Disclaimer: [Insert long rambling story here], and so anyway, I guess the parrot did have the last laugh. As you just saw, I do not own Digimon. Well, actually I have a Greymon, and his mouth opens when you push a switch on his back so…
The sun blazed hot in the sky, and so the digidestined decided to go off to… a… umm… leisure center! Yes, that'll do. The only digimon who was with them was Tentomon, because he is too cool to leave behind.
Matt: Just whose idea was it to come here?
Tai: Whose idea was it? Find out next time on Digimon: Digita…
Mimi: TAI! It's the start, not the end!
Joe: Wow, Mimi. You're unusually perceptive today.
Mimi: Yes, I only got it yesterday.
Joe: *Stares at Mimi* Never…mind.
Everyone walked inside the center, except for Tentomon who was flying slowly. By the time Tentomon reached the automatic doors, they had closed.
Tentomon: Wait for me! *Flies into the door* It doesn't open! An evil digimon must be lurking inside! And Izzy's all alone and unprotected!
Meanwhile, inside…
Tai: Well, I'll think I'll go weight lifting!
Matt: Me too. *Goes off with Tai*
Sora: I feel like a sauna.
Mimi: You do? You don't look like one.
Sora: Come on Mimi! *Goes off with Mimi*
TK: I'm going swimming!
Kari: And me!
Joe: Great. As usual, I have to make sure they don't drown. *Those three go off*
Izzy: Hmm… I believe swimming might be interesting.
Lifeguard: Stop kid! You can't bring that computer in here! I'll put it in a safe place. You can get it back later. *Grabs Izzy's computer*
Izzy: MY COMPUTER! NO! LET GO! *Grabs the computer too*
While this tug o' war was beginning…
Tai: This weight lifting thing is easy!
Matt: Um… Tai, you have to put weights on the end of that bar before you start lifting it.
Tai: You think you know everything! Well dodge this! *Swings the bar at Matt*
Matt: Oh yeah! *Dodges, knocks the bar out of Tai's hand, and uppercuts him*
Tai: DAMN YOU TO HELL! *Throws some weights at Matt*
Matt: OW! My eye… you hit my eye…
Tai: I'm sorry, are you ok?
Matt: FOOL! *Starts strangling Tai*
Tai: Uggh…. *Kicks Matt in the chest*
Matt: Ummph… *Garbs a bottle and throws it at Tai. The liquid inside goes over his hair*
Tai: AHHHHH! My god! That was Gatorade! Do you have any idea how long it will take to get that out of my hair?!! *Throws the rest of the Gatorade at Matt*
Matt: MY FACE! Oh, it BURNS! AHH! The agony! *Covers his face with his hands*
Tai: HAHAHA! *Sees Matt charging at him* Oh hell.
Matt charged into Tai and they both went flying backwards, smashed through the wall, and found themselves in a steamy room.
Matt: Oh, I can't see…
Tai: Neither can I… *Waves his arms in front of him* Hey, I think I've found a towel!
Matt: Me too! *Grabs the towel and uses it to wipe his eyes. Tai does the same*
Tai and Matt look up and notice Sora and Mimi, both angry and naked.
Tai: Umm… I guess these are your towels…
Matt: Yeah… wow, you two sure have big… ***WHACK***
Tai: Well, he is right, you do have… ***WHACK***
But now we must leave our unconscious heroes, and visit the others.
Joe: Ok, you'll be safe here in the kids pool.
TK: *Jumps in* Help! I'm drowning! Glug… save…. me…
Joe: HELP! POLICE! LIFEGUARD! HELP!!!!
Kari: What the hell are you all on about? The pool is only an inch deep!
TK: *Stands up* I knew that.
Joe: Oh, I feel a heart attack coming on… too much stress….
Kari: Let's play a game! I'll be MetalSeadramon! River of POWER! *Splashes water at TK*
TK: There's water in my eyes! I want…to…go…. home! *Starts crying*
Joe: Kari, look what you did!
Kari: So? *Bites Joe's leg* HAHA! No one can stop me. *Runs off*
Joe: Will you be ok TK? I'm just going to get Kari.
TK: Yeah! Go drag that bitch back by her hair!
Joe: Not the best response… but ok.
And as Joe departs on his pointless quest, we must return to whence we first began… Izzy.
Izzy: My computer! MINE!
Lifeguard: Look, I just want to put it in a safe place so the water won't damage it while you're swimming!
Izzy: NO! MINE! MINE!
LG: Wow, he's very strong for a little kid… *Calls two more lifeguards*
Outside the leisure center, Tentomon is busy trying to open the doors.
Tentomon: Ok, now if I cross this yellow wire, and switch it with the blue…
Back in the swimming pool, all the lights started flashing on and off.
Joe: AHHHH! The apocalypse has come! *Sees Kari* Come back here kid!
Kari: The name's Kiki!
Joe: No, it's Kari.
Kari: Yeah right, "Joe", if that is your real name. *Runs off*
Joe: I hate my life. *Chases Kari up some stairs*
Kari: See ya! *Goes off down the waterslide*
Joe: NO! *Dives down the waterslide and grabs her*
When they reach the end, they both fly off and smash into the wall.
Kari: Uggghhh…. my head…
Joe: Now you don't do that again!
Lifeguard: What's this?
Joe: Nothing, Kari was just…
LG: AH! Child abuse! Call the police! *Runs off to get a phone*
Joe: No wait! Stop!
Now, we return to Tai, Sora, Matt, and Mimi who have left the sauna to get a snack at the snack bar. They are, of course, fully dressed now. Mimi and Sora sat at a table, while Matt and Tai went to get the food.
Tai: *Looking in the ice box* That ice cream looks nice… I'll take it.
Sales person: That's $2.50
Tai: Lousy…. Steal my money…. *Accidentally drops his money in the icebox* AHHHHH! My money!
Sales P: Well, get it out!
Tai leans into the icebox to get his money. The sales person pushes him in and locks the lid on.
Tai: Ok… I got my money… hello? Anyone?
At the vending machines…
Matt: Hmm… I wonder which drink to get. *Puts some money in and nothing happens* THIEVING MACHINE! DIE! *Kicks the machine*
Machine: Sorry, we have no more of that beverage in stock.
Matt: You think you're so smart! I'll get you! *Begins shaking machine*
Machine: This is a warning. DANGER! DANGER! *Squirts Gatorade out at Matt*
Matt: NO, IT BURNS!!! My beautiful face! Ruined! *Screams and runs towards the door but crashes into the police who have just entered*
Police: That's quite enough young man.
Matt: IT BURNS! OWWW! HELP MEEEEE!
Police: Looks like he's on drugs. And I don't like his hair. Better arrest him. *Puts handcuffs on Matt and drags him off*
Back to Izzy. There are now five lifeguards all trying to take the computer from Izzy.
Izzy: MINE, MINE, MINE!
LG: He can't hold on much longer!
Tentomon: *Watching from outside* Oh no… Izzy needs me! Digivolve to… Kabuterimon. Digivolve to… MegaKabuterimon! *Breaks down the door and runs in* Why didn't I just do that before? Oh well, live and learn.
Izzy: MegaKabuterimon, HELP!
MegaKabuterimon and Izzy then work together to pull the computer. But the lifeguards just won't let go. Sora and Mimi are still waiting at the table while all this is happening. A policeman approaches them.
Police: 'Ello. Do you know this suspicious individual? *Holds up a picture of Matt*
Mimi: Yes, that's my friend.
Police: ACCOMPLICE! You're under arrest!
Mimi: No, it's a dress, not a vest. And you shouldn't be looking!
Police: That's what they all say. *Handcuffs Mimi*
Mimi: Sora, do something!
Sora: Who are you? I've never seen you before?
Police: *To Sora* You've never seen this girl before?
Sora: No.
Mimi: I'll get you for that, Sora! If I have to go to the ends of the earth, I'LL GET YOU! *The police drag her away*
Sora walks over to the icebox and lets Tai out.
Tai: Hey Sora! It's so cool in here! 50 different flavors! And they are all mine! HAHAHA!
Sora: Tai, snap out of it! *Slaps him*
Tai: Sorry, the ice cream affected my brain.
Sora: We had better escape before the police get us too.
Tai: Why? What did we do? *His face turns red* Oh god! You mean that night we… AHH! Sora you're pregnant!
Sora: Umm… no.
Tai: Good, I need all my money for myself anyway. I need a pink monkey for my train.
Sora: Sigh… *Grabs Tai and shoves him along*
Sora and Tai only get a short way before they run into Joe, Kari, and TK.
Sora: Good, we have to get out of here!
Tai: Look at all the pretty lights…
Kari: NO! Someone let Tai have ice cream! He'll be delirious for hours!
TK: HAHAHA! Tai's a living joke!
Sora: *Snaps TK's neck* And you're a dead joke!
Kari: TK! Wow, that was kind of cool!
Tai: I'm singing in the rain…. What a glorious moon that shines as the lion sleeps tonight!
Joe: With Tai insane, and TK dead…
Sora: Matt and Mimi arrested…
Kari: TK dead and Izzy missing…
Joe: It is my responsibility to lead us all to safety! *Pulls a gun out of his bag*
Tai: Oh… shiny…
Sora: A gun?
Joe: What did you think I kept in my bag? Books?
Sora: Now what?
Joe: Into the ventilation shafts!
Tai: I'm a plane… and a train! Chug, chug, chug!
Tai and Sora climb up. Then the police start heading over towards them.
Kari: Uh oh.
Joe: Hmmm… sorry Kari, you might reveal secrets to the enemy. *Shoots Kari*
Kari: Ohh…. I died for the cause.
Joe: *Salutes* We'll remember you soldier. *Jumps into the ventilation shaft*
And a quick transition to Izzy…
Izzy: LET GO!
LG: Just let us take it, and…
Izzy: NO!
MegaKabuterimon: Horn Buster! *Vaporizes the lifeguards*
Izzy: YES! My precious computer. I will never let anyone harm you again, my love.
Joe, Sora, and Tai jump down form the ventilation shaft.
Joe: Izzy, we need to escape!
Izzy: Hmm… a simple problem.
They all climb on MegaKabuterimon and fly up through the roof.
Tai: I'm flying! WOW!
Joe: Commence attack on enemy base!
Izzy: Roger.
Joe: Actually it's Kari… I mean Joe.
MegaKabuterimon: HORN BUSTER! *The leisure center is vaporized*
Joe: All safe and sound.
Sora: Except for Mimi and Matt. They are in that police car on their way to jail.
MegaKabuterimon: No problem. HORN BUSTER! *Vaporizes the car*
Izzy: Considering our choices, that was the best thing to do.
Sora: We could of tried to save them.
MegaKabuterimon: I didn't think of that. And what's all this 'we'? I did it all! ME!
Sora: Sorry.
Tai: Ohh… anyone got some vanilla?
And so ended the latest adventure of the digidestined. Sora learned to trust no one. Tai learned to avoid ice cream. Izzy learned nothing. Joe learned a few facts about life, mainly stuff to do with killing. Tentomon learned the hard way that automatic doors and bugs don't mix. And MagnaAngemon learned that Gate of Destiny was a pretty stupid attack. Wait… that happens next time on…
Tai: LET ME SAY IT! *AHEM* Next time on Digimon: Digital Monsters!