Like I Had a Heart…
Aaaaaand after a very long hiatus, DancingSpades is back! w00t! Lately I've felt so inspired to write this, and I'm extremely proud of it. So here it is. A cute little one-shot revolving around Axel. Enjoy!
The life of a Nobody is nothing special. That is, if one could even call it true existence. Sure, you got to travel the worlds, wielding bad-ass weapons that could destroy twenty heartless with a single strike, but nothing quite compared to being able to feel. At least from what most of them could remember.
None of the Organization could recall every single memory of their former Somebody lives, but there was one that constantly stung the back of their minds like a pissed-off killer bee: human emotion. They all longed to feel again (obviously, since they tried to overtake Kingdom Hearts for their own selfish purposes). Even though some suppressed it, like Zexion, with his cold, silent nature, and how Xemnas seemed to separate himself from all the others, they all wanted it. They craved that mix of strong emotions that is unlike anything in all the worlds: happiness, content, love, and even the negative ones: sorrow, neglect, ire, etc. To have a heart, to feel something, anything, even for a millisecond, was what they truly desired. More than anything.
Axel pondered this as he lie face-up on the bed in his plain-looking, dormitory-like room. He had just returned from a grueling mission in Hollow Bastion and was exhausted. Almost every inch of his body ached from fighting. His neck, his legs, his back, everything throbbed with pain. He would've liked to have rolled over and fallen into a deep slumber… except he was too sore to lift himself and walk two feet to turn off his light.
Heh. Too many heartless, nobody to back me up. He thought. I guess that's what I get for being cocky and going into that swarm alone.
He sighed."I'll learn eventually."
Going back to his reverie, Axel thought about feelings. He thought about his Somebody, Lea's life. Lea often experienced the basic human emotions like jealousy, lust, and anger. But sometimes, there were those rare instances when he would smile—and laugh. Oh, his laugh. How Axel would have loved to laugh like that, not his usual fake, unamused laugh, but a hearty, genuine laugh. That'd be nice. Ah, happiness, he fondly remembered. I remember it used to feel so warm and wonderful. Like fire or a huge blanket. Kind of like how I feel when I'm around her.
Axel gave a huge, gaping yawn and stretched as much as his exhausted body would allow, which wasn't much. He barely got his arms above his head when something in his left shoulder snapped.
"Aaaarghh!" he grunted, grabbing his shoulder with the opposite hand. "Damn, that hurt!" That shoulder would probably bother him for a few days, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Axel was tough; he was used to battles and extreme physical discomfort.
"VRRRRMMM!" Something made an abrupt noise, startling him slightly. It was just his cellphone vibrating on the edge of the bed. Axel hated how annoying that damn phone was, always ringing at the worst times, like when he was on missions—or at 3am when Xaldin got drunk and decided to call him. But the Superior required all of the Organization to have one for easy communication, so he tolerated it. Barely.
The red-head stuck out a foot to retrieve his phone. He felt around for a good ten seconds, his foot slipping off the bed twice. If he was any taller, his feet would dangle off the sides and scrape the floor. Finally, he got a grip on the vibrating annoyance and swept it towards himself. He flipped the phone open, and there was a text message. It read,
"U still coming?"
Oh yeah, that's right. He was supposed to meet her at the clock tower twenty minutes ago. Axel replied with a "Yeah. On my way." He then pocketed his phone, stood up and gave a final stretch before slipping on his black cloak and gloves and exiting the room.
The "her" he was referring to was Shaylex. She was around Axel's age, eighteen or nineteen, and tall, but still shorter than he. She had hair the color of oak leaves and eyes to match. One side of her hair barely reached the middle of her neck; the other brushed the very top of her shoulder. She was a ruthless fighter, but unlike the rest, she wasn't a Nobody. She had a heart.
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They met about eight months ago. Axel had some free time, so he decided to walk the Ravine Trail of Hollow Bastion. He was strolling aimlessly, lost in his own thoughts when he saw it. Below him, a vicious swarm of heartless was rapidly closing around something. The fire-wielding man walked to the edge of the Trail to get a better look; that's when he saw her.
Shaylex was the "something" the heartless were surrounding. Like Axel, she was aimlessly wandering when they ambushed her. She knew there was no way she could kill all of them, but she didn't care. She refused to run away. She had to try. So the girl pulled out a rather large gun and began to shoot, to kick, to punch with armored gloves. She managed to put a dent in the heartless' numbers, but there were just too many of them. They soon overtook her until she was on the ground, cornered and badly bruised.
Axel intently watched this scene from above. He had to admit that the green-haired girl was… impressive. A part of him took pleasure in watching her fight. As she took out heartless after heartless, there seemed to be but one thought racing through her mind: seek and destroy, seek and destroy. He admired her determination although she was completely outnumbered. She was dangerous, yet graceful and strangely…beautiful?
The emerald-eyed man quickly pushed that thought out of his head and began to walk away. But then, a scream pierced the air. He turned around and realized the girl was down for the count. She frantically felt around for her weapon, but it was nowhere in sight or reach. Black, towering shapes entrapped her until Axel could barely see her from above. Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of panic rushed through her. She knew there was no possible way of getting out of this predicament. She'd get crushed if she tried to crawl through the wall of heartless, and it was physically impossible for her to fly or teleport. In other words, she was screwed. With her back against the rock wall, Shaylex spread out her arms, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, awaiting the final blow…
But it never came.
Watching the girl's life about to end was terrible. Sure, Axel was incapable of feeling pity or compassion, but he couldn't just look on and do nothing. So he decided to help her. As she waited to be swept away by death, Axel opened a portal beside her and pulled her through before any more damage could be done.
The two were in the world of Betwixt and Between. Shaylex still had her arms spread out, and after several seconds of not feeling any pain, she opened her eyes, confused. What is this place? Am I dead? I have to be. Yeah. I must be dead. Deciding she must be dead, she then exhaled and fell backwards, but Axel caught her before she hit the ground.
When she looked up, the first thing she saw were his green eyes, the same color as hers, full of curiosity staring down at her.
"A-am I…"
"Dead?" Axel finished. "No."
"But how did you…I thought…And all those heartless-"
"I saved your neck. Don't worry about it," he said with a smirk.
Shaylex continued to stare at his eyes. She gave him a small smile. "Well thanks…Mr. Green Eyes!"
So, that's how they met. After he saved her life, he brought her back with him to the World that Never Was. He could've easily dumped her off at some hospital in another world, but well…she interested him. The Superior permitted Shaylex to stay only as long as it took her to recover. After a week or so, she was back on her feet. Xemnas was going to give her the boot—that is, until he saw her fight. Like Axel, he was impressed with her skill and ruthless determination. He decided she'd be a useful asset to the Organization, so he let her stay. She wasn't exactly a member (she wasn't even a Nobody), but she was allowed to live and train with the Organization.
In the mean time, the two green-eyed teens became close friends. Shaylex had made other friends in the Organization, but she and Axel had something special; not a relationship, exactly, but a really close friendship. Maybe it was because he saved her life; maybe it was because they could talk to each other about mostly anything. Who knows?
Shaylex had told him once that she was a rogue. She had no family or definite home and lived wherever she could until it was time to move on. Life for her was very unstable until that day. She told him she was thankful she finally had a home and people to look out for her.
If Axel had a heart, he might've said he was in love with her. But he couldn't feel, so he often ignored those sentiments.
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In the present time, Shaylex sat at the top of Twilight Town's clock tower. It was early evening, and the sun had just begun to set. From where she was, the people below looked like mice. Children scurried into the little houses as their parents called them in for dinner or other reasons. Store owners closed up shop and headed home to their families. At the tower, Shaylex sat with her hands gripping the ledge on either side of her. Her long legs swung back and forth.
Behind her, a dark portal appeared making a swooshing noise. Axel stepped out. He hesitated, waiting for her to notice his presence. Hearing the sound of the dark mass, the girl swept her verdant hair out of her eyes and turned her head.
She spotted her friend and gave him a mischievous smile. "You're late." She said.
"Yeah sorry," was all he could manage.
Shaylex gestured for him to sit, and he carefully placed himself beside her so as not to fall off the tower. The two were sitting pretty close, but not uncomfortably so. They were close enough for their thighs to touch—and for Axel to get kicked by a swinging female leg.
"Hey! Watch it!" he said after the third time getting kicked.
"Hee hee! Sorry." Shaylex glanced over at the red-head and lightly touched her foot to his shin. "Kick."
"Cut it out…" He gave her a playful shove. The jade-haired girl laughed mirthfully.
"I wish I could do that," Axel said.
"What? Kick me?"
"No, smart one. Laugh."
"Oh that? Laughing is easy! Here, I'll do it again. AH HA HA HA HAAAA!" Her loud laughter filled the air. It was a wonder she didn't disturb all of Twilight Town.
"You're so loud!"
"…And?"
"Um, nevermind. I still wish I could laugh."
"You mean you've never done it before?"
"Nope. Never had a reason to. I can't feel, remember?"
"Oh." She looks down at her feet. "Well, that doesn't matter! Here, try it."
"But I don't wa-"
"Axel!" She looked at him, a serious expression on her face. "Laugh."
He is silent for a few seconds but then gives in. "Ha. Ha. Ha." A fake, forced laugh.
"Axel, that sucked! You can do better than that!"
"I told you I'm unaffected by humor."
"O-kay, well what about some other emotion like rage or happiness or…" She trailed off. Her next word was barely audible. "...Love?"
"Hmm? What'd ya say?"
The emerald-eyed girl shook her head. "N-nothing."
"Shaylex…"
"Ok, fine. Love. I said love." Axel turned his head to look at her. He saw a flash of pain in her green orbs for a fraction of a second.
"Ok, fess up. You've got that look in your eye." He told her.
"What look?"
"That 'I've-been-through-some-shit-and-I-wanna-tell-my-good-friend-Axel-all-about-it'" look."
Shaylex gave a small laugh. "You know me too well."
"Yep, now tell me. Have you ever, y'know, been in love?"
She sighed. "Once, but it didn't end well."
"Oh? What's it like?" He asked, curious.
"It's great—until you realize you're being taken advantage of. Then it sucks. Then, you feel stupid and embarrassed. You want to run away and hide and never face the world. It makes you feel like you could rip your heart out of your chest and bottle it up, so you never feel pain ever again."
She sighed again and grabbed her temples, upset by the painful memory. Axel was unsure of how to respond to her. He hesitantly put an arm around her shoulder. Shaylex looked up at him. She is surprised by the gesture but shifts closer to him.
"Man, that sounds…rough."
"It is," she continued, "Like, I'd almost rather not feel anything at all than hurt again."
"No. Don't say that. Be glad you have a heart, unlike some of us." Axel gave her a hard, almost angry stare, causing the pained look to return. Seeing it, he softened his gaze. Shaylex relaxed and the painful look disappeared.
"Sorry…" she mouthed, but he neither heard her nor saw her lips move. He was still focused on her eyes, eyes like stained glass windows. Axel felt like he could read her entire soul through them. Her quirks and personality, and every thought she'd ever had and feeling she'd ever felt, all through her eyes. The feelings he suppressed for eight months returned like a stream. But instead of pushing them back, he welcomed them. Those eyes. He thought. Those striking, pretty green eyes. Just like mine. I could just…
Shaylex stared back at him, expectant, anticipating. She seemed to be waiting for something, some sort of secret sign in his eyes to give something away. Hmm, I wonder what he's thinking about, she mused.
Axel saw her anticipation. Suddenly, he had a thought. He wondered how she'd react if he… He breaks eye contact briefly. Two words escape his lips:
"True emotions."
With that, Axel inched towards her face ever-so-slightly. He hesitated, waiting for her response. Shaylex's eyes lit up, and she began to close the distance between them. He slid the arm on her shoulder down to her waist. He brought his forehead down to hers. Eyelashes intertwine; noses brush against each other; lips finally meet.
The two kiss for several seconds before Shaylex pulls away. She smiles coyly at him, never breaking eye contact. Axel smirks back at her and scratches the back of his head with his free hand.
"Huh. That makes me really wish I had a heart," he said.
"Do you really wish you had one?"
He sighed. "Yeah. It'd be nice."
Shaylex grinned up at him. "Then, take mine!"
"Huh?"
"Take. Mine!"
Axel gave her a confused look, and then it dawned on him. He smiled back her and nodded. "Okay."
She continued grinning and grabbed his chin and pulled him down to kiss her once more. It is more brief this time. They pull away smiling. Shaylex gives a contented sigh and rests her head on Axel's shoulder.
And as they stared off into the fading august light, her head on his shoulder, he felt a certain warmth in his chest. Something like a fire or a nice, warm blanket. Happiness.
Hope you guys liked it. Reviews are greatly appreciated!