A/N: Cheesy title, I know, but I had a dream about this short-lived cartoon series, which is odd because I haven't seen Dave the Barbarian in like 10 years or so. Who else wanted Dave's parents to come home already? Anyway, I know this story idea seems cliche, but I tried my best. Read & Review, I'll leave it as a one-shot for now, depending on whether I feel motivated enough or not. I own nothing, everything belongs to Disney, and whoever created this series. Let the 'show' begin! I hope everyone is in character enough for you all.
It's another average day in Udrogoth castle while the peasants are going about their lives and the royal children are inside, awaiting another adventure.
"Uncle Oswidge, I'm bored!" Fang, the youngest, cried. "I wanna beat someone up right now!"
"I know, Fang, but that's not very nice." Oswidge scolded.
"Sorry, Uncle Oswidge..."
"Uncle Oswidge, do you know when Mom and Dad are supposed to be coming home?" Dave asked.
"Ah, don't worry, kiddo, I'm sure your parents will be home very soon." Oswidge smiled at the children he was looking after.
"That's what you said the day after they left," Candy pointed out. "And the next day... And the next day... And the week after that... And the next week... And the next month, and-"
"They're NEVER coming back!" Fang whined.
"Kids, your parents promised me they would come back, and they're coming back!" Oswidge told them.
"If they were coming back anytime soon, they would be already home by now!" Fang growled.
"Yeah, Fang's right, we kept hoping everyday they would be home, but they still haven't come back!" Candy sounded whinier than usual, missing her parents dearly.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were gone a year." Dave added.
"Quiet down, you three, this is what growing up is all about, you have to deal with your parents being gone a long time and with what they all been through, they're probably dead and buried now." Lula said, annoyed with their whining.
The kids didn't take that kindly. Dave threw Lula down and then he went with his sisters to go in their rooms.
"That was a little too much." Oswidge told the enchanted sword.
"Hey, I haven't seen my parents in 100 years, it's no big deal." Lula pointed out, rolling her eyes.
The kids were crying together instead of their rooms and had met inside the castle den.
"Y-You guys think that Mom and Dad probably are dead and buried right now?" Fang asked, sniffling.
"Probably are, they've been gone a very long time, it's not like them to leave without saying anything!" Dave wiped his eyes.
Faffy burped up a lightning bolt as he cried. He then took out a crude drawing of the kids' parents adopting him from the Ye Olde Pet Shoppe.
"You miss Mom and Dad too, huh Faffy?" Dave asked, holding his dragon.
Faffy nodded and muttered gibberish.
"Hey, I remember that day..." Dave took the picture as his sisters came to his sides to look.
"Oh, yeah..." Candy agreed with a smile.
"That felt so long ago." Fang added.
"It was a long time ago," Dave replied. "I think that was my 10th birthday."
10 Years Ago
It was Dave's birthday and their parents were still home. Candy was jealous that she wasn't the center of attention, she had a little sister who had everyone's attention, but today was also Dave's special day. Young Dave was at the center of the table while his parents came with mountains of presents for him while Candy sat glum and Fang was in Glimia's arms as Dave opened the presents from his mother.
"Wow, an apron for when I bake, thanks Mom!" Dave beamed.
"You're welcome, sweetie." Glimia smiled.
"You got your son a baker's apron?" Oswidge asked his sister.
"He wanted it, I got it, I'll always approve of my son no matter what." Glimia smiled at him.
"David, do you know what you wanna be when you grow up?" Throtkar asked, giving another present.
Dave took it, shaking it by his ear. "I heard about something called a barbarian. I wanna be that!"
"Wow, my son, a barbarian!" Throtkar praised.
"Dave, do you know what a barbarian is?" Glimia asked.
"Of course, I do! At least, I think I do." Dave replied, opening another present from his uncle to see Lula for the first time. "Owch, this looks dangerous and pointy!"
"Finally, I've been in there for a full year for some brat's birthday!" Lula wheezed.
"Bajabbers! Talking sword!" Dave cried, dropping it on the table.
"It's not just any sword, Dave, it's an enchanted sword, she will guide you on any adventures you will have." Glimia explained, getting a firmer grip on Fang, who was reaching for a crawling insect on the wall. "No, Fang, you can't eat the bug!"
"Must smash! Smash it good!" Young Fang cried, trying to reach for the bug out of her mother's arms.
Candy growled, folding her arms.
"Candy, stop that, it's not your birthday, for your birthday, we'll do whatever you want." Throtkar scolded.
"Sorry, Dad." Candy sighed.
"These are all lovely presents, Mom, Dad, and Uncle Oswidge, but I feel something missing, like a pet." Dave said, putting his presents in a neat pile.
"A pet?" both parents asked.
"Yes, please, maybe like a puppy or a hairless kitty, or maybe even a fluffy, fat, plump gerbil!" Dave chirped.
Glimia and Throtkar smiled, then went to the store to buy Dave a pet.
"You nice folks lookin' for somethin'?" Mrs. Bogmelon asked.
"Yes." Throtkar nodded.
"We were looking for a-" Glimia was about to explain, but the witch lady grabbed her arm.
"We got that!" Mrs. Bogmelon said, dragging them to some animals. She then took out a rabid wolverine in a cage. "How about this, cute little fella?"
"Doesn't that thing have rabies?" Throtkar flinched slightly.
"Uhh... Maybe that's just shaving cream!" Mrs. Bogmelon insisted.
"How about something else?" Glimia asked.
Mrs. Bogmelon dashed away, and came back with a rock in a cage. "How about this little gal? I think she's about to have babies!"
"That's a rock." Throtkar deadpanned.
Mrs. Bogmelon looked down, nervously, then went to get another random animal.
"Hey, look at this one, honey." Glimia pointed to a bunch of baby dragons getting milk from their mother. They noticed a solo baby dragon, looking lonely and looking like the smallest dragon in the bunch. "Aww... He looks lonesome..."
"Yes, just like our son..." Throtkar nodded. He then turned to the witch saleswoman. "Miss, how much for this puny, pathetic, dragon in the window?"
Mrs. Bogmelon dashed over. "You want that scrawny thing? Okay then, 10 dreckels!"
"Can you break a 50?" Throtkar asked, taking out more money from his fur-made wallet.
"Nope!" Mrs. Bogmelon snatched it, took the baby dragon out to the couple, then went to count her money.
"Well, at least Dave and the baby dragon will be happy," Glimia smiled. "Does he have a name?"
"Uhh... Yeah! His name's uhh... umm... Faffy!" Mrs. Bogmelon made up. "Would you all like a picture with your new animal?"
Throtkar and Glimia eyed each other, then looked back agreeing.
"Okay, smile!" Mrs. Bogmelon called, crudely drawing a picture for them of them getting their new pet from the shop.
Back home.
"Wow, my own dragon! Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Dad!" Dave beamed, holding his new pet on a leash.
"His name is Faffy." Throtkar told his son.
"Faffy the dragon! That suits him! Thanks, you guys, this is the best birthday ever!" Dave beamed, ready to play with his new pet.
Faffy hiccuped a lightning bolt, suddenly.
"Bajabbers!" Glimia cried, worried about Dave with a lightning breathing dragon.
Dave didn't seem to mind though. This was the best birthday ever indeed.
Present Day
"Yeah... That was a great birthday... I really miss Mom and Dad crazy right now..." Dave sighed, putting the drawing down.
"Me too..." Candy agreed.
"Me four..." Fang added.
The others glanced at her.
"What? I can't count past two!" Fang sounded defensive.
"I sure hope they come back home... Dead or alive..." Candy looked out the window, staring at the moon."
Away from the castle, there was a couple coming their way into the castle way. However, there was an evil plot being cooked up by the Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy.
"So, Dave the Barbarian's parents, the King and Queen, are coming back, huh?" Chuckles schemed, watching all of this from his magic mirror. "Well, what if I out-ruled the King and became the new King of Udrogoth!? Dave and his miserable family will have to serve ME!"
"That's the dumbest, most sick-twisted cliché I have ever heard!" the mirror snapped at him.
"You got a better idea, genius?" Chuckles glared at him.
"No, it's just so cliché!"
"Well, this is a fan fiction story..."
"That's no excuse!"
"Fine, I'll have the King and Queen executed!"
"This is a family fan fiction story..."
"Fine, I'll do my original plan and plot to overthrow the king and queen once they're settled!" Chuckles finally decided. "I don't care if it's cliché or not, I'm doing it!"
"Whatever, man," if the magic mirror had eyes to roll, he would do it right now. "Why don't you do it now?"
"Well, it's the end of the first chapter, we'll see if we get any reviews to inspire the writer to write more chapters."
"Man, that is so pathetic."
"Don't hurt her feelings! She'll delete the story!"
"I don't care, I'm out!" the magic mirror died down, leaving the silly piggy alone.
Chuckles looked around himself, now wondering what to do as the first chapter of the story was over. "Would you do the closing author's note already?"
A/N: I hope that chapter went okay, I was inspired by a dream I had last night. Read & Review if you want to or can.