep having sex with her and as Azula has hinted, this is one of her "better days", so she decided to take advantage of it. There are six days more of this coming. Azula will be who Ty Lee remains to be for the day.
TyZula has a repertoire of great amnesia fics. In Another Life and The Book of Lost Things are honorable mentions. Even my own, Phobia would have gone to that direction if I have decided to expand it. By saying that, I admit that those inspired me to write this. This is originally a long oneshot but I went for a seven-chapter novella. The next chapters are still under massive construction (so I won't get my hopes up). I am not even certain if anyone would like this.
.