I got this idea and I thought it would be pretty damn unique cause I've yet to encounter a One Piece x Naruto crossover like this. The result of the poll for whether I should write a One Piece x Naruto ended as 6 - yes and 3 - no. So I wrote one. I hope you like it.

Summary: Commodore Smoker is the untimely victim of a pirate captain claiming the ability to travel dimensions. When he wakes up, he must adjust to a strange and unfamiliar world inhabited by odd people known as ninjas.

Notes: Takes place after the Alabasta arc and a little before the start of the Naruto Shippuuden arc.

Warning: There is some bad language in here.

An Unfortunate Commodore

Ch. 1: Land of the Unknown

Commodore Smoker was not the type of man who blindly followed orders like a brainwashed idiot. If there was a personal sense of justice to be upheld, he would do it, even if it meant completely blowing off his superiors and itching to shove their ignorant orders up their wrinkly old asses. Nobles of the world be damned, the younger generations were certainly taking over. That was truly how Commodore Smoker felt, and that was what he attempted to teach his most loyal subordinate, Tashigi.

Now, Commodore Smoker was most certainly not having the best day at the moment. It all began with a group of idiotic misfit pirates with a turgid, air-headed, idiotic leader named Jigoku. He was the leader of the Space-craft pirates, whose pirate ship certainly looked more like an alien UFO than a regular pirate ship. Jigoku strutted up to Commodore Smoker as the marine commander was crossing the street and boldly challenged him to a battle. He stupidly announced that he had the advantage because he'd eaten the Uchuu-Uchuu no Mi, and thus could leap through dimensions or send people flying into a different dimension. Commodore Smoker was extremely doubtful though. Pirates always boasted in large quantities and never ended up performing up to standard expectations.

Commodore Smoker was not an idiot. He was wary of users of the Akuma no Mi, because they had special powers. Straw-hat Luffy was a rubber man. Fire-Fist Ace was a flame man. He himself was a smoke man, having eaten the Moku-Moku no Mi. And Crocodile had been a sand man. As it goes, everyone has a weakness. For users of the Akuma no Mi, salt water was the biggest one. For their powers, there were advantages and disadvantages. Logia-type fruit users were generally the most annoying in battle, because they were made of something. Smoker was made of smoke. That proved him to be very difficult to hit in battle, as well as enabling to capture enemies easily without getting a single scratch. Logia Akuma no Mi were very useful indeed . . . when the users were on your side of course. Damn that Ace for being Straw-hat Luffy's brother. He would've caught the young rookie on that day if it wasn't for him. Damn him. And damn this pompous charlatan in front of him for being an incredible nuisance. Damn them both to hell.

Jigoku, annoyed when Commodore Smoker just gave him a bland look of disinterest, decided to do a demonstration. "Uchuu-Uchuu no Uzu!" he shouted, slamming his palm forward and slapping it against the side of a decent-sized building.

Smoker's interest (and level of wariness) increased when the entire building vanished from sight in an instant. The pirate captain was grinning like a cat that caught the canary. Elsewhere, people screamed like little girls when a building fell from the sky and crushed a rice field as well as flattening a few good-hearted farmers. Let us give a moment of silence for those poor farmers . . .

Commodore Smoker began to emit smoke from his arms and his torso. "You're a nuisance, you pirate greenhorn," he growled in a fractious voice. "You wanted this fight, so shut up and don't whine to me when I arrest you."

Jigoku and his crew just smirked. Tashigi, who had finally reached the street, stood awkwardly to the side. She did not know what was going on, but she knew that those pirates had provoked her commander. Today, Commodore Smoker had already been in a sour mood. The pirates had probably pissed him off more. Though for some reason she was on tenterhooks today, as if something bad was about to happen.

"Waito Baasuto!"

Thick congregations of smoke poured out of Smoker's hands and surrounded the Space-craft pirates in an instant. Jigoku dodged to the side, but the rest of his crew were easily captured by Smoker's smoke. Tashigi produced a kairouseki Marine net, which Smoker tossed the criminals into. He was not about to take any chances with these idiotic pillagers. He was relentless against pirates and that would not change (those two times with Straw-hat Luffy were exceptions).

"Y-you got my men!" Jigoku stammered, his eyes wide at how easily the Marine Commodore had taken down his comrades.

"They were weaklings, and you are wasting my time," Commodore Smoker spat, readying his fist again. "Waito Suneeku!"

The fluffy white and gray smoke surrounded the panicking pirate captain and brought him over to the kairouseki net. Then his face twisted evilly.

"Uchuu-Uchuu no Terepouto!"

The pirate captain teleported behind Commodore Smoker and slammed his palm forward, shouting, "Uchuu-Uchuu no Uzu!"

Smoker ducked, his smoke instantly vanishing and letting him regain the use of his hands. He grabbed hold of the jutte on his back and swung it at the pirate viciously, pinning the surprised captain to the ground.

"Gotcha," he said, biting down on the two thick cigars in his mouth. "Tashigi, bring the net over here."

"Hai, Smoker-junshou!" Tashigi saluted, dragging the large net over to her commanding officer.

However, the scheming pirate captain was prepared. The moment Smoker lifted the jutte off his chest and slung it across his back, the pirate made his move. Before Tashigi could secure him in the net, he shot to his feet and slammed his palm into Smoker's chest. Smoker, who was accustomed to pirates with abilities from eating the Akuma no Mi being unable to move after he removed the jutte, was not fully prepared for Jigoku's attack.

"Uchuu-Uchuu no Uzu!"

With nary a sound, the Marine commander disappeared without a trace. The pirate captain grinned and began to laugh about how the monstrous Commodore Smoker was no more. Tashigi caught him quicker than a grasshopper could hop and secured the net. She scanned over the area again, her inner fears quickly escalating. Commodore Smoker was nowhere to be found. Oh dear. That was a major problem. Tashigi steeled herself. In this case she would have to act as the commander for now.

"Get these pirates on the ship," she said to the Marine soldiers on stand-by. "Don't let them escape."

"Hai!" the soldiers saluted. "Let's go, men!"

Tashigi pulled a Den-Den Mushi from her jacket and phoned the Navy HQ. When a voice responded over the phone, she said as calmly as she could, "Please inform the higher-ups that we have a major problem. A wayward pirate captain has attacked Smoker-junshou. We have captured the criminal, but Smoker-junshou has disappeared due to the pirate captain's Devil Fruit ability."

There was a moment of silence before she received a response: ". . . That is problematic. Bring the pirate captain in for interrogation and throw his crew into jail."

"Understood." Tashigi hung up.

Please be safe, Smoker-junshou.

Commodore Smoker was not a happy man at the moment. His head hurt. Fucking pirate. He was as good as dead when Smoker figured a way to get back from . . . wherever he was now.

When he woke up, he was greeted by an unfamiliar chill. His dark-grey eyes scanned his meager surroundings, which was basically a jail cell. He was tied up with his hands behind his back, but he didn't feel weak. The jail cell was apparently not reinforced with kairouseki. Although since he was a Commodore, there was no reason for him to be tied up like a prisoner at all. So who the hell did this? Either that pirate bastard wasn't lying when he said he could transport people across dimensions or . . . well, there really was no other explanation for this, was there? If they tied him up with a simple rope, they must not know who he was or have any knowledge about the Akuma no Mi (which, clearly his captors didn't, because of the lack of sea-stone).

He turned to smoke and easily got out of the rope bindings. He passed through the cell bars as well. Regaining his solid form, Smoker made his way out of the prison. He cursed when he realized his jutte had been taken away from him, but knew that it was a general rule of thumb to take all weapons away from the captive. Well, he'd just have to get it back. Whoever these idiots were, they were certain to be no match for him with his Logia fruit powers.

Smoker soon happened upon a pair of odd-looking guards. They were clad in puffy green jackets with pockets. They were wearing dark, long-sleeved shirts with a bright-red spiral embroidered on the sides of each arm below the shoulder. They wore dark pants with some type of weapon holder strapped to their right thigh as well as a round pouch attached securely to their left hip. One of the guards was carrying a sword across his back.

As he rounded the corner, the second guard, a man with black hair pulled into a spiked ponytail at the back of his head, spotted him. "How did you get out of that cell?" he asked.

Smoker blinked at him. From the low tone of voice, and the guard's young facial features, he deduced that the guard was no older than perhaps sixteen or seventeen. "I don't owe you any answers," he replied gruffly. "Now give me back my jutte and I'll be on my way to the nearest Marine base."

The first guard guffawed loudly. "He thinks we're just gonna let 'im go," he said, drawing the sword from his back. "Time to recapture him, eh, Shikamaru?"

"Put your weapon down," the second guard, whose name was apparently Shikamaru, ordered. "No hostilities unless it really comes down to it. We're supposed to interrogate him, not kill him."

The first guard snorted, "You're too soft, Shikamaru. I'd already have him on his knees!"

"You are quiet mistaken about that, fool," Smoker said quietly, eying the first guard with a look akin to bland disinterest. "I've met many of your kind before."

The first guard snarled, "Keep your tongue to yourself, old man! I don't know how the hell you got out of your cell, but you don't mess with us shinobi, you got that?"

"How troublesome," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. "Stand down, Akira. There is no need to give him any more information than is necessary."

Akira crossed his arms. "Hmph! The asshole started it," he grumbled.

"And you finished it," Shikamaru retorted. He turned to Smoker, who was still standing there with a calm, but bored look on his face. "We'll take you to see the Hokage, but if you try anything funny, we'll be forced to use practical measures."

In truth, Smoker had no intention of fleeing. The first guard had given him all the information he'd needed to know that the pirate bastard that had sent him here hadn't been lying for shit. For now he'd just have to learn to cope with the world he was in now until he could find a way back. The second guard had given him a choice to see the "Hokage", but unfortunately Smoker had no idea who or what a "Hokage" was. Time to get some info.

"Who is the Hokage?" he asked.

The first guard's eyes widened comically and he spluttered incredulously, "What – how – you – huh?"

Shikamaru stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "You don't know who the Hokage is," he stated. "Does the name Konoha mean anything to you?"

"I don't know what you're playing at, but those terms mean nothing to me," Smoker said impatiently. "Move."

"The Hokage is the leader of this village," Akira said. "How do you not know that, dude?"

Shikamaru eyed him for a moment longer. Smoker's prodigious ire was growing each second that ticked by. He was in an unfamiliar place, without his subordinates, without his trusty weapon, and surrounded by strange people with weird clothes and unfamiliar terms.

"Come with me," Shikamaru said briskly, moving towards the end of the jail corridor where the stairs leading out were situated. "Akira, you stay here."

"Tch," Akira grumbled. "Whatever."

Smoker followed Shikamaru out of the underground prison. He was greeted by warm sunlight bathing his face and the sight of a busy, bustling street. The odd things about his surroundings were mostly the buildings. Odd-shaped, with circular or square-ish rooftops, and plenty of wires and clothes lines strung between the eaves. There were also many, many people wearing the same headband on their person as the two guards he'd met. Most of the time, the cloth was blue, but there were also a few red ones mixed into the crowd. There was a metal plate attached to the piece of cloth, which glinted and gleamed proudly in the light. The symbol carved in the center of the metal plate looked similar to a leaf. It was a spiral with a stray line jutting out to the right, with a curved triangular shape at the bottom left of the spiral. What kind of odd people wore that kind of symbol? That Akira person mentioned shinobi. Were they similar to Marines, who wore the kanji for "justice" on their backs and had the seagull symbol painted on their sails?

The teenager in front of him led him through the busy streets and towards a tall, salient, circular building with a flat red roof. The symbol for "fire" was shown as a giant black kanji in the middle of a circle attached to the roof. They went into the building and up a long flight of stairs, eventually ending up in a red-colored circular hallway with multiple doors. Shikamaru stepped forward and knocked on one of the doors.

Smoker heard a female voice say from inside the room, "Enter."

They entered the circular office. Smoker observed a good chunk of the village from the large glass windows that curved at the back of the office behind the desk. A woman with long blonde hair sat at the desk, a mountain of paperwork seated in separate piles on the desk. Smoker was surprised when he saw her. This woman, who had a relatively young countenance, possessed the hugest pair of breasts he'd ever seen in his entire life. The mysteries of the world indeed.

"Shikamaru," the woman said. "Is this the man Izumo and Kotetsu found the other day?"

"Correct, Hokage-sama," Shikamaru said. Smoker's eyebrow went up a little. If this woman was the leader of the village, she must be pretty damn powerful . . . or just shrewd. You should never judge a book by its cover, after all . . .

The woman stood up from her chair and walked around the desk to look closer at Smoker. "Shikamaru," she spoke. The teenager gave her his undivided attention. "Get Neji and Ino here as quick as you can."

Shikamaru groaned, but he walked out the door to do his job. Smoker's face twisted in irritation as the woman circled him with a hard, critical eye, carefully vetting him. He did his best not to grind his teeth in a show of his annoyance, wishing more than ever he had his cigars to chomp down on. They'd also apparently been taken away because anything could be used as a weapon; a ring of cigars around his arm was included.

"What?" he snapped when the Hokage finally walked back to her desk and sat down. "I just need my jutte and I'll be going."

The woman's hazel eyes narrowed. "You are not getting out of this village until I determine what you're doing here and what your mission is," she replied curtly.

"I can do whatever the damn hell I want," Smoker growled.

The woman's eyes rolled. "Now where have I heard that before . . ." she said, picking up a pen and beginning to scribble her signature across a sheet of paper.

There was a quick knock on the door, followed by the opening of said door. Smoker blinked when a girl with light-pink hair stepped inside, stuffing her gloves inside her pocket. "Tsunade-shishou," the girl said respectfully, bowing.

Tsunade turned to the girl. "Ah, Sakura. Are you finished with your experiment?" she asked, greeting the girl pleasantly.

The girl nodded. "I was able to create an antidote out of the poison that was taken out of the injured shinobi. I just needed a few herbal leaves from your storage," she said. "From what the medic nins have diagnosed, the Kusa ninjas used a type of rare poisonous wildflower that grows only in Tsuchi no Kuni. It appears to have been mixed with the root of a Moonflower, which acts as a catalyst for the reaction between the body's chromosomes and the poison from the wildflower."

Tsunade nodded appraisingly. "Good job, Sakura," she said. "Get some rest, because I'll need you in a few hours."

"Thank you, Tsunade-shishou," Sakura replied. She turned on her heel, sparing Smoker only a quick, sidelong glance of curiosity, before she exited the office.

"Smart girl," Smoker commented offhandedly, faintly reminded of his faithful subordinate. He wondered how she was currently faring without him.

A moment later the door opened again, admitting a tall teenager clothed in a buttoned white robe with a gray cloth tied around his waist and a slim girl with long blonde hair covering her right eye. What surprised Smoker the most was the boy's pale-lavender eyes. There were no pupils, yet the boy appeared to see things perfectly fine.

"You called us, Hokage-sama?" the teenage boy asked.

Tsunade folded her hands under her chin. "Neji, I want you to use your Byakugan to look at this man's chakra coils," she said, looking towards Smoker.

Smoker stared at the boy, who held a hand close to his face, his index and middle fingers pressed together while his other fingers remained fisted. The veins bulged out around his eyes. Smoker raised an eyebrow in interest. Was this an ability of the Akuma no Mi? And what were these "chakra coils" the woman was talking about?

Several seconds later the boy's eyes returned to normal. "This man doesn't have chakra coils. The structure of his body's energy is different. From what I observed, he has no tenketsu points or chakra pathways, but his energy flow is similar to that of a wayward gas molecule," he reported.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "Impossible," she stated firmly. "There isn't anyone who doesn't have chakra coils. Lee's blocked coils are an exception."

Smoker cut in before the other two could speak, "I have already told your subordinate that I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't know what chakra is, I don't know what Konoha is, and I certainly don't appreciate being treated like an object. Just give me back my jutte."

Tsunade remarked, "My, aren't you a rude one."

"I'll be as rude as I want. I don't care about higher-ups because I follow my own code of justice," Smoker snapped. "I dislike being uninformed and that is currently how I perceive things. What the damn hell is going on? When I get my hands on that bastard, I'll wring his idiotic, pompous neck." That last part was muttered more to himself than the occupants of the room.

"And who is this bastard you're speaking of?" Tsunade inquired.

Smoker regarded her coolly. "I have no obligations to answer you," he replied. "Where did you put my weapon?"

"You disrespectful little –" Tsunade grabbed the empty tea cup on her desk and hurled it at him.

Smoker stepped to side, allowing the green cup to hurl past him and smash into the unforgiving wall behind him. Its shattered remains clinked to the floor. Tsunade scowled at the fact that she hadn't hit him and settled back against her seat.

"You don't act like a spy," she said. "Before I let you go, I will need your permission to have your mind invaded briefly so we know that you are not a spy or enemy ninja."

"I refuse," Smoker said. "I do not understand why you are so suspicious of people. I have no reason to be a spy when I can get answers directly. I am not an enemy because if I was, you'd be incapacitated right now. I am a Marine Commodore and I uphold a personal sense of justice. I am a government official, although those World Nobles are a pain in the ass to work for because of their decisions that I do not wholly agree with."

The room's other occupants gave each other confused looks. "What's a Marine Commodore? Who are these World Nobles you speak of?" Tsunade demanded.

Smoker stared at them. If these people really didn't know what those meant, then that pirate bastard wasn't lying. He cursed in his head and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"I'll be honest, I don't care what you think, but I need you to listen," he growled, opening one dark-grey eye to peer heavily at the Hokage. "I'm not one of these shinobi you speak of or command. I am a Marine Commodore, an officer of the Navy that hunts and catches pirates. What do you know of the Akuma no Mi?"

"What's that?" Ino asked, clearly confused. "And pirates? Are you kidding?"

"The Akuma no Mi, or Devil Fruit, is a type of fruit that grants a person special abilities," Smoker explained. "I was putting a cocky bastard in his place before he used his ability to send me here. I am not from your world, and I have every intention of getting my weapon back and find out how to get back to where I came from."

"I see," Tsunade mused. "Well then. Until we are able to help you find your way back, you are going to have to stay here in our village. I would like to evaluate your skills to see what level you are at as a Commodore, whatever rank that is."

"What are your ranks here?" Smoker questioned.

"The lowest is an Academy cadet, a ninja-in-training at the Ninja Academy. Next is Genin level, a ninja-in-training with an Elite instructor. Next is Chuunin level, a ninja-in-training that is qualified to begin taking on the mid-level missions. Next is Jounin level, a ninja-in-training that is eligible to take on higher missions or train a team of Genin. Next is Anbu-level or Hunter-nin level, a ninja-in-training that is part of a secret elite force under the direct command of the Hokage, who is currently me. A Hunter-nin is an elite ninja that hunts down missing nin, ninja that have abandoned and fled their respective villages. Next is Anbu Captain level, a ninja-in-training who commands a team of Anbu. The final level is the Hokage, a respectable shinobi that is the leader of the village. In general, the Hokage should be the strongest and the smartest, but must also care for the entire village," Tsunade explained.

"Huh," Smoker grunted. "If I had to guess, my rank as Commodore would be between your levels of Jounin and Anbu."

"We'll see," Tsunade said. She turned to the two teenagers who'd been silently watching the exchange. "You are dismissed."

The two shinobi nodded in acknowledgement and walked out the door.

"Your skills will be evaluated by one of my best Jounin," Tsunade said. "His student is returning next week with my old friend, who took him on a training trip for about two years. You will be fighting against his students while partnered up with him. I'll call him in to brief him on this new development. For now you can stay in an apartment. Shizune!"

"Tsunade-sama?" a black-haired woman holding a pet pig in her arms entered the room.

"Find this man an apartment room to stay in," Tsunade ordered.

"Yes, right away," Shizune replied quickly. She turned to the silver-haired man. "What's your name?"

"Smoker," he replied curtly.

"Well then, Smoker-san, please follow me." Shizune exited the room and looked back to see if the man was following. Smoker did, albeit reluctantly. It would take a while to get used to someone calling him without his rank attached.

The end of chapter one. Tell me how you liked it in a review.

Akuma no Mi – Devil Fruit

Anbu – Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, or Special Assassination Tactical Force

Byakugan – All-Seeing Evil Eye

Hai – yes

Hokage – Fire-Shadow

Junshou - Commodore

Kairouseki – sea-stone

Konoha/Konohagakure – Village Hidden in the Leaves

Kusa/Kusagakure – Village Hidden in the Grass

Moku-Moku no Mi – Plume-Plume Fruit

Shishou – master

Tsuchi no Kuni – Earth Country

Uchuu-Uchuu no Mi – Space-Space Fruit

Uchuu-Uchuu no Terepouto – Space-Space Teleport

Uchuu-Uchuu no Uzu – Space-Space Vortex

Waito Baasuto – White Burst

Waito Suneeku – White Snake

MangaFreak15