(Ok this is a update/ remake as the first time I posted this I had to rate it as anyone friendly when it will not be...
I'm also giving a little more meat and editing it so that it's more reader friendly as it was brought to my attention that Blocks of text hurt peoples Eyes and I find that I agree Been experiencing some tunnel vision myself from spending so much time on here.
Well then lets get to it this is to the New updated and longer version of The Lord Commissar and the Zero.)
BOOM!
The explosion Shook the courtyard where students of the Tristain Magical academy where performing the spring summoning ritual for their familiars all had accomplished the task most exemplary, That is except for one. Louise De Velliere all she could normally accomplish magically were Explosions of the most random sort of Chaos imaginable though to be fair it was of no fault of her own or a fault of anyone else other then a hidden secret those of Tristain. Nay the rest of the world would find out.
As the smoke cleared a most unusual sight could be seen most unusual indeed as both the second year students And Professor Colbert of the Academy and the sight that assaulted them. A tall man in a great black Coat trimmed in blood red with a equally Red sash tied about his midriff a Cap emblazoned with a Skull and crossbones in metal rested upon his head His stance was that not of someone accustomed to peace but one instead to that of war and by the look of the man a Lord Commissar by the name of Benir He was most Displeased his force sword in his right hand in a position that could be brought about quickly and a bolt pistol aimed at whoever was closest which unfortunately happened to be the poor pink haired Louise whom summoned him. His left cybernetic eye glowed angrily as he sized up the pink haired little girl and Spoke in most intimidatingly deep voice.
"WHAT HERRESY IS THIS!" he shouted firing the bolt pistol into the ground next to Louise's left foot the small rocket propelled round burrowed into the ground before exploding seconds later throwing the turf of the courtyard over the girl and the Lord Commissar himself.
The Mage's in training and their Teacher being shocked could have been most accurately surmised as the understatement of a life time. From the unknown shout for they could not understand the commissar and the display of force and hostility though they were powerful magically they were petrified due to their soft and cushy lives.
Colbert speechless for a second looked at the strange man and silently threw his hands up in a sign of surrender nodding to his students to do the same which the near petrified students also complied. Silently Louise herself thought it prudent to do the same if after quietly and much to her shame soiling herself.
Lord Benir Just shook his head still furious he could only hope lord General Castor could handle things without him. But Sadly the Commissar's thoughts were grim very grim on what his comrades were to face without him. But back to the situation at hand. He looked over at the group of children all had their hands up just like their Teacher? 'what in the name of the emperor have I found myself in?' Benir though silently to himself before sighing and holstering his bolt pistol though he kept his force sword in a ready position.
Louise on the other hand was quivering in fear looking up at her summoned familiar and was frantically looking towards Colbert for any sign of guidance from the balding and bespectacled man. To which she received a nod. Swallowing quite visibly her own pride and fear she slowly stepped in front of the Terrifying man. He hadn't only terrified the Tristanian students by his actions and appearance his entire being radiated fear and almost Absolute control in a spine chilling way.
Looking up at the intimidating commissar Louise brought a hand down and curled her finger towards herself in an inviting motion. Benir thinking that somehow the language barrier could be broken leaned in towards the pink haired girl out of curiosity and interest. Sword tip stuck in the earth by his feet and hands supporting himself on his knees he leaned to eye level for the girl only to be caught of guard by... A kiss?
He paused straightening running what had just occurred through his mind mulling the images and sounds through his head. First she'd gotten his attention then she mumbled something then she kissed him. Lifting his hands in between a shrug and a gesture obviously indicating the poor pink haired girl. "What the frak?"
Louise glad she got it over with and glad that the man was showing confusion instead of hostility now watched as a glowing light could be seen emanating from his left hand the top of it anyways. The man in question feeling heat radiate from said appendage looked down then at the girl then back down at his hand again. Feeling the pain he grunted for a moment but bit back the aggression that was slowly creeping into his mind from his arm.
Once the pain stopped and the itching sensation as well Louise watched as the Commissar removed his glove and looked at the back of a severely scarred hand shuddering at the thought of what he'd gone through before becoming her familiar. Then the jeers started.
Kirche was the first the well endowed and tan redhead coming to the fore of the students and right next to Louise before whispering to the pinkette "Good going Zero not only do you fail at magic but as summoning as well whatever happened to your beautiful familiar that looks like it hit every branch as it fell out of the ugly tree." Se said give a mean spirited laugh as she finished.
At this moment two things happened Louise turned the color of a tomato from her rising anger and lifted her wand towards the Insulting Germanian shaking in rage from the insults she always received and two, Benir silently was behind the Redhead with his bolt pistol calmly and casually against the back of her head. "What was that GIRL!" he asked barking out the last part
Hearing him speak in their language ultimately terrified everyone who witnessed it especially Kirche. Not only from his actions and holding a weapon to the back of a students head but from the sheer malice and hatred radiating from the cold and grizzled voice. Another student shouting at Louise. "Keep that commoner familiar on a leash Zero" which also served to further infuriate the pinkette who only just now fedlt the chill from her familiars voice.
Snapping she swatted her familiars unusually heavy hand and weapon away from Kirche and shouted. "How dare you commoner threaten a noble with a weapon!" she shouted causing an explosion from her wand right in Benir's face.
Recovering quickly the Lord commissar. Just shook with rage holstered his pistol and walked right to the little girl backhanding her into the ground. "Hold your tongue child I am Lord Commissar Benir!"
He shouted in a guttural way. At hearing his outburst everyone was shocked most of all Louise. Continuing Benir looked at all in attendance. "I have killed for less then that insult you SWINE GENERALS FEAR ME AND MEN OBEY ME!" his ire was past the boiling point and he was no nonsense.
Shocked at the revelation and the quite obvious threat at hand Professor Colbert was immediately in front of the Commissar "Sir I realize your just as shocked as us to find you here, but please forgive us we had no idea." he said to which he earned a similarly heavy backhand across his face knocking the balding man to his knee's "Your excuses and cowardice do not interest me!" Benir exclaimed before lifting the man up by his shirt and locking that horrible red eye on the man.
"Take me to whoever is in charge of this Herresy or die!"
(And on that note I'll leave you with a cliff hanger. Please tell me if there is anything I should change or work out next chapter and as always R&R)